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Chapter 19 Remus
After breakfast, Harry went back to his dorm and pulled out his mirror. He needed to talk to Remus. Remus listened patiently while Harry recounted his vision and run in with Draco afterward and then the warning this morning. Remus advised him not to blame himself. There was nothing he could do in the visions and what else should he have done in his situation with the Dursleys? It literally was a situation that if he hadn't done what he did, they would have been killed. Harry knew that, of course, but sometimes his feelings just weren't logical, but it did help to talk to Remus.
Mid-way through Defense Against the Dark Arts, Draco was called out of class. He didn't return. Rumor had it that he was called home.
Harry got another warning Monday night. He had potions tutoring and Audra said Malfoy had been quieter than normal Sunday night, which didn't seem a good sign. Beyond an early muttering of how everything was Potter's fault, he then seemed to quietly concentrate on different schemes and plots. Audra said he gave her the willies and seemed to be more dangerous than in the past. Normally he was mostly hot air, but now he had seemed quietly determined.
Harry's friends decided that they would keep some type of guard around him during the day. Harry promised to use his cloak and map more often for his meetings at night to stay on his guard.
Draco was gone from the school Tuesday and Wednesday, but returned on Thursday. Thursday morning Harry, Ron and Hermione had Care of Magical Creatures. Hagrid now had them studying Jarveys. The jarvey they were near was a white one, very similar in looks to a ferret. It was busy issuing a long stream of profanities at the class while Ron couldn't help but snicker. "Brings back memories of fourth year, doesn't it?"
Draco Malfoy happened to be in their group as well as Crabbe and Goyle. He was looking daggers at the little animal. Ron couldn't help it. "Bring back memories, ferret-boy?"
Draco just turned his head and glared at Ron. Hermione had jabbed him in the ribs to hush him, but Ron was about to say more. Harry put a hand on his arm and shook his head. Ron settled back down.
That seemed to anger Malfoy more than the insult had. "What's the matter, Weasel? Going to let Potty and the Mudblood hold you back? Can't do anything for yourself anymore? Want her so bad you'd do anything, wouldn't you? But…wait a minute, it wasn't the Mudblood who stopped you...What could that mean?"
Harry stepped forward. Malfoy tensed and seemed to almost smile in anticipation. Harry just looked at Malfoy for a moment. "I'm sorry if any of our comments brought back bad memories, Draco. We'll leave you be." Harry saw Draco's face darken as he turned away.
Harry and his friends moved off to a different jarvey. They settled on the ground and took out their drawing supplies so they could draw this brown spotted jarvey. This one also kept up rude phrases, but they were not quite as offensive as the white jarvey.
Ron was still a little peeved at Malfoy's comments. "Why'd you go apologize to the git for, Harry?"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "This is not the time to be antagonizing him. Couldn't you see he was just spoiling for a fight?"
Ron shrugged. "Maybe," He frowned in confusion. "Harry, how'd you not lose your temper?"
It was Harry's turn to shrug. "Things seem different since that vision. All the fighting I've done with him just seems pointless. I saw his father die. I know it wasn't my fault and I wouldn't do anything different, but I was a factor. You know how much he seemed to admire his father. I keep thinking of how I felt when Sirius died."
"Is that why you keep calling him 'Draco' instead of 'Malfoy'? You feel sorry for him?"
Harry thought for a moment. "Not totally, I think. Saying 'Malfoy' brings his father to mind. I'd rather not think of him if I can help it."
Ron seemed to accept that. "Hate to tell ya, but that seems to be getting him angrier yet. Don't think he wants sympathy from you, either."
"I wouldn't care if I could just keep avoiding him. Don't have to call him anything that way!" Harry gave a half-grin and the friends shrugged off the heavy mood and proceeded with their lesson.
Thursday night, Harry was monitoring the practice in a DA meeting when he heard his name being called from his mirror. Remus had suggested he carry it around as just another precaution. If Malfoy should do something, Harry might be able to get in touch with Remus and he could get help for Harry.
