Finally, the second-to-last chapter, less than 2 days before HBP. I didn't really cry when I wrote this, but I was close to it! In fact, I wrote The Death in the middle of the night, and I'd just written it when I saw that it was half past one in the morning and I really needed to go to bed, so I had to stop halfway through the chapter - which is not a good thing. I was an emotional wreck for most of my working day. It didn't help much that I had my mp3player with me with my Magical Ministry Mix - a collection of songs that I thought fitted the last few chapters well. Try not to get teary-eyed when you're thinking about Remus' reaction and hear Queen's Too Much Love Will Kill you - trust me, it's hard! I'd never really realised just what a horrible event Sirius' death was (and now I do, two days before HBP. Yes, I'm slow sometimes...). It's not just Harry's Godfather, but Remus' best friend, the only one who's known him since he was 11, apart from his family...
Anyway, before I spoil half the chapter (although, if you've read OotP (WHY did I type"HBP" there! Because I want the book, that's why...) you already know how it ends), I'll let you read it. Be sure to have some tissues ready...
Quote from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events: the Reptile Room.
June 18, 1996.
"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in the world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know."
You never see disasters coming.
Both Remus and Sirius woke up rather late the following morning, which wasn't that surprising considering the time they had gone to bed. Sirius was the first to wake up. He was disoriented for a moment and couldn't remember why his room was suddenly so different. There was someone next to him, snoring a little, and it wasn't Buckbeak. That was ridiculous anyway since Buckbeak didn't snore, except that one time when he had had a cold. He looked to his left and realised that the small hill of covers, blue pyjamas and greying hair was actually Remus. In an instant, the memories of the past night came rushing back to him.
When he thought about it now, it seemed almost unbelievable. Hagrid had been kicked out of Hogwarts, McGonagall was badly wounded, Remus was his friend again. And because it had all taken place in the middle of the night it seemed like some kind of dream. But Remus next to him was proof that it wasn't.
He yawned so loudly that he woke Remus up, earning him one of Remus' more funny glares, one of the 'bloody hell can't you see I'm trying to sleep here?'-variety.
"Time to wake up," he said. "Rise and shine Moony!"
Remus grumbled and muttered something ominous.
"Didn't quite catch that," Sirius said.
"I said," came Remus' voice from somewhere among the covers, "that whether cheerful or chagrined, you always manage to be a pain in the ass."
"Really, Moony, I'm hurt." Sirius dramatically put a hand on his heart.
"Go get some breakfast and make yourself useful." Remus extracted himself from the covers and glared at his friend.
"Yes sir." Sirius made himself scarce, allowing his friend to get dressed. He got dressed himself too, then walked downstairs to get some breakfast.
The kitchen was empty except for a small pile of letters and a chagrined Kingsley Shacklebolt. The Auror jumped on Sirius as soon as he entered the kitchen.
"Where were you?" he asked. "Did you really need to lie-in until noon?"
"I didn't realise it was that late already," Sirius said, glancing at the clock. Kingsley was right; it had already been twelve o'clock. "I went to bed only early in the morning."
"Stayed up because of what happened, didn't you?" Kingsley asked. "There're a bunch of letters for you, here, and I think they're exactly about that."
He was right. Pretty much all of the letters were from Dumbledore, about where Hagrid was now, what had happened at Hogwarts, that McGonagall was indeed taken to St Mungo's and what everybody was supposed to do now. As expected, Sirius was supposed to stay at Grimmauld Place, but since he hadn't expected Dumbledore to allow him to leave anyway he wasn't that angry about it.
"It says here that Hagrid pretty much took on five Aurors single-handedly," he said to Kingsley. "Did you hear anything about that?"
"Yeah," Kingsley said. "There's been an alert at the Auror Headquarters about Hagrid, we're not supposed to get within a range of about five yards of him in case he does something to us too. It's suspected that he went to join Dumbledore."
"Not exactly an unfounded suspicion," Sirius said. "It's at least a better guess than the escaped Death Eaters joining me."
