Disclaimer: We do not own Inu-Yasha or anything but the plot to this story.

Royally Screwed

Rule 2: Learn To Kick Ass…. How Not To Greet Royalty!

By: Endowment Maidens

Rule 2:

Learn To Kick Ass… How Not To Great Royalty!

"Hello father," Kagome greated timidly as she tried to curtsey. She had never really tried before, and she stummbled slightly trying to stand back up. A false smile played at her lips, and sweat trickled down the back of her neck. Try as she might, the thought of being a King's daughter unerved her. King Higurashi, though middle aged, was quite handsome. He stood at least a full head above Kagome and his broad sholders stuck out like branches on a tree. His face was well shaped with a prominent chin, and his eyes sparkled with a hidden laughter. A long thick cape of purple velvet draped regally down his back and a crown encrusted with jewels sat atop his graying hair. Kagome couldn't take her eyes off him when the thought that she was a princess finally started to sink in. "It's nice to mee-" she started again but was inturrupted when a just as nervous Keade impatiently pushed past her to address the King.

Quickly engaging herself in a conversation with King Higurashi about her soon departure and life to follow Keade payed no attention to Kagome when she inched her way toward the door, and the safe haven she found in Inu-Yasha just a few yards away. Taking the new found ignorance as an opportunity to say her last good-byes, Kagome quickly departed the room before anyone could note that her precents was missing. Inu-Yasha stood at the end of the hall just a stones throw away, and it took her barly three seconds to reach him. Approaching him, she jumped and threw her arms around his neck sqeezing him with all the strength left in her. His arms quickly encircled her waist and his face somehow found it's way to the crook of her neck. They stayed that way for a long while not needing to speak their sad good-bye. He understood as well as she that they were saying good-bye to the best friend they had ever had, the only friend she had ever had. It broke Kagome's heart but she knew she would be seeing him again. He was the King of the North, and since her father tecnically owned the land Inu-Yasha governed, he would be seen at any important event that her father held, and visa-versa with her. What she didn't like about this parting was that she was saying farewell to the life she had always know, and because of that she would no longer be able to act exactly the same around Inu-Yasha as she did now as a humble miko. In a few days time she would be expected to act poised and elegant in public, and open friendships like the one she had with Inu-Yasha would be forbidden unless behind closed doors out of the general publics eyes.

A throat cleared behind them and they quickly seperated. Keade's head stuck out the door frame, a frown planted on her face. Kagome could feel herself heat up, and knew Inu-Yasha was doing the same beside her. " Your father's ready to take you home now Kagome, get your stuff." Her head dissapeared again and an awkward silence followed. She didn't want to look at Inu-Yasha and she guessed he didn't want to look at her. Kagome hated uncomfortable situations like that, and was glad when his voice alerted her that Keade was right.

" You want me to help you get your stuff, princess?" His voice held it's usual tease and Kagome couldn't help but smile. " Yes, thank you your majesty." They melted into peels of laughter at the prospect of addressing each other in such a formal way, and Kagome decided that if he wasn't going to say anything about their awkward situation, neither would she. Ten minutes later, with everthing she owned packed in the trunk of a limo, Kagome set off to her new home. Seated between her father and the opposite car window, Kagome stared at the scenery as the country she would someday rule spead by.

"Sorry I never properly introduced myself," a deep mysterious voice from beside her said. " I'm your father King Kazuyuuki Higurashi, and I'm sorry you never knew me before now." Kagome turned in her seat to see the unfermiliar man smile at her and extend his hand in a forml shake. Kagome sat for a long moment not quite comprehending that a king would give a handshake, before she extended her own hand to shake his. His fingers were long and thick, and his skin was caloused from the use of a weapon. Her own, she knew, where nothing like a princesses. Worn down from household chores, and strong from her archery techniques.

" Um, hello," Kagome started not sure what to say to her father. She had never met the man before and knew absolutly nothing about him. Was she aloud to be formal with a king even if her was her father? If so, what did he like: Golfing, martial arts, tailgate paties? She had absolutly no idea.

