Chapter 3: Law

A/N: Jason and I just got done beating the crap out of each other with Law and Yoshimitsu, so here's a story about Law. Yoshimitsu will be next. So, here's Law.

"This pepper steak is too damn spicy!" A whiny voiced customer yelled. Unfortunately for him, Law is very sensitive about derogatory comments about his pepper steak. Law did several backflip kicks on unsuspecting customer and then proceeded to wail on him to the door.

After the savagely beaten customer was thrown outside, Law went home to go into yet another one of his drunken hazes.

"But dad! Paul made me!" Forest Law yelled.

"I didn't even accuse you of anything yet!" Marshall responded.

"BUT HE DID!"

"Shut up you sad excuse for a kid! You suck so much I was brought in to replace you!"

"SHUT UP I WAS IN TEKKEN TAG!"

"Well I'll be in Tekken Tag 2!"

"SHUT UP I YOU OMG!" Forest said, running to his room to go sulk in his suckitude.

Marshall picked up one of his many beers and sat on the couch to watch T.V.

"Hey! Are you a martial arts dude who looks and sounds like Bruce Lee who just got home from working at your own restaurant and are now going into a drunken haze?"

"...What an oddly specific ad...but that sounds nothing like me." Marshall said, changing the channel.

"Hey! Are you a martial arts dude who looks and sounds like Bruce Lee who just got home from working at your own restaurant and are now going into a drunken haze who just yelled at your son?"

"...Now that is me!" Marshall said.

"Then you need a mortgage!"

"Douche!"

"BITCH!" Marshall said, turning off the T.V. and stomping to his room.

Marshall tried to get off his couch to go apologize to Forest for being an ass. However, as he arose from his seat he fell the ground, passed out.

The following morning Law found himself in a deep hangover. Primal instincts urged him to do one thing: get to the toilet and vomit.

He rushed across his room and into the bathroom. He pulled up the toilet seat and puked. Just at that moment something unexpected happened.

The door bell rang. Outside voices could be heard. "Open up the door, sir! You're the next winner on Randomly Go To People's Houses and Give Them a Million Dollars show! You have been selected for no particular reason. The only catch is that you have to be at the door in ten seconds. This game really isn't all that hard to win, unless you are some sort of Chinese cuisine cook, and have just awoken from your drunken haze to find yourself in a hangover-ish haze and are now hunched over your toilet, vomiting!

"Hmm, that sounds a tad like me," thought Law before vomiting more. "Oh, Christ how, do I get to the door? SHT!"

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!" yelled the crew standing outside. "Sir, you must suck at life, because you just lost at the frickin' easiest game the world has ever come up with. Bye, dick!"

A couple of minutes later Law was interrupted by a second ringing of the doorbell.

"Sir, you have been selected to win anything you want! That's right you're on Randomly Go to a Person's House and Give Them a Thing Show! This show was created to knock of that bitch of a show 'Randomly Go To People's Houses and Give Them a Million Dollars Show.' However, like the other show you have to get out her in ten seconds. Think you can pull yourself away from that toilet for that long? Oh, oops…" said the man outside Law's door.

"What the hell? Does god me or something?" thought Law.

"Actually, yes, I do," said a saintly voice.

"God, you suck."

"Yeah, I get that alot."

"Ok, new plan! On the count of 3 I rip the toilet from the floor and take it with me to the front door. One, two, three." Law pulled the toilet as hard as he could, but unfortunately just dislocated his arm. "…" thought Law before crying.

"…7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0! Sir, you suck so much that I am going to throw bricks at your house!" And for the next 5 minutes Law could hear the mashing of bricks with the outside of his house. Unfortunately for Law one of the bricks smashed through the wall and somehow bounced off a wall and smashed into skull. How does a brick bounce off a wall, you ask. Well, its quite simple. Plot holes. Right, so that happened. And, uhh…Law was knocked out.

A few hours later Law reawakened. He realized that someone else besides Forest was in the house.

"Umm…I don't want have to go all crazy and do impossible back flips on you."

Suddenly a burglar ran past Law and attempted to run through the door. Law realized that the burglar had several items in his sack that was drooped over his shoulder. He identified the following: his DVD player, his TV, his refrigerator, a tied up Forest Law, and the support beam to his house.

