Faces of War
Chapter 22: Revealing
Disclaimer: These characters are lovingly crafted by J.R.R. Tolkein, bless him, I promise to only have fun for a short while with the whimsy of his imagination...and of course, I gain nothing...well nothing short of hours of bonding with my computer!
Warning.....this chapter features a re-telling of events in Cirith Ungol that are a little unpleasant for Frodo and Sam....please skip the last three paragraphs if it is not to your liking....these sections are necessary to build plausibility for later events.....
Shire Baggins.....Sam should go insane with all the pain and guilt he carries! The pureness of his love carries him through some pretty horrific moments. Yes, poor Frodo, putting the "resilient hobbit" theory to the test once more! Don't worry though, even through his pain he will "pull it together" enough to aid those he loves!
Iorhael....Thank you for your flattering words....I am trying to appeal to the senses....and will continue to work on this...for me this writing, as fun as it is, aids me in my own "painting with words" as I seek to improve my co-habitation with the words that surround me! Stand firm Iorhael....Frodo will surprise us all!
Endymion2....More on the children's strike in later chapters...there was a"cost" for their disobedience....but the retrieval of Frodo was more than worth it for them....Frodo's message is one written in his darkest moments, but he is a realist...right now his chances of survival don't look good and he wants to contact his dear friends this one last, desperate time!
A commotion outside the labyrinth of caves and tunnels began as the wagons of the King's provisioning officers made their way down the lone narrow path that wound it's way to the entrance of the quarry. Dalmer looked to his brother "we're but three days from the transfer, three days til the riches of the King are ta be ours" he sneered in contempt as his eyes narrowed in the hardness of his stare "yer lust had best not cost us brother." The wagons drew closer and Dalmer squinted against the glare of the sun and watched as three halflings and a dwarf came into view. They watched in silence, the noise of whips cracking, shouting of orders and hammers meeting stone the only sound that rose up to meet them. Anborn watched the proceedings of the quarry, he found it most satisfying to think that the glory of Gondor would be restored by slaves from the great war. Yet, he was even more pleased that he'd be making his way in this world on the backs of not just slaves, but through the misery of a certain halfling. Dalmer gave his brother a last warning glance and a hurried "let me do the talkin' " and walked forward to welcome the King's officers as the two heavily laden carts pulled to a stop before him.
Gimli clambered down from the wagon seat and handed the reins to Sam. Pippin and Merry hopped down from their perch on the second wagon and busily began rummaging through their stock as Gimli approached Dalmer. The surly dwarf stomped without distraction to the side of the quarry foreman "I've found the supplies ye requested, lucky fer you the last camp we went to bartered fer stock we had lots of. Now step aside gentleman, we've got more stops ta make....we'll put the bedding supplies where they belong." Dalmer stepped closer and stared suspiciously at the impatient dwarf "bedding? I don't recall puttin' in a order fer beddin' " he looked down at the sturdy figure before him. Gimli widened his stance, placing one hand on the hilt of his ax and waving the parchment before him "I've a request right here" he said gruffly.
Dalmer looked inquiringly at his brother who merely shrugged as he replied mockingly "I requested it brother, I've been lacking in night time comforts of late." Dalmer glared at Anborn and advanced upon him angrily before he recalled his visitors, recovering himself he said with a forced show of friendliness "well, not much wrong with a little comfort....after a hard days labor eh brother?" Dalmer turned to Gimli "all right then, put it over there and my men 'll bring it in."
Pippin, who'd been been standing by the second cart came to Gimli's side "now then, we've got trades set for the next two camps down the pass, we'll be needin' ta make sure we leave you with just the right sizes and such....I've got to hold on to as much stock as I can you know" he said, eyes wide and innocent in their appeal. Sam, who'd been sitting atop the first wagon watching the men before him with loathing had a sudden uneasy feeling in his stomach, there was something about the grey eyed man that sent a shock of ill will coursing through him....he felt that some how he'd known and hated this man before. He climbed down "show me the beds yer needin' coverin's for, and I'll make short work of a fittin'...I know these supplies right well since I loaded the cart" he said in his no nonsense style.