"With all the information we had about you– and which the Ministry still thinks is the only thing we know – it would be only logical," Kingsley smiled. "But yeah, Hagrid joining Dumbledore is pretty much a given, especially when you consider why he was actually sacked."
Remus entered the kitchen, a much more awake expression on his face. He smiled when he saw Kingsley.
"Good morning," he said. "I didn't expect to see you here so early."
"It's half past twelve, Moony," Sirius said quietly. Remus looked at the clock in surprise.
"Okay, so early in the afternoon," he corrected. "I didn't know I'd slept for so long."
"I think we all overslept after tonight," Kingsley said. "I've stayed awake for most of the night too."
"Any news on what has happened?" Remus said. "How's McGonagall?"
"It's so typically you to ask for her first, and not Hagrid," Sirius grinned. He handed his friend the letters from Dumbledore, and Remus sat down to read them.
Kingsley looked surprised at the sudden change in their behaviour to each other: for all he knew, the fight between them was still going on. But he said nothing about it – he silently concluded rightly that they must have made up between now and he last time he'd seen them.
"Well," said Remus once he'd finished reading. "Considering the events, it's not too bad or unexpected. Hagrid is safe, Hogwarts is safe, the only one I'm worried about is McGonagall – I hope she'll be alright."
"Of course she will," Kingsley said. "St Mungo's can cure more serious things than that. I'm sure they'll be able to patch her up in no-time."
"Let's just hope that she doesn't come back like Moody, with parts missing," Sirius said.
"Padfoot," Remus said patiently. "She was hit in the chest. What parts would she be missing? Her heart? Her lungs? Her entire chest? I think that even St Mungo's won't be able to fix that."
"I don't know, I don't generally think about McGonagall's chest area – "
Kingsley and Remus both flinched. "God, I hate you sometimes," Remus muttered, but in a good-natured kind of way – if that was possible.
" – but now I am, let's just not continue this conversation, okay?" Sirius concluded quickly.
"The best idea you've had in years," Remus said. He turned to Kingsley. "Other subject. Why did you wait for us to come down? You must've been waiting since early this morning."
"Only three hours," Kingsley said. "I was waiting for you. You're needed – there's been an important break-through in the Sirius Black case."
"Ooh," said Sirius. "Did you find him?"
Kingsley fixed him with his gaze for a few moments. He said nothing, but Remus and Sirius could almost see him think: the idiocy I put up with sometimes…
"No," he said eventually. "I didn't. Anyway, I need Remus to tell me whether he knows any places you would go to, and more details about your past and all that. Basically, I've got to pretend I'm really working on the case instead of covering up that I already know where you are."
"Sure, I'll come," Remus said. He turned to Sirius. "I'll see you again tonight I guess."
"Ask Tonks to come too," Sirius said. "I can use some company."
"Will do."
Kingsley and Remus left Grimmauld Place, leaving Sirius in a far better mood than he had been in weeks. Kingsley commented on this when he and Remus stood on the pavement just outside number twelve, ready to Apparate.
"What on earth has made Sirius so cheerful?" he asked.
"He finally admitted that he had been wrong in this whole argument we'd been having," Remus said. "So we made up, and that's why he's so happy now."
"Sirius admitted he was wrong?" Kingsley said, smiling. He nodded to where the Headquarters of the Order was. "Are you sure it's the real Sirius?"
"Come to think of it," Remus said mock-pensively, "I didn't ask him to do the Super-Secret Handshake. Oh no." He pretended to be shocked.
Kingsley sighed. "Why is it that I like you better when you're in a bad mood?" he asked.
"Come, now," Remus said, patting Kingsley on the shoulder. "Be happy it's only me now, and not Sirius and Tonks too."
"Thank Merlin, else I'd go really mad. But enough nonsense – let's go to the Ministry."
Remus nodded, and seconds later both vanished out of sight.
Sirius was humming as he rummaged through the kitchen cupboards and the pantry, looking for something to eat for dinner tonight. The past weeks, he hadn't cared what he was eating, usually leaving preparing dinner to Molly, but he thought that maybe tonight he could make something special. Well, with his cooking skills everything he made was 'special', but this time he was planning on it being edible too.