Harry was surprised, but took out the mirror. He gave a quick look around and didn't think anyone was paying any particular attention to him so decided to answer right there. "Remus! Good to hear from you. What's up?"
The face that appeared in the mirror didn't look good. There was a long scratch on his left cheek and he seemed to be sporting several bruises. "I'm sorry, cub. They got me. There was an ambush set up earlier tonight."
"What?" Harry didn't notice the entire room settled into quiet. "No! No, where are you? We can get you out! I did it before, I'll do it again!"
"Not this time, Harry. You can't come anywhere near this place! I don't know where it is, but it's got to be one of their strongholds. There are Death Eaters all over."
In the background Harry could hear Ron telling Hermione to use the map and get Dumbledore. Distantly he then heard him releasing all the students. Ginny was next to Harry and had her arms around his waist in support. None of it meant anything to him at the moment. Harry was in a state of shock.
"I just wanted to tell you I love you, cub," Remus said softly.
There was something building up inside of Harry that wanted to tear him apart. "I love you, too, Moony."
A hand landed on Harry's shoulder. "Harry?" Harry looked up to see the Headmaster. Harry gestured towards the mirror.
"They've got Remus." Harry reluctantly handed it over and felt himself being guided over to a cushion. He finally looked around in a daze. The room had been emptied. Professor Snape was looking around in interest at the large room. It was larger than any regular classroom. The books and dark detectors seemed to especially hold his interest. Harry was interested to note that the foe glass did not become any clearer when he was around this time as it had when Barty Crouch was using it. He had already decided to put in trust in Dumbledore's faith, but it didn't hurt to have it reinforced this way. He may not like the man, but he finally believed he was on their side.
Harry's friends were all crowded around him. Harry felt cold. Colder than he'd ever felt before. It wasn't anything from the outside, it was something deep inside that froze over. He fixed his gaze on the Headmaster, talking in the mirror.
Someone must have been coming on Remus' end because the conversation abruptly cut off. Dumbledore handed the mirror back to Harry. The mirror was dark but Harry could hear words in the background, too faint to understand. Harry held the mirror close to his body, almost hugging it.
Dumbledore and Snape were having a low conversation. Snape was saying something about new wards put in place since the past weekend. He actually was surprised the mirror got through. Harry had a hope. "Is there any way we can find him through the mirror's magic? Is there some kind of trail?"
Snape rolled his eyes, but Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "I don't think so, Harry, but I can try. Would you loan it to me?"
Harry was breathing shallowly. He didn't want to give up the mirror. It was his last link with Remus. But if there was any chance that it could possibly save him….He handed it to Dumbledore.
"I will see what I can do." The Headmaster once again rested a hand on Harry's shoulder before leaving the room, Professor Snape following.
Harry's friends gathered around him. They led him out of the Room of Requirement and back to their Common Room. The room was silent as they entered. Most were members of the DA and knew something bad had happened.
Harry spent a restless night. He couldn't sleep. All he could think about was Remus and wonder if he was being tortured or killed.
Friday was the last day before Easter Holidays. At breakfast his gaze went immediately to the Head table but Dumbledore wasn't there. Harry stumbled through his morning classes in a daze. There seemed to be more people around him than usual. The DA was taking up a guard around him to assure his safety while he was distracted. They kept all other curious watchers at bay.
At noon, Dumbledore was at the Head table. Harry looked at him hopefully, but he shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, Harry. We could not find a way to trace a path to him using the mirror's connection. It was a slim hope at best." He handed the precious mirror back to Harry. Harry hugged it to his chest. "If you need to talk to anyone, you can always come to me. The password is Fairy Floss."
Harry decided to skip his afternoon class. He was glad he did when screams started coming from the mirror. They tore at Harry's heart. It was agonizing listening to them and after a short time Harry could stand it no longer. His eyes were damp but his face got a determined look and he changed to Flame. If there was any way possible to get him out of there, he had to try. He didn't care if the place was crawling with Death Eaters. He concentrated on Remus, on being where Remus was. Nothing happened.
