First, I hereby claim that none of the characters appearing in this piece of fanfiction belong to me, except for the teacher. They belong to Takahashi Rumiko (Ranma 1/2), Toriyama Akira (DragonBall), Takeuchi Naoko (Sailor Moon) and Kurumada Masami (Saint Seiya). There might also be some cameos.
Now, I want to say that I came to create this because of a simple observation of some facts that are pretty similar in a few series in the universe of manga, and especially animes. Facts that I felt as completely stupid given the supposed circumstances.
I apologize for the way I will write the speech of the teacher, but I tried to transcript the way english would sound like when spoken with a french accent. To this end, I added a few french words. Hopefully, not too many readers will be confused. In any cases, I will give translations for the french words I used at the end of the chapter.
And now, the story itself.
LESSONS OF COMBAT STRATEGY Part 1
The place is an amphitheater, the kind you would find in an university. It is fairly spacious, with an overhead projector and a wide white wall right behind and above the teacher's desk. Right next to the desk is a computer with wires going to the wall and the ceiling.
Currently, the room is filled with students, whose faces are hidden by the lack of bright light in the room. All we know is that there are males and females in the room. They are all talking among themselves, making enough noise so that the voices are unrecognizable.
Then a man enters the amphitheater. He appears to be in his fifties to sixties, with wild greyish white hair, wearing a dark grey suit with blue tie. On his nose are a set of half-moon glasses and he carries a small briefcase.
As he reaches the desk, he opens his suitcase, start the computer and feeds it a CD he took from his briefcase. The projector is turned on, showing the screen of the computer on the wall. This catches the attention of the students who slowly stop their conversation and wait for the teacher.
After a few seconds of silence, the teacher nods before taking the microphone to speak.
"Velcome! I am Professor Schmilblic, and I vill be teaching you a class about battle strategy." he said, with a heavy french accent. "Zis class vill include zree lessons, vhich I hope you vill find très bonnes."
Professor Schmilblic watched the student nod, and nodded himself in aknowledgement. "Now zen, ze lesson begins. I vill now put a video on ze vall. I vant you to vatch it and find ze 'erreurs' the people in it made."
He then manned the computer for a couple of seconds, starting the projector and sending the sequence.
VIDEO SEQUENCE 1
The scene took place in the middle of an immense wasteland. In the middle of it stood a simple fighting arena made of stone squares with a strange spire at each corner.
Around the arena stood a dozen persons, most of them in martial arts costumes or bodysuit and armor. On the fighting surface stood two individuals. One was a tall man in an orange and black martial arts kimono with a large symbol on his back. His hair was blond and standing on end. He currently stood in a defensive stance. Facing him was a strange being. He had a green exoskeleton with darker flakes all over. On his chest and shoulder, the exoskeleton was black and shaped like armor. On his head was a crown-like protusion. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a nasty smirk adorning his face.
"That was a good warm up, Goku." The thing said.
Goku gave a smirk of his own, "I thought so too. Are you ready to get serious now, Cell?"
Cell's smirk widened, "Yes... It is time I showed you my true power."
Cell took a wide stance, legs spread wide and arms apart. His face became a mask of concentration, then he let out a loud kiai. At his yell a large aura surge out, extending a couple of feet from his body and generating powerful winds which buffeted the small audience and his opponent.
The 'mere' humans present, meaning Mr. Satan, his disciples and the reporter crew, were sent flying away by the display of might. The superpowerful humans took a step back, their face expressing their fright at the monster's power. The Saiyajins, Piccolo and #16 stayed stoic before the display, though Trunks showed worry at Cell's potential.
"Do you feel that!" yelled a long-haired man in a similar costume as Goku.
"How can anything have that much energy?" yelled a short, bald man in disbelief.
Vegita and Piccolo merely frowned at the latest threat to the Earth's safety.
After a while, the winds, quaking ground and floating debris stoped for the most part, though the yellow aura around Cell's body did not subside. Cell directed an evil smile at the Super Saiyajin he was facing. "Now we can begin."
Goku nodded. Then both disappeared, reappearing half way between their last known position, trading blows at such speeds that the untrained eye could not follow.
END OF VIDEO SEQUENCE
The projector stopped the diffusion and a light was turned on, allowing the students to see their teacher again.