" There are good reasons to let Keade-San raise you, but if you hate me for leaving you your whole life that's perfectly understandable. Your mother and I have missed you a great deal and were disappointed that we ourselves could not raise you." Her father started. He looked gloomfully out his own window and continued. "You see, there is a lot of controversy involving our kingdom going on behind the backs of the public, and in order to ensure your survival so that you could one day take your place as queen, we had to give you to somebody to raise you until you were considered officially an adult. Now that your old enough and can partially fend for yourself, we , your mother and I, have decided that we shall raise you ourselves from now on. That means beginning tomorrow you will attened "Princess Lessons" all day everyday until you learn to speak, act, and look like the princess you were born to be." Kagome sat shock still in her seat, her worst fears being spoken out loud by her father. " You will have to learn how to eat, how to speak to certia people, how to walk, how to greet, how to curtsey," at which her father gave a small chuckle. " And, you'll have to learn how to dance!"

Kagome continued to stare out her window choosing not to respond. She knew if she did, she would probably stutter all her words. She would have so much to learn that she never thought she would need to know. How to eat? How to speak? HOW TO DANCE? All she ever wanted to do was become the head priestess of Keade-Sama's shrine. That or make a living out of her profound archery skills.

" Lastly you will have to learn how to treat your courtiers," Her father's words didn't quite register, " and let them down nicely." Kagome stared at him for a long second before choosing the words she would respond with.

" What?" Okay so those words didn't come out exactly as she had planed.

" You have to turn down every man who courts you, your already engaged." Kagome's mouth droped open, and try as she may it would not close again. SHE WAS ENGAGED?

" WHAT THE HELL?" Okay so that didn't come out exacly as planned either. Her hands flew to her mouth and she felt slightly light headed.

" Yes, your were betrothed at birth to th eldest son of a friend of mine. He's a very influential and powerful Lord named Koga. He's about your age, no more then 5 years older." Her father continued to stare out the window, obviuosly finding this information nothing to shocking. Kagome started to feel really lightheaded now. She realized she hadn't breathed since the word engaged had left her father's mouth, and so she took two deep gasps trying to clear her head.

" Are you really that surprised?" Her father questioned turning to stare at her.

" What do you think? It's not like people go around betrothing their children much anymore! And until yesterday I didn't know I was even a princess, let alone the Crowned Princess of an entier nation!" Kagome didn't know how much more she could take.

" You know, maybe we should discuse this later," her father said. Kagome just nodded her head.

Three hours later the driver announced from the front of the car that you could now see the castle out the left side of the car. Looking out her father's window, she gulped. It was the single biggest structure she had ever seen. It must have been 90 feet high with towering turets that extended beyond that. The walls of the castle were a gleeming white, that reflected the sun in a way that made the entire structure sparkle. Tree's of hights equal to the castle stood all around the grounds, and the royal flags of the North, South, East, and West Kingdoms stood on each of the four corners.The castle looked pretty mideval, excluding the fact that there was glass in every window and the guards were dressed in uniforms with bulletproof vests and hightech weapons.Pulling up to the gate Kagome could only gape when a man dressed in a M.I.B type outfit (the whole black theme going on) opened her car door for her. Stepping out infront of her new home Kagome was totally bewildered. She felt like a sore thumb in her hakama, when everybody else around her wore such formal cloths. Three people stood at the top of the palace stairs, a middle aged woman, a yound boy, and a young man who was quite handsome to say the least. The woman grabbed the little boys hand and rushed toward Kagome, throwing her arms around her in a tight embrace. The little boy just stood in front of her, looking at her like she was a new alien species discovered on Mars.

" Kagome darling!" the woman shouted. Letting go of her the woman stepped back and eyed Kagome from top to bottom, holding her at arms length. " You are most definatly my daughter," the woman said as her eyes lingered on a few of her certain asspects. Kagome blushed a wild red color and took a step back.

" Oh, I'm being so rude! I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself, I'm Queen Mai Higurashi… your mother." Her "mother's" eyes sparkled with delight and a smiled practically cracked her face in two. She, like Kagome's father, though middle aged was positively beautiful. She was slightly taller than Kagome with thick black hair that descended down her back. The beginings of wrinkles showed at the corners of her eyes, and her skin was a perfect ivory color.

" Oh, um, yes hello" Kagome stuttered not knowing what to say to this woman either. The little boy behind her mother just kept staring at Kagome, but when she spoke her greeting to her mother, he disolved into laughter.

" Oh Sota, don't be so rude!" her mother hollered in dissapointment. The boy stopped short ans stood up strait ina stately pose. " Yes mother, sorry."

" Now, why don't you introduce yourself to your sister Kagome?" The Queen proded. So, Kagome thought, this must be my little brother… I have a little brother!

" Hello there, I'm Sota higurashi" the boy bowed.

" Um, nice to meet you," Kagome was dumbfounded. She had a little brother! She could not believe it!

