Chapter Four: Choices
Kagome sat on a rock by the river. The group was on their way back to the village and the well. Thinking about the conversation she had had with Inuyasha earlier, Kagome's eyes glazed over with unshed tears and she hugged her blanket tighter around her. How could he have said such mean, awful, hurtful things to her?
Earlier
"Kagome," Inuyasha said without emotioin. His ears pricked backwards in annoyance. He had turned his back to her.
"Yes, Inuyasha?" she asked congenially.
"We have to talk," he replied quietly, still without emotion. "In private."
Nodding, Kagome followed him out to where they could still see camp but not be overheard. When they stopped in clearing nearby, Inuyasha looked out to the horizon. "What do you want to talk about?" she wanted to know.
"You. Go back to your world."
"What?"
"Go back to your world, Kagome. You aren't needed here."
The statement hit Kagome with the force of a bag of bricks. "What do you mean?"
The hanyou whirled and faced the miko, bitterness, hurt, and something foreign shining through his amber eyes. "We don't need a traitor here. Go back to your world."
"You haven't even bothered to ask me, alone, why I've gone to Sesshoumaru--no, why he comes to me. And anyway, how is this any different from Kikyo and you?" Kagome demanded, tears beginning to gather at the corners of her eyes. "I'm not more a traitor now than you were with Kikyo."
"Kikyo was much different!" he snarled.
"How?" Kagome pressed. "Explain to me, O Inuyasha-sama!"
"I was in love with Kikyo. I had an obligation to protect her," he told her, his voice layered in deadly overtones. His hands had clenched into fists at his sides.
The miko narrowed her eyes. "And I don't? Who says I'm not in love with Sesshoumaru-kun? Who says I don't have an obligation to him?"
Inuyasha's eyes narrowed back at her. "You're in love with Sesshoumaru, then?"
"I didn't say that. You're jumping to conclusions, Inuyasha," she told him.
"Why would you say 'who says I'm not in love with Sesshoumaru' if you didn't mean it?" Inuyasha growled.
"You aren't letting me explain!" she cried desperately.
He either didn't hear her or decided to ignore her. "Dammit, Kagome--it's either him or me. Pick. Sesshoumaru or me!"
There was...she couldn't...how could she pick between them? In desperation, Kagome burst into tears, trying hurriedly to wipe them away to hide how Inuyasha had hurt her. She dropped to her hands and knees, covering her mouth with one of her hands.
Shit... Inuyasha cursed mentally. Why did she have to go and fucking cry?
He crouched next to her. "Eh...Kagome..."
She turned her back on him, sniffling furiously. "W-what?"
"Why are you crying?" he asked. Stupid question, genius.
"It doesn't matter," she sobbed pathetically.
Seeing how much he had hurt her and not being able to help, Inuyasha jumped up, growled under his breath, and took off. "What do I do?" he muttered, landing in a tree branch and staring forlornly out into the distance. "Was it fair to make her choose between my brother and me? What if she really doesn't love Sesshoumaru?" he pondered aloud. The late afternoon had already gone halfway through its transition into night, offering the stars and a new moon as setting for Inuyasha's turbulent thoughts. "I was too hard on her," he decided. "Keh...she and Sesshoumaru...my sworn enemy..."
Meanwhile, Kagome sat crouched in the grass, trying to empty all of her tears before she went back to Miroky, Sango, Shippou, and Kirara. The last thing she needed was them worrying unnecessarily about her. Inuyasha was right--she was a traitor, and the situation was much different than Kikyo and Inuyasha. She wasn't protecting Sesshoumaru, she wasn't in love with Sesshoumaru...it was very different. Yet, Kagome imagined it hurt more than Kikyo and Inuyasha. She herself couldn't imagine the situation, but it must have hurt, or else Inyuasha wouldn't have told her to leave like that. Still, it hurt her to hear those things--traitor, you're not needed, go back to your world...
Furiously, she tried to shove back a fresh wave of tears. This was ridiculous, she told herself. If Inuyasha didn't want to understand then that was his problem. It seemed the only person that didn't want something from her nowadays was Kouga. All he wanted from her was her. "Hmph," she said dully. "I don't choose either of them. I choose Kouga-kun."
"I knew you would come around someday, Kagome."
She jumped up. "K-Kouga-kun!"
"Ah, my little butterfly!" he said adoringly, hugging her. "I had hoped you would come to your senses and realizes Inukkuro was bad for you. Who's the other one you had to choose between?"
"Ah...Kouga-kun..." Kagome protested. "I was just thinking angry thoughts out loud. I don't really choose you." She looked down as Kouga released her. "I'm sorry."
The wolf youkai tilted Kagome's face up, searching her brown eyes. He cupped her cheek in his hand and gently wiped away some of her tears with his thumb. "Has Inukkuro kissed you yet?"