"Now zen! Did you see vhat it is zese fighters did vrong?" He waited for a student to intervene and give an answer. None came. "No? Vell then, this is vhat they should have done."
Professor Schmilblic fiddled with the computer for a few seconds, and another sequence started.
VIDEO SEQUENCE 2
We see, once again, the desolated wasteland with the fighting arena in its middle. The scene seems indentical, except there is another member in the audience. It is a teenaged boy, sixteen or seventeen year old, wearing a red chinese shirt and black kung-fu pants, as well as fighting slippers. His black hair was done in a pigtail.
"That was a good warm up, Goku." The thing said.
Goku gave a smirk of his own, "I thought so too. Are you ready to get serious now, Cell?"
Cell's smirk widened, "Yes... It is time I showed you my true power."
Cell took a wide stance, legs spread wide and arms apart. His face became a mask of concentration, then he let out a loud kiai. At his yell a large aura surge out, extending a couple of feet from his body and generating powerful winds which buffeted the small audience and his opponent.
But his guttural yell suddenly turned into a strident scream of pain, as his aura winked out of existence! Before him, the teenaged boy had appeared suddenly and kicked Cell viciously between his legs! Cell clutched at his groin, giving a pityful whimper before falling face first on the stone floor, unmoving except for his pained twitching.
Every Z-senshi stared at the pigtailed martial artist with their mouth wide opened in disbelief.
"RANMA! WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!" yelled Krillin with bulging eyes.
"What?" Ranma said in a perplexed tone. "He was leaving a huge opening. He was begging for this!" He justified himself.
"But that's just not done!" yelled Goku in a shocked voice, suppressing a wince when he looked at Cell's twitching body.
Ranma's face turned angry. "We're supposed to protect the planet! What was I supposed ta do? Let'im gather all his power so that we have an even harder time at beating him? What did you always do? Let'em get ta full strength and have yer ass handed to ya!"
He looked around at all the Z-senshi. Goku and Gohan were rubbing the back of their heads in embarrassment and giving out a nervous laugh. Trunks, Yamcha and Krillin had their hand joined at chest level, poking their index fingers together and staring their movements. Tien had his arms straigth against his body, and was staring at the ground, his face a mask of shamed embarrassment.
Ranma's face turned to incredulity, "Don't tell me that it's exactly what you were doing before?"
Piccolo and Vegita both turned their head in a show of scorn, though they developped a large sweatdrop at the back of their head.
(Author's Note: if one were to listen to their thoughts at this point, they would go like "That's exactly what we always did, but I'll be damned before I admit it out loud.")
In the background, near the still motionless Android, one could see two new figures. One was a bald, heavy-set man in a dirty white gi, and handkerchief on his head and glasses. The other was a tall, lean man in a dark brown gi. He had long black hair and a mustache. Both affected expressions of wisdom.
"Watch Tendo. The monster that threatened the world of destruction is lying there, helpless." The bald man, Genma Saotome, said.
his companion, Soun Tendo, nodded. "Indeed Saotome. He is at anyone's mercy." He glanced at his old training partner, "A good opportunity..."
"TO DISPOSE OF HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL!" they yelled in unison before stomping repeatedly savagely on the downed Cell, a huge cloud of dust forming quickly, obscuring the scene.
END OF VIDEO SEQUENCE
The projector once again died down, professor Schmilblic turning on a light.
"Now, did you see vhat vas vrong? Ze Z-soldats just stood zere and vaited while Cell got to full strengz. Instead, zey should have uzed zat time to hit him and vin ze fight before it commence!"
Nods of understanding could be seen from the darkness in which the student stood.
"Never forget zat vhen your enemy give an 'trou' in his defense, you alvays should take 'avantage' of it." the professor looked at his watch. "Vis shall conclude our first lesson. We vill meet next veek. Have a good day."
The man gathered his computer, before exiting the room, leaving the students to the darkness of the amphitheater and their heated conversation.
TBC
Author's note: This concludes the first chapter of this short fanfic. This one was dedicated to the way the fights in DragonBall Z always seem to turn out. The next chapter will focus on Sailor Moon.
French words:
- très bonnes: translates as "very good" or "very nice", depending on context
- erreurs: mistakes
- soldats: soldiers
- commence: conjugation of the verb "commencer", meaning "to begin"
- trou: hole
- avantage: advantage