I will spare you the disclaimer. If you really, really, just HAVE to have one, read it on the previous chapters! Oh, and this is where Saint Seiya comes in! Apologies to Kurumada Masami!
The teacher with the strange speech is still here, be cautious.
LESSONS OF COMBAT STRATEGY Part 3
Again the room is a large, dark amphitheater. Again, the students are only visible as figures that can only tell if they are male or female. The computer and projector are already activated from the previous class.
However, today the students are very agitated, speaking a lot and creating a strong background noise preventing from discerning any of the voices. They are waving their arms animatedly to illustrate whatever point they are trying to make to their neighbor(s).
Professor Schmilblic enters the amphitheater in a hurry. He sets down his suitcase and waits for the students to acknowledge his presence.
After a few minutes of non-stop talking, the teacher took the microphone, an upset expression on his face. "Students! Class has started 5 minutes ago! I ask zat you keep quiet! I know zat dis is ze last time I give a cours to you, but it's no reason to disrupt class. If you don't keep quiet, I'll have to reconsider my choix not to give a test on my subject!"
After hearing this, the student gradually stop their activities, the fastest one to stop shushing their classmates. After a minute, the amphitheater is so quiet that one couldhave heard a fly, had there been one in the room.
Pr. Schmilblic nodded in satisfaction once silence reigned. "Alright. As I said, vis is ze last time we vill meet. Like before, I show you a video, and then explain what actions are not good for ze situation."
Feeding the computer yet another CD taken from the suitcase of the desk, the white haired man started a sequence.
VIDEO SEQUENCE 1
Two young men are facing off in a devastated greek-style temple. One is clad in red with a white armor in tatter, barely offering any measure of protection. he has brown hair and eyes, and seems to have been through hell and back. His opponent is unharmed, wearing a golden armor in perfect condition, his helmet held under his left arm.
"This is it, Seiya! I will not allow you to reach Athena's statue! Your little Saori will die in a few minutes, so just wait for the end." Saga, the Gemini Gold Saint, was jubilating at his imminent victory.
"Never! I will save Saori, even if it's the last thing I do! Pegasus Ryusei Ken!" In an act of defiance, the Pegasus Saint threw a flurry of cosmo-enhanced punches at his opponent.
However, this was for naught as the Gold Saint laughed them off, either dodging or letting them hit his cloth harmlessly. "Give it up Seiya. You are just a bronze Saint, much too weak to challenge a gold Saint. It's already something of a miracle that you managed to reach this place."
"Give up? Never! Take this!" Seiya let loose with yet another Ryuseiken. Again, the Gemini Saint had no trouble negating the attack.
"You disappoint me Seiya... You ought to know since then that an attack never works twice on a Saint who can analyze it. I think it's time to get rid of the last renegate... I took away your senses, now I'll simply take your life!" that being said, the white haired young man ran at impossible speeds at his stumbling adversary, fist first.
Saga seemed to disappear from the viewer's sight, and almost immediatly fist impacts appeared on Seiya before he was sent flying into a pillar, making a deep impression in it while more pieces of his armor shatter, flying everywhere.
END VIDEO SEQUENCE 1
Pr. Schmilblic turned off the projector for a moment before turning to the class. "Now zen, what is going vrong in vis sequence?"
A student raised a hand. "He tried to take head on an opponent much stronger than he is?"
"Zat is true. But it's not the main problem. While it's true he is at a désavantage, he still won in ze end. He almost died doing it too... Any other idea?"
Another hand, "Shouldn't he have tried to set a trap?"
"A good idea, but in zis case, it's impossible. Any other proposition?" the teacher waits a little while. "Vell zen, here is a solution." He turns the projector on again.
VIDEO SEQUENCE 2
Again, we see the long, whitehaired young man in golden armor facing off an opponent. However, this time his opponent has blue eyes, black hair tied in a pigtail emerging from the white helmet he wears. His clothes and armor are in much better shape than his counterpart's, and he appears to be much more healthy.
"You surprise me, Ranma. I wouldn't have thought that a mere bronze Saint would reach this temple in such a good shape. Did you let your friends do all the dirty work, and get killed?"
"Yadda, yadda... Feh. Your little Gold Saint weren't so tough. Taurus was dumb, Leo too easy to trick while under your mind control... I wanted to fight the others, but Shiryu, Hyoga and Shun told me ta hurry. But now I get to kick YOUR stupid, arrogant ass!"
Saga's eyes narrowed dangerously. "You have a lot of guts to say such words in front of a god!"
"Yeah, yeah. Well, news break for ya. I've ALREADY beaten a self-proclaimed god! Ryusei Ken!" A flurry of blow was launched, but all were dodged or blocked.
"Too slow boy! For all those big words, you don't hav- OOOOOWWWWWW!" Ranma used the time while Saga was gloating to sock him one where it hurts.
"Ya really should shut yer trap when you fight. You're leaving yourself wide OPEN!" Ranma ran at his opponent at tremendous speed. "Ryuseiken..."
"An attack never work twice on a Saint! You will pay for your audacity!"
"REVISED! Winged Horse's Stampede!" Instead of a wide spread flurry of fists sent from afar, Ranma threw hundreds of punches in very localized area, all of them unprotected by the mighty Gemini gold cloth.
Saga, having not suffered this much in a long time, crumbled to the ground, apparently unconscious... AFTER having gone threw a couple of pillars and causing an indentation in the third one.
END VIDEO SEQUENCE 2
"Zo you see? Seiya's main problem is Zat he let his opponent gloat whithout acting, even tough an opening Vas offered. And Zen, he always attacks vith ze same move. Zo after a couple of times, his moves are easily stopped. Meanvhile, in ze same situation Ranma took the opening given, and vhen his attack didn't work, he used another. I don't know if he created it before, or did it on the spot, but he still made up a new attack!"