"N-no...why, Kouga-kun?" she asked, afraid the wold youkai would take away her first kiss.
"Let me know when he does." Instead of claiming her first kiss, Kouga simply kissed her cheek terribly close to her mouth. "After Inukkuro kisses you, I'll show you what a real kiss feels like." Usually, Inuyasha caught Kouga before the wolf demon gave any indication of romance. As much as Kagome hated to admit it, Kouga truly seemed to love her. "Farewell, Kagome," he wished her. "Good luck choosing. I'm always the unlisted last option, if you need me. Just use the Shikon shards and I'll be here faster than you can say 'Inukkuro.' G'bye, Kagome!"
He left without waiting to hear her answer. Startled, Kagome wiped away the rest of her tears. Feeling strangely comforted by wolf's words, Kagome headed back to the camp. She fished the Shikon shards from the jar. Back in the final days preceeding Naraku's defeat, Kagome found she could use the individual pieces of the Shikon no Tama to summon forth those who had them as well. She could not control those with the shards like Naraku, but she could beckon them. Usually they came for the other shards in her possession, but with Kouga...
She shook her head and stuffed the Shikon shards back into the jar. This was ridiculous. First Sesshoumaru, then Inuyasha, then Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha again, and now Kouga? What did everyone want from her? She was only one person, especially since Kikyo died after the final battle with Naraku. She could only be in one place at a time!
"Kagome-sama," Miroku started. They had long since packed up dinner. All five had taken an early meal, wanting to relax after a day of walking. At least, three out of the five did. "Where is Inuyasha?"
"I don't know. Somewhere," she sighed. "Somewhere nearby, though. I can feel him."
After a moment of staring blankly at the ground, she felt someone wrap a blanket around her. Surprised, she looked down at Shippou.
"Don't be sad, Kagome," Shippou advised, pulling the blanket tighter. "Inuyasha is a bastard."
Kagome gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Shippou-chan, but I'm okay. Don't worry about me. I just have a lot...a lot going on right now and I'm kind of falling apart." Tears came to her eyes again and she bit her lip, looking away. Why does this have to happen now! Why does this have to blow in my face all at once!
Present
"Where's Kagome!" she heard Inuyasha's voice ring out across the campsite. "I smelled Kouga on my way back here!"
"Kagome-chan's over there," Sango pointed.
Inuyasha nodded and leapt over to Kagome. "Listen, Kagome, I--" he stopped, a puzzled expression marring his features. "I smell Kouga. What the hell have you been up to now! Consorting with Sesshoumaru and now Kouga! Was there something I wasn't invited to!"
"Go away," Kagome said tiredly, tears slipping down her cheeks again.
"No! Kagome, did you mean it when you said you wanted to see me again last year? Were you lying when you said you would stay with me?" he asked her, eyes trained on hers.
He remembers that? Kagome wondered, awed. She didn't answer him though. I want Kouga-kun, she thought desperately. I don't want to deal with Sesshoumaru-kun or Inuyasha for awhile. I wish Kouga-kun was here...
The shards glowed under her high school uniform.
Inuyasha stopped his tirade. "Why are--? Who are you--you're summoning Kouga, aren't you!"
Kouga appeared a few moments later. "Well, I didn't think I'd be back so soon." He took Kagome around the waist. "What's wrong?"
"I choose you."
Inuyasha growled, "What?"
"She chooses me, Inukkuro."
"Kagome!" Inuyasha and Shippou cried.
"Kagome-chan!" Sango gasped.
"Kagome-sama!" Miroku added.
"I choose Kouga-kun."
"Come on, dearest." He grabbed her bag, bicycle, and her and took off.
"KAGOME!"
The remaining four rounded on Inuyasha.
"What did you say to her, you asshole!" Shippou snarled angrily.
"Inuyasha," Sango admonished. "Really! You must have said something horrible to her for her to go to Kouga."
"I told her to go back home," he muttered. "I told her to choose between Sesshoumaru and me. That's all."
Sango choked back a gasp. Miroku, however, smashed Inuyasha over the head with his monk's staff. "Stupid!" he glared at Inuyasha. "Go get her back!"
Inuyasha rubbed his head, glaring back at Miroku. "You heard her! She doesn't want to be around me! She doesn't want to be around us! She wants that fucking wimpy wolf."
Miroku slammed his staff over Inuyasha's head again. "You drove her away. Go and get the Shikon shards, then."
Grumbling, Inuyasha sat by the river, escaping Miroku and his Evil Monk Staff of Doom. "She made her choice," he called over his shoulder. "I asked her to choose, so she chose. I won't," he paused, feeling his voice start to hitch, "I won't force her to come back."
Sango and Miroku exchanged bewildered glances. Apparently, Inuyasha had matured over a year. Not much, but a little. Letting go of Kikyo-sama may have affected him more than he has let on, Miroku observed, and turned the other two back to camp.