Somewhere in the Middle: Akira

This is the last in sequence. It ties the title back to the story and hopefully shows a maturing of both of the characters. I did have a "Sai returns" ending planned but it was just too much. Maybe I'll change it to an AU piece instead. I really liked writing this one. It seemed to create itself. Hopefully you will all enjoy it as much as I do.

Disclaimer: I don't own HNG. Yumi Hotta does, and she is the best!

I sat before the go-ban absently shuffling the go-ke through my fingers, thinking. I suppose that I can't begin to imagine what Shindo is feeling and has been going through. I feel badly that I can't do more for him, I feel so helpless.

He says that it is enough that I have stood by him and seems very grateful. That just makes me feel ashamed, though I don't know why. I'm just glad that I don't feel as angry all the time now, like I did before, but Father helped me understand why I did.

Father says that what I am feeling is normal. He says that when something happens to those they are close to that it affects everyone around them. Sort of like ripples on a lake.

Shindo is the stone in the middle that was dropped, and I, because of our relationship, am affected by the resulting ripples that spread out across the lake from him.

Father said I felt more affects from the ripples than most other people because I am one of the closest to him. He said that he and mother are affected as well by the waves, but that they were hit by the larger, less powerful ones than I was. Father says grief is like that. He said that he was proud of the way I faced the ripples. He said that I pushed closer to Shindo, the source, and braved the harshest of them.

I was touched that my father said he was proud of me. I felt ashamed though, I certainly didn't feel brave. Right now, I feel as if I had been swept away by Shindo's waves.

Father says that that is normal too, to feel this way, so tired. He said it was caused by my pushing my way forward to Shindo through the waves, even as they tried to shove me back.

"All of life is like this," He said. "whenever something happens to us, whether it is good or bad. It causes these ripples and the people around us are affected by them. Anew baby in the family; when a friend does well on a test; when your favorite team wins a sporting event; the ripples those things create all affect us.

I remembered asking father why I hadn't felt this way when he had been in the hospital last summer. Shouldn't I have been affected by his ripples then too? Father had merely looked at me with his wise eyes and answered.

"You were the one who was in the center then, Akira."

Father gave me a lot to think about that day. I was trying to relate my own experiences and feelings from last summer to what Shindo was going through now, and it seemed to help, a little.

I began to realize that there was nothing I could do to help make everything better. There was nothing that was ever going to be the same as it was again for Shindo. The way that he perceived everything had changed.

I began to place the go-ke haphazardly on the board. It's strange having Shindo here. Not strange in a bad way, but strange, odd. He has lived with my family since his grandfather's last collapse, five weeks ago. It's been just three months since his parents' funerals, and nearly a month since his grandfather's.

"Do you want to play a game?"

I looked up quickly at the when I heard the sound of Shindo's voice. The bleach banged Go player stood before me wearing shorts and a bright yellow shirt with a giant "5" emblazoned on it in black. It had been a while since I had seen Shindo in one of his signature shirts.

"Yes, I would like a game." I responded happily and began to sweep the stones from the go-ban. As far as I was aware Shindo had not played Go at all since the accidents.

He knelt before me and I handed the bowl across to him. "Shall we nigiri?" I asked smiling.

Shindo smiled faintly in return and placed a handful of white stones on the board. I responded with one stone and he counted. Swiftly we exchanged the bowls and settled them partially beneath the go-ban.

"Onigashimas."

"Onigashimas."

Shindo held the dark stone between his fingers, rubbing it lightly before setting it n the 3-4 star point. I replied eagerly with an identical move in the opposite corner. Shindo and I rarely strayed from our opening pattern when we played. I felt heartened by the familiarity, as we placed the next several stones.

Shindo held the next go-ke in his hand and gazed at it for a moment before setting it in the center of the board. I was slightly surprised and hesitated for a moment considering my next move.

"We are creating the universe."

"What?" I asked. We didn't usually talk during our games but I wasn't going to point that out. If Shindo wanted to speak I would encourage him. He had been uncharacteristically quiet for the last few months.

"The universe," He stated again looking into my eyes. He gestured at the board between us and I looked down. Our stones were covering the nine 'star' points on the goban. "I used to pretend that I was a god, high above the go board, creating the universe with my stones." He smiled sheepishly. "It was easier to remember the moves, at first, if I thought about it that way."

I nodded, not really understanding, and looked at the goban. Then, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine the scene, as if from a great height. It looked different this way.

"This is our universe," Shindo was saying again. "the one that you and I create together, Touya. It always starts with the same eight stars and then changes from there. Sometimes, it's a little different, but essentially it's always the same."

I open my eyes again and look at the ninth stone sitting in the center. "That's you." I say, pointing at the stone. "You're in the center."

Shindo looks at me and then at the slate stone. Slowly, he smiles. "Are you trying to say that I am the center of your universe, Touya?"

I think he expects me to argue with him, to strike back with words, but I don't. I think of the ripples instead and look at the stones near the ends of the board. I wonder how the ripples will affect those that are farthest from the source. Not very much.

I can feel our pattern changing to something new as I lift a go-ke from the bowl.

"This time you are." I answer him, placing my stone down decisively on the board. He looks surprised. "That is me." I tell him pointing at the stone I had just played in the 9-10 position, directly beside the center point, but closest to my two corners start stones.

Hikaru looks at the board and seems to understand. He nods his head and reaches for his go-ke.

"This time."

That is it. Fini! No more SiM! I hope you all enjoyed it. (If you did a review wouldn'y be remiss.) I greatly appreciate the reviews I did receive. Thank you, to those people. I am so excited about HnG being released in English anime form next week. I have the subtitled Japanese version, but I am curious to see the dubbed one as well.

Hopefully I'll have a few stand alone stories out soon in this genre, but I may do a couple Prince of Tennis fics next.

Thank you again for reading!