I would like to thank all the reveiwers for their sweet comments. Especially EriksDarkLullaby. She is my inspiration sometimes, really. Now to answer soem questions, or answer some of my reviewers back.
Paige: I am glad you like this. I am not too into AU myself, in Poto's case. And I abhor Mary Sues, no matter what the category. If you have only seen the ALW movie, I should have made it clear at the beginning of the story. Nadir is from the Susan Kay book ,Phantom. He is based on Leroux's character, The Persian. I happen to be in love with him currently. The fighting between Erik and Christine IS their relationship, at present.
Yoya: Yes, It grossed me out too. But I was in a very bad mood. To tell you a secret, I write these things blind. Plot outlines are for pussies, lol. I go with my flow, and it makes the story far less forced sounding. I do not know if they will 'fuck'. I haven't decided yet.
The Century Child: Thank you, and yes I will count your review for all my chapters, as it was very flattering, lol. And yes, Erik's last name may have been inspired by the Countesses. Actually, a plan to use a song with a title similar to his last name sometime soon. When the plot thickens.
Kagome1514: I am glad you remember me now , heh! And yes, I have been staving off of Inu fics because they are platry, and have no original plot anymore. Sigh.Thank you for correcting my japanese. I am definitely not the best at it. I probably will email you soon, once my legs stop shaking. After all you are one of my favorite authors!
Erik'sTrueAngel: I thought it would be better, to keep the retearded fop from certain death. Raoul annoys me. Nadir though, seems a healthy candidate for Christine's affection. Ahh, I can see it now. A shirt with 'Nadir is for Lovers'. Yay.
Erik'sDarkLullaby: I eagerly await your next review! I am glad you approve of Nadir. So few people actually think of him as a love interest for Christine, but like you pointed out, why would be go through so much to save her if there weren't feelings involved? And yes, we both seem to have a very dark current of thought. But the unique thing is that we seem to find beauty in it. I am glad I am not the only odd one. Oh! The Helena music video is on. One moment... It reminds me of the Nightmare Before Christmas. I love that movie, lol. Sorry for the rambling, doves. Oh, and to Ripper De La Blackstaff, and the other's on my alert list, thank you for being interested even if you don't review. It touches me to know you think highly enough of this story to want to read it continuously.
Now, on with the show.
Noises
Christine let the rapping of the boy's pencil distract her, and that should have been her first clue. Then it started. She could hear Meg Giry humming the tune to some new song, even though she was cross the room. Someone was chewing gum. Another was whispering rather loudly.
She felt the familiar dizziness that accompanied this, and immediately stood. Usually a perfectly shot glare in their general direction would get them to stop, but she wasn't in the mood. Ever since Erik had threatened Naidr, she had felt both angry, and worried. After all, she knew nothing about Erik, besides that he was rich, bitchy at times, and a excellent musician. Nadir, even though he had pushed her away, as a much nicer man then anyone knew.
She asked for a pass to the nurses, rushing out of the room, hearing the distinct buzz of her headache grinding through her skull.. It happened occasionally, as the doctors said.Her hearing improving to the point where listening actually hurt. She thought she heard the drone of her teacher, even though her paces told her she was at the end of their hallway.
She made her way, schooling her eyes into a position where she didn't look like she was staring into space. It was common, for people who didn't see her with her cane, to assume she wasn't visually impaired. After all, she didn't let her handicap shallow her personality. Most people whispered things, things about her not caring. She cared about seeing, how could she not? She thought about the rock garden, The oceans she had visited with her mother and father, before life went wrong.
She closed her eyes, as a memory shocked through her, the words making her haed pound . She felt like someone was hammering her skull in.
It was dark in the room, Christine haveing just awoken. She tugged at her restraints, trying in vain to get loose. She thought she heard a distorted chuckle from the other side of the room, as she gasped. She had brushed a painfully sore rib against her bindings.
" So, awake, my little diva? I had thought you weaker then that. After all, those smarmy little school-boys broke a rib or two. Good thing you are still intact, or else you would have a few friends joining you tongiht."
" Who the fuck are you! If this is some sick joke, it isn't funny! Let me go damn it"
She felt a sharp slap to the face, licking the blood from her lip. She tensed when a hand slid up her leg, slowly travelling agaisnt her hip. Suddenly, she felt pain, and a slight tinge of arousal fill her. He had damn near twisted her nipple off.
The man took a handful of hair, tugging her head back. It was absolutely dark in the cold place, she thought. She fouht quickly though, when she felt him strap her neck down. That's what this was.. a torture chamber. Or so it seemed. She shook like a frightened fawn, as she felt something being placed over her nose and mouth.
" Calm yourself, love. It is for your protection, I promise it will come off when I'm done. Now, I must ask you a question. No, don't cry. Now, which you you prefer, eyes, or voice"
He had sounded almost caring, as he poured the burning substance into her eyes. She could feel the black become permanent, fusing her with the darkness she claimed to love so much.
Her screams echoed from the chamber. Too bad nobody was there to hear .
She awoke screaming, running her hands along her eyes and face. Flailing her arms about, she made sure she wasn't bound, before getting her bearings. She heard nothing, but soft violin music. Erik's. someone must have found her, and called her guardian. She checked, making sure her clothing was in perfectly arranged, and soothed out her curls.
She found herself in the music room, listening to the restless tune he was playing. She sat down on the floor, feeling her way down the wall, letting herself get comfortable. He would ask her eventually. Best to wait for it, after all, she got a few concert out of the deal. Smelling the air, it reeked of pinesol. Someone had taken the liberty of cleanign the dust from the paino. Bleh. She thought she was gonna die from the reek.
He finished the last note, savoring the sharp, yet still melodious note, before speaking to the girl. " How is it you have only been in school three weeks and already you have been sent home? You weren't stabbing people again, I hope? After all, there are only so many times you can do that and still have it deemed self defense."
Christine chuckled, a sarcastic twang in it." No, oh dear Maestro. It was just another headache." She fiddled with her fings, trying to see if her nail polish had chipped during the day.
"There is something you are not speaking of, Christine. It was a blackout too, wasn't it?"
She shrugged, scratching her left temple." So what if it was. It wasn't as bad as before. Maybe if someone didn't go around spying on me it would not have happened."
She swore she heard his nails dig into the wood of the violin, as it clattered to a small table. He took a seat in the chair across the room. " Well, if certain faculty members were respectible enough to keep their hands off of students, I would not have had to spy, as you so rudely deem it. "
She got to her feet, making an indecipherable noise under her breathe. " What do you call it then, you asshole!"
She heard his legs against the floor, as he approached." I call it looking out for your best interests. After all, someone has to."
She swung an arm out before touching her chest." I can take care of myself! I'm not some little mouse, no matter what you think! I have managed just fine, and I am fine! I won't let you or anyone else take that away! I'm still me! Damn you! I'm still Christine!"
She tried to run, only to find her feet twist under her. She had, in her hurry, lost her way. She struggled to get to her feet, feeling a sinking hatred fill her chest. She couldn't see what was up or down, she didn't know! She stretched ou her arms, trying to find an anchor, something to stop te panic in her.
Erik watched as the girl ran, tripping in the hallway. She seemed frightened, her glossy eyes wide, as she stumbled around, not being to close to anything. She had lost herself to her handicap, for the first time since the hospital. Erik could see the repressed teror she had held within her, as she knocked into the walls, falling to the floor again. She sobbed in releif. She had found a hard surface.
Letting her breathing slow. she finally felt the spinning, airless anguish fill her stomach. It was a familiar depression. It was felt every mornig, when the birds sang to a new day, and she was left in the midnight. Every night, when she would be almost asleep, and feel so alone that it nearly killed her. Before, it had been so different. She didn't want anything, just solitude. Now, all she needed was someone to describe a sunset for her.