" Your kind of boring." Sota said . He gave her a quizical look and Kagome wondered if he would ever like her. Maybe he was jealous that she would rule the kingdom one day?

" Well, how would you know? You don't really know me." Kagome wasn't sure if she liked the way he looked at her and spoke to her and wondered if she would ever warm up to her new family.

" Do you like videogames?" Sota asked his eyes lighting up at the prospect of another videogame fan.

" Well, yes, of course. I don't really play them that much because I had miko training most of the day, and we didn't have a t.v, but my friend Ayame had a PS2 and a Nintendo 64."

"Okay, will you play with me later?" Sota asked now jumping up and down in excitement.

" Sure, if I have time!" Maybe she would like this kid.

" My Your Majesty, your daughter is just as pretty as you are!" Kagome looked up from her little brothers face to see the young man she had seen standing with her mother walking down the steps after them. He was dressed in blue jeans and a AC/DC t-shirt. He had long raven black hair that was pulled back in a hair-tie, and stunning aqua blue eyes. He wore an arm guard surrounded by prayer beads on his hand, and he looked to be about 17.

Kagome blushed at the prospect pf being called beautiful and was highly surprised when he approached her. He took her hands in his and looked her deep in the eyes. " Well princess, I would ask you to bare my child, but your already engaged." Kagome stared wide eye at this mans nerve, and kicked him square in a place you should never kick a man.

" Miroku! Kagome!" Her mother scolded bending over to see if Miroku was okay. " Dear me Miroku, you should learn to controll yourself!" Kagome's mother lectured as she helped the young man to his feet. " As for you Kagome, that was very unlady like!" She smoothed her dress out and gave them both 'you better not do it again' glares.

"Sorry ma'am," Miroku said as he bowed as low as he could.

" Um, he totally deserved that!" Kagome acused pointing her finger in his direction. " What was I supposed to do?"

"You should have asked him nicely to please appologize." The Queen said sounding shocked. " My, we do have our work cut out for you dear." At that her mother grabbed Sota's hand and directed him to come with her, that it was time for his lessons.

" Sorry about that," Miroku said as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand in embarassment. " You sure do kick hard though."

" Well yeah, until yesterday I didn't even know I was a princess. I always thought I would be head Miko at Keade-Sama's shrine. I bet you I could outshoot your guards there when it comes to target practice too!" Kagome stuck a pose to show that she was stronger then most people would think.

" You were raised as a priestess in training? That explains the Hakama!" He smiled and dropped his hand. "That's awsome!" He took a step closer to her and stuck his hand out in a casual way. " I'm Miroku by the way. Actually I just became a Priest"

" Well, nice to meet you Miroku," Kagome shook his hand, but gulped when another hand found it's way to her backside. Her hand found it's way to his cheek where a bruise the size of New York formed later on that day.

"Just ignore him," a murderous voice called out from behind Miroku. " I have to put up with his crap everyday! Has he asked you to bare his child yet?" Kagome looked up from Miroku's downed figure to see a tall girl with long ebony hair, and feirce facial features looking scornfully at the bruise forming on Miroku's cheek. She was tall for a girl, and looked to be about Kagome's age too.

" Um yes, that's why his balls got a good kick!" Kagome moaned in mortification.

" Then the new bruise must be from a grope," the girl guessed in an experianced way.

" Of coarse Sango dear!" Miroku said getting up. A small shriek was heard from the girl followed by anouther slap to the face for Miroku.

" I told you… everyday!" The girl turned and humfed. " I'm Sango Taijiya, Crowned Princess of the South by the way. I live here most of the time though, cause all the good stuff happens up this way." She gave a small chuckle and turned toward Kagome again. Kagome finally got a good look at what the girl was wearing, and screeched in envy.

" Oh… My… God! Is that a pure silk skirt?" Kagome loved fashion, but never really wore anything but her Hakama. Yeah, she did go to some events like after school parties. To those kinds of things Keade permitted her to wear normal clothes, but Kagome had never actually seen really silk.

" Uh yeah," Sango uttered as though this was a normal thing to wear. " I got it made specifically for me. It's one of a kind."

"You… are… so… lucky!" Kagome gaped wanting to touch it. " Can I touch it?"

" Uh, sure. If it's that important to you." Sango looked a little creeped out, but Kagome could see that behind her eyes she seeme a little amused.

"It's just… I've never seen real silk before." Kagome picked the hem of the skirt up and rubbed it between her thumb and index finger. "It's so beautiful."