Noise from upstairs made him pause. It sounded like a loud shriek. It didn't come from the hallway – a good thing too, else it would've woken up his Mother – but from much higher. There was only one cause for it that Sirius could think of: Buckbeak.
"Stupid animal can't even keep quiet," he muttered. He put down the canned peaches he had been holding and ran up the stairs two steps at the time. He was panting when he reached his room and threw the door open.
Buckbeak shrieked at him when he walked in. Blood ran down his flanks, leaking from two large cuts.
"Calm down!" Sirius yelled. "I'm not going to hurt you!"
Buckbeak shrieked again but appeared to recognise the man. He got calmer and allowed Sirius to get near him, to examine the cuts. Sirius carefully touched Buckbeak's flank. The cuts seemed to be made with a small knife or with very sharp fingernails. The place of the cuts, however, made it unlikely that Buckbeak had cut himself accidentally.
"What did you do?" Sirius asked the animal, puzzled. Buckbeak shrieked again but Sirius couldn't understand what he meant – if he meant anything at all.
"Who-ever did this, they've been real bastards," he said. Right at that moment, he heard a soft snickering from just outside the door. He got up quickly and ran onto the landing, but it was empty. He thought he heard a giggling coming from downstairs, but wasn't sure.
"Kreacher, if that's you," he bellowed, "I'm going to punish you so badly it's not even funny anymore." He waited for a reaction somehow, but all that followed his words was complete silence. He figured that he could of course order Kreacher to come, but he wasn't at all up to talking to the accursed house-elf right now, so he walked back in. He patted Buckbeak soothingly on the beak.
"Don't worry," he said. "I'll get some towels and warm water and I'll patch you up. Nothing to worry about."
Kreacher was in the kitchen when Sirius came down about half an hour later. The elf looked malevolently at his master and giggled softly, but said nothing.
"What are you doing here?" Sirius said disdainfully. "I know you wounded Buckbeak, don't pretend to be innocent. God, the sooner I get rid of you the better."
"Master always knew what was better for Kreacher," Kreacher muttered, bowing deeply. "Master will get what he deserves eventually," he added quietly, "Kreacher is sure, and then Master will be sorry, but it will be too late, foul blood-traitor –"
"Yes, thank you, that was quite enough out of you." Sirius took Kreacher by the rag he wore for a loincloth and threw him up the stairs to the hall. "Go be useful, if you know how."
Kreacher disappeared into the hall, still muttering darkly and occasionally snickering, but Sirius paid no more attention to him. He raked the fire up a little higher and went on with what he had been doing: preparing dinner.
He had just decided to just throw the damned potatoes on the floor, stamp on them and call the result mashed potatoes, when suddenly a burst of flames appeared once more in mid-air, just like it had done last night. A scrap of parchment fell out of it, and Sirius picked it up interestedly. He didn't recognise the handwriting, a spiky scrawl in black ink. The heading, however, clued him in.
Black,
I have had reason to believe you're not at Grimmauld Place. Please report back with assurance that you are where you're supposed to be.
S. S.
It was a miracle – even in two sentences he managed to come across as an insufferable git. Sirius wrote on the back of the scrap that he didn't know what Snape was talking about, he was doing exactly as he had been told (for his inner Remus' sake, he left out a sneering 'unlike some') and that he hadn't left Headquarters. He then waved his wand. The burst of flames appeared again, and he threw the scrap of parchment in it, clearly saying that it was intended for Severus Snape. The flames and piece of parchment disappeared as soon as he had said it.
That done, he continued cooking dinner, looking forward to Remus' company and hoping that Tonks came too.
She came, together with Kingsley and Remus. They had a good laugh at Sirius' attempt at dinner, then Kingsley offered to help Sirius out, an offer that was gladly accepted. Tonks and Remus set the table, and in no time they were ready to eat.
Had all the Weasleys and Harry been there, they wouldn't have had a better time. It was remarkable how Sirius' mood affected the others: when chagrined, the people around him got gloomy too, but now he was cheerful, there didn't seem enough time to laugh, to tease, to enjoy themselves.
