Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon

Chapter 8: Carousel

Being a teenager is like being on a carousel. It seems like your spinning out of control and no one can slow you down. You don't know when to get off nor do you know which way to turn.

"Serena where are we going" Darien said as he followed her down the hall of the hospital as her long blonde hair swayed side to side.

"We need to find Rei"

"Why"

"I want to make sure Rei didn't do anything drastic. I know her more than any one else does and believe me, she seemed pretty pissed when she stormed out of here. If Thomas is dead right now, there's only one person who would do something like this" Serena turned back around to go through the sliding doors of the hospital as Darien pulled out his car keys.

As they drove down the road Serena continued to dial Rei's cell phone.

At the lake

Rei was still comforting Amy who was scared out of her mind still.

"Ring- Ring" She heard her cell phone in her purse go off. With Amy still crying, Rei went over to pick it up.

"Hello" Rei said in an annoyed tone.

"Rei" Serena said apprehensively over the phone.

"Oh Sere it's you, hey listen I have to come over today okay. Just leave the window screen open"

"When will you be over?"

"I don't know just leave it open" Rei said about to hang up the phone so she could tend to Amy, who was really starting to annoy her now.

"Rei"

"Yeah"

"I love you okay" Serena said as her heart broke inside, now feeling as if Rei did what Serena's mind had been saying the whole day.

"I love you too" Rei said hanging up.

Back in the car

Serena saw that Rei had hung up and slid her phone back into her purse. Serena looked up at the now cloudy sky, almost indicating that the heavens were telling her it was going to be another fucked up day. Serena put hands over her face and started to cry.

'Why did Rei have to do this? Why did Lita have to get shot?" Why was I even put on this earth?' With those thoughts Serena started to cry even more.

"Hey, hey, Sere what's wrong" Darien said putting a hand on her shoulder while trying to focus on the road and her at the same time.

"Everything" She said like a confused and upset little girl trying to find her way back home. Darien pulled over to the side of the road and took the keys out of the ignition. With the silence and just the pattern as cars flying past them on the road, Serena's weeping became clearer.

"Tell me what's on your mind" Darien said in a comforting voice leaning over to comfort her. Serena wiped her face off from her tears and began to speak.

"I'm sick of everything Darien" She said as he held her in his arms like a child. He stroked her hair gently as she laid her head into his chest feeling soothed by him.

"I just want to get off" She said softly.

"What do you mean" Darien said before kissing her head.

"Off this carousel. It's like I've been spinning on it all my life and it just won't stop. I'm so tired of spinning and I just want to get off" She said as her last tear fell. As Darien rubbed her back and comforted her, she thought of a year ago when she thought things just couldn't get worse…

She was lying in her bed as her parents shouted back and forth, alcohol spilling on the floors and walls as her father beat her mother harder against the wall. She bangs, shouts, and screams, were beginning to get worse in Serena's mind that they seemed to echo and wouldn't stop echoing in her mind. She put her hands over her ears to stop the screams in her head, but they kept getting louder. She reached for her CD player and looked at it. It was a blank CD. Serena didn't really care what was on it, as long as it was loud enough to drown out her mother and father, it didn't matter. She pressed play, and anticipation went through her body as she wondered what was on the CD. The melody started up after a few seconds. She knew this song. It was one of her favorites.

she can't hide no matter how hard she tries
her secret disguised behind the lies
and at night she cries away her pride
with eyes shut tight staring at her inside
all her friends know why she can't sleep at night
all her family asking is she alright
all she wants to do is get rid of this hell
well all she's got to do is stop kiddin herself
she can only fool herself for so long

I'm too weak to face me
(she can only fool herself)

I never know just why you run so far away far away from me…

Serena's tears started to fall faster and more at every lyric that made its way out of the speaker. She knew it was her. She was hiding behind her lies and the truth. Everyone thought she was alright, but she wasn't she was bleeding. She was bleeding damn it and no one could see it. Serena held the ear phones tight to her skull like she wanted to go deaf or rip something. She closed her eyes and shut them tight and screamed loud…

Late in the evening

Serena breathed heavy as she found herself in her pink bed underneath her canopy. She looked at the window and Rei was knocking on it so that Serena would wake up and let her in. Serena got out of bed and opened the window for her friend.

"Damn I thought you were supposed to leave the window open" Rei said as she put her purse on the floor of Serena's room.

"Yeah I'm sorry" Serena said scratching her head. She stopped as she watched Rei pull out cash from her purse.

"Rei where did you get all that?" Serena asked as she looked at the bundles of cash Rei had stuffed into her purse.

"I went out tonight and turned a few tricks for the money"

"Rei I thought you stopped that" Serena said concerned about her best friend.

"I did for awhile and then I had to start back up again"

"Why" Serena said still afraid for her friend.

"Cause I fucking need the money Sere. I don't live in the kind of house you do if you haven't noticed" She said shoving the money back into her purse. Serena sat on her bed and looked at Rei look at her money unsure of how she would spend it.

"What did you do today" Serena asked knowing that Rei would avoid the real answer. Rei stopped and stood still. She looked at Serena as Serena's tiny little smile that she had faded even more.

"Why Sere, you think I killed Thomas" Rei said getting angry.

"I didn't say that I just…"

"No because you no what I shot that fukin' mother fucker" Rei said getting closer to Serena, making Serena's heart beat faster and harder.

"That's why I got to stay here for awhile. I'm going to move some where, you know. Away from this god damn hell hole" Rei said making a pallet on the floor.

"Rei why the hell did you shoot him" Serena asked out of curiosity.

"Because he shot Lita, justice should be served"

"Well God will do that"

"What the hell is it with people and God today" Rei said laying her head down hard on the soft pillow, turning her body the opposite direction of Serena's location.

"Well stay as long as you need I guess" Serena said as she turned her tiny light off in the room and laid her head on her pillow to fall asleep.

It was a few hours later and Serena still couldn't fall asleep. She was sleepy yet she fought the sleep that wanted to take over, because she knew that every time she fell asleep, nightmares would come to her mind. Little did she know Rei was having the same problem…

Hey guys, thanks so so so so so so so … much for the reviews it is so flippin awesome. I want to recognize the song that I put in this chapter it is "Carousel" By Linkin Park. They're my favorite band and I had to use this song because it means so much to me when I was going through a difficult time in my life. (tear) Oh enough with that. I'll update soon.