I was panicking like mad. I was about to go on and read my best poem out and I had Kalim's Mother's shopping list instead. I was real mad at Kalim for leaving useless notes hanging around in my car. MY CAR! MY 1987 BELL-AIR CHEEVE!

I looked closely at the Shopping List and decided to tweak it into a poem. It was genius! You see, I can pull all the misfortunes off. Misfortune 10 was gonna be a breeze on the beach... with Hot babes... preferably brownettes like Washu and Tiffani Thiessen (aka Kelly from Saved by the Bell). What does Kalim see in blondes anyway?

"Lets see. Eggs... Milk... Bread... Cherry Soda... Chicken... Beacon... Corn... and Steak... MY GOD! Kalim's mother sure likes her meat!"

With not many decent foods to work with. I managed to think of a poem for the contest. It was original and not that carefully thought out but it was good.

"Finally done!" I said cheering.

"Contestant 798, Sliva. Please come out," they announced.

I walked out on stage and Kalim was the only one who cheered me on. Which was totally utterly embrassessing in my books but then, Kalim was hit on the head many times as a baby.

"Whoo! GO SLIVA!" Kalim cheered.

"Down in front, Kalim!" I shouted back.

"An enough of that bad attitude towards your fans!" Anna snapped clicking her fingers.

On the judging panel was Mikihisa and Anna! Yoh's father and fiancé! Were judges! I WAS DOOMED! It was finally clear! The Great spirit hates my art and would do anything to see me being annoyed. It was annoying!

I ignored Anna and read my last minute prepared Poem out. The room was silent as I read out the poem.

"The Chickens lay the eggs for a living,
The cows milk for a living,
The pigs eat all they can until fate drags them away,
The cows, the chickens and the pigs go on strike,
Going on strike was their mistake,
I go into the Store,
To buy Cherry Soda and Corn,
On the shelves I see all the animals that fought for their right,
The Chicken, the beacon and the steak,
Their right to be living creatures was their mistake."

I finished reading my poem and everyone stood up, cheered and clapped. They liked my poem despite what I had to work with. Anna was crying and so was Mikihisa. Though Mikihisa is a bird boy anyway and the mentioning of chickens made him cry on que.

After that I waited impaiently for the results of the contest. I knew I should have wore those good luck charms Kalim made. Though they would've been worse any how. Looking at this whole Road trip experience. Next time, I am taking Javine (Not the Crappy singer who lost in Eurovision ---- my childhood friend.) with me.

Since I am ashamed what happened next. I am not going to tell you. All you must know is. I lost. Yes, after all that time driving to the Arts Festival with all those distractions and dam I lose.

"I WON! I WON! I FINALLY GOT REVENEG ON SLIVA!" Hedgehog cheered.

If you would understand my emotions you will know why I wouldn't tell you. DON'T LOOK AT ME! What am I? A vampire or a warlock? Both come out at night...

Kalim and I hit off to 'The Laughing Souls' concert. Well, everyone was thinking that. We were actually at the Suprise Karaoke show but no one knew that but me. Man! I love being a woman! (Plays Shanina Twain intro music to Man! I feel like a woman!)

"I can't believe you lost and you wrote a poem after seeing my mother's shopping list. That ain't inspiring. She loves her meat and corn."

"Kalim! Don't talk to me about it. That stupid soothsayer."

Memory Lane
Theme Music: We are taking a trip down,
Memory Lane,
Memory Lane,
Let out the good, the bad, & the ugly out,
We are taking a trip down Memory Lane...
Announcer: Memory Lane is sponsered by Coffee! DRINK COFFEE!

OK OK! FORGET MEMORY LANE! WE ARE TAKING TOO MUCH TIME!

Right, all you need to know is before we came to the Arts Festival. We visited a soothsayer... Kalim's idea. Then he predicted that I will have 10 Misfortunes in and on the way to the Arts Festival if I never paid her $20! And I never b'coz it was all stupid. Still is.

"Come on Kalim. I just wanna go and see Laughing Souls perform."

We went into the tent and everyone looked at us in a not so good mood. Have you ever seen Beauity and the Beast when the towns people had fire and whacking sticks etc etc to beat up beast. Well, I felt like I was in that movie the way everyone looked at me.

"THE SHOW WAS CANCELLED B'COZ OF YOU!" They shouted at me.

"Hey hey! It was Hedgehog's doing not me! It's not my fault he is a pshyco!" I replied.

The lights went down. The fire the people had was blown out. Everyone got scared. I was smiling happily. I knew this was gonna happen.

"SIT DOWN! YOU ARE ALL HOSTAGES!" A Familiar voice laughed.

Everyone sat down. Apart from me who was standing with my arms folded. Then someone appeared in black and you couldn't see her face. Everyone got scared apart from me. I knew who it was and so do all of you.

"You standing!"

"Me?" I pointed at myself confused.

"DUH! On the stage here! Now! Chop chop!"

I walked on the stage and I was hugged by the woman in black. Everyone looked confused until she realved herself.

"Hi I am Washu McChan! You may remember from the band Laughing Souls. This here is Sliva. He is my co presenter on my karaoke show for tonight," Washu introduced.

The whole crowd cheered. I was blushing. Washu was walking on stage and explaining more of the show.

"Tonight, you have the chance to sing your favourite song and us, Sliva and I are the judges and we'll choose the best karaoke star. We promise we won't be evil like Simon Cowell. Who is up first?"

No one put their hand up. No one apart from Kalim. Yes, Kalim. Washu said he could be the first and he grabbed the microphone and started to karry-on-ke. Haha! Forget it!

He sang Shania Twain's old song, Any Man of Mine. I would be lying if I said that Kalim hated girly singers. But he doesn't. He loves them...:

Any man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I'm ugly he still better love
And I can be late for a date that's fine
But he better be on time
Any man of mine'll say it fits just right
When last year's dress is a little too tight
And anything I do or say better be okay
When I have a bad hair day
And if I change my mind
A million times,
I wanna hear him say...

Audience: YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! I LIKE THAT WAY!

The Karaoke show went on all night and Kalim ended up winning... I am not suprised.

Back on the road, on the way home. I was gald to get going. I do not want to go through all that again. Not ever!

"Hey Sliva!"

"Yes, Kalim," I replied.

"That tunnel is a shortcut home."

I banged my head on the wheel.

"DAM IT!"

"BEEP!"

"DAM IT!"

"BEEP!"

"DAM IT! DAM IT!"

Kalim pointed another thing out.

"It was built five years ago and we never noticed. Isn't that the funniest thing ever, Sliva? Sliva..."

I was driving so slow that Mrs Smith drove past us. She beeped her horn at us.

"Hiya boys! Enjoy the Arts Festival?" Mrs Smith shouted.

"Yes, I did Mrs Smith. It was a pleasure to get to know you these past weeks!" Kalim replied.

Mrs Smith threw Kalim a CD case. It was his Sabrina CD with the song Boys Summertime Love. It had no scratches on it despite being run over by a lorry. A speeding lorry.

"I got your CD back! Maybe Sliva will enjoy ittoo and it will cheer him up!"

Mrs Smith drove off in the tunnel. Kalim put the CD on and we were back to square one. Being annoyed by the world's most annoying song sung by the world's best (Best meaning worst) karaoke singer. Only one good thing came out in all of this. I met Washu the hottest babe in Laughing Souls. Actually she is the only female member. Oh well. Some good memories have come out of all these misfortunes.

Now that is the end of my Roadtrip of Hell. Now, I have a hot date with someone special. Yes, I am visiting my mother... STOP LAUGHING!

The End