A/N: Well not much emotion involved between Ashley and Bosco and their shall I say "budding" relationship. Afairly long flashback, happenscant tell you what of just read on. Has anyone else heard a song and tried to create a chapter out of it? Well this is sorta like that but I had this whole thing set up before I discovered the song. I'm The One by Seether. I've also discovered that I had already named her sister Racheal and now her daughters that name too. Oops. So I'm going to keep her sisters name Racheal, and now her daughters name is Dakota. The flashbacks are in italics and the song is in the bold italics. To liven things up a bit, I added some Maroon 5 in there, Shiver. I also thrown in True by Ryan Cabrera for the hell of it.

Flashback

She sat staring out the window in the parlor, watching the storm rage on. The wind whipped the trees to and fro, the lightning lit up the room only for a brief second allowing her to see why she was sitting in this room tonight. The gun. She reached for her drink, her father's secret stash, he thought he was the only one who knew where it was, and somehow he didn't notice it go down. He was too drunk to notice, all he did notice was when he was getting low on booze and drugs.

Here she's coming and she's drunk again
She's only seventeen

She welcomed the liquid amber burning her throat that she had long ago grown accustomed to, this would be the last time, she saw how her sister was after every time their father spent quality time together as he put it. Really it was just a cover-up to what was really going on, he was raping Rachael. How would his buddies like that? To know that there friend was beneath them. He could face prison time if anyone found out, but he would get off, he had the money to do that, the scandal would bring press, even if it was bad it was free advertisement for his business. He would make money off of this. She wouldn't have that he'd hurt to many people already.

The front door opened, for a brief second allowing a person to enter and the storm to come in before the door slammed shut. Daddy's home. Stumbling drunk and high at that. He fumbled around for a light, finding one he flicked it on, her presence surprised him but he recovered quickly.

"Hey Pumpkin" he bent down to kiss her cheek, nearly falling on her as he did, he hadn't seen the gun yet. The moment the door opened he had sat it beside her within reach, so he wouldn't know her intentions just yet.

"Where's your sister?" somewhere you cant hurt her

"At a friend's" it took a little bit for it to sink in but then did

"How about we spend some quality time together?" she wasn't about to let him do that

Her daddy said
"well that's enough of that
come be my little queen"

"How about another time? I'm a bit tired" he ran his hand up her leg, why had she decided to wear a skirt? Why couldn't she have changed?

And now he's touching her wrong again
He's gonna give her disease
He never wanted it anyway
He only does as he please

"It will only take a few minutes" he knew that she knew, he wasn't trying to hide it. She wondered how her and her sister was conceived it all he could go was for a couple minutes.

"No" she said firmly, that resulted with her getting back handed against the mouth. She tasted the coopery taste of blood, it was only moments before he would try something again, and she'd be ready for him. Her fingers touched the cool metal, giving her a small sense of hope that she could do this.

Here he's coming and he's drunk again
He's on amphetamines
Scratch his nails down the other leg
'Cause you're my little queen
And now he's touching her wrong again
She's only trying to get by
He never wanted it anyway
He never soils the child

His hand went to her breast and started caressing the flesh through the thin material, her hand gripped around the but of the gun, she'd seen so many people do it in movies, she had to squeeze the trigger not pull it, what was the difference. The moment came when he bent to capture his lips with hers, she squeezed the trigger, firing once, hoping that it was enough. His face going blank, his cold eyes staring at her, not really believing she'd just done what she did.

"Payback's a bitch daddy" she said as he fell to the floor, clutching his chest. She wiped his blood off her face with a flick of her wrist.

She tossed and turned through the entire nightmare before she awoke with a jolt, in a cold sweat, tangled in sheets. Her breath came in deep rugged breaths. It was just a dream she told herself, but the dream was a memory that had happened. She had pulled the trigger and he had died by her hand. She glanced around the room trying to get her bearings, the room dark, the bed empty beside her, where was Bosco? She glanced at the clock, the alarm should have wakened her up hours ago, now all she had was half an hour to get ready before she had to leave.

"Bosco?"

"In the kitchen" he was already showered and dressed and at the moment eating a piece of toast along with a cup of coffee.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I tried, several time you were dead to the world" that wasn't like her, the slightest noise she was up.

"Weatherman says another scorcher, UV index is ten and recommending that anyone who can stay in, do it" a cops worst Mother Nature. They had to be out there patrolling the streets rain or shine, sleet or snow. A hundred degrees or thirty below.

"Makes you wonder what they did back in the day for heat doesn't it?" he sipped his coffee and shoved the last piece of toast in his mouth chewing waiting for her answer

"They didn't have heat like this back then, we have the green house effect to thank for this" she moved to the coffee maker, at least she wanted caffeine if had to hurry.

She had five minutes left, before they had to leave and for some strange reason Bosco was getting impatient, it was always her trying to hustle him out the door, and now he wanted to be early? Maybe for a little conference with Miss Black before shift started?

"Hey Hun?" she called out, he didn't know if it was a slip of the tongue that she had called him Hun or what but he liked it.

"Can you remind me to stop at the drug store on the way home?"

"Sure" he came up behind her in the bathroom "What for?"

"Birth control"

"Ok. Since you called me Hun does this mean I get to call you pumpkin" she stiffened, no one had called her that since, well that night

"No" the rooms atmosphere went from nice and warm to freezing in thirty seconds flat. She moved past him walking into the living room, she didn't say another word.

Not in the car ride over, not when they departed only when she saw the look on Cruz's face, a face that was distressed and terror. Her cell phone still opened in here hand

"What's wrong?" Ashley sat her coffee cup on the desk in front of her. Cruz wasn't looking at her but the screen behind her, about an accident on the freeway. Something must have knocked her back into reality because she suddenly glanced at Ashley.

"Hayden was on that freeway" the news was showing the accident that had just happened moments before, no cop had responded yet. Then she saw it, or what was left of it, Hayden's car. It didn't take much more for both women to be running out of the precinct at top speed. Making people stop and stare, and trying to guess where the two were going.

The traffic jam started about a mile and half back, luckily they were in a cop car, and could very easily pull into the shoulder and sped past all of them, alerting the angry drivers something was definitely wrong.

"Was Hayden on the phone with you?"

"He was breaking in and out until there was this loud noise and it went out completely." Cruz didn't even sound like herself, she sounded like a little kid, who knew something bad had happened but didn't know what yet.

She didn't know how they managed it but somehow they were the first ones there, she had to think why they were, the accident had happened a while ago and yet no one had responded.

It was one big jumbled pile of metal, at least ten cars involved. One car's tires were still turning if that was possible. There was glass everywhere, upon broken pieces of metal that had come off during impact. A buses had already been called along with the fire and rescue, all they could do was wait and see how many were injured and how many were – dead. That's something she didn't like, seeing a dead body, she didn't know how something could be dead and yet you could see the thing right in front of you.

She flashed her flashlight in between the cars finding one alive one dead. An elderly man had a cut along his skull; well his 20-year-old passenger was dead. The saddest thing was that the man knew that, she guessed, his granddaughter was dead and he had caused it. She found three more dead, a whole family- the mom, dad and the little boy that couldn't have been anymore than eight all dead. Their car barely a car anymore. She found the car she was dreading, Hayden's car, she was mistaking taking this task Cruz had gone off and secured the area, after a little argument of course.

At first what she saw was unsettling but then the body moved and coughed and she let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"Hayden stay still, help is on its way" he let out a cough and remained still. She checked four more cars all occupants dead, how she didn't know. That made the death count up to 15, one car had a driver in it while another had two, the rest had four in them two more families gone. Two more cars to check which meant, these were the two that caused it. She breathed in slowly and made her way over to the other car, she wasn't prepared for what she saw. The driver was David, she got in the best he could and checked for a pulse and found none. Her stomach dropped, she was about to be sick but kept it down and moved on. The car that had the most damage and was away from everyone one else. The car that had started the accident was half gone, the back end was now in the front. And in between was a woman driver, she crept slowly towards the small metal knowing that who ever was in that car wouldn't be walking away from it, if they were even alive and it was a very small chance they were.

She could hear the sirens coming from all directions; help had come for the living, and the morgue for those who hadn't. She had a lot of funerals to go to, it was a rule of hers if the person was dead and she was a part of team that responded she would go to the funeral kind of a way to pay her respects and try to get to know what type of person they were.

She couldn't bring herself to take the final steps to see the final person, but she knew she must. She took one step forward, then another until she reached the door and looked. Just like seeing David in his car, she wasn't prepared for what she saw. She saw Faith.

She shut her eyes, no it couldn't be her, she opened them praying she would see someone else but she didn't, she saw Faith's body, the blood and the piece of metal coming out of her stomach. Their was no question about it, they were both dead. Faith and the baby. She shook herself out of what ever she was in, she had a job to do, she yelled to the paramedics that only two had lived, the elderly man and Hayden. Two out of eighteen How was that possible?

Her ex-husband was dead, she hated him but never had she wished that he would die. She dreaded having to tell Bosco, she had no idea how he would react. She wanted to get away from it all, someone was shaking her and she looked up. Cruz her mouth was moving but she couldn't understand what she was saying, then the sound came back and she heard, people yelling, machines working trying to free the people, the sirens and music, coming from the cars. And lastly she caught the tail end of Cruz's question

"…ok?" she didn't have to hear the whole question to know what she had been asked.

"Hayden's fine" relief washed over Cruz. Ashley shrugged out of Cruz's grasp. Images flashing through her mind, the lightning, the gun firing, her father's face, it overwhelmed her until she had to sit down. She watched the rescuers get the elderly man out, and put him on a gurney and run towards the waiting ambulances.