When they had finished dinner and done the dishes, Sirius brought out the Butterbeer. It was too light to get really drunk, but they nevertheless got a bit giggly. They were just discussing whether they should just keep sitting here or maybe bring out the playing cards for some insane games, when the door to the kitchen opened and Alastor Moody came stomping down the stairs.
The four immediately sobered up.
"Moody!" Tonks said. "What brings you here?"
"I've visited Minerva McGonagall," Moody said, heavily sitting down on a chair and stretching out his wooden leg with a sigh of relief.
"Oh," Sirius said. They felt a little guilty – none of them had thought about visiting McGonagall. "How is she?"
"Not too good," Moody said. "Nearly unconscious most of the time. They'd only let me in because I was an Auror."
"But they will be able to make her better, right?" Remus asked anxiously.
"They told me they would." Moody eyed the bottles of Butterbeer suspiciously, then uncorked his own flask and took a swig. "And they can work miracles at St Mungo's."
"Good," Remus said. "It would be horrible if she died."
"Especially at the hands of Umbridge, and five Aurors too," Tonks agreed. The others nodded.
They were just agreeing with each other when the abrupt appearance of flames in mid-air made them jump. Like earlier that day, a scrap of parchment fell from it. Sirius took it.
"I bet it's from Snape again," he said. "He wrote to me before."
"Snape wrote to you?" Remus asked, frowning. "Whatever for?"
Sirius shrugged. "Wanted to know if I was still here, for some reason or other." He turned his attention back to the note. "I wonder what he has to whine about this time." His eyes flew along the lines. They widened abruptly as he read, and he jumped to his feet as if bitten by a snake. He cursed loudly and threw the note on the table.
"I can't fucking believe it!" he shouted.
Remus didn't ask him what he was talking about, but instead snatched the note. He read it with Tonks and Kingsley reading over his shoulder. It was indeed from Snape.
Black,
Potter has gone off to the Ministry, believing that you have been taken captive by the Dark Lord. I have reason to believe that he has taken five other students with him. Contact the rest of the Order as fast as you can; Potter needs to be taken out of the Department of Mysteries as soon as possible: it is a trap set up by the Dark Lord, there are Death Eaters waiting for him. Stay behind at Headquarters – Dumbledore can arrive there any moment.
HURRY.
S.S.
Remus looked up, horrified. "The Department of Mysteries," he said.
"He's supposed to get the prophecy," Sirius said, pacing like a caged animal. "Only he and Voldemort can take it; when he has it the Death Eaters will kill him and take it."
"We must go now," Kingsley said. "There's no time to contact the others."
"Damn right," Sirius said. He already took his wand from his pocket, but Remus stopped him.
"Sirius, no," he said sharply. "You know what Snape said."
"Screw Snape! I'm not going to sit on my arse while Harry is in danger," Sirius bellowed.
"Goddamnit, Sirius, think," Remus shouted back. It was the argument of a few weeks ago all over again, and Remus was really getting sick of it. He jumped to his feet. "You cannot go running into the Ministry, you'd get arrested at best!"
"What do I care?" Sirius yelled. "Harry could die!"
Remus was so frustrated, he stamped to his friend and shook him roughly. "Can't you see it?" he said almost desperately. "It's a plot to kill Harry. They want to lure him inside. They'd be only more delighted when they can kill you too."
"Fuck, Remus, I know," Sirius said helplessly, pitifully. "But I promised I'd look after Harry. I promised James…"
Remus looked at his friend, tears suddenly in his eyes. "Damn you both," he said softly. He couldn't refuse anymore, he just couldn't. "Damn you."
"Can we go?" Tonks said urgently. She, Kingsley and Moody were already ready to go.
"Yes," Remus said. "Give me fifteen seconds to write to Dumbledore."
"No time," Sirius said. "KREACHER!" The others flinched as he bellowed the name, but it worked – a few moments later, the house-elf appeared, eyeing them all with distrust.
"Master called?" he croaked.