It felt like something had torn her soul from her abdomn, and replaced it with an empty, gaping maw. She picked herself up from the floor, forgetting Erik in her haste to return to her room. She found her way, her legs about to give out as she jumped on the bed.
She laid back, letting herself think. That was another thing about being blind, she supposed. She didn't know when she slept, or if she slept at all. She couldn't even feel the urge to sing, as she cloded her eyes, letting herself be overtaken my her pain.
She was in Poetry the next day, scribbling away. Assignment: Write a poem about something that makes you angry. That was easy enough. She stood when called, her movements crisp and hurried. She looked into the eyes of her audience. Well, what she saw was a big black blur. But she knew they were there. And she read.
"I am just another fool,
And I have to,
Keep telling myself that.
I am just a hypocrite,
And I have to, Keep calling you one.
And I forgot to bite my tongue,
As my assumption,
Is the mother of all mistakes.
So I assume the role,
Open my mouth, And clumsy words escape.
So why you, wanna to be there, when you could be here,
you are slipping away.
I awake with your replacement, a bottle in my grasp,
in an unfamiliar place.
Because you put me out,
The butt of a sick joke,
into this ashtray life.
As you come and go,
Cause I forgot to service you,
And we broke down."
She remembered her mother's face that day, the rain pouring over them both. It had been beautiful, even though it had torn out the woman's heart.
"And you can't live with my mistakes, but I assume false grace.
Open my arms and grasp at something true.
I bring out the worst in you, and you try to let me know.
You bring out the worst in me, Anxiety, anxiety.
I'm trying to let you go,
You say I'm giving you the creeps.
So I assume the role,
open my claws and grasp for your heart
Into you like a mortal stake, so vindictive"
She heard them in her head. Her father's violin, as well as Eriks'. The two men who had been able to tear down the walls she carried around her. Her father, with his presence. Erik, by beating them down, ripping her security blanket from her, and throwing her away, like garbage.
"Your love's slipping away.
Violins, into this ashtray life.
Violins, the butt of your sick joke.
Violins, I'm trying hard to let you go.
Violins.."
She walked to the car. He had chosen a parking spot to frequent. She would be able to find him, and not just twiddle her thumbs like an idiot till he arrived. Or so he had said. She opened the car door, leaning back against the seats, as she sighed. Things were going to be tense, she knew.She heard him start the car, but just as he was about to pull out, someone called her name.
Turning her head, as if she could determine their presence, she smiled. Meg Giry. Orange blossoms . She asked the girl what she needed, surpised when she felt a rectangular object pushed into her hands.
" It's your poetry notebook. You forgot it when you left. guess you must have been thinking really hard." The girl paused for a moment, seeming shy, before speaking so fast Christine was sure even Erik hadn't caught up.
"Um, care to repeat that, Meg"
She could almost smell the girls fear rolling off of her. " Would you.. would you like to come over for my birthday? It's in a few weeks, and.. well.. Your the only one who has never stared, you know." Christine felt the sadness in her voice. Of course. She had no friends, just like Christine had none. They were too unique for that, she supposed. tugging on a dirt clored lock, she smiled, trying to keep it from clashing with her eyes, and making her look like a serial killer. " I would like that. After all, if we celebrated in public, they might just lock us in a cage and charge everyone for admission."
Christine was surprised to hear the Giry girl laugh at this. Meg thanked her, and handed her a paper with the address of her home. They hit the highway, probably the only road in the world that was five laned in the town. Two went one way, two the other. The middle was reserved for turns. They tended to call it the Suicide Lane.
" It is nice to see that your sour personality hasn't kept away all possible company." Erik remarked casually, as he tried to keep them from being turned into road sushi. He was trying to calm the waters between them. Not happening.
"Yes, after all, I wouldn't want to be like you, now would I?" She turned her face away from him, forgetting the notebook. He grabbed it from the car, letting her tromp off into her bedroom. She was very sulky lately, after her little panic attack.