"JESUS MAN, PUT THE BEAM BACK!" yelled Law.

"Oh, right, sorry," said the burglar as he put the support beam back. "Anything else?"

"Naw, all of that other stuff I stole from other people."

"All of it?" the burglar eyed a tied up Forest.

"Yeah, all of it. Whatever is in there, I stole it from someone. Even Forest."

"You sick …" said the burglar before running away.

Next door, Yoshimitsu and was having a small party with his manji party buddies with his favorite minstrel doing the music.

"Aye, merry men! Let us rejoice! We have robbed and mercilessly beat the crap out of yet another old miser!" Yoshimitsu said, raising a glass of wine.

"Aye!" The manji party members responded, raising their glasses of wine.

Next door, Marshall was trying to take an afternoon nap. However, this was pretty hard since crazy, alien ninjas who thought they were in the middle ages were making quite a ruckus with their classical party music. Marshall angrily stomped to his window and opened it, then threw a shoe through Yoshimitsu's window.

"SHUT THE HELL UP." He said, before stomping back to his bed.

Next door, Yoshimitsu was chugging down his wine when a shoe hit him on the back of the head from behind. Yoshimitsu spit out his wine and stood with wide eyes for ten minutes. Then, becoming quite irate, he stomped to his broken window and yelled to Law.

"Aye, sir! Why hath thou thrown a shoe through my window!"

Law stomped back over to his window. "One, I'm not sure your grammar was correct, two, because you wouldn't shut up!"

"We are having a celebration! And you shut up!"

"NO! You!"

"You!"

"You!"

This went on for days. Until finally...

"Oh, it's on!" Yoshimitsu yelled.

"Bring it, bitch!" Marshall responded.

"So be it!" Yoshimitsu said, running outside. Marshall was soon to follow.

"Alright, let's see what you've got!" Marshall said, uttering a line heard in every fighting game ever.

"Ha! You cannot best me, Law!" Yoshimitsu said. "You see, a sword is glued to my hand!...And it's green!" He said, brandishing his sword .

"...Err..." Marshall said, before running into his house. He ran out ten seconds later with an English broadsword. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running into his house and coming back ten seconds later with a mace. "Ha!" Yoshimitsu said, swinging the mace around.

"...Err..." Marshall said, running off then running back with an old Revolutionary War rifle with a bayonet attached. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running off and running back with a shotgun. "Ha!" He said, ing the shotgun.

"...Err..." Marshall said, running off and running back with a sub-machine gun. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running off and running back with an AK-47. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Marshall said, running off and running back with a Revolutionary War cannon. "Ha!" He said, lighting a match.

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running off and running back, then quickly assembling a Gatlin gun.

"Ha!"

"...Err..." Marshall said, running off and running back with a rocket launcher. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running off. Ten minutes later, he drove up in a large tank. Opening the hatch, he stood out and pointed at Marshall. "Ha!"

"...Err..." Marshall said, running off. Twenty minutes later, a battleship came out of nowhere, somehow on land. But hey, if a submarine fell from the sky, why can't a battleship go on land? "Ha!" Marshall said, his voice distant.

"...Err..." Yoshimitsu said, running off. Twenty minutes later, he flew past in a war plane and dropped an atom on Marshall's battleship.

However, since we want to keep this as friendly as possible, Marshall didn't die. He was just completely charred, like in the cartoons.

"Aw, crap!" Yoshimitsu said, landing the plane. "I blew up my own house!"

"...Yeah, and like, everywhere else..." Marshall said.

"...Well, crap."

"Yeah..."

"...Wanna go see a movie?"

"Okay!"

And with that, Marshall and Yoshimitsu skipped off into the sunset.

A/N: Well, I've had that idea of two random characters trying to best each other by bringing back better weapons. Just never got the chance to use it in Random Misadventures. Oh well. Hopefully I won't run out of ideas like in that fic. You'll get another chapter next week...or when I feel like it. By the way, my animosity towards Steve is that a friend of mine keeps using him really cheaply. So I him.

A/N 2: This chapter was almost entirely a combination of previous ideas, just thrown in with characters. The weapons we had made up. The first with Marshall and Forest was the only thing new. Just though that I would let you know all that. (Jason)