"Yes, he did. Dumbledore will be arriving here soon. Tell him that we're off to the Ministry because Harry has been led to believe that I am there," Sirius said irritably. "He's gone to the Department of Mysteries. Show Dumbledore Snape's letter if you must."
"Master is going to the Ministry?" Kreacher asked. His eyes glittered.
"Yes, to rescue Harry, not because I'm arrested," Sirius snapped. "Don't get your hopes up."
That done, the five up them hurried up the stairs into the hall. Sirius threw the front door open and ran down the stairs. He didn't even take the time to appreciate that he was outside again after months, he was much too worried about Harry.
"We Apparate," he ordered before Tonks had even closed the door again.
"Go," Remus gave permission, and Sirius was gone as soon as he had said it. Remus followed a fraction of a second later, along with Kingsley, Moody and Tonks. They appeared at the telephone box a moment later. The Ministry was sealed against Apparition – the only ways to enter were the telephone box or the fires in the Atrium. Sirius had already yanked the door open and got inside.
"Hurry," he snarled.
They cramped inside and Sirius called the number. He didn't let the cool voice finish her message but immediately stated their business and their names. The badges clattering into the chute were ignored; the only thing they wanted was to get down already.
Just before the street disappeared out of sight, Remus thought he saw a skeletal horse standing just behind a parked car, looking at them with mild interest. For a moment, a surge of panic went through him – they could not use a bad omen at this time. He glanced at Sirius, but his friend did not seem to have noticed the horse. He decided not to mention it.
The telephone box could not go down fast enough for Sirius. They'd barely arrived in the Atrium when he opened the door and got out, running towards the elevators.
"Come on," he called. "We haven't got a second to loose." He was already pressing the buttons at all the elevators, scolding at the things to hurry up. Remus, Tonks, Kingsley and Moody hurried to catch up with him.
Remus had already noticed that the Atrium was oddly deserted – there was usually a watchwizard present all day round. As they went down with the elevator, he now saw that the rest of the levels were completely empty too. Of course, most employees were now home, but he had expected at least some guards, or maybe even someone working extremely late. But there was nobody.
"Listen," Kingsley said. "We should have a plan – "
"The plan is to take the Death Eaters out and make sure that Harry and the other children are safe," Sirius snapped. "That's all the plan we need." Sirius was standing right in front of the golden grille, ready to get out as soon as they had arrived at the ninth level. Remus was standing right behind him.
Time seemed to slow down for a moment.
Later, this image would appear to have been fixed on Remus' mind. Sirius standing there, his wand clutched in his hand, his other hand on the handle of the grille, a determined frown on his face. The only thing on his mind was Harry, saving Harry, making sure his Godson was alright… That was all that mattered.
The elevator stopped abruptly and Sirius pulled the door open. They entered a long corridor with torches on the wall. Remus had spend many hours here keeping guard, hidden in an Invisibility Cloak. Like during those hours, the rest of the world seemed to have disappeared.
They ran down the corridor towards a black door. Sirius opened it and they ended up in a circular room. There were doors all around with candles between them, the blue light reflected on the marble floor.
Sirius closed the door.
Sirius would never forgive himself if he came too late. It was all his fault – he should have been more insistent that Harry learn Occlumency. If Harry died now… He didn't dare think of it. If Harry died… he'd die himself. He would have failed – his life would have been useless…
If Harry died…
As soon as Sirius had shut the door, the room began to rotate so fast that the blue candles drew blue lines in a circle around them.
"What's happening?" Tonks asked, fear in her voice. Only Moody had been here before, years ago. They had no idea what to expect.
"Which is the right door?" Remus asked. Sirius' mood was infectious – he was starting to panic himself too.
He had barely said it when the doors stopped again. Sirius didn't hesitate and pulled one open. They saw a large, dark room, except that it wasn't really a room – there seemed to be no floor, no ceiling, no walls, just vast, immense space. To Remus' horrified fascination, he realised it was just space: he saw planets move, encircled by moons; there were stars, and in the middle, almost too bright to look at, the sun.
"Merlin," Kingsley said, just as fascinated, "it's the universe." For a moment, the five of them just looked, transfixed. Sirius was the first to snap out of it. He slammed the door shut.
