Chapter 2: Steve
A/N: Well, this chapter will suck.
Steve walked outside and was the worst character ever, the end.
Chapter 2: Not Steve, but King
A/N: Haha, tricked you. That wasn't the real chapter. I'm just too lazy to do a chapter on Steve, because then I'd have to research his character. So now, here's the new chapter for you!
After successfully pummeling yet another random wrestler guy dude, King went home tocontemplate his job. "I should really contemplate my job." King said, sitting down on his couch in front of his ginormous T.V.
Just then, a strange ad came on. "Hey there! Contemplating your job as a wrestler with a leopard mask?" The ad guy said.
"That sounds nothing like me." King said.
"...Jaguar?" The ad guy said.
"Now we're talkin'!"
"Well, if you're that guy, come to First National City Place Bank!"
"...Isn't that a long name for a ba–"
"SHUT UP! Anyway, come work for us. Or we'll hunt you down."
"I'm just kidding. Just come work for us. Please! We're desperate!"
"...Ehh...might as well..." King said, standing up and walking out. However, he walked back inside, realizing he had just walked into public with his wrestling undies on. He put that dumb cowboy outfit on and walked out again.
"Why, hello, Mr...um...wrestler guy." A bank teller said.
"King. And hi. I'm here about the job?" King said, approaching the teller.
"Oh! Yes. Just stay here with me and I'll show you." The teller said.
"Okay..." King said, squinting at her name tag. "...Carol."
"Now, King, I have your first task. Mr. Walters would a money withdrawal."
"You guys aren't even going to train me?"
"Screw that, wrestlers have always proved to be great bank tellers in the past!"
"……….Really?"
"No! But you're going to do fine, I can tell."
Five minutes later…
Mr. Walters lay on the ground with the ribs crushed, jaw torn from it hinges, and other body parts of his body strewn about the room. In fact, the ground that Mr. Walters laid upon wasn't even the floor inside the bank it was the ground outside the wall of the bank. A paramedics crew had pulled up as well as a police car.
"Now, Mr. King, if that is your real name, why did you kill him?" inquired a the police officer.
King sighed, "Look, he kept pushing me and–"
"WHY DID YA DO IT, HUH!"
"Will you let me finish what I was going to"
"A FINE IS AT HAND!" and with that the police officer stapled a fine of some sort to King's forehead.
King didn't seem to mind that the ticket, or the fact that it was causing him to bleed profusely. He felt scared that his job would be take away.
"Aww, don't worry King, we'll give you a second chance," Carol said.
A few minutes later, a man showed up. "I'd like to make a withdrawal of a hundred zillion please."
"Okay. Now, King, I'm going to make take out his money. Now what do you do?" Carol said.
"...Erm...umm...I...I..." King said.
"...King? We're waiting..."
"...Umm...umm..."
"King!"
"AAHHHH!" King then grabbed the man and did a piledriver on him. He then performed the giant swing on Carol. Needless to say, he got fired.
King, for the second time today, plopped down on top of the couch, and a seemingly familiar ad came on.
"Hey, pal! Are you a miserable failure at life and suck so much its not even funny?" yelled the ad dude.
"……."
"JUST KIDDING! Next question: are you a guy that does a thing?"
"……."
"Stop that! Anyways, we have decided that your ideal job is that of a bee wrangler!"
"The hell?"
"EXACTLY!" said the TV before a swarm of bees flew through the windows and stung king nearly to death. The person who apparently hired King for the bee wrangler came in through the broken window. He bent over to the crumpled up King and stamped the word "FIRED" onto kings face and then walked off.
The TV some how got up and walked over to King. "Boy, you really do suck at life!" King made a whining noise.
King awoke the next day and again plopped down in front of his couch, only to have another ad talk to him.
"Say! Are you a European wrestler with a jaguar mask?" The ad dude said.
"Mexican."
"Whatever! Then come to Adams and Higgins Orthodontics!"
"...'Kay." King said, getting up and leaving for the second time.
"Alright, King, let's get you started." Adams, one of the orthodontists said. He led King over to a table where a young boy was strapped. "King, this is Caleb. He needs to have his braces put in. Got it?"
"Got it." King said.
"Alright." Adams said, walking off.
Four hours later...
"...Mister, are you gonna put my braces in or not?" Caleb said.
"...STOP PRESSURING ME!" King yelled, driving his elbow into the kid's face. Needless to say...he was yet again fired.
Again, King plopped on his couch. "I bet another oddly specific ad that talks to me will come up." He said. And then, the inevitable happened. Yep, an oddly specific ad that talks to him came up.
"Hey there! Are you–"
"A Mexican wrestler in a jaguar mask contemplating my job? Yes."
"...Then come to the Zooful Zoo!"
"...That is the lamest–"
A gun came out of the TV.
"HOLY SHIT! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY TV COULD DO THAT!"
"Shut up! We were drunk. Just get your ass down here."
"FINE." King said, with an exasperated sigh. And for the third time, he got up and left his house.
"Now, if you look to your left, folks, you'll see a lemur!" King said, pointing to a ring-tailed lemur.
"What's that?" A dumbass, excuse me, tourist said.
"...Erm...it's, uh...it's a...a..."
"Well?"
"STOP PRESSURING ME!" However, before King could execute any type of move on the dumbass, err, tourist, the lemur latched onto his face. This lemur had also, the day before been identified with rabies. Thusly, the man ran around in circles screaming. Even though it wasn't King's fault, they still fired him because if he weren't fired, then there would be no story here.
When King went home, he turned off the T.V. and plopped down on the couch. "I have to stop cracking under pressure...if I don't, I'll just keep doing random wrestling moves on people and get fired..."
"Hey! Are you cracking under pressure and doing random wrestling moves on people, causing you to get fired?" Another ad dude said.
"What the hell! I turned you off!" King yelled, pointing at the T.V. However, he realized that he was sitting on the remote. "Goddammit!"
"Haha! Got ya now, sucker! Well, the job you're best suited for is...wrestler!"
"...You mean this whole time, the job I'm best suited for is the one I've had all along?"
"...Yep!"
"..." King turned off the T.V. and stared at the wall. He looked over at his discarded wrestling undies and stared for what seemed like hours. Finally, he picked them up and walked out. KING IS REBORN! Unfortunately, as he stepped onto the street a taxi cab rushed up to greet him, and ran King over.
"Success!" said a monotonous, robotic voice.
A/N: So, there is King. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did making it! Review, or I will send your forsaken souls to the underworld! ...Or I'll just be sad that I didn't get any reviews.