The Tale of Captain Jack Sparrow

Jack walked happily along through the trees in a forest much like all the other forests we've been through in the past few chapters. He was now humming the Willy Wonka Welcome song to himself. It had been a very interesting day for him. Of course he was still having the worst hangover in the world, but for some reason he was very happy. Suddenly he heard a wooshing sound coming from the trees.

Meanwhile

Prince Herbert was about to break into song when his father cut him off.

"No singing!" he yelled.

"I love singing! The hills are alive..." Sang Herbert before he was rudley cut off by his father.

"No, singing is for girls. Which you are not, but now I am starting to believe you are, Alice," Herbert's father said.

"My name is Herbert," said Herbert who sounded as if he was sick and half asleep.

"Right, anyway, you should start getting ready for you wedding," said his father quickly.

"I don't want to get married," whined Herbert.

"Why not!" asked his father who was obviously enraged at the thought of his son not wanting to get married.

"Because, I don't love her," Herbert said as he stared down at the floor in shame.

"You don't love her? Marraige isn't about love! Anyway, what's not to love? She's rich, she has huge...tracts of land, heh, and she well, um, she's pretty," said the king a.k.a Herbert's father.

"She's not pretty, she's fat," complained Herbert. "Anyway, I would rather, SING!" he added as he began to break into song.

"No! We will have none of that singing buisness. You're going to marry Princess Fatty, I mean Looky (is it lukcy or looky? I could never tell in the movie) and you're going to like it!" his father grumbled as he stumbled over to the door. "You two, guards. Make sure he doesn't leave the room," he added hastily.

"So can he leave the room with us?" asked one of the guards.

"No, he can't leave the room with anyone," said the king.

"Oh, so he can leave the room," said the guard who seemed more than a bit confused.

"NO! He can't leave the room," yelled the king.

"Why not?" asked the guard.

"Because, I said so!" yelled the king. By now he was fuming and about ready to punch out the guard.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. He can't leave the room, but you can come in the room, and he can leave with you?" the guard asked smiling.

"No! No one can take him out of the room, no one can come in the room, and for all means HE CAN'T LEAVE THE ROOM!" shouted the king as he stormed out the door.

"So, now what do we do?" asked the guard to Herbert.

"I'm going to..." said Herbert as he was about to break into song, when his father suddenly burst into the room.

"ABSOLUTELY NO SINGING!" he yelled before he slammed the door and ran off.

"Yeah, I was about to do that," said Herbert. He slowly walked toward his desk and grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. The guards gave him a very happy look and went back to doing nothing. "Pot heads," said Herbert under his breath. He quickly scribbled something down on the paper, attached the paper to an arrow and shot it out the window, all the while the guards stared happily at him.

Meanwhile

"Ahhh! It's an arrow!" screamed Jack as he ducked for cover behind a tree. The arrow went flying past him and hit a nearby pedestrian.

"Shit!" screamed the pedestrian as he fell to the ground.

"Noooo! Not my dear and beloved friend!" yelled Jack as he rushed over to the pedestrian laying on the ground.

"Do I know you?" the pedestrian asked wearily.

"No," said Jack casually as he attempted to rip the arrow out of the pedestrians chest.

"Don't! That hurts more!" he cried as Jack managed to shove it further into the man's chest.

"Oops, sorry," said Jack.

"I think this arrow is for you," said the pedestrian as he pointed to the note attached to it. "You are a brave knight, right?" he added.

"Yeah, sure," said Jack as he snatched up the note.It read: To the finder of this note, I am in need of rescue, because my father is keeping locked in the tallest tower of the swamp castle. He won't let me sing. Anyway it would be great if you could save me and also pick up my groceries. The list is attached to the note.

"Groceries?" asked Jack, a little confused.

"Well, go save the poor woman," said the pedestrian who appeared to be far from death.

"Aren't you supposed to die?" asked Jack as he was about to get up and run to the grocery store.

"Yeah, but that got written out. Have fun!" cried the pedestrian as Jack ran off. "Sucker."