"Harry's not there," he said. "We need to get on."
As soon as he had shut the door, the circular room began to rotate again. When it stopped, Sirius opened another door. They saw shelves and shelves of clocks, an assortment of Timeturners falling down and getting up again. The room was a mess, tables had been turned upside down and shards of glass littered the floor.
"Harry?" Sirius called desperately. No answer. He slammed the door shut again, and the room began to rotate once more.
"This isn't working!" Sirius said frustratedly. "He could be anywhere." He looked around. "We want to find Harry Potter!" he shouted to nobody in particular.
It was as if the room had been waiting for instructions. The doors stopped abruptly, and the one right in front of them opened slightly. Sirius slammed it open and ran into the room.
It was a large room, rectangular, with doors on all sides. Long tables stood in the middle, potions were quietly bubbling. There was no light except that coming from the fires under the cauldrons. Mountains of glass bottles and intricate constructions of glass pipes covered the tables.
Sirius paid no attention to what was in the room. He ran to the other side, where another door had opened slightly.
"Be careful!" Moody warned them all as they ran through the room. "This is a dangerous place. Do not touch anything you don't absolutely have to touch! Stay away from any doors or passages you don't have to go to! Especially in the Death Chamber!" Sirius didn't seem to hear it. He pushed the door open and burst through it, the other four on his heels.
He nearly keeled over. It was a large rectangular room, a sort of arena, it seemed, with stone steps descending to a centre. There was a dais in the middle with an archway on it. A grey veil hung from it, fluttering softly, kindly almost. Welcoming.
Sirius ignored it. Right down there, on the dais, was Harry. A group of Death Eaters was standing in half a circle before him.
Harry, he thought. I'm here. You're saved. Don't worry. I'll take care of this…
Tonks was the first to send a spell, right at Lucius Malfoy. He was taken by surprise, as were the other Death Eaters as the five members of the Order of the Phoenix ran down the steps, continuously sending spells at them. The Death Eaters were forced into a defensive position.
Without discussing it, acting on instinct, Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Kingsley and Moody split up, each taking on a Death Eater. Kingsley took on two at a time, Moody was soon locked in a duel with Dolohov, Sirius was the farthest down, duelling more furiously than he had ever done. Remus himself was duelling a Death Eaters at least a head taller than he himself was. He had just managed to Stun the man and saw him crash to the ground when he caught sight of the woman Tonks was duelling with.
Bellatrix Lestrange.
For a moment, he could do nothing but look, transfixed. She moved with a feline grace, sending curses at Tonks in an almost leisurely way. Like Sirius, she had long black hair that hung loose on her back, and like Sirius her face was gaunt, an obsessed flicker in her eyes. But Remus could see the woman she had once been, a formidable opponent, a member of the house of Black, the purest blood in the country, a force to be reckoned with. Beautiful. Deadly. For less than a second – a moment between two curses – she looked at him, she'd felt him look. A smirk flitted across her face, triumphantly, tauntingly.
The next moment, she went at Tonks with doubled strength, slowly forcing her backwards. She let out a maniacal laugh as Tonks was forced into a defensive position.
Remus looked across the room. Jets of light were everywhere. Kinsgley had taken out one of his opponents and was now duelling the one left. Sirius was duelling with Dolohov now, trying to get him away from Harry and Neville. Remus frantically looked to find Moody, and finally saw him lying on the floor near Sirius, his head bleeding, his eyes closed, his hand with his wand limply on the floor.
He ran down the stone steps to help Sirius, ducking for the curses flying right over his head. When he was halfway through the steps, Sirius suddenly began running towards him. Remus looked over his shoulder to see what had happened, just in time to see Tonks fall down the stairs, unconsciously, rolling from step to step.
Bellatrix stood triumphantly laughing higher above her, then turned around and began running up the steps. Sirius rushed past Remus and began running up the steps too, pursuing his cousin.
"Take care of Harry," he shouted in passing. He was gone before Remus could even react.