"So we really shouldn't count on a single move to win?"
"Of course not! If you uze ze same move over and over, zomeone vill just have to learn of it, and you are sure to lose. And zis apply to tactics too. if you use ze same tactic all ze time, it vill work for a time, but in the end someone vill learn how to counter it, and you're doomed."
Many heads nodded in understanding among the students, while others were chatting up a storm, as silently as possible.
"Since it IS ze last time we see each other, I vill now give you another film. Zis one is easier to analyse. I expect you to do it all yourself!"
VIDEO SEQUENCE 3
We see Seiya, again in bad shape with tattered pegasus cloth, laboriously climbing an apparently unending stairway. High above him is a man in dark armor looking at him with a threatening expression.
"You will not go any further, Seiya!" the unknown warrior yelled, landing in front of the battered young man, ready to deliver the finishing blow. However a chain comes from nowhere, trapping his arm and preventing him to deal the final punch.
"You won't stand in his way!" It is Shun, the Andromeda Saint. his cloth is in as bad a condition as Seiya's, his chains seemingly barely holding.
"Go on Seiya! I'll cover you! go save Athena!" Hyoga, the blue-eyed, blond Cygnus Saint ran to stand in between Seiya and his enemy, spreading his arms to shield his friend.
Seiya nods at his friends, and with a boost of strength from their devotion, he started to run up the stairs. As soon as he has passed the darkclad warrior, this one thows an energy bolt at Hyoga, sending the blond youth tumbling down in pain.
END VIDEO SEQUENCE 3
"Zo... Vhat can you tell me?"
"Sensei, I think Hyoga should have blasted the bad guy while Shun held him with his chain."
"Very good! You are perfectly right! Why simply shield a friend by taking a blow, vhen you can get rid of ze villain?"
"Sensei! Seiya should have attacked too, right?"
"True as vell! Seiya could have attacked Lucifer's warrior when he started to run up ze stairs again! An opening vas given, and he never took it! I'm very proud of you! Now, just for ze sake of habit, here is ze solution video."
VIDEO SEQUENCE 4
The scene is the same as in the previous video. The warrior lands right in front of Seiya, and is about to deal the final blow to the wounded Saint.
"You won't stand in his way!" again, Shun sends his chain to stop the evil one from attacking Seiya. But this time, as the warrior look in disbelief at his trapped arm, he fails to see the fist sailing into his face. Well, at least until it impacts with his head, sending him to the ground, dazed. A young man with his black hair in a pigtail and a tattered Cygnus cloth stands over the down warrior, ready to deal more pain.
"Go on Seiya! We'll deal with mister "it's-so-easy-to-beat-wounded-opponents"! Go save Athena!"
"Right! Thanks Shun, Ranma!"
As Seiya runs up the stairs, he carefully tramples the down evil fighter, right before Ranma and Shun starts to beat down their hapless enemy, soon joined by Shiryu and Ikki. The group disappear in a cloud of dust from which cries of pain echo every so often, all coming from the victim's throat.
END VIDEO SEQUENCE 4
"Zis concludes our classes of combat strategy. I'm afraid we vill not see each other again, but I leave some documents here if you vant to learn more about tactics to use in a fight. Farevell!"
Pr. Schmilblic picks up his suitcase, and leaves the amphitheater, setting a pile of papers on a table on the way.
EPILOGUE
Light finally comes in the amhitheater, showing the students for the first time.
They are characters from various animes, mangas and series, all of which have something to do with fighting. We can see a good part of the Dragonball crew, including Goku, Vegeta and Piccolo. Among the students, there's also the Urameshi team from Yu-Yu-Hakusho, the Sailor Senshi, some of the Gundam pilots, and many others.
One of them goes down to check the documents, and reads the title for everyone. "Want to learn how to deal with any foe? to devastate your idiot challenger? come to the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts! (main teachers: Ranma and Genma Saotome, motto: "No tactic is too low to win!")"
"..." comes from the assembled students.
Vegeta seems to teleport to the table and grabs a document, seemingly about to go super saiyajin. "WHAT! Those weak humans pretend they can teach us something about fighting?"
"You know, considering how this Ranma person fought in those videos, I think they could teach us plenty..." the random student would have gone further, had the saiyajin prince not directed a murderous glare at him.
"Humph! They're just a bunch of pretentious weaklings! I don't see why we should waste our time with such idiocies!" With these words, the saiyajin left the room. A few students noted that, despite his words, he had not gotten rid of the advertisement.
Once a good distance away from the amphitheater, Vegeta stopped next to a mail box, looked right and left, and upon seeing that no one was around, filled the from attached to the ad in record time before posting it. The whole thing took three seconds.
Once again checking to see if anyone had seen him, and finding no one, Vegeta walked away from the mailbox, his scowl replaced by a satisfied smile. Soon, Kakarot would lie at his feet, defeated!
END
It's finished. Now, before you all send me death threats for turning your favorite characters into clowns, remember that this was done merely for fun. To be honest, I liked all of the shows and mangas I named in this fanfiction, but after watching them again, with a more mature eye, I noted many things that would have been ubforgiveable mistakes in a fight, especially one where the fate of the world is hanging to the heroes' actions. As such, I really resented Vegeta when he allowed (helped even!) Cell to achieve his perfect state. Similarly, I was striken by the stupidity of the actions from the Sailor Senshi or the Saint Seiya cast in some situation. On the other hand, I thought that the Ranma 1/2 cast was fighting more "smartly" despite having no epic goal to fulfill. So I wanted to show how I thought Ranma would fight if he was put into another's place.
Anyhow, I hope you like the whole thing!
See ya all! (maybe... )