Collateral Damage
By: LittleStrawbaby
Rating: R
Pairing: Lee/Laura
A/N: Woo hoo! Let's hear it for Season Two! Yes, there be spoilers ahead. This is a sequel to "Feels So Right."
No! I want to cry when he announces that he's going to fight the Cylons. But the words stick in my throat—I can't deny him this. This is about retribution for his father, for our people and I have no business telling him he cannot, should not, take his revenge—for in my heart, I want my Captain Apollo to annihilate them, to make them pay for what they've done.
I wish that we weren't surrounded by prying eyes and ears; I want the opportunity to confide the things I have concealed from him, and I fear that I've allowed the moment to pass us by, like grains of sand slipping through an hourglass.
He is looking at me with the same expression he wore the first time we made love, wonder and something far deeper, and memory hits me like a gale force wind and I inhale sharply at the clarity of it. We are sprawled, half-naked on the sofa in my office, our bodies still joined, sharing lazy kisses, his hands are in my hair and my own hands still clutch his shoulders, amazed by the things he makes me feel; hope despite the odds and a willingness to give myself over to another without further thought, despite my fear.
"Promise me it will always be like this," he whispers against my lips, his bright eyes searching mine.
"It will always be like this," I promise, my gaze never wavering, my heart pounding in a painful rhythm as I struggle with my instinct to flee.
That was the closest we'd ever come to saying the words aloud. They scared the hell out of me yet brought with them a completeness to my soul that I'd never known before. I cupped his face in my hands and smiled. I would never feel this again, so I decided then to let go and allow myself to be carried along.
Now we are sharing the same look, conveying so much more than words ever could. I love you, I want to scream but I remain silent, praying that he knows by the look in my eyes. And I know he must because his eyes convey the same message.
I want to pull him to me, to hold him close and kiss his lips, to draw reassurance from his embrace, but I cannot. I must settle for this look, I must draw the comfort I long for from his eyes. And it just isn't fair, that he must risk himself, that I am unable to say to him the things I now know I must.
I pray, an activity I haven't done since high school, that the Gods damn the Cylons for what they've done and I wonder suddenly, when I stopped being a conscientious objector.
As we part with a long, last look, I decide it must've been the day the Cylons nearly snuffed out humanity. As we are sneaking through the corridors of Galactica, making our way to sickbay, I decide I don't give a damn—it's collateral damage.
The End