A/N: I guarantee this will be much funnier if you actually listen to the song while you read this. It's by the Lovin' Spoonful. Insomnia is a terrible thing.
Disclaimer: I own neither Inuyasha nor the rights to the song
"Hurry it up, would you?" Inuyasha demanded, squirming around on Kagome's bed while she stood at her desk, throwing things into her big yellow pack.
"Chill, Inuyasha, I'm almost done. Besides, we've only been here half an hour. What's the hurry?" She struggled to shut the top flap, letting out a triumphant "Ha!" when it clicked into place. "There, now we can go."
"Finally!" He slung the pack over his shoulder and was headed for the door when Kagome's mother came in.
"Hold it right there, young woman! You said that you would do the dishes, and you're not leaving until you do."
Inuyasha opened his mouth, brow furrowed in impatience, "Oh screw the dishes, we've got better-" He broke off, dropped the pack and cowered behind Kagome. Her mother was standing with arms akimbo and a terrifying scowl that was directed right at him.
"Sure, Mom, no problem," Kagome said. To Inuyasha, who was still cowering, "It won't take that long, surely there can't be that many."
Inuyasha just nodded and tried to make himself smaller.
Once in the kitchen, Kagome stopped so abruptly that Inuyasha bumped into her, knocking her off balance. He grabbed her arm to steady her. "Clumsy, watch where you're going, would ya?" He stopped as he realized she wasn't even listening. She was staring at the biggest collection of dishes he'd ever seen gathered in one place. And they were all dirty.
Kagome opened her mouth, then closed it, then repeated the motion a couple more times. She sucked in a breath and yelled loud enough to hurt his ears.
"MOOOOOMMM!"
Kagome's mother arrived a moment later. "Yes, dear?"
"What is with all these dishes? There's, like, a thousand of them!"
"Oh, I had some old friends over for dinner last night." She smiled and walked away, Kagome still gaping like a fish out of water.
Inuyasha stuck his hands in his sleeves and smirked. "Better get to work, wench, or we'll be here for the next three days."
Kagome's mouth snapped shut and she rounded on him. "What did you call me?" Her voice was a venomous whisper.
Inuyasha gulped. "Nothing, I didn't say anything. Please don't 'sit' me."
She walked away and opened a cabinet. "Oh, no, you get worse than that." He eyed her suspiciously. Something worse than 'sit'? She returned, holding out a square of white cloth. "You have to dry."
Twenty minutes later, and Inuyasha still hadn't stopped grumbling. Kagome's patience ran out when she heard 'stupid wench' and 'Kikyo would never' paired together. Gritting her teeth, she flung down the spoon she was holding, deliberately splashing Inuyasha with soapy water. Ignoring his outraged "Hey!" she walked to the next counter and pulled a black and silver box towards her.
"Listen up. This is a radio. It plays music. I'm going to turn it on, because I can't stand listening to you for the next two hours. Your drying isn't that good. Give me the damn towel, put your butt on a cushion, and SHUT UP!" Inuyasha obeyed. "Good dog." She took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm herself. "Now, do you want oldies or the top forty?"
"What are old E's?"
"Forget I asked." She flipped it on and fiddled with the dial until she found a suitable station. Classic rock and tension filled the room. Before returning to the dishes, she asked sulkily if he was hungry. In an equally sulky manner, he gave an affirmative answer. She microwaved a cup of noodles and thunked it down in front of him, sloshing a bit of the hot liquid onto his hand.
She returned to the sink, and several songs played into the unhappy silence. He ate the ramen. A song Kagome liked came on, and she began to sing along, not noticing that Inuyasha was staring moodily at her, hands tucked into his sleeves.
His glower relaxed as he listened to her sing. Her voice was sweet and mellow, lower than her normal speaking voice. It was almost as good as her scent. He wondered if she'd heard his comment about Kikyo. That made him scowl again.
Kikyo had never nagged him. Kikyo had never made him do something so ignoble as dry dishes. Kikyo had never called him a "good dog."
Then again, Kikyo had never sung around him. She had never made him food, even when she was mad at him. She'd never made him food, period. He must have made an unhappy noise, because Kagome turned and looked at him. He blushed, and she frowned at him. "What's your problem?" He stuck his nose in the air and 'feh-ed.' She rolled her eyes and returned to the dishes.
Inuyasha returned to thinking about Kikyo and Kagome. Desperate to think of anything else, he tried to focus on the lyrics of the new song that had begun playing. Kagome was humming along.
Did you ever have to make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
He blushed yet again. Waaaay too close to his previous thoughts.
Did you ever have to finally decide
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide
Now he began to sweat, flicking his eyes from Kagome to the radio, wondering if he stood a chance of destroying it before she sat him.
Sometimes there's one with big blue eyes, cute as a bunny
With hair down to here, and plenty of money
And just when you think she's that one in the world
You heart gets stolen by some mousey little girl
She began to sing along out right, and he flinched hard. Was the whole fucking universe against him? Was this some sort of sign?
And then you know you'd better make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other behind
It's not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind
All coherent thought had fled, he was running on pure instinct. He needed an escape route before Kagome actually listened to the words.
Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her
And then you get distracted by her older sister
When in walks her father and takes you in line
And says, "You better go home, son, and make up your mind"
Just before the song finished, Kagome finished the last glass. "Inuyasha," she began, but stopped when there was a yelp, a crash, and another yelp. All she saw was a flash of silver and red disappear around the corner as Inuyasha bolted.
"What's his problem?" She mused aloud.
And then you bet you'd better finally decide...
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide…