Ooh! A review! That means an update! But, erm, only cause I had this written waaaaaaay back in April, lol ;) See how quickly updates show up with reviews? lol

Thanks to people who have reviewed, and thanks to Spee and Jes! Remember, visit OtJ (link in profile)...join, if you feel so inclined ;) The idea for this came from a discussion Jes and I had, then started a while later on OtJ.

R&R! Beware the squick!

Twenty minutes later, when her headache had subsided, Nicole followed the others into the room where BA was setting up the amplifier.

"How's it coming, BA?" Hannibal asked as he walked into the room.

Without looking up, the Sergeant replied, "almost done, Hannibal. Another five minutes."

Nicole stood in the doorway, taking in the various items near BA - a lot of them looked familiar. "You went through my car," she muttered unhappily.

"We did," Hannibal admitted with a grin.

"Wonderful," she mumbled irritably as she walked over to the window to look out at the ocean. After a moment, she began to fidget impatiently as they waited for BA to finish. Just as she was about to ask how much longer it would be for the third time in as many minutes Tobin's voice came over the speakers. She quickly crossed the room and stood behind and to the right of where BA was seated at the desk; Murdock stood on the left and Hannibal stood at her right.

"That's her," a familiar voice confirmed.

Nicole grinned ferally. "Jack Gladwin," she explained to the team. "The other agent that was on assignment when the blast went off." Her grin faded and she was silent for a moment. "This pretty much confirms that he's the one who sold us out, and..."

Murdock reached over and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

"Are you certain you got everything?" Gladwin asked. "I'm almost certain she would have planted more than one bug."

"Smarter than I would have given him credit for," Nicole murmured with a smirk.

"She tried to," Tobin replied. It was almost possible to hear the smug grin in his voice. "We caught her putting one in the phone. On her way out she made a decent attempt to plant another one - on me - by falling into me 'accidentally.' As I said, a decent attempt."

Hannibal looked questioningly at her. "I planted one in the stapler - nobody ever looks there," she explained.

"Who were the men that broke her out?" another voice asked.

The new speaker continued on, but whatever he said was lost on Nicole as his voice took her back into her memories.

As she sunk to the ground, reality becoming lost to her, she was dimly aware of Colonel Smith calling her name and a pair of arms around her shoulders easing her down.

Then all she could hear was distant shouting and screaming, and all she felt was numbness.

She was naked, that much she knew. The cold bit at her skin and she was seated on the cold, hard ground, her knees to her chest for added warmth. The sound of the large metal door opening made her look up, only to see the arrogant smirk of the man who had violated and humiliated her more times than she cared to count. Her breath caught in her throat, but she was determined not to let him see her fear - not this time.

A gentle shaking and the sound of someone calling her name brought her slowly back to reality. Her father, sitting beside her, held her in his arms while the others watched with concern, but she didn't want to face any of them yet, to deal with it, so she turned her head and buried her face in her father's chest. He held her close and whispered soothing things to her as she silently cried herself to sleep.

As soon as Nicole had fallen asleep Hannibal stood up with her in his arms. "Look familiar to anyone else?" he muttered.

BA and Face nodded quietly, while Murdock quietly replied, "very."

"I'm going to go put her in one of the bedrooms," Hannibal announced. "BA, stay here and monitor that bug. Face, Murdock, follow me."

Face quickly jogged out ahead of Hannibal and held the door open for him as he walked through with Nicole. Gently laying his daughter on the bed, Hannibal turned to Murdock and Face. "Stay with her. She might want to talk when she wakes up, and somehow I think you two stand a better chance of getting her to open up."

The two men nodded quietly and sat down on the two chairs at the small table in the corner of the room. Hannibal cast one last look at the girl sleeping on the bed before leaving to help BA. As much as it pained him, she was more likely to be comfortable with a smaller group, and with people who had been through what she had.

She was being held down on the ground while the man hovered above her, a wicked gleam in his eye. Not this time, she repeated to herself. No fear, no crying, not this time. He liked it when she cried, but if she wasn't enjoying herself, she was determined that he wouldn't either. Not this time. The words were a mantra she kept repeating over and over in her head.

As she felt him enter her she squeezed her eyes shut and closed her ears to his taunts. He wouldn't leave until she had climaxed; he wanted her to be utterly humiliated, and what better way to do that than to make her think she had enjoyed it? And that was why she couldn't break. She wouldn't break. He didn't deserve the satisfaction.

The laughter of the man's comrades grew louder as did his voice in her ears, and she felt a tear stream down her face. Finally she couldn't take it anymore; she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Suddenly Lieutenant Peck was sitting on the bed beside her, telling her everything was okay, that it had only been a nightmare. It took a moment to get her bearings, she was confused.

The beach house, she was at the beach house.

She brought a hand to her face and rubbed at her eyes as she took deep breaths, then she felt Peck's hand rubbing her back, soothing her.

The sound of the door opening caused her to look up as Captain Murdock came into the room with a glass of cold water and sat on the other side of the bed, offering it to her.

She accepted the glass with both hands and brought it to her lips, trying to stop the shaking. "It was only a dream," she muttered to herself, bringing the side of the cold glass to her forehead. It felt freezing cold because of the ice, almost painfully cold, but it felt real, so she kept it there for a while longer.