He turned round again and ran further. He knew Harry and Neville were near the dais, and he frantically tried to find them in the haze of dust and spells. He found them just in time – Lucius Malfoy was standing ready to kill them.
Harry blew Malfoy off his back with a well-placed Impedimenta. The Death Eater crashed back into the dais. He recovered quickly; snarling, he pointed his wand at the two boys.
Remus jumped between Malfoy and Harry and waved his wand so fast he heard it whistle. Malfoy was thrown sideways, got up again and attacked, a scowl on his face, ready to kill.
It was her. Bellatrix. Sirius had only realised she was there when he saw her duel with Tonks. From that moment on, she seemed to be always in his conscience – he was duelling with other Death Eaters, but at the same time he knew exactly where she was. He knew she was just as aware of his presence.
It was a matter of honour. Family honour. Tonight, the two sides of the family Black, the side that followed Dumbledore and the side that followed Voldemort, would finally take on each other. Sirius was determined to kill her, to finally wipe out her side, to cut away the infested branch.
And he knew she was just as determined to kill him.
Malfoy duelled with the air of a desperate man, a man who had nothing to loose. He threw curses almost faster than Remus could block them, and he needed every bit of his concentration just to stay alive. Thus, he didn't notice Dumbledore's arrival until Malfoy did.
The Death Eater was noticeably thrown off-balance for a moment. Genuine fear flickered in his eyes as he looked up the steps. He knew the case was lost.
Remus took advantage of his distraction to send a Stunning Spell at him – it hit Malfoy squarely in the stomach and send him flying backwards, unconscious. Remus threw a full body-bind after him for good measure. He had already forgotten about Malfoy as soon as he had turned around. Relief surged through him as he saw Dumbledore run down the steps: they were saved.
Dumbledore did single-handedly what three Aurors hadn't even managed. One of the few Death Eaters left tried to flee, but Dumbledore pulled him back with his wand as effortlessly as a child gathering his toys together. The others were just as easily taken care of.
The only ones still fighting, on the dais, were Sirius and Bellatrix Lestrange. Remus raised his wand and walked towards it to join Sirius, to help him.
It was insane, perhaps, and maybe he himself was insane, he didn't know. But Sirius finally felt alive. He hadn't felt like this since the first war, when he had been twenty-one, fifteen years ago. As he flashed his wand almost like one would do a broadsword, he felt his blood rush through his veins. He could hear his heart beating, triumphant music in his head seemed to drawn out the noise from the fighting, the only thing he saw was the woman in front of him.
They were an equal match, and both knew it. She was taunting him, trying to find his weaknesses, and he immediately copied her method and improved it. They were duelling with words as much as with wands.
"Don't worry, Sirius," she said, a smirk on her face, "it won't be long now before you can join your little Gryffindor friends."
"I'd like to see you try!" he called back, sending a Stunner at him which she skilfully deflected. She screamed in frustration and send a jet of red light his way. He ducked quickly, laughing.
"Come on, you can do better than that!" he said, taunting her.
He had never felt as alive as he did now.
Remus saw him take the hit. A red jet of light, squarely on the chest.
Sirius' eyes widened in shock. He staggered backwards, long strands of hair fluttering in the movement. Bellatrix screamed in victory as her cousin fell. Slowly.
He fell.
Remus screamed himself too, although he didn't even realise it. He ran towards the dais, futilely trying to stop Sirius, hoping that he would be in time although he knew with heartbreaking certainty that he would never be.
Sirius never got the chance to regain his balance. He crashed down on the dais, slid to the archway and disappeared behind the veil. He was gone.
Remus stopped abruptly. His body realised it was too late, but his mind seemed to be too numb to wrap itself around the fact that it couldn't be helped, it could never be helped.
Stay away from any doors or passages you don't have to go to! Especially in the Death Chamber! Moody's warning echoed in his mind. The sound was turned off, time slowed down, he could do nothing but look at the gently fluttering veil.
Footsteps got louder behind him. He turned around and saw Harry rushing towards the dais. Instinctively, he reached out to hold the boy back.