With a cry of frustration and despair, Harry changed back. It had worked before. Why wasn't it working now? All Harry could do was wait and listen.
After about thirty minutes, the screams finally stopped. Harry didn't know if that was a good thing or bad. He was glad the pain stopped, but was Remus still alive?
An hour later Remus' face appeared in the mirror again. Harry had been lying in his four-poster just holding on desperately to the mirror when he heard his name. Remus' pale face appeared.
"Harry?"
"Remus! Are you okay? The Headmaster tried to find you through the mirror but couldn't locate you."
"I'm as well as can be expected. I didn't expect he would be able to." Remus looked resigned and tired.
"I tried to get to you, too, but I can't." Harry's eyes were bright with tears, but they didn't fall.
"That's for the best, Harry. I just want you to tell Professor Dumbledore one last thing, cub, and then I want you to destroy the mirror."
"No!" Harry couldn't let this last connection to his father's friend disappear.
"It's better that it get destroyed in case it could be used by them!" Remus paused and seemed to get himself back under control. "Now listen to me. Tell Dumbledore…" He broke off, seemingly not able to continue.
"Talk to me, Moony. What are you so worried about?" Harry could tell there was something more worrying Remus than his potential death. He'd seemed resigned to it yesterday, even though Harry didn't want to accept it.
Remus closed his eyes for a moment. "You know what's coming up next week. They're not giving me food." Harry gasped. "I'm afraid they have plans for the werewolf." Remus was sounding defeated.
Harry felt a shudder go through him. As much as Harry didn't want Remus to die, he knew Remus would much rather die than attack anyone as a werewolf. Next Monday night was the full moon.
Remus continued, "I've been trying to goad them into killing me, but they must have orders not to and there's nothing here I can use to do it myself. There's no silver here." Werewolves were hard to kill. Beyond the stress of the monthly transformations wearing them out and dying of premature old age, it pretty much had to be a killing curse or something made of silver penetrating the skin.
Suddenly Harry saw Remus look up. He heard a distant harsh voice cry, "Accio mirror!"
Before Harry could think that he should stop the connection, a face with heavy-lidded eyes looked into the mirror. Bellatrix LeStrange looked in curiously, then her face lit up with glee.
"Ah, a two-way mirror. Potter, there isn't anyone I'd rather see than you." She gave a cackle of laughter then composed herself enough to talk in a mock baby voice. "Is wittle baby Potter sad to see his big pwotector getting huwt?" Her voice turned sharp again. "Do you love him like you did my dear cousin? Get used to it. This is what will happen to all those you love."
She settled back to enjoy the look of pain on Harry's face. "Are you about to cwy, little baby Potter? It is thanks to you that my Master came up with this plan. Such a lovely picture you made in the Prophet."
Harry was hearing the words and they were striking painfully in his chest. Each one a direct hit on his heart. It was his fault they went after Moony. His fault….
Remus suddenly started shouting from out of sight of the mirror. "Don't listen to her, Harry. I love you. Fight back! Don't let them cut you off from your friends. Destroy the mirror! Out!"
Harry knew his face blinked out of the mirror in Bellatrix's hands. Her gaunt face twisted in rage and she tossed the mirror aside. A crack appeared in it and he heard her scream "Crucio!"
Remus' screams started up again. Harry just sat there shaking, unable to move. He could only listen to those painful screams.
Then a new voice sounded across the connection. A high, cold voice that gave Harry chills down his back. "What are you doing, Bella? I said I did not want him in too bad a condition! It is not time yet for you to have your fun."
Harry could hear the sudden sycophantic tone in Bellatrix's voice. "I'm sorry, my Master. The werewolf had a mirror in which he was communicating with Potter. He broke the connection and my anger overtook me. I will do better." Harry could almost see her groveling at Voldemort's feet in his mind's eye.
"Potter?" The name was drawled out. Harry heard no incantation, but suddenly the view was changing as the mirror was flying across the room. Voldemort's face appeared in it and somehow Harry knew that even though the mirror was out on that side, he could see Harry's face in it. Harry broke out of his paralysis.
