Title: Behind Closed Doors, Or Not
Rating: G
Chapter Summary: The plan in action, their finest actions ever achieved in the revenge against Master Qui-Gon Jinn.
Disclaimer: Do you see green in my hand? Nope (sigh) I don't own any SW or JA characters. I only own the plot.
A/N: This is likely to be the last chapter in this story, however I will post the Obi-Wan and the English Muffin story, and it will be rather short. And now on to the story.
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Jedi healer, Winna Di Yuni, had never been more surprised in her life. Not once had someone asked her if she would help out a prank on the stoic Jedi Master, Qui-Gon Jinn; years ago, the mere possibility of something like this being played out on him, was unthinkable. When Obi-Wan asked she grudgingly agreed.
She hated innocent faces, the one on Obi-Wan's had been priceless, a moment that if it had been possible she would have captured onto a holovid to hang on her wall. Right now, as amazing as it had been, she was now walking to Qui-Gon's room because of that stupid innocent face.
"Master Jinn!" she exclaimed as she walked right into him; having been so absorbed in her own thoughts. "I was looking for you, one of the mind healers sent me." She inwardly cursed herself; Jedi weren't supposed to lie, and yet here she was. I hate innocent faces.
However, the look of fear, however much of a fleeting glance it was, was unmistakable. Never before had she seen such a look of dread upon the Master; she wondered how many more gray hairs Obi-Wan had given him.
"Why would I need to see a mind healer?" he asked keeping his face as serene as possible.
"Not you," she said quickly as she eyed the visible relaxation in his face and posture. "The mind healers need a volunteer to watch a few padawans in a less hostile environment; preferably no mind healers trying to shrink them and just a Master who will listen."
"No." It was the flattest, quickest, and most demanding no that Winna Di Yuni had heard all day, but perhaps the fact that she had only talked to Obi-Wan that day, would go into account.
"Too bad, we already volunteered you. Come with me," she said grabbing his hand and dragging him along. I am going to be in so much trouble for this, she thought as she cursed Obi-Wan and his innocent little face.
Qui-Gon soon caught up with Winna, so he could get his hand free, but before he could Mace walked by and saw.
"I'm hurt, Qui!" and as he walked past he winked at Qui-Gon who quickly shed his hand from Winna's.
He was led into a room with a desk and a chair on either side. There was nothing more.
"The room is virtually empty just in case one of them go into a fit, which may be likely to happen."
"Wonderful," Qui-Gon muttered.
"What was that?" Winna asked sweetly.
"Nothing," he muttered just a bit louder.
"So your first padawan will be Garen Muln."
Qui-Gon barely raised an eyebrow. Winna left and closed the door behind her.
"You first Garen," she said as she walked through the padawans. Garen grinned and entered the room.
---------------------------------------------------------------------The Room
"Good Morning Garen," Qui-Gon said.
Garen looked at him indignantly. "Well?"
The Jedi master had a perplexed look on his face.
"Aren't you going to say hi to Ben?"
Qui-Gon looked around the room and spotting no one looked at Garen.
"For goodness sakes he's wearing bright blue today!"
"I'm sorry Garen, but I do not see him."
"Why must you people be all so blind?" he said out loud, more to the ceiling than to Qui-Gon. He turned to his right, "Force, I don't know why, I mean, you could wear yellow and no one would notice you. It's a good thing you got me around to talk to."
Qui-Gon rubbed his forehead. It was going to be a long day.
"So is Ben human?" he asked, knowing that Ben was a more common name among humans.
"Of course not! He's a green-skinned twilek who always wears a certain shade of blue jedi robes. He's my best friend!"
"Now, I thought Obi-Wan was your best friend?"
"He's my best solid friend," Garen stated.
"So, Ben isn't a solid best friend?"
"Well duh! He can walk through things especially dirty dishes…I think he likes to absorb the food, likes the rotting taste better. You know, I've never asked why…"
"You know Garen, I think times up, why don't you send the next padawan in."
"Come on Ben, we cant stay here all day. Yes I know you like Master Jinn, but I think you might be going just a little overboard," Garen walked out, and moments later Reeft walked in.
"Good Morning Reeft," he said. It's not even ten o'clock yet…
Before he was ready to reply, the door opened and Garen came walking in again.
"Ben! I told you a million times not to look at Qui-Gon like that; it's rude and inappropriate!" He walked out shaking his head resignedly.
"What are you here for?"
"I cannot not eat food."
"Why?" The Jedi Master's question was full heartedly sincere. These were his padawan's best friends that he was finding.
"Because, it would be undignified for them if they were not eaten. It is like a blow to their pride every time they are thrown away! Meat, dairy, vegetables, fruit, and breads, and much much more are thrown away everyday, and their souls die off of broken pride!"
"You are saying that you eat food because of what? I think I missed that."
Reeft repeated his rant once again as Qui-Gon put his head in his hands. "And so, food is proud to be eaten! So never be afraid to eat when food comes!"
"Well, Garen, I think that that is quite enough. You may go."
As he left, Winna walked back into the room.
"Oh please am I done?"
"Of course not you got more of them to go, so anyway, the next one is Bant Erin and you will need these note cards."
Qui-Gon looked at the cards, one had bunny written on it, one had rabbit written on it, and one had bunny rabbit written on it.