"You've never seen real silk? Aren't you Princess Kagome though?" Sango questioned amazment in her voice.

" Yeah, but I was raised by a slightly poor Miko named Keade, and all I ever really wore was my Hakama. Plus, we didn't have enough money to by anything silk, so we never looked for it." Kagome dropped the skirt and realized that now that she was a Princess, she could, and would have to wear things like silk! That was a bonus at least.

" So, you were a Miko in training? Can you fight at all?" Sango's eyes lit up and showed intrest in the topic of fighting.

" Would I have been able to give him a black eye if I didn't?" Kagome motioned to the still down Miroku with a laugh.

" Maybe, he's really not as weak as he seems though. He can run for 45 minutes straight." Sango gave tsk as her head leaned slowly up into thought.

" You sound like you know this from personal experience?" Kagome questioned.

" Believe me, I do. So, you want to spar sometime?" Sango asked a smile starting to arise on her face.

" You're on!" Kagome laughed. " Do you know archery?" She asked wanting to know if she had somebody besides Kikyo to challenge.

" A little, my weapon of choice is my giant boomerange, Hirakotsu. It's been handed down through the family. My whole family line have been Demon slayers, and I'm the next Queen sooo… you get the point. Anyway, you any good at archery?"

" I'm not meaning to brag, but yeah." Kagome blushed slightly feeling a little vain. " If you're a demon slayer, does that mean you slay every demon you meet?" Kagome asked.

" No, No," Sango laughed at her stupidity. " My family only kills those that do things like destroy villages or hurt people. If I slayed every demon I met, my friend Inu-Yasha, he's the king of the North, and his bro the king of the West would be dead. See Inu-Yasha, I need to introduce you two, he's a half dem-"

" I know." Was Kagome's simple reply. She knew if she said anymore about her new best friend, she would probably break out in tears. She had only said good-bye to him 4 hours ago, and she would see him next week for help with her 'Princess Kessons'. Even if she would see him soon, she mised him dearly already.

" You do? Did your father already tell you about King's and Queen's and such?" Sango looked puzzled and started trying to figure out how Kagome would know.

" No, not yet. But, Keade-Sama who I lived with was Inu-Yasha's mother's nurse from the day she was born until the day she died. He comes to Keade's house once a year cause she was his nurse too. He's also my best friend." Kagome forced herself to smile and tried as hard as she could to keep her voice calm and steady.

" Ahh, I think he's mentioned that lady once or twice. We grew up together, Miroku, Inu-Yasha and I. We've been best friends since we were three though Inu won't admitt it." Sango smiled at the memories and Kagome felt a sharp pang of jealousy go through her. " But you say you're his new best friend? Do you know his secret then?" Sango smirked evily. Kagome eyed her suspiciously, wondering if she could be talking about his human night? But, she couldn't know that… could she?

" What are you -" Kagome started to ask but was quickly cut off.

" I didn't think so. So, then Miroku still occupies best friend status?" Sango raised an eyebrow in a questioning fashion.

" What I meant to say was, Do you mean that one night a month thing? If so yeah." Kagome crossed her arms in front of her chest in a 'bet you don't know what I'm talking about' kind of way.

Sango just gapped at her before speaking again. " He seriously told you that? And you'd only talked to him for a few weeks? You must be really special to him then! Good thing to! He needs more friends then just Miroku and I, it'll be good for him."

" R-Really?" Kagome was glad Inu-Yasha trusted her, she trusted him too.

" Yeah, though he's been on a buisness trip for the past few wee- wait a minute! You liar, you didn't meet him a few weeks ago cause he's been on a buisness trip for a few weeks! How'd You find out about his secret!" Sango looked mad now and Kagome wasn't sure what to say.

" No, he's been staying at Keade-sama's house the last few weeks! Ask his bodyguard Eetien or whatever his name is!"

Sango's face didn't look angry anymore, but the emotion on it was more shock then anything else. " He was at your house?"

" My what an interesting thing?" the voice of Miroku floated up at them from the ground where Kagome looked down to see him staring up Sango's skirt.

" You lecher!" Sango screamed in annoyance and pounded her foot into his face.

'This is going to be quite fun I think,' Kagome thought to herself with a smile.

6:34 p.m. Keade's House

" Kikyo dear," Keade started over dinner that night " I have some terrible news I must discuse with you. It's about the future of this residence." Kikyo set her chopsticks down lightly next to her bowl. What was Keade talking about. Was the old bat going senile?