"Out!" Harry threw the mirror across the room. The glass cracked, but Harry could see it start to glow green. Harry pointed his wand at it. "Reducto!" The curse hit it and it shattered.
Harry closed his eyes, panting. He decided to gather the pieces together and bring them to Dumbledore. He used his wand to make the pieces fly into a bag. He wasn't sure he wanted to touch them yet. He made his way to the stone gargoyle and used the password to access the office. At the top of the stairs, he knocked on the door. When he heard permission to enter, he did so and set the bag of broken pieces of the mirror on the Headmaster's desk.
He told him of Remus' fear and all that happened with Bellatrix and Voldemort, ending with the mirror glowing and him blowing it up with the Reductor curse.
"I will test the pieces to make sure there is no dark magic in them." Dumbledore looked at Harry over his half-moon glasses. "How are you doing, Harry?"
Harry took a painful breath. "They took him because of me. She told me straight to my face that it was because I love him that he was taken." Harry looked down at his fisted hands. "Remus told me to fight her by not cutting myself off from my friends, but I don't know if I can go through something like this again. I'm not sure I'll make it through this time."
"You can make it through. You have many who love you and will support you through this. Easter Holidays start tomorrow. I had thought you should stay here, but if you would rather, I can make arrangements for you to stay at Grimmauld Place. Which would you prefer?"
Harry thought about it. "Could my friends come, too?"
"Of course, Harry,"
"Then I would prefer to go to Grimmauld Place." Harry suddenly felt a need to be where Sirius and Moony had spent a lot of their time. He needed to feel close to them.
"I will make the arrangements."
"Thank you, sir," Harry rose and returned to his dorm.
Mrs. Weasley had been persuaded to stay with the teenagers at Grimmauld Place. Ron, Hermione and Ginny went with him. Their support never wavered when Harry told him of his last conversation with Remus and what Bellatrix had said.
During the day, Harry ghosted around shadowing any Order members who would come in, hoping for some shred of news. He melted into the shadows and generally went unnoticed when they would talk to each other. Harry was once again thankful for some of his 'make no noise, pretend I don't exist' upbringing, because it allowed him to go mostly unseen.
When there were no members around, his friends tried to distract him with conversation or playing games. Harry's heart wasn't in it, but he appreciated their efforts and tried his best to keep his focus on them.
It was at night that his fears really got to Harry. He took to going to Remus' room late at night and transforming to Shadow. Remus' scent was much stronger that way and Harry felt closer to him, but his fears seemed more distant. Shadow would curl up on Remus' bed to fall asleep.
It was on Monday, the night of the full moon, that Dumbledore came in. It was early evening. Harry stayed in a corner of the kitchen. Dumbledore looked at him sadly but did not order him to go. Order members started filing in. When everyone was seated, the Headmaster started. "Severus was able to get word that Remus will be taken to Diagon Alley tonight." Several gasps were heard. Monday night was one of the busier nights at Diagon Alley. The Professor closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Is everyone familiar with the silver dart spell? The incantation is 'argentum spiculum'. Everyone should practice it."
Harry closed his eyes tightly. Tears were building up behind his eyes. He knew Remus would rather die than hurt someone in his werewolf form, but Harry couldn't stand this. Everyone was quietly murmuring the spell and shooting little, deadly silver darts towards the far wall. There had to be something Harry could do! There just had to be. He couldn't lose Remus, too!
The Order started making its way out of the kitchen to find strategic spots in Diagon Alley. Harry sat there slowly shaking his head 'no'. Professor Dumbledore came near and crouched down in front of Harry. "I wish there was something else we could do. Severus reports that the Death Eaters have not fed him for three days and have harmed him in ways to make the werewolf more violent than ever. You know Remus would never want to hurt innocent people."
Harry looked up, his eyes shining with the tears he wouldn't let fall. Dumbledore looked uncertain and old. Harry wondered if he thought Harry would blame him for essentially putting a death sentence on Remus. "I know, Professor. He taught me that spell himself, a year ago, just in case."