Sam picked up the bedding supplies and he and Pippin started up the path behind Dalmer to the mouth of the cave. Dalmer put a rough hand to Pippin's shoulder to stop him, glaring with barely disguised disdain at the halfling. Merry, who'd been carefully and casually counting the guards about them, stiffened and reached slowly for his dagger, knowing he'd protect his cousin at any cost. Anborn broke the tension "come now brother, let the little ones do their work, surely the work of fittin' a bed is not a mans work....let them have their small job completed" he said laughing. Gimli bristled in anger but one quick look of warning from Sam calmed him. He walked back to Merry and made a show of unloading more bedding and going through the inventory on the cart.
Dalmer glared at his brother then turning to Sam and Pippin said with barely veiled sarcasm "very well, my brother shall accompany you as you do the Kings work." With that, Anborn gestured for Sam and Pippin to lead the way as they waled to the opening of the cavern.
The cave was dark and cool after the glare of the sun and it took a few moments for the hobbit's eyes to adjust to the shadows. They walked with Anborn between them, he kept an occasional hand to Pippins neck or shoulder to guide them as they made their way back through the maze of tunnels. Sam looked about him,' no sign of children' he found himself thinking 'but these here tunnels could go back a ways'. Abruptly Anborn stopped and lifted a ragged blanket that acted as a partition, they entered Anborn's sleeping quarters. Pippin chattered away, asking questions and rambling on about the supplies they'd bring next time as he tried to keep the man's attention away from Sam's perusal of the surrounding space. Sam was making a show of fitting the awkwardly sized bed as his eyes wandered the chamber and his mind tried to soak in all the details about him. He found himself staring at a beam that spanned the opening to another space, a roughly hewn beam with two ropes dangling down from the ends, two ropes that were discolored at the ends.
His feelings of unease and fear, feelings which had stalked him as he'd approached the quarry, now came upon him in full force. His eyes darted madly about the space near the beam, drops of red and pink fluid splatted a nearby wall. The muddied sand beneath the beam was delicately awash in the remnants of small puddles of water whose hues varied from the lightest of rose pinks to the darkness of crimson. Amidst the colors were symbols, symbols meant to be gracefully arrayed, symbols whose shapes had been formed with the clumsiness of a child, their awkward rendering as out of place as the colored fluid in which they were etched.
As Pippin continued to try and distract Anborn's attentions, and as he sought to avoid the casually wandering hands of their guide, he saw Sam's face whiten and his hands shake and feared his friend would faint. He wondered just what his friend had seen to cause him such discomfort and was about to try and go to him as he felt the hands of their host become more adventurous. Pippin, casually moving yet again away from Anborn's hand, which was near to his backside said "Sam, the beddin' tis a perfect fit, tis best we go then....we've more trades awaitin' us." Sam nodded woodenly and gathered the remaining bedding and headed towards the entrance of the room. Anborn looked to to Pippin, his eyes traveling up and down the hobbit, appraising what was before him, and liking what he found. He moved slowly to block Pippin's exit and the hobbit suddenly realized that the man's persistent friendly and personal gestures had been more than just overtures of welcome.
Anborn leered openly at the wide eyed hobbit and backed him up against a wall, lifting a hand to caress Pippins curls then slowly placed his other hand about the Hobbits neck, his hand encircling it fully. "What's yer hurry sweet thing? No time ta play with a real man?" he said getting down on one knee and pulling Pippin's face closer. Pippin gasped as he felt Anborn's grip tighten and his air supply dwindle. Sam, still in shock from his discovery was about to exit the room when he turned to see the man pull Pippin towards him and kiss him full upon the lips. Pippins face was white and his legs trembled as he pushed with all his strength against Anborn's massive chest trying desperately to break free from his grasp.