Darkness slowly crept over them all, the sun slowly turning to dusk and shadows; lights were brought in to clear away the rest of the mess. She helped the best way she could but her and Cruz were no longer needed and so they left. She really didn't feel like talking to anyone, shocked to see that a part of her had still loved David, not in the sense that they could ever get together but maybe as her first love or something. Had his sister been told yet? His sister was the closet living relative, his parents both dead long ago.

She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting in front of his locker, knowing that he would never be coming to unlock it again, never taking anything out to change into.

"How could you?" a voice almost yelled as the person came through the door

"How could you not call me and tell me? I had to find out from someone else that she's dead!" he wasn't going to blame her for this, they had a protocol to follow, the family had to be contacted before anyone else. She remained silent, not sure if she could keep her voice steady.

"Huh? You sure made that Hayden was ok though" now he was accusing her of thinking more about a man, who had been in desperate need of medical attention, than calling him to tell him one of his ex girlfriends was dead. This wasn't going to happen here not now. She watched him, waiting to see if he was finished, from the looks of it he was.

"I never thought you would be the one to put yourself in front of others" she said dryly.

"Hayden was in the middle of the accident, Faith was dead, what the hell was I supposed to do? Drop everything just to call you? No doesn't work that way" she knew he knew that she had been right but it didn't like it. He walked away with out saying anything. Only to return seconds later to pull her into a mind blowing kiss then leaving quickly as he came.

He knew he shouldn't have done that but something inside him snapped once he learned that Faith was dead, and he took it out on her, he wouldn't have called her right away if it was someone she knew, he would wait until he knew for a fact the family had called, so he had no right to jump down her throat like he did. She just lost her ex-husband today, but what about him, he lost a woman he thought he loved for years only to be stabbed in the back by her getting pregnant with Miller. Why the hell did he have to go and mess up what he had going with Ashley? Hell she deserved it, running around, avoiding telling him either she loved him deeply or to get lost.

You build me up
You knock me down
Provoke a smile
And make me frown
You are the queen of run around
You know it's true

Shift wasn't done for another couple of hours so he sat in the car half-listening to Black drone on about a date she had last night. He didn't care, and he still didn't know why she would tell him about it, they knew each other not even three weeks. He knew most of her life story from when he had listened. He'd never met a more boring person than her and yet she never shut up.

"Shut your fucking mouth" he'd finally had enough of her. He had something to settle, for once she had listened to him and kept her mouth shut as he dialed, the person picked up on the second ring.

"We need to talk now" the person gave him directions and he drove himself there, he gave strict orders to Black, to stay put and shut up if she knew what was good for her, and said it in a tone that meant business.

"What's so important that couldn't wait for another three hours?" the wind whipped around them blowing her hair around as she pulled her coat deeper around her, summer was slowly coming to an end and the nights were getting chillier.

"I'm sorry about everything, I had no right to accuse you or talk to you like that" this wasn't easy for him she could tell, he stared down at the ground.

"It's ok"

"No it's not I want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt you in any way" their was silence before she said anything.

"I know"

"Dammit, I.. I don't know ok, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster with no safety restraint"

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
that you belong with me

"Because of what?" her cheeks now rosy from the nipping wind

"How can you ask because of what?" he was doing it again and quickly calmed his temper

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

"I told you soon ok?" she couldn't stand to see him hurting because of her but she couldn't bring herself to say it, she didn't know why.

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing that's true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

"Are we supposed to go on hold until then?" he just wanted to take her into his arms, until he felt calm again. She looked at him tears filling her eyes on the brink of falling; it almost ripped his heart in two.

You don't know
what you do
every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

"No, not unless you want to" she looked up trying to get the unleashed tears to go away.

"Never" he held out his arms for her and she gladly walked into them holding on to as tightly as she could. The tears ran down her face freely onto his shirt, he just trying to calm her, gently rocked them.

"I'm so scared" she said between sobs

"Shh…It's ok"

Jessica couldn't see much from where she was sitting, she was too far away, she could only make out the shapes even though they were standing in a street lamp. She could tell the woman was wearing a brown jacket and was suffering greatly if Bosco had allowed her to step into his embrace. It pained her a little but she knew she could never have Bosco his heart belonged to someone else and always would.

"I'm so scared" she said again "That I'm going to do something that messes this thing up"

"I know you could never do that"

"But I always do, no relationship has ever lasted"

"We've lasted for six years"

"We hadn't been together not physically anyway"

"Hey look at me" he placed his hands on either side of her face and made her look at him

"Do you want this to end?" he looked into her eyes, she didn't meet his gaze. She shook her head.

"Good neither do I, now was that so hard?" he asked letting go, she laughed and dried her eyes

"No I guess not"

"Then its settled" he placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead, he paused before his lips touched hers. He greedily took everything she gave and then some.

She pulled away breathless

"We can't, we have work to do" he silently nodded and let go of her. Their jobs were never done. Always something to do. She walked away without another word into the darkness.