"Bant has a fear of bunny rabbits on it, so you are to have her look at the cards and gauge her reactions.
"Is that all?"
"Yes, and when you are done with that, you may send her out."
At least this would be quick, he thought as Winna left and Bant entered.
"Hello Bant."
"Hello Master Jinn," she said.
Well she couldn't be too bad; she actually exchanged pleasant conversation with him. However, she hadn't seen the note cards yet. Qui-Gon held up at random the first card with the word bunny on it.
She was silent. Qui-Gon looked at the card and looked at Bant; of whom looked like she was itching to say something, but decided against it.
He held up the next card, 'Bunny Rabbit' was printed on it.
She harshly drew in her breath and started shaking her head. "NextcardnextcardpleasepleaseNEXTCARD!"
Qui-Gon quickly turned over the card to calm Bant down, unfortunately for the both of them, Bant let out a scream as she stood up and knocked her chair over and left the room; still screaming.
-------------------------------meanwhile---------------------
"You know, I think you may just have a fear of bunnies after all," Obi-Wan said after Bant had stopped screaming.
"Bunny rabbits, and no I do not have a fear of them," she projected calmly.
Obi-Wan looked at her funny and decided not to say anything. "Well, it's almost my turn."
"It is your turn. Your Master is right, you do need to be more in touch with the living force," Garen said.
"So says the one with the invisible friend," Obi-Wan retorted.
"HEY! How did you know? You can see him?"
-------------Back in the room------
Winna could see the relief in the Jedi Master's eyes as she walked through the door.
"Are we done yet?"
"You sound like an impatient initiate, and no, you are not."
"But they're insane!"
"Why, Master Jinn, do you think they go to the mind healers?" Winna said an in impatiently sounding voice. This was good Kenobi, but I'm in way deep.
"How many more?"
"Just one; Obi-Wan Kenobi, and that's why I came in. You will not speak to him about his relationship from you, but just as you did with Bant, you will show him these note cards and watch his reactions, that is all. Explaining can all be done later, outside of this room."
"Not more note cards…"he hoped that Obi-Wan didn't have the same strange fear that Bant had.
As she left Obi-Wan walked in and sat down quietly.
"Good Morning Obi-Wan," he said.
"Good Morning Master Jinn," Obi-Wan replied.
Qui-Gon took the first card and put his head in his hands when he saw the first word printed in neat bold words. 'Bunny Rabbit.' He held the card up and was relieved when he saw that Obi-Wan displayed no emotion or reaction to the card at all.
He held the second card up, which much to his confusion, was a teenager eating an English muffin.
Obi-Wan smiled slightly at that. "You go, rock on English muffin."
Somewhat disturbed, Qui-Gon put the card down and picked up the last one, which was an English muffin being thrown in the garbage.
His padawan's face fell significantly and muttered about 'stupid, uncaring, people.'
"That will be all Padawan Kenobi."
He left and joined his friends outside the room. Winna came back in.
"Painkiller, tranquilizer, anything please!" he begged.
"Begging is unbefitting for a Jedi," Winna stated.
"I am living with a bunch of LUNATICS AND NUTCASES! AND THEY LIVE RIGHT IN THE TEMPLE! And you, ARE TALKING TO ME ABOUT WHAT IS UNBEFFITTING FOR A JEDI!"
"That had nothing to do with me," Winna said defensively.
"Please tell me, why am I surrounded by lunatics and nutcases?"
"You know, technically lunatics and nutcases are the same thing, even though both are incorrect terms, we prefer mentally ill," spoke Garen.
"Well you have an invisible friend," Bant said, "I don't believe he is going to take your advice."
"It was more of counseling than it was advice," Obi-Wan said.
"And you have a strange thing going on with English muffins!" Bant nearly shouted.
"Coming from the one who sees some difference between bunny, bunny rabbit, and bunny!" Reeft yelled at Bant.
"That's so much stranger than believing food is proud to be eaten," she retorted.
"Hey!" came two voices, one sounding suspiciously like Obi-Wan.
"Well I think we have made Master Jinn suffer enough. You might want to tell him now," Winna told the padawans.
"Tell. Me. What." It was phrased as a command, not as a question.
Winna laughed nervously under Qui-Gon's fierce glare and pointing at the padawans and as Qui-Gon turned she ran down the hall, nearly running over Yoda as he made his way to the group.
"Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan shouted, "We wanted only to test Master Qui-Gon's patience with a slight joke about how we are mentally ill, and see how long it would take and after, Garen, Reeft, Bant, and myself, he lost all patience."
Yoda looked up at Obi-Wan with a hint of glee in his eyes. "Come with me, your master will, meditate for hours we shall, reflect on the virtues of patience, and visit a mental hospital we shall also. To the Gardens you will go Master Qui-Gon, right behind you I will be."
As soon as Qui-Gon was out of earshot Yoda spoke again. "Commend you four, I do. Test the patience of Qui-Gon you did, without knowing, listened to the force you did. Still, wonder I do, if you all are in need of help."
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A/N: well that's all. The English Muffin story will be posted in some time, and although it wasn't my favorite chapter, it was my favorite ending of a chapter.
Please review, I would like to know if you liked it or if you didn't.
Thank you for all who REVIEWED! And for DarkSamurai, because w/out him urging me to write something funny, this story would have never been posted, and I left fuzzy pajamas in this chap too, sighs.
THE END