He settled in a comfortable chair, flipping open the book. He had taught her braille after all, he sould know how to read it. His amber eyes widened, twin pools of honey, as he read the passionate pleas she screamed. With every word on the pages he read, she yearned for human touch. Human compassion.
He flipped through dozens of blank pages, until he saw that on the back cover, she had written another. It Read:
Last Year's Nest.
Discontent as life is,our mechanism's deviate.
Rust debrided inspires change,and leaves behind exhausted dreams- Ignition Engaged.
So save your wishes for the sky, diluted and disgused, as a perfect fuel that won't ignite.
But hope will heal us all.
Set to action our forward thought,
The truth for so long can only hide.
In shadows of our own design-Amend and Revise.
A wish will leave you empty handed -Hope will Provide.
Shun your responsibilities-And Lead an Empty Life.
A dream alone will bear no seed-Hope is Alive.
And wishes will leave you.
Dead and Buried.
Lost and Forgotten.
With your Lives.
He let the notebook hit the floor as he rushed away. He needed to get away from the girl. She was inspiring emotions in him he couldn't afford, not with the mission so close. it hovered on the edge of a knife.
He couldn't let her interfere. The towers would come down on schedule. Not even she could stop that.
Nadir watched, as Christine and Reza spoke about a song. His son ad taken quite the shine to the girl, both of them teaching the other about playing tactics. He had decided to speak with her, to apoligize for forcing himself on her He decided to let them finish though. He loved the sound of her voice.
"Part of me won't go away,
Everyday reminded how much I hate it.
Weighted against the consequences .
Can't live without it ,so it's senseless.
Wanna cut it out of my soul,
And just live with a gaping hole.
Take control of my life,
And wash out all the burnt taste.
I made the problems in the first place.
Hang my head low 'cause it's part of me,
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me.
Heard of me the routine scar.
New cuts cover where the old ones are.
And now I'm sick of this.
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grate away on my sanity.
I rather not even be then the person that's staring in the mirror through me.
Cut myself free willingly. Stop just what's killing me .
I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way.
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside.
Swallowing me.
It can't be frightening if you've never felt it.
Once it's been dealt with you feel like you've been touched by something angelic.
And then melted down into a pool of peace,
Cease to be the animal you used to be.
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong.
And feel the karma when the problem's all gone.
And then you start to see another piece of yourself that you can't let be,
And that reason'll last fight to free yourself.
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well.
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart,
Where your insides bruise.
You can live if you're willing to,
Put a stop to just what's killing you.
Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently .
This part of me won't go away, part of me won't go away.
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone aught to be.
Every time I see myself I see there's always something wrong with me.
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me ."
They let the tune take them over. Christine had shown him the words and basic rythme and allowed Reza to tweak it. The bell signalled their departure, Christine throwing her pack over her arm, as she ran face first into Nadir Khan's chest. " I seem to run into you alot less now that you kissed me. I'm sorry if I offended you"
She brushed past him, feeling the skin on his arm get goosebumps. A smile smile flared on her face, as she exited the classroom. He was at her heels, trying to speak with her. She opened a door, pushing him into a dimly lit hall closet. She squeezed in, pressing against him. He bit his lip to keep himself from groaning.
"What do you want, Nadir? Because the last time I checked, you were pushing me away, and babbling about apoligies. I have no regrets. After all, I only kiss people I am attracted to." She crossed her arms, as though that mad eher case very clear.
Nadir looked at her, here, in the dim. Her hair flowing around her, tight cloths, and beautiful, moonlight-like eyes.Eyes that wouldn't judge him. She licked her lips, a act of nerves, most likely. He felt himself give in, pushing her against the dusty wall.
She wrapped her hips around his, giving him herself in the kiss. The forbidden, wrong, perfect kiss.
Sorry guys, had to do that. Again, it is essential to the plot. And yes, what happened in the closet was NC-17. Read and Reveiw.-Krys