A sudden image of another cave, and another hobbits fear came to him and he realized why the man's face seemed so familiar. With a bellow of rage that echoed through the caves Sam dropped the remaining bedding and took up a stick of kindling from the nearby hearth. As he dove forward with surprising speed he was able to focus his hatred, to release his pent up fears in one mighty swing and as the stick broke upon Anborns' head the man dropped as a stone to the ground. Sam grabbed Pippin's hand quickly and started pulling him toward's the entrance "master Pippin, are ye all right?" and not waiting for an answer said "we gotta go, now!" As they exited the room Sam cursed himself for not recalling Anborns face sooner. Sam ran, not letting lose Pippins hand, he tried to recall some landmarks from their trip in, but all the tunnels looked the same. Sam felt a moment of panic, they had to get out, had to seek more aid....for he knew now that his master was here somewhere, trapped with the foul likes of men such as these and his blood ran cold. As they ran they met with a sudden obstacle and the two hobbits found themselves in a heap upon the floor as a loud "umpf" was heard before them.
The obstacle turned out to be one of the camp guards and Sam readied himself to fight his way out of the cave when to his surprise Galen offered him his hand "there ye go master halfling, it's sorry I am that I did not hear ya coming...yer feet are much quieter than those of the men about here" he said with a faint smile. Sam pulled Pippin to his feet and still staring at the seemingly friendly man brushed the dirt from his masters cousin. Sam stared suspiciously at the man towering before them " thank you kindly, now we must be back to the wagons, we've more deliveries to make" Sam said as he backed away and headed for another opening. Galen laughed, "now young sir, ye'll not be going far down that tunnel....'tis this way ye'll want ta go" he said as he gestured to a tunnel to his right.
A sudden moan of pain came echoing forth from behind them and Sam blanched in fear " we must go now, thank you kind sir." he said voice trembling as he pulled a still silent Pippin behind him. Galen narrowed his eyes and a sudden thought came to him and he placed a gentle hand on Sam's shoulder "you're his Sam are ye not master halfling?" the burley guard whispered in sudden understanding, as he realized who these procurement officers were and what their true task was.
Sam's eyes flew open wide and his mouth dropped but a moment as he demanded "ye know of him, where is he? Is he safe?" and as he was about to ask more questions another groan and a louder exclamation of pain came forth from the room not too far behind them. Galen looked to the tunnel behind them "yer Frodo's Sam aren't ya?...he's...." just as the guard was about to speak a loud bellow of rage came from behind them. "No time Sam" Pippin hissed, finally coming back to his senses as he attempted to pull Sam forward. Galen nodded "he's right, follow this path, stay to the right and ye'll come out jest fine. I'll see ta him Sam, I'll care for yer master...jest go and get yerself some help" Galen hissed impatiently. With a last forlorn look Sam allowed himself to be pulled from the confines of the cool, dank mustiness of the cave and into the bright sunshine. They did their best to look casual and cooly climbed back atop the wagons, bid Dalmer a "good day" and made their way briskly to the steep path leading out of the quarry.
Galen watched the two hobbits disappear from view and hearing his captain moan again decided there was only one thing to do. He abruptly slammed his head against the wall of the cavern and waited for the blood to flow. He then stumbled to the door of Anborn's room and stood swaying as the blood from his self inflicted wound fell into his eyes. He stumbled to the hunched figure of Anborn and pulled him carefully to his feet. "Them foul halflings took a wack ta my head as well as I tried ta question them. Are ye all right then Captain Anborn? Shall I fetch Toleman?" Galen asked desperately trying to stall and give the hobbits more time to escape.
"Cursed creatures" Anborn growled as he staggered to his feet. Galen helped him to the freshly made bed and sat him down carefully as he handed him a dampened cloth for the growing bump upon his head. "Well I shall get the best of 'em yet, they'll see " Anborn grumbled as he pushed away Galen's offer of help as he stood unsteadily a moment, then still mumbling to himself went off in search of his brother.