Dumbledore closed his eyes in apparent relief that Harry accepted the decision, even if he wished it could be another way. He held his arms open. Harry threw himself in them and felt his eyes burning with the effort of holding back his tears. His shoulders shook as his Headmaster held him. Harry held him tightly. He didn't dare let himself breakdown. Net yet. If he did, it would be like admitting that Remus was already as good as dead. Just like Sirius….
Eventually Harry pulled away. The Headmaster looked at him intently. "I have to go now. I will see you in the morning." The professor got up from the floor and headed out of the kitchen.
Harry's friends were near the doorway. Harry idly wondered how long they had been there, if they'd seen his little breakdown with the Headmaster. Harry wiped his face with his sleeve making sure there were no tears. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Harry chanced a look at their faces. Tears were streaming down Ginny and Hermione's faces. Ron's face was pale and set.
Finally, Harry said softly, "I'm going there. Maybe there's something I can do. Maybe I could somehow get him transported to the Shrieking Shack."
Hermione started shaking her head. "If he's wild, you couldn't get near him in your phoenix form to transport him. He'd rip you to shreds."
"I've got to try, Hermione. Even if I can't do anything, I can't sit here. Maybe I could calm him enough as Shadow to be able to transform to Flame."
"Or you might terrify everyone else into attacking you as well." Hermione pointed out a very real possibility.
Ginny broke in. "Take us along. Maybe we can help."
Harry was shaking his head. "Only if you can travel with me in animal form. There's no way I'd take you as humans. We don't know where Remus is. I could drop you right in front of him. We can't risk that."
Ron prodded him. "Then go on, mate. Change to Flame and we'll change, too."
Hermione put a hand on his shoulder to stop him for a moment. "Harry, be careful. Your venom has traces of silver nitrate in it. The amount is minute, but it is there."
Harry nodded to Hermione in acknowledgement. He closed his eyes and let his phoenix form take over. He opened his eyes and shortly saw the kitchen filled with his friends in their forms.
Harry turned and spread Flames golden tail feathers apart. Skye hopped over and took one of the tail feathers in her beak. Leo tried to as well, but couldn't get a good hold on them with his mouth. He looked pleadingly at Spots. She carefully bit down on a feather and wrapped two paws around Leo' mane. Skye hopped onto his back and dug her talons into his ruff. He whimpered a little but turned to look at Flame, who had his head turned backwards to watch his friends. Flame rose a little in the air just to make sure everyone was connected. They were, so he flashed them to Diagon Alley.
They appeared in an alley near the entrance. Harry briefly turned back to himself before changing into Shadow. With a powerful beat of his wings he took to the air. He flew high to take a good look around. The moon was just coming out so he knew it would be soon that Moony would arrive. He could sense Skye hovering along beside him.
Suddenly Skye let out a screech and went into a sharp dive, aiming for the entrance to the Alley by the Leaky Cauldron. Screams started to be heard. Harry could see Spots and Leo running along the ground aiming for where they'd seen Skye dive. Order members were also running towards the commotion. Harry followed Skye in her dive and finally saw what she had seen.
The werewolf was near the entrance and was, for the moment, disoriented. Harry knew that wouldn't last long. Harry noticed with Shadows vision showed a strange, twining aura around the werewolf. Suddenly the werewolf seemed to snap out of it with a loud howl. His eyes started focusing on the people around him, most of who were running for their lives. The Order was having trouble fighting the flow of panicked crowds to get near the werewolf. The werewolf's nose twitched and he started racing after the crowd.
Skye started to dive bomb the werewolf to distract him from the crowds. The large bird succeeded as the werewolf started taking swipes at her, snapping his powerful jaws. Loud snarls filled the air as Shadow tackled the werewolf and forced him to the ground. Moony was clearly crazed and fighting with an obsessed air, trying to get away from the creature holding him down. Harry was taking some bad scratches from his claws. Leo joined the fray. While Shadow kept hold of the hind legs of the werewolf, Leo added his weight to take down the front half of the werewolf. Harry took a moment to glance around. Most of the crowd had made it into the buildings and he could now see Order Members surrounding them at a distance. Skye and Spots were making circuits around the fight area trying to force the Aurors and Order members to stay back. As his gaze met some, he noticed Hermione had been right. They were as scared of him as they were of the werewolf.
From the corner of his eye, Harry saw a silver streak race across towards them. Suddenly Leo gave a painful roar and the werewolf was able to throw him off. Leo went flying and hit a wall. He didn't get back up. Harry didn't have much time to take in Spots running towards the fallen figure or the crazy bird dive bombing the auror who had shot the curse.
When the werewolf had thrown the lion, Harry noticed a necklace around his neck snapped and fell to the ground. The emblem on the necklace was the dark mark. Harry suspected that had been the portkey that had brought him here.
The werewolf threw Shadow off him as well. Harry could tell he was bleeding pretty badly but he got back to his feet and lunged at Moony again. Suddenly he felt a sharp pain as a silver dart entered his back, just below his ribs. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep the werewolf back for much longer. Harry had to make a terrible decision. He bit Moony.
Harry could feel the venom leave his fangs and taste the warm, coppery taste of Moony's blood. He suddenly remembered back to when he had felt he was the snake that bit Mr. Weasley. His jaws weren't breaking ribs, but the déjà vu was a little too real for him. He inwardly winced. The venom released should be enough to incapacitate a man for half an hour. He released the werewolf. Moony stumbled but started towards the waiting aurors again. Harry could understand the werewolf was obsessed. When he wasn't actively fighting Harry, he would shift his gaze to the humans and his focus would be intense. The impressions of words coming from the werewolf "Kill, smell blood, destroy…" Harry bit him again. Harry was inwardly crying as he felt even more venom leaving his fangs.
The werewolf stumbled again but was still struggling, lashing out with his claws and snapping his teeth. Harry briefly focused on the aura around the creature. It was fading. He looked up and met the werewolf's eyes. Moony still had bloodlust rampant in his eyes and an obsessed fanaticism. Harry's strength was leaving and the creature was getting loose. Harry then knew the werewolf would never stop until it was dead. Harry bit him a third time. Finally the werewolf fell. This time he didn't struggle. His panting became a painful whine. The body under Shadow shifted and became human again. Remus lay there bleeding, gasping for breath. Harry could see the aura flickering and smell the death gathering around the fallen man. Its smell was getting stronger and stronger. Harry let out an anguished howl. With his howl he heard other animal cries. His friends gathered around. Leo had even recovered and limped his way over to where Harry and Remus lay.
Harry couldn't stand the stench any longer. Part of Remus had already died. He could see and smell that. His body was still breathing, however, and Harry decided that when Remus finally died, he wasn't going to die on some public street. Under the cover of his friends, Harry changed directly to Flame. He felt pain from the transformation. He'd never gone from the one form directly to the other. It didn't hurt as bad as the initial transformations, but it was bad enough. He let out a painful howl that morphed into a shriek. He grabbed hold of Remus with his talons and, ignoring his painful wounds, flashed to the Shrieking Shack.
The sudden silence of the shack was deafening to Harry. He had killed the only parental figure he had left who cared just for him. No matter how much he knew it was what Remus would have wanted, Harry couldn't stand it. He let out mournful shriek as pearly tears ran down his cheeks. Some landed on the dying Remus.
Harry knew Remus was too far gone to be healed by his tears, but at least he could close the gaping wounds. Harry laid his head against the first bite and let the tears close it up. He repeated his actions for the other two bites. Remus' gasps started to become a little calmer.
Harry knew it might be a stupid thing to do, but he changed back into his normal self. Remus was dying, no longer in his werewolf form and it was directly by Harry's hand so to speak. Harry wanted to spend the last minutes with Remus as himself. He didn't think Remus was capable of trying to bite anyone anymore. Harry moved some blankets around Remus to keep him warm and just spent the rest of the night stroking his hair, holding his hand and telling him over and over how sorry he was.