Left Unfinished

"Are you happy, Christine?"

Christine saw the concern in Raoul's eyes, and she smiled in an attempt to reassure him. "I am, Raoul...for the first time in longer than I am able to recall."

He visibly blanched, and Christine knew she had hurt him with her words.

"How can you be? After what he has done... The way he has treated you...even today."

Anger flashed in her dark eyes. "As you said, Raoul, today has been trying. I do not think any of us expected that we would happily sit down to tea if we should ever meet again."

He gave a short shake of his head and scowled. "No. But I could have done without another attempt on my life."

Christine's voice softened marginally. "You did come to our house uninvited, Raoul. Can you really blame Erik for thinking you'd come to cause trouble for us?"

Frustration caused Raoul's voice to raise in volume. "I would never have come at all if anyone had bothered telling me the truth in the first place!"

Christine looked away in guilt. "I am sorry for that." She reached out and placed one delicate hand over his, meeting his eyes again. "I never meant to hurt you, Raoul. You must know that. I...was so confused about my feelings in the beginning. It was unfair of me to turn to you for answers that I should have found for myself."

Raoul closed his eyes and shook his head sadly. "You were in love with him all along, weren't you?"

"I...yes. I think I have always been in love with him...from the time I was a child and first heard my angel speak to me, comfort me and sing to me."

His eyes snapped open again, dancing with annoyance as he dragged his hand away from her touch. "He lied to you, Christine."

Now it was Christine who closed her eyes, briefly replaying the past behind her lids. "I know. And I lied to myself. I knew my feelings for Erik went deeper than any childish fantasy should have. When I thought him an angel, I wanted him to be real. I wanted him to be flesh and blood so I could love him as I'd dreamed. But when I finally knew he was a man, it was nothing like I imagined. I was afraid." She met Raoul's eyes with a sad smile. "My childish dreams were of men like...you. And you happened to come back into my life at the worst possible time, I think. I was not yet strong enough give Erik my heart, or to begin to heal his pain. So I pledged myself to you instead, knowing you would keep me safe."

Raoul drew a ragged breath. "Did you...ever love me?"

Christine determinedly took his hand again. "Yes. I did, Raoul. I loved you as my friend, and as my protector. And I honestly believed that I could love you as my husband. But, in the end, I knew it would never be enough. I would have forever been thinking of Erik, and you deserve so much more than to have to share your wife's heart with another."

Raoul grit his teeth. He had known this, of course. But to finally hear the words from Christine's own lips seemed only to reopen old wounds. "Why did you not just tell me all of this before? Why sneak off into the night with him without even a goodbye?"

Christine raised a brow. "Need you really ask that? Erik is a wanted man in France. Could you have really...wished us well and let us go?"

Raoul dropped his head slightly, rubbing his free hand over his brow, attempting to ease his tension. He sighed heavily before looking back up to Christine, knowing what she said was true. "I suppose at the time I would not have been very cooperative. But I have only ever wanted you to be happy, Christine. If he makes you so..."

She beamed at him, squeezing his hand again. "He does. If you could only see Erik as I do, I know you would understand. We belong together, Raoul."

Raoul smiled a little, glancing down at her middle. "So I see. When is the child due?"

Christine answered automatically. "Only another month or so."

Raoul started to congratulate her, then his smile dimmed as the penny finally dropped. "So...you and your husband were not exactly alone when you left Paris."

Christine stiffened a little. "No. We were not. And I have no regrets."

Raoul stood from the couch and paced to the window. It had been difficult enough to hear Christine finally admit the depth of her feelings for Erik, but to know that she had gone back to the man so quickly after breaking off their engagement was unsettling.

Had I really been so insignificant to her?

He knew, of course, that in the grand scheme of things, he had been. The question now was how he felt about her.

Figure it out, man, or you'll lose Meg for certain.

Another penny dropped, and he mused. "I suppose this would be what has taken Meg and her mother so determinedly away from Paris. And why they could never say for certain when they would return."

Christine eyed Raoul speculatively. His words opened the other subject she was eager to discuss.

"Did you really think Meg had eloped with...what was his name again?"

Raoul whirled around and growled. "Ranier! Jean Ranier. And if you knew him as I do, you would understand my concern."

Christine tucked her tongue in her cheek and smiled. She had known full well the man's name, but could not resist testing Raoul's feelings for her friend. So many little things that Meg had said were now taking on new meaning.

"Actually, Meg has told me quite a bit about him. It seems he reminds her a bit of Erik."

Raoul's eyes flashed. "Meg has a very poor opinion of your husband then."

Christine smiled. "Actually, Meg and Erik are quite fond of one another."

Raoul's face darkened, a tone of sarcasm coloring his words that Christine had not known him capable of. "Well isn't that just lovely for them! With Meg's appreciation for scoundrels, I am certain they would have had a grand romance if you hadn't gotten to him first."

She gasped in astonishment. "My God! I do not think I have ever seen you seethe with jealousy before!"

He expelled a frustrated breath. "I am not seething."

She paused at that and studied him a moment more. "I notice that you didn't say that you are not jealous. You are in love with Meg, aren't you?"

Raoul's anger ebbed away and he sighed as he sank back to the sofa again. His next words were spoken softly with an air of longing about them. "Yes. I am."

Christine nodded absently. "She told me you had found someone. But she did not tell me it was her."

Raoul looked to her in speculation. "Does it bother you?"

"I...don't know. I confess that it did bother me to realize you had come chasing her across France and into England. But I am not certain why. I have no romantic claim on you, nor do I want one again. I want you to be happy. I want Meg to be happy."

Raoul cast his eyes downward, sitting a moment in silence. "You…said she didn't tell you…about my feelings for her?"

Christine could see the hurt on his face as clearly as she could hear it in his voice. "No. She did not."

He sighed raggedly again, raking a hand through his hair. "She doesn't believe me, Christine. She thinks I am still in love with you. And I fear my being here now has only made it worse."

Christine needed to know. "Are you still in love with me?"

Raoul met her eyes. "I...do still love you, Christine. But it has changed." And as he said this, he realized it was the truth. Though he still felt a sad ache in his heart for his lost love, he could find no trace of the passionate feelings he had once thought himself to possess for her. Lacking them now, he could not help wonder if he had ever really had them at all. "Seeing you again has made me realize how little we really knew one another as adults. I loved Little Lotte, and she was gone long before we ever met again."

Christine smiled a little, shaking her head. "Not so very long before then, Raoul."

"I would have married you, you know? And gone on thinking everything was wonderful."

"I would have made you miserable."

He smiled sadly. "Meg makes me happy, Christine. She makes me laugh, and she makes me feel…" All the passion that I no longer feel for you. His cheeks turned crimson as he bit off his words self-consciously. It would not do to confess such intimate thoughts to Christine. Instead he chose far simpler, and far more meaningful words. "I love her, more than I ever imagined possible. I think I have even come to understand your Erik's murderous jealousy." A humorless laugh escaped him before he turned pleading eyes to Christine. "How do I make her believe that the past is truly behind me?"

Christine smiled in sympathy. "By loving her, Raoul, no matter how impossible it may seem. She will not always make it easy, of course. I find myself wanting to throttle Erik sometimes for his stubbornness." Her hand drifted over her belly. "But I guarantee the rewards are worth the effort."

A/N: Once again, I want to thank my little group of faithful reviewers for the continued words of kindness. When I pour the words out onto the page, I'm writing in a vacuum…only hearing what's in my head and not really sure how it's going to end up sounding. So it's always nice to click on a review and get feedback. Thanks.