" I would like to inform you that I am moving back in with the Taisho family next week, and am afraid I cannot take you with me." Keade placed her own chopsticks down lightly next to her plate.

" Does that mean that your kicking me out?" Kikyo spoke calmly trying to hold her immense anger in.

" I'm not kicking you out, I'm politly asking you to leave before I have to kick ye out child." Keade spoke in her calm voice to.

" But where am I to go, huh? I don't have a family anymore remember!" Kikyo lost it. She wailed out in anger slaming her hands on the table, spliting it in two and spilling its contents all over the floor.

"Well there was an ad in the newspaper today for a job as a maid in King Naraku's castle. I thought, since you were trained to clean stuff as a miko, that you could use your talents to serve the King," Keade continued gently as she picked up the dishes that were not broken and proceded into the kitchen to wash them up.

" Fine, I'll leave tonight!" Kikyo squawked as she scampered out of the dinning room like the mouse she was. She raced to her bureau and started to throw everything she owned into three suitcases that lay under her bed ready for travel at any moment. Keade used to take she and Kagome to private locations in the mountians to train, and she would miss them. But, she hated Kagome! She hated everything the girl stood for. When they were little Kagome and she had been the best of friends who would braid eachother's hair each morning, and cook dinner togather at night. But, as they began to grow up they started looking more and more alike, causing an ongoing conflict to be the best between them. No matter how hard she tried to be nice everybody seemed to like Kagome more because she was so nice, even if everybody thought she was the most beautiful. Between local children, Kikyo was sometimes refered to as the 'Ice Queen' whereas Kagome was the ' Pretty Miko'. Now, Kagome had the money, the cloths, and the name while Kikyo had to work as a maid to get inside a castle! It was totally and completely unfair!

Kikyo could sence Keade's presence waddling down the hall, and quickly threw her bow and arows ontop of her first suitcase.

" Would you like some help packing that dear?" Keade questioned.

"No, I don't need your help anymore!" Kikyo shouted her tone full of the wrath she felt toward her 'mother' now. Kikyo's story was the basic tragic one that all stories have to have you see. When her father found out her mother was pregnant he took off leaving her mother to care for herslef. At her birth, her mother died due to comlications, so Kikyo was given to the village Preistess to raise. Keade was a mother to her in her eyes, but ever since she was about five her relationship with the miko had started to go downhill. When she was five Inu-Yasha started coming once a year, and even at such a young age, Kikyo's heart had been captured by the beutifu hanyou. When Keade told her she could not have him because of social status, Kikyo had gotten so angry, her whole personality changed entirely. Inu-Yasha was the soul reson for the bitterness she showed people everyday. Even if it was modern times, the royal families still shuned non-royal marriges.

She didn't care though, infact she couldn't have cared less. Ever year when Inu-Yasha arrived and Kagome went running off to her 'place', Kikyo would flirt with Inu-Yasha and try to win his heart. But, after thirteen years of trying and failing, Kagome sweeps in out of the blue and stole her dream from right under her nose. How could she try for thirteen years and not win his heart, but a girl who simply ignored him for just as long steal it in a few simple minutes? It just wasn't fair! From the minute their eyes met that day just weeks before, Kikyo could tell Inu-Yasha's heart and soul belonged to that wretched bitch. Kikyo swore her revenge on Kagome the day she left, and going to work as a maid at King Naraku's castle was the first step in a plan that could turn out very well. If she could somehow get this King to listen to her woes and help her plot the perfect scheem to deliver the Taisho brother's downfall, she would have Inu-Yasha and his love in the palm of her hand.

'Perfect!' was the only thought that resounded through her head as she threw her bags into the back of her car and sped off toward the horizon in the East. Tomorrow, she would have a job as the king's maid!

A/N Bara: Well that chapter turned out longer then originally expected, so I guess we'll have to put the next two sceens in the next chapter! Anyway we don't know quite hown long this chapter will be, but we're quesing 20-50 chapters. Probably around the 25-35 range but we may add new plot twists and such. Anyway We really hope you liked this chapter and hope you keep coming back for more! See you next time!

A/N Umi:

Bara: So what will our ranting and raving be about this time Umi?

Umi: Well Pinky why don't we do what we do every night?

Bara: What is that Brain?

Umi: Take over the world!

Bara/Umi: Mwahahahaha

Bara: Well, anyway…

Umi: yea…?

Bara: I think I'm done talking for now

Umi: Okay

Bara/Umi : Baii Baii

Chapter Three Coming Soon…

Rule 3: Fashion Shows Status… A New Way to Dress