Title: Behind Closed Doors, Or Not
Rating: G or K or whatever the equivalent is.
Summary: Let's see what chapter are we on know? Well the summary for the chapter you don't know yet so go to that next.
Chapter Summary: Don't normally do this, but I want to so I am. Obi-Wan and his friends plan to get Qui-Gon back for the spiders. All they needed was a psychology book.
Disclaimer: I don't own JA or SW
A/N: ummm….oh right…cookies for those who reviewed (hot fresh ones for the first two reviewers: A.Nu.Evil and DarkSamurai. Nothing for those who didn't.
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"This is going to be awesome," Garen said as he rifled through the pages of a huge book.
"Let me see that psychology book Garen," said Bant. Garen handed it to her and she began rummage through the pages. "This chapter has a whole A to Z list of phobias, maybe I should try one of those."
"What's the first one?" Obi-Wan asked innocently.
"Ablutophobia, a fear of washing of bathing."
Obi-Wan grinned at Bant.
"No way. I am not going to not wash and bathe for goodness knows how long," she replied adamantly.
"She's right," said Reeft. "It would take far too long to get her to smell right," he said ducking a pillow being thrown at him. "What?"
"There's Aulophobia, fear of flutes," Bant continued.
"That would be quite interesting," Obi-Wan said. "It would also be the perfect plan because there are just so many flutes running around." He ducked a pillow being thrown at him.
"Hey!" a new voice shouted. "Are we having a pillow fight?"
The group quickly struggled to hide the book from the person entering the room. When they saw who it was they let out a sigh of relief.
"It's only Mace," Obi-Wan said.
"What do you mean it's only me?" the dark-skinned Jedi asked sullenly.
"Sorry Mace, we thought it was someone else," Bant said quickly.
"Why…what are you five up to?"
"Now that you asked, we need your help to pull this off. Think about Master Qui-Gon's latest prank on you?"
Qui-Gon had recently dyed all of Mace's Jedi robes hot pink, and in fact, he didn't stop there. He dyed all of Mace's clothes a bright hot pink including his favorite pair of fuzzy pajamas. Mace Windu, a respected Jedi Master, had gone into the council room wearing hot pink robes.
"Whatever you're planning against Qui-Gon I'm in."
"That's great! We're planning to take over the whole Jedi Council, and then were going to make them listen to my master sing while he's wearing his pajamas, the ones with the little feet attached," Obi-Wan said in a rush.
"Qui-Gon has pajamas with feet attached? And you're going to do what?" Mace exclaimed.
"Relax, we're just kidding," Garen said.
"Maybe," Obi-Wan answered passively.
"We," began Bant, "are going to choose some sort of disorder from this psychology book and you are going to recommend us to Qui-Gon for help."
"You five don't need to find one, you already have one," Mace muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Nothing!" Mace yelled quickly.
"Okay, now that we're all agreed we should get to work," Obi-Wan said.
"How about a fear of bunny rabbits?" Bant asked.
Mace looked up at the ceiling and raised his hands. "Force help us all," he said quietly.
"Okay, so Bant will be afraid of rabbits," Obi-Wan began.
"Bunny rabbits," Bant corrected.
"Why cant you just say bunny or rabbit?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Because you call it a bunny rabbit!"
"And they need a psychology book," Mace muttered again.
Not one of them heard Mace.
"Is this your phobia starting already?" Reeft asked.
"A phobia is a fear of something, she wouldn't be this adamant about 'bunny rabbit' if she was afraid of them," Garen said informatively.
"I know that!" Reeft said.
"Definitely don't need a book," Mace muttered again.
"Zemmiphobia, fear of the great mole rat," Garen spoke aloud as he held the book in his hand.
"Choose one already will you!"
"Bunny rabbit! What about great mole rats?"
So this is why Qui-Gon leaves whenever they get together, Mace said to himself.
"Okay, we figured out what Bant is going to do, now what about the rest of us?" Reeft spoke loudly.
"We could have Reeft being afraid of not eating food, like he thinks that the food is proud to be eaten or something," Obi-Wan suggested.
"Now where would you get that idea?" Bant asked.
"From an English muffin," he said seriously.
Not one single person in the room could tell if he was serious or not.
"Sooo, I'm going to believe that food is proud to be eaten?" Reeft asked. "That sounds good to me," he continued.
"Let's see," Mace began. "Bant is going to be afraid of bunnies,"
"Bunny rabbits."
"And Garen is going to believe that food is proud to be eaten," he finished, ignoring Bant. And for some strange reason Obi-Wan seems very serious on this English muffin thing.
"Now for Garen and Obi-Wan," Reeft said.
"Panophobia, fear of everything," came Bant's voice.
"Yeah, that's why we always jump in fear over everything that we see, hear, taste, or smell. There is no way that he would buy into that," Obi-Wan shot back.
"I thought it sounded like a good idea," said Reeft.
Mace then sat down on one of the couches his head in his hands. None of the five noticed.
"Phobophobia, fear of phobias," Obi-Wan suggested.
"And you thought Panophobia was bad," Bant muttered under her breath.
"Because it was!" Obi-Wan shouted.
"Well…so was yours!" Bant shouted back.
"Well I sure as heck wont have a problem recommending any of them to a mind healer," Mace said under his breath.
"What if Garen had an invisible friend?" Reeft suggested.
"Yes!" shouted Garen. "His name will be Ben, and he has, he will be about my size, he's a green twilek and he always wears, I mean he will wear blue Jedi robes all the time."
"Garen," began Reeft. "You do know that you are making this up, right?"
"Oh…yeah of course," Garen said his eyes dimmed as he spoke.
"Okay…" said Bant, risking a glance at Garen. "Now for Obi-Wan."
"Well, he already seems to have a strange thing with English muffins," Mace suggested.
"That's perfect! He'll have a weird obsession with English muffins," Bant shouted jumping into the air.
"Don't I get a say in this?" Obi-Wan asked accusingly.
"Of course you don't."
"Well, he'll certainly believe that one, after what happened with the last muffin I ate," he muttered.
Everyone chose to stay silent on that one.
"Well are we agreed on this?" Mace asked standing up.
"On what?" Reeft asked.
Mace turned purple has he looked over at the dresselian. Anyone could tell that he was counting to ten.
"On the fact that Bant is afraid of bunny rabbits, Reeft believes that food is proud to be eaten, Garen has an invisible friend, and Obi-Wan has an obsession with English muffins!" Mace nearly shouted.
"Oh that," Reeft said. "I agree!"
"What are we agreeing on again?" Obi-Wan asked.
No one in the room could save Obi-Wan from the death glare he was receiving from the Jedi Master.
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A/N: Now, I worked very hard on this chapter and I have a little over a hundred hits on my last chapter. I would very much like to know if you are enjoying my story or if you have any comments or critique.
Snacks for those who review! Tell me what you want in your review and I'll give you them!