"You all right, muchacha?" Murdock asked, eyeing her with concern.

Nicole nodded. "Where's…um…?" She had no idea what she was supposed to call Hannibal now.

Murdock inclined his head to the door, and replied, "he's still out there with BA. monitoring that bug you planted."

Again she nodded. Looking up at both of their faces, she saw how worried they had been and still were. "I'm fine," she muttered. "Sorry for, um…" Sorry for what? Screaming? Had she screamed? She didn't know. Sorry for worrying them, maybe? She sighed and, bringing the cup away from her forehead, took another sip of water.

"It's okay," Face told her softly. "Murdock and I have both been through it before."

"From your side, too," Murdock added.

Nicole snapped her head in his direction. Did they know what she had been through? Did he just say they had been though it too? She searched his eyes, looking for some kind of answer. When she found it her eyes went wide and, after looking in Face's eyes for confirmation, she dropped the glass of ice water on the bed.

"Damn it," she swore as the ice cold water soaked through the blanket and onto her legs. She jumped off the bed and grabbed a dry corner of the blanket to dry her legs, but it was no good, her pants were soaked with cold water.

Face picked up the wet blanket and said, "don't worry about the blanket. I'll go stick it in the dryer, and, while I'm at it, see if I can find you a dry pair of pants."

Looking a little stressed out, she nodded and muttered, "sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Face assured her gently as he made his way to the door. "I'll be back in a little bit with a pair of pants for you."

"I'd like to know how it is he would know there were pants for me when this isn't even his house," Nicole muttered with a nervous laugh as soon as the door shut.

Murdock smiled slightly and said, "that's Faceman for you."

She quickly returned the smile, but then started pacing a little. "So, um, what, exactly, do you think…happened…to me?" she asked nervously as she stopped her pacing to look at him.

His expression became deadly serious, with a hint of sadness, as he quietly replied, "abuse, torture, humiliation…rape…"

The last word made Nicole hang her head and look away. "I thought I'd moved past it," she muttered. Moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, she buried her face in her hands.

He sat down on the bed beside her. "It's a hard thing to do," he muttered as he reached over to rub her back gently as Face had done.

"You said you've been through it from my side?" she asked, looking him in the eyes. Part of her still couldn't believe it. In all honesty the idea that someone had put Murdock and Peck through the same things she had been through scared her. At the same time, though, it gave her hope because they were dealing with it, and if they could, she could.

After a brief hesitation, he breathed, "yeah." He closed his eyes and stopped rubbing her back as he pulled her close in a one armed hug, needing someone, anyone, while he relived it in his mind. "You know, those POW camps weren't exactly Club Med."

"Yeah," she agreed softly, leaning her head on his shoulder. "How did you deal with it?"

"Honestly?"

She nodded.

"I drank. A lot." He sighed. "Talked to some shrinks, too - Richter's helped a lot. It was a lot harder before him, he was the only one who saw through me. Knows where I'm coming from."

Just then Face walked in with a pair of dry pants, but stopped short upon seeing Murdock and Nicole. He stepped forward and handed Nicole the pants, then muttered something about helping Hannibal and BA before leaving once again.

"You want me to leave so you can change?" Murdock muttered.

Shaking her head Nicole replied, "nope. Forgot I was even wet." She closed her eyes for a second and was immediately taken into the past once more. Images and feelings she thought she had long left behind flashed in her minds eye. With a startled gasp she opened her eyes, and forced herself to breathe deeply and calm down.

Murdock pulled her a little closer and started rubbing her arm gently, and asked, "do you wanna talk about it?"

"Is 'no, I'd rather forget about it' a good answer?" she mumbled with a sad smile.

"Sounds like a fairly normal answer to me."

"Good," she mumbled, bringing her legs up on the bed and curling them underneath herself. They were both silent for a while, then Nicole spoke up. "It was one of the first assignments I went on," she confessed softly. "Must have been…geez, twelve years ago. I was in a concrete cell, they took my clothes…it was so cold in there." She shivered, despite the warm weather, at the sudden cold she felt from the memory. "It was always the same man…happened a lot, not sure exactly how many times…it all sort of blurred together. I don't even know how long I was there. When I got back, I was told I had been missing for a week, but…"

"You don't remember," Murdock supplied knowingly.

Nicole shook her head. "Nope. It's all just a blur. Comes back in flashes still, though. Had to talk to a shrink when they found out what had happened - wouldn't let me back on duty until I talked to and was cleared by said shrink. Basically, I just went along with it all until I was cleared for duty - wasn't too happy about it, though."

They were both quiet for a moment, then Nicole spoke again. "Haven't talked to anyone like this in a long time," she admitted quietly.

"Feel any better?" he asked softly.

She thought about it for a minute, then replied, "yeah. I do." It was strange to think she could feel this much better after talking to someone who was essentially a complete stranger about something so personal, but the fact remained that she did indeed feel better.

Her legs started feeling a little sore, so she adjusted her position a little. "Don't have to go back out there yet, do we?"

"No, we don't," he assured her, resting his head on hers. "Just let me know when you're ready."

With a nod she wrapped an arm around behind him and hugged herself closer to him for comfort, then closed her eyes and tried to relax.