The Holy Hand Grenade
"Yo! Brother dude! Can you bring down the holy hand grenade of antioch?" asked Arthur up to Brother Maynard (I seriously don't know how to spell that dudes name...please forgive me)
"Yeah, hold on," the brother called down. He beckoned for this other guy to follow him with a large book. "Ok, let me consult the book of armaments. Does anyone know what chapter the holy hand grenade is located in?" everybody shook their heads. "Ok, look in the table of contents."
"Book of armaments chapter, wait I can't read roman numerals. Nevermind, it says: Take the hand grenade and count to THREE. Yes, you heard me, three. No more, no less. If you count anymore you will die a slow and painful death, if you count less you will die a quicker death, but still painful. Once you have counted to THREE you will then cast the holy hand grenade at your foe! Then there was feasting on the breakfast ceareal, and the sheep, and the alligators, and the toothpaste, and the dogs, and the monkeys, and..." the brother said.
"That is enough man, I think we get the point," said Brother Maynard while shooing away the dude with the book.
"Ok, so I count to five..." started Arthur.
"Three sir," Legolas corrected him.
"Right, three. Ok...one, two ,five..." started Arthur as he held the hand grenade up in the air.
"Three sir!" squeaked Merry in terror.
"Oops, three," Arthur said as he cast the grenade at the rabbit. It hit the rabbit right on target and it blew it too tiny bits, which is mentioned in the movie in the book thinyg.
"Yay! The evil rabbit is dead!" cried Pippin as he did an Irish jig.
"Come, let us unter THE CAVE! Bum Bum Bum!" exclaimed Arthur to no one in particular.
"You don't actually say Bum Bum Bum," pointed out Aragorn.
"Well, I like to," said Arthur as he headed toward the cave. Once they had entered the cave they came upon a wall engraved with ruins.
"What does it say?" asked Legolas, prodding Gimli in the back.
"How am I supposed to know?" asked Gimli.
"Well, you speak dwarvish," said Legolas.
"Yeah, well that isn't dwarvish," retorted Gimli, he gave Legolas a smug look.
"Can anyone read this?" asked Aragorn. Everyone looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't read it and your a freaking brother?" asked Aragorn to Brother Maynard.
"What? It's not like I went to school or anything," he replied, shaking his head.
"I think I can improv. what it says," said Legolas coolly.
"Ok...fine. I guess that works too," said Arthur sarcastically. Of course Legolas took him litterally and began to improvise what it said.
"Ahem, ok, I believe it says: Congratulations! You have made it to this creepy cave, now you just have to cross an old bridge and go to a dumb castle. Have fun! You must also answer 3 questions from the old man from scene 24 to cross the said bridge. Then you will get to the castle Arrrghhh." said Legolas, he paused and looked up. Everyone was staring at him in disgust.
"The castle Arrrghh? What kind of crappy improv was that?" asked Arthur.
"What? It was the best I can do," said Legolas as he hung his head in embarrassment. Little did everyone know, that Legolas was indeed roughly correct. Suddenly they heard a roar from behind them.
"Shut up Gimli! You don't need to rub it in!" screamed Legolas at Gimli.
"That wasn't me!" said Gimli looking panicked. Up till now he had been observing the walls of the cave in a dwarvish way.
"Arrrghhh!" cried Pippin as he turned around to see what had made the noise.
"No, Legolas was wrong Pippin. Gosh don't you listen?" asked Aragorn haughtily.
"No, I mean Arrrghhh, as in an expression of fear," said Pippin. They all turned around to see none other than...
Mwahahahaha! Cliffhanger! And guess what! I'm not gonna update till tomorrow cuz my hands hurt...anyway have fun with all these chapters i have added.the writer