Roger the Shrubber
Aragorn and Arthur walked silently through a rather pathetic lookig town. There didn't seem to be anyone actually inhabiting the town, which made it look even more desolate. For some reason they hadn't been able to find any shrubberies, which was odd, because usually local nurseries carried those. Sadly, these were apparently dark times and every nursery was out of shrubberies, due to popular demand from the knights of ni.
"I can't believe Shrubbieries plus didn't have any shrubberies," whined Arthur as they walked down the dusty path.
"You'd think they would considering the title of the store," said Arthur as he kicked a rock. The rock hit an old lady that was beating her cat against a wall. She quickly dropped the cat and picked up the rock.
"Did you throw this rock at me!" she screeched at Arthur and Aragorn.
"Um...no?" said Arthur backing away from the old lady.
"Oh, ok," she said as she started up beating her cat against the wall again.
"Yo! Old lady! Do you know where we can buy a shrubbery?" asked Aragorn.
"We have no shrubberies here!" yelled the old lady as she threw her cat at Aragorn. The cat hit him in the face, and it scratched the hell out of his face.
Arthur stared blankely at his companion. Why would she throw a cat at him? Some people were just weird. He supposed that he ought to threaten this weird old lady to get the information of shrubbery whereabouts out of her.
"If you do not tell us where we can find a shrubbery, we will say Ni to you," said Arthur.
"Do your worst!" said the old lady scowling.
"Ok... NI!" said Arthur as the old lady fell to her knees on the ground.
"Why does that effect everyone here?" asked Aragorn who had removed the cat off his face. He now bore a lot of ugly and painful looking scratches on his neck and face.
"I don't know, but help me say Ni to this old lady," said Arthur. The old lady cringed further at the mention of the word.
"I will never tell you!" she screeched angrily.
"No," said Aragorn less enthusiastically than Arthur.
"No, no, no, it's Ni," said Arthur.
"Yeah, I know I just said no for the effect," said Aragorn.
"What effect?" asked Arthur.
"I don't know, you're the expert on these things apparently. Why don't you tell me?" retorted Aragorn.
"I don't care. Let's just Ni this old lady to death ok?" asked Arthur as he turned back to the old lady.
"Ni!" yelled Aragorn. The old lady was now lying in a ball on the ground.
"Ni, ni, ni , ni , ni!" said Arthur and Aragorn together. The old lady was no wailing in pain.
"Excuse me, but are you saying Ni to that old lady?" asked a voice from behind them.
"Who are you?" asked Arthur who had given up on the whole Ni thing.
"I am Roger the shrubber," replied the man. He was sitting in a cart pulled by 4 peasants.
"Ni!" yelled Aragorn at Roger. Roger gave him a strange look.
"No, don't say that to him. We need to buy a shrubbery from him," scolded Arthur. Aragorn gave him an evil look then shut up.
They ended up buying a beautiful shrubbery that wasn't too expensive of course.