Shine On Me

What was she doing?

Meg paced back and forth in the parlor of the Marseille Boarding House, wondering how she could have agreed to see Raoul de Chagny alone for a lunch date. Agreed? She had practically suggested it. Her mother would surely scold her for such boldness, but she had felt some strange connection with Raoul last evening that had precluded her good sense.

Meg chuckled to herself. Were she to be completely honest, she had felt that strange connection for quite sometime now. She was certain it must only be a result of her compassion for him. It couldn't possibly be anything else. She frowned. Perhaps she had found him extremely handsome, and had openly admired him in the brief moments before Christine had confessed their childhood relationship. But Meg had thought of him only as Christine's suitor from that moment forward. And he still was, despite her rejection of him.

Yet Raoul was surprisingly easy to talk to, and he seemed to appreciate Meg's odd sense of humor. Was it so wrong of her to offer her friendship to him? Perhaps chase some of the loneliness from his sad blue eyes. And maybe she might also dispel some of her own loneliness now that Christine had gone.

When Raoul arrived at the boarding house, he was led directly to the parlor where he found Meg. Her face, which had worn a look of bemused contemplation, lit with a happy smile that caused a strange little jump in Raoul's heart. He couldn't recall Christine ever smiling at him in quite that way...free of shadows and doubt. "Good afternoon, Meg. I hope I have not kept you waiting too long."

She laughed good-naturedly. "Of course not. You've arrived just when you promised. I came down a little early so that you would not have to wait too long."

He smiled at her sensibility and offered his arm. "Well then, shall we go?"

"We shall." Meg accepted his arm, and cursed herself a little for the way it made her heart flutter.

Just a friend, Meg. Remember that.

"I thought, perhaps, we might lunch at le Cafe del la Paix. That is, if it you are agreeable?"

"I am. The food is excellent."

They walked in silence a for few moments, a condition that Meg had never been able to maintain for very long. "May I ask how you have been faring these last weeks? Or shall I avoid the subject entirely?"

He chuckled a little. "I suppose it's an unavoidable topic. I dare say I have not had the most enjoyable days recently." He glanced at Meg to see her frowning at him with concern, and he smiled a little more. "But I think that shall be improving in future."

Meg looked at him oddly for a moment before her expression cleared. "I certainly hope so. You deserve happiness, le Vicomte." His title was uttered with a teasing smile, but Raoul could not help thinking how very much he preferred the way Meg said his given name.

"Then you must be certain to see that I have it."

Meg jerked to a stop, looking very surprised. "I must?"

Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly parted…and Raoul suddenly had the strongest urge to kiss her. The very thought startled him, causing a frown to mar his features. Meg must have misinterpreted his frown, because her own full pink lips had tilted down.

No, we can't have that! Not at all.

He attempted a teasing tone, but found that his words were completely sincere. "Yes, you must. I find myself constantly laughing when I am with you."

Something very close to disappointment weighed on Meg's heart at his words. Of course, she was to be the comic relief.

What did you think, Meg?

She forced a smile. "Well then, I will try not to disappoint."

Raoul saw the little flicker of sadness in Meg's eyes before it disappeared with a bright smile.

Idiot! You are overstepping your welcome in her life! She is humoring you, yes, but she has no desire to be responsible for your happiness. She only feels sorry for you!

No,that could not be all. Raoul felt certain that Meg enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed hers. He only needed to be more considerate of her. He should be making her smile more often. Yes, Meg's smile was certainly a prize to be sought. His next words slipped out without conscious thought. "Meg, my dear, you could never disappoint."

Her cheeks turned pink again at his quiet declaration, and her eyes darted away from his. For once, he'd rendered her speechless. His grin was completely beyond his control.

As they continued to walk toward the café, Meg was certain she was in serious peril of forgetting that Raoul was only to be her friend

He is in love with Christine. Do not forget.

Unfortunately, her heart wasn't listening.

xXx

For the better part of their lunch, Meg entertained Raoul with comical little stories of the theater. His easy laughter made her feel somehow important, as though she had a special power to distract him from his sadness. But eventually, the conversation turned more serious, as the subject they'd been avoiding was finally broached.

And by Meg's own thoughtlessness, no less. She had only just finished telling Raoul of her mother's scolding of two of the younger dancers at the theater for a joke they had played on Yvette. He had been laughing earnestly, when Meg had unthinkingly related it to a similar incident that she and Christine had once engaged in at the Opera.

