Author's Note: I could try explaining why it took so long to update, but you'd never believe me. You probably would think it was a boring story anyway. A big thanks to Shakespeare's love, my first and only reviewer. You rock. I hope you enjoyed the rest of my rather silly story, if you ever got to it.

Mr. Hanna was correct, as always. Terribly bored in the confined cell, Dan slid between the bars and looked for a new place to dance and party and sing. Ambling out of the Really Big Fortress of Evil, Dan happily waved to some of the numerous guards. They waved back. Suddenly, Dan's acute ears heard music. He sniffed the air, desperately searching for the source. The forest! Forests were magical places with squirrels, deer, elves, and…

Fairies. Legion upon legion of fairies all dancing and singing. Dan's brain couldn't handle it. He promptly fainted from excitement. Upon awakening, he saw a stern-looking fairy buzzing around his head. "I am Oberon, King of the Fairies. Who are you who interrupts our eveningtide revels?"

"Iwannadance"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Iwannadance, iwannadance, IWANNADANCE!"

Dan came to the conclusion that this Oberon fellow was a bit slow in the head, so he began to do an impromptu jig. Oberon's wife, Titania's eyes widened. "You heard him! Let's dance!"

In the past two days, Dan had only a few seconds of dirty dancing, belly dancing and slow dancing. There was a lot of energy that had not been burned. Now, with fairies cavorting all around him, Dan let loose all his funky power.

And that is when the Fellowship of the Pasta entered the glade.

"What in Pan's chest hair is that?" cried Odysseus in a voice that resembled revulsion and awe at the same time.

Caitlin shrugged. "Oh, that's just Dan."

Purposefully, Mercutio stepped towards Titania. "I take it that you, my fair creature, are Queen Mab?" The fairies stopped dancing.

"No, a being as fair as she must be divine. Tell me, what god or goddess are you descended from?" interjected Odysseus.

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "It has to be Tinkerbelle. Hey, Tinkerbelle, where's Peter? And who are all these other fairies?"

Titania did a loop. "A queen? A goddess? …Tinkerbelle? You are all close! I am Titania! Queen of the Fairies! This is my husband, Oberon."

Oberon gave the Fellowship the thumbs up.

By this point, Dan realized that the music had stopped. He was about to begin dancing anyway when he realized that some of his friends had come to see him. Dan hugged Caitlin and Mercutio. "I feel so alone," said Odysseus.

After all the initial introductions were finished, Titania asked the four what they planned to do with themselves now that they had found their friend. Caitlin hurriedly mumbled something about the end of the universe and she and her friends began to leave. As he watched them walk away, Oberon decided that these humans must have been a bit slow in the head.

Things were very much the same back at the church. Friar Lawrence had fallen in another hole, Dan R. was practicing his kicking on a voodoo doll resembling Dan, and the others were engaged in other such eccentric activities. The only thing that had changed since the Fellowship's departure was the return of Kyle. Everything within the church was the same. Everything outside, however, had gone to hell.

A demon had arrived in Verona. Peasants and nobles alike fled from its sight. With its supporters trailing behind, crying his name, the monster hobbled along the street on two legs. Half as high as a man and twice as wide, the fiend took in a deep breath. It was a good day to spread Animalism to these wretched humans.

A smaller, but equally fat pig addressed his leader, "Comrade Napoleon, how long do you think it will take?"

But Napoleon's attention was directed elsewhere. Amid all of the humans fleeing for their lives, one man, broken and battered limped in their direction. His eyes, once fierce, now were shadows of their former glory. "…Must…warn..." The man's body twitched uncontrollably. "PLAN DELTA!" Screaming, the man ran into a nearby church.

Napoleon awkwardly turned to his underling. "If he's the average intelligence, this'll be easier than Manor Farm."