Gimli and Merry drove their carts with no outward sign of haste, yet their hearts were racing as they sought the top of the ridge before Anborn awoke. In moments they had crested the top of the hill and all breathed a sigh of relief as they looked back and saw no sign of pursuit. They kept the carts moving, wanting to put as much distance as possible between them and the Quarry. Gimli looked back to the second cart, he noted the redness of Pippin's face and the comforting way Merry threw his arm about his cousins shoulder. Then he looked to Sam, the sturdy hobbit had not spoken since climbing atop the seat and Gimli could see by the shaking of his hands and the paleness of his face that something had been found in the cave. "Master Gamgee" the dwarf tried his best to soften the gruffness of his voice, the result was a sound not unlike the purr of a big cat. Sam continued to stare mindlessly ahead so Gimli tried another tactic, "Sam" he said gently as he reached to his friend's knee.
Sam turned to Gimli, eyes awash with tears "'e's there Gimli...he's there and those foul men are hurtin' him...he won't make it this time" he whispered brokenly. Sam turned away from the dwarf and for the rest of the ride that afternoon, as the wagons sought the passages out of the mountains, Sam spoke no more.
As the sun was sinking into it's nest of rose and violet hues in the notch between the mountains, they made camp. Sam wordlessly went about making the fire, unpacking the cooking gear and readying the supplies to make the evening meal. Merry and Pippin, having spoken with a very worried dwarf, approached Sam and urged him to sit. "Now Sam, the meal will wait....I've heard from Pip about the happenings in the cave and he's fine, now it's you were worrying for Sam" Merry said softly and his eyes once more sought his cousin's, Pippins green eyes twinkled with their usual spirit and Merry breathed a sigh of relief. Sam turned a pained look to Pippin "It's sorry I am Master Pippin that I did not recall the face 'o that monster sooner....mayhap I could've spared ya" he said bitterly. Pippin sat down next to Sam and reached a reassuring hand to the sturdy shoulder beside him " 'tis ok Sam....his kiss was rather like my great Aunt Petunia's...misplaced and unwanted....but I don't think of her kisses so I'm certain I'll think no more of his" Pippin said lightly wanting to relieve Sam's guilt.
Gimli appeared by the side of the fire with more kindling in his hands, he loudly dropped it and shaking the dirt from his hands said loudly "well, what is it then? Give it up Master Gamgee, what did ye see in the cave that is troubling you merry little ones so?" Sam stared a moment into the depths of the fire and picking up a stick scratched the symbols for namarie mae goveanen in the dirt at his feet. Merry looked quizzically towards the words and waited for Sam's translation. Sam sighed heavily and whispered " 'tis elvish for farewell my friends", he reached up to wipe a tear from his eye and turned away from the fire to look at Merry "he's leavin' us...I found these symbols scratched into the dirt beneath a beam where he'd been tormented....his blood was still there amongst his wretched message...he can't bear this torment again...he just can't" Sam said and he buried his face in his hands and began to cry.
Pippin looked to Merry for support and wrapped an arm about Sam's shaking shoulders. "Sam, we've...Mer and me, well we've been through some tough times these past months...I don't know what I'd a done without the comfort of my Merry." Pippin smiled woefully at his cousin and continued "when times got bad Sam, when there seemed no hope, we, well we had each other....we could reach ta one another and somehow we knew that as long as we had each other..well that somehow things would be all right in the end." Sam continued to sob, but was trying to control his tears and Pippin gave him a quiet moment to slow his cries and then continued "but Sam, my dear strong and sturdy Sam....you're carrying all your pain and and his too, for I know ye'd never show Frodo your hurts for fear of makin' his worse." Pippin wiped a tear from his own eye and looked to Merry and Gimli, the dwarf was red faced and wiped his eye muttering about "infernal dust" as he turned away. Pippin swallowed hard and as Sam's sobs gradually subsided said softly "you can't Sam, not even with yer big broad shoulders, your loyalty and love...ya can't carry your pain and his as well. " Sam wiped his sleeve across his eyes and stared into the fire as Pippin pleaded "You must lighten yer burden Sam, tell us what horror, what dark memory brings you both to such agony."
Sam opened his eyes wide and threw his head back, straining his neck so that his eyes saw naught but the stars above. He said a prayer to the lady that he was making the right choice and he began. He told of the darkness of Mordor, the treason of Gollum and the stench of Shelob's lair. He recounted the bravery Frodo displayed as he sought to face down the giant spider and the utter despair he felt as he found his master lying insensible, dead to all appearances and wrapped in the shroud of his gossamer prison. He whispered of his heart rending pain and his desire to seek the ease of death, knowing that the point of Sting was far kinder than a life without his dearest friend. His voice grew hard as he spoke of his desire for revenge and his need to track the malicious evil of Gollum to avenge the waste of a life he held so dear. His hands shook as he told of the taking of Frodo to the tower, of the utter helplessness he felt as they bore away not carrion but the living flesh of his master.
Sam stopped a moment in his tale, he clenched his hands and grimaced, his eyes clouded in pain he told of his discovery of Frodo in the tower. Sam's voice grew soft and gentle with compassion as he continued "I found him after searchin' that labyrinth of death filled tunnels and rooms built far torment... he was lying cold and naked upon the floor, covered with blood and filth he was, bruised and torn from where they used him for their foul sports." he looked to Pippin and Merry, his eyes seeking understanding "he was gutta his head with pain and from their whippings, fear and shame shook him as I tried ta wrap him in the comfort of my arms."
Sam's face, like the many facets of a shattered mirror, reflected the layers of pain and despair he'd experienced that day. He sought to control his emotions once more as his hitching breaths gave way to a once more calm and yet deadened voice " 'e didn't know me, didn't know his Sam...but he saw the release that death would bring him and he reached for Sting....want in' to bring an end to his shame and torment the only way he could." Sam paused to see the horror in Merry's eyes, the pain in Pippin's and the anger in Gimli's and he continued " I near did let him end it there, I wanted ta spare him the future I feared he'd find...I nearly let him end it 'cause I loved 'em too much to have him bear a pain his Sam could not help him with".
The crackle of the fire was the only sound to break the stillness of the night as Sam's voice, numb from pain and soaked in guilt continued "we came back from hell, we came back...or least a ways our bodies did, but Frodo's spirit died in that horrid place..." Sam's voice was thick with unshed tears, his emotions suddenly paralyzed by his self doubt "and I've wondered each and every hour...if I done right by him that day." He stared at the mesmerizing dance of the flames before him "I made him go on, I leant him my strength, my will, my hope...and now, now it's happened again, he's been forced ta endure the lust and greed of others, to relive his most dark memories, his deepest shame...and I don't have no more strength ta give 'im."
Merry blinked back his tears and reached for Sam's hand. Sam looked numbly at the hand holding his " I kept him going through Mordor, through suffering' of both mind and body ye can't even imagine, cause I couldn't live a life without him. I couldn't bear the thought of bein' in a place that didn't have his gentle love of what was good and right in this world." Sam frowned and shook his head " I kept him alive, a treasure I hoped for all ta value as I did, and now...now I gotta let him go. I gotta let him go 'cause I see I was wrong." Pippin opened his mouth to protest, but Sam stopped him with a raised hand "oh no Master Pippin," Sam's voice was strong and grew angrier with each word uttered "I'm right on this, 'cause this world don't deserve 'im, a world that takes away the hope and spirit of it's angels don't deserve to have 'em." A single tear fell from Sam's reddened eyes and he looked imploringly at Merry "I gotta help 'em Master Merry, I gotta help him do...or have...or give up what 'e needs ta to find his final peace. Then, then I gotta find a way ta live without 'em, whilst I find a way ta live with myself after all I done." Sam slowly stood up, letting Merry's hand fall limply from his own, he turned to walk into the darkness of the night but turned to face his companions once more "and I don't know if I can" he whispered to the dark.