Raoul's smile had immediately disappeared, and Meg cursed herself. "Forgive me, Raoul. I wasn't thinking."

He forced a small smile. "You have nothing to apologize for, Meg. Christine is as much a part of your memories as mine."

"But your memories are far more painful, I fear."

"Not all of them." He looked into her blue eyes, noticing the worry in them, and he reached for her hand. "You don't need to choose your words so carefully, Meg. Her name does not bring the pain it once did."

Meg looked briefly down at the table, and when she spoke, her voice was quiet. "B-but, you love her still."

He sighed. "I will not deny it. I think in some ways, I shall always love Christine. But I am finally beginning to believe that her choice was perhaps best for everyone."

That brought Meg's startled gaze to his. "You are?"

He sighed. He had already revealed so much to her, why should he not reveal it all? "When Christine first told me of her Angel of Music, I thought it only a child's fantasy. In that thinking, it was easy to ignore the light in her eyes when she spoke of him…the tenderness in her voice…the…love in her very expression." He gave a short laugh of disdain. "And then, at the discovery that her angel was flesh and blood, fear replaced those tender emotions." Raoul shook his head sadly. "But nothing could destroy them. I simply refused to acknowledge the truth of her feelings. In my arrogance, I was certain that no sane woman could ever willingly choose that creature. Even in her freedom she clung to him. I thought that allowing her to return to Paris might finally grant her closure, and it did. Only not in the way I had hoped. I knew she had chosen him when she could not marry me as she agreed. I should have accepted it then. But when weeks had passed and Christine remained unattached, performing again on stage and still no sign of the infamous Phantom, I began to hope that I might have been wrong. That she might… " He forced another smile for Meg. "But you well know how the story ends." Meg looked away guiltily. Raoul released her hand and sat back against his chair as he continued. "And it would seem Christine's mysterious departure has added a new twist to the tale."

Meg met his eyes warily. "Has it?"

She knew full well the stories that all of Paris were whispering now.

He nodded. "Mmm…yes. A black coach in a dark alley , a shadowy masked figure, a secret elopement. Apparently, the Phantom has suddenly become a romantic hero. The beast finally winning the heart of his beauty. All his misdeeds forgiven in the name of love."

Raoul watched Meg's color rise. "They are only stories, Raoul."

"Tell me, Meg. Was it the mask, do you think?"

"Ex-excuse me?"

"The mask? The mystery behind it? I understand that some women are quite drawn to that sort of thing. The danger of it." He smiled blandly. "Perhaps I should get one? A fine cloak too. I might even win the girl in the end."

Meg gawked at him. Was he serious? "I…you…you've no need …of such things."

Raoul knew he should not be testing Meg in such a way, but he found he could not help himself. "Would you have chosen the Phantom, Meg, had he set his sights on you?"

She stiffened in her chair. "I can hardly answer that, Raoul! I have never even had a suitor, for goodness sake, let alone been the object of such a passionate obsession!"

Raoul leaned forward again, his eyes intent on Meg. "Is that what it was…a passionate obsession? Or was it more?"

He needed to know. "Was it love, Meg?"

She turned her head again, seemingly fighting some battle within herself. Then she met his eyes again. "I believe…it is…love. On both sides."

Raoul didn't fail to notice her use of the present tense, and he slumped back in his chair in defeat, and perhaps…relief. "As it should be, I suppose."

"Raoul…when it is…true…real…like that…the emotion cannot be denied. You will find that one day. A true and passionate love…just as you deserve."

He stared at her in silence for a moment. She had used the exact words he had repeated to himself countless times. True and passionate. Yes, he wanted that. A woman who would be willing to give up everything for him. To be his completely. Christine had not been that woman. He had never owned all of her heart.

But had she owned mine? Does she still? Or is she even now relinquishing her hold on me?

"One day." He murmured. "Perhaps."

And perhaps I might be lucky enough to find a woman who will smile at me the way…

Meg smiled at him a little, shaking her head. "Not perhaps, Raoul. Believe me, some women do still prefer the handsome prince."

He raised a brow, a strange little bit of mischief suddenly fluttering about within him. "Do you, Meg?"

She blushed slightly, but recovered quickly with a wink and a grin. "I…good sir…prefer to dance."

Raoul laughed a little at her imperious tone. "Well then, fair lady, I will be envious of whatever partner you choose."

Meg's smile trembled a bit, her eyes sparkled and that pretty blush was deepening. And Raoul realized that strange flutter was settling around the area of his heart.

...not bad for a first date. More story to follow... Stay tuned.