Author's Note: Believe it or not, I am not William Shakespeare, Homer, or Charles Dickens. Amazing, I know.

Julie and Reece had arrived in the prison sector of the citadel. They had many different ideas as to how to get the keys.

"Violence."

"Yelling."

For once, they decided upon yelling. The guard willingly gave up the keys after Julie yelled at him. He even gave the cell numbers of their friends. Things were running smoothly, until they had one cell left. It was Dan's. "Let's leave him there!" cried Dan R. However, Dan was not inside the cell. Odysseus was.

Greater than any previously mentioned in the book, there was a pause. Said Blake, "Dude, it's Odysseus." Many murmured in agreement. Odysseus replied, "Yes, I am that wanderer of the seas, the hero of Ithaca, conqueror of Troy! I wandered the Aegean Sea for ten years, gave the finger to Poseidon, scored with goddesses, outsmarted the Cyclops. I betrayed my crew, and, alone, survived! I AM ODYSSEUS! Mortals, look upon me and tremble!"

"No, just, no." said Pat R. obstinately. For once, everyone agreed with Pat R.

Another pause. Then, Stephanie asked, "Odysseus, why are you here? This is Romeo and Juliet. You star in an epic poem written over a thousand years ago. You should have been dead for years. And why do you speak English?"

Always useful in explaining plot holes, Taesup once more stepped forward. "You see, when I set off to quadbajillionize® Chris' capital income, I realized that I could not continuously hop between dimensions selling tapes---at inflated prices, of course. So I gave large numbers of tapes and the dimension-traveling machine to Prince Escalus in hopes that he would distribute the tapes on my behalf. It is becoming increasingly apparent," Taesup glanced at the Ithacan king, "that our good prince is abusing his power. He must be stopped at all costs!"

Odysseus wished the kids luck. "Hey, before I go to gorge myself on whatever resources this place has, would any of you ladies like to kiss me?" As Juliet, Ramya, Stephanie, Caitlin and Julie all looked thoroughly disgusted at the idea, the great epic hero had to settle for Jim. When that random episode was over, our heroes began to formulate a plan to rescue Dan and take down Escalus.

Prince Escalus was sitting on his throne, looking menacing. He could have been trying to soothe relations between the Capulets and the Montagues, or otherwise ruling his city, but he decided to sit on the throne and frown dramatically with fifty of his best men standing at attention. It was almost as if he was expecting some large group of intruders to burst through the door, which ironically, happened.

"Okay, Pip, it's over!" shouted Reece, sword drawn. Escalus/Pip's eyes narrowed. "How did you know it was me?" "Only you are sadistic and callous enough to condemn an entire room to death via poison."

Pip Pirrup took off his mask. "I see there's no more need of keeping up appearances. I bet you're wondering what I'm doing outside of Great Expectations and why I'm suddenly the evil overlord of Verona. I'm not going to tell you. Instead, I'm going to kill you!"