When all the soldiers had left, Reece clapped his hands together. "Right! Now, who wants to save our friends, bring justice to Verona, and put the continuity back together?"

Tybalt dramatically turned around and swished out of the church. "I work alone."

Kyle shrugged and said apathetically, "I really don't care about those guys. I'm gonna go chill with that hot Rosaline chick."

That left Julie, as Mercutio had found one of Ramya's 'special' buckets and was completely inebriated. "God help us," said Reece.

"NO," said God.

It was going to be an interesting rescue.

In Verona, Escalus' palace was known as the Really Big Fortress of Evil. Its walls were four feet thick and three hundred Royal Sentinels guarded it. No one was quite sure how this worked out, as there was no way that even with the combined fortunes of all the residents of Verona, no one had enough money or manpower to build this architectural abomination. Nobody questioned the Really Big Fortress of Evil, for nobody wanted to rub oil on Prince Escalus' arms.

Therefore, it hadn't occurred to Reece that Escalus would live in a gigantic, black castle. He gazed at the walls with some trepidation. "Great. How are we supposed to get in?"

Julie drew a vial from her pocket. "With this."

"And what is that exactly?"

"An explosive Pat created with his knowledge of the Periodic Table of the Elements. It should be sufficient to breach those walls."

"But Pat made it."

"So?"

"Hundreds, possibly thousands, will be killed."

"We're in a book. None of us actually exist."

"Good point."

And so Julie hurled the concoction with such righteous strength that only her boyfriend might comprehend.

Bill Lambert was proud that he was one of the few guards in Verona with a name. That meant that he couldn't be as killed as easily as the rest of the other slobs. He was considered by many to be the best balalaika player in all of Verona. On Tuesdays, Bill enjoyed working in the streets to raise money for the poor. He was a trusted friend of Count Paris, and tonight he was planning to go home and tell his wife and five kids how much he loved them. But none of that really mattered as Bill, like Royal Edifice Sentinels of the Really Big Fortress of Evil 14-56 and much of the outer wall were instantly vaporized.

As the two students moved further into the castle, Tybalt followed, keeping to the shadows and generally being stealthy, as much as it killed him not to do it 'the American way'. Finally, he couldn't stand it any more. Jumping out from the shadows, he smashed two guards together, slashed a third, grabbed his sword and ran him through twice. Instantly, his violent urges subsided and with the grace of a cat, Tybalt went back into the shadow.

Julie and Reece soon found that the Really Big Fortress of Evil was well-labeled. There were detailed signs explaining where exactly the dungeons were. They even found a not-so-secret passage that led straight to the underground prison.

Tybalt had no need of silly signs. When the kids turned left, he turned right and presently found himself in the mess hall. Fifty-four guards lifted their heads up. Tybalt waved his sword menacingly. "I am looking for my cousin. One of you will tell me where she is." No one moved. Suddenly, everyone started laughing. Captain of the Royal Guard of Fair Verona #1 said, "Kill him!"

In the movies, when a single hero takes on an army, usually the badguys make a circle and send two or three goons to take him or her down. When these two or three goons die horrible and painful deaths, two or three more come to take their place. Tybalt was outnumbered fifty-four to one. In real life, he would be dead. But in this story, those guys didn't stand Mr. Bauer's chance of winning Upstanding Teacher of the Year Award.

After most of them had been decapitated or otherwise dismembered, the guards stopped fighting. Tybalt took this opportunity to kill three more. "You idiot!" cried a voice, "When they stop, you do too because they know something really big is going to happen!"

Tybalt was broken out of his bloody reverie. He looked up to see Count Paris. "Oh."

"Yes, 'oh', you fool. As part of my training to become a leech of my relatives' money, or a count, I had to read Romeo and Juliet. As everybody may or may not know, Romeo kills you in Act III and later kills me two acts later. I always—Stop that! Stop that!" Tybalt had lost interest in the discussion and had killed another guard. "You bloody fool. Anyway, I always wondered: Which of us was the better fighter?"

Tybalt saw where this was going. "I guess there's only one way to find out."

The Count's face blanched. "Resort to violence? Heaven's no! I just was wondering out loud. Guards, finish him!"

Tybalt finished the rest of the guards. "Hey, Paris, do you want to help me find your fiancé?" Chatting like old friends, Tybalt and Paris left the bloody mess that was the mess hall and headed for the dungeons.