As they practically crashed into each other, the sound was suddenly turned back again, but twice as hard it seemed. Life painfully continued, and the realisation of what has just happened almost made Remus pass out. But he couldn't – he had to take care of Harry…
"There's nothing you can do, Harry –" he told the boy as much as himself.
Harry didn't seem to listen. "Get him, save him, he's only just gone through," he pleaded, stretching out his hand to the dais.
" – it's too late, Harry."
"We can still reach him – " Harry fought against Remus' grip, but Remus wouldn't let go. He felt much better with his back towards the dais – he could ignore it now, pretend it just wasn't there. He only had to keep Harry away from it, Harry going there would make it all too real.
But it was real. He knew it. He could pretend it wasn't, but he would have to face it. He would have to get through this. Somehow. He would have to be strong, if only for Harry's sake.
"There's nothing you can do, Harry…" he said to the boy, still struggling to keep him on his place. "Nothing… he's gone."
"He hasn't gone!" Harry protested. "SIRIUS!" he yelled, "SIRIUS."
"He can't come back, Harry." Harry's insistence that Sirius wasn't dead made it only more painful for Remus himself. With every word he spoke, he felt like he was driving a knife further into his flesh. "He can't come back, because he's d– "
"HE – IS – NOT – DEAD," Harry shouted to Remus and the dais. "SIRIUS."
Remus began dragging the boy back, away from the dais. Harry still fought furiously, both against Remus and against what he didn't want to realise was true.
Neville had slid down the stone steps towards Remus and Harry. His nose was swollen and bled violently, his legs were dancing frantically because of a spell, but he did not seem to care.
"Harry?" he said. "Harry… I'b really sorry… Was dad man – was Sirius Black a – a friend of yours?"
Harry nodded wordlessly. He had given up struggling Remus' grip, but Remus held his arm just to be sure.
"Here," Remus said quietly. He pointed his wand at Neville's legs. "Finite." They stopped dancing. "Let's – let's find the others," he suggested, aware that he had to give himself something to do, something to think about before he went mad. Behind him, he could hear Kingsley and Bellatrix duel, but he didn't dare to look. It would mean looking at the archway too. "Where are they all, Neville?"
"Dey're all back dere," Neville said, pointing up the stone steps. "A brain addacked Ron bud I dink he's all righd – and Herbione's unconscious, bud we could feel a bulse – "
There was a loud bang behind him. Remus had turned around before he could help himself. Kingsley fell down, yelling in pain. Bellatrix immediately turned around and ran, trying to save her skin. Dumbledore tried to pull her back with a spell, but she deflected it, halfway up the steps.
Harry took his chance.
"Harry – no!" Remus yelled as Harry freed himself and ran after Bellatrix.
"SHE KILLED SIRIUS!" he shouted furiously, "SHE KILLED HIM – I'LL KILL HER!"
"HARRY!" Remus shouted once more, but in vain. Harry had already disappeared. Oh God, he thought, but he didn't say it. He didn't have the time to think about what he was feeling, about what had happened, about S–
"Are you alright?" he asked Neville. The boy nodded, blood splattering everywhere.
"Yes," he said. "Help de odhers."
This was something Remus could do. Helping was a good thing. He sat Neville down on the steps and tore a piece off one of the Death Eaters' robes. He gave the cloth to Neville and told him to stop the bleeding, then he walked up the steps towards where Neville had pointed.
The large rectangular room was a mess. The floor was covered with shards of glass, greenish goo and shattered furniture. He first checked on Hermione, who was unconscious but still alive. Ginny seemed just woken up. He concluded that her ankle was broken, but otherwise she seemed to be fine. He discovered Luna Lovegood behind a table. When he asked her if she could remember what had happened, she could only make soft groaning sounds, staring up at him with her large eyes. The one that worried him the most was Ron. The red-haired boy was lying on the floor with what almost seemed like a cauliflower in his hands. Long strands of something were wrapped around his arms. Ron didn't seem to mind this very much: he was giggling softly. Only occasionally did he twitch, as if he was struggling something. Remus kneeled down next to him, but he couldn't think of what to do. Undoubtedly he had read about this somewhere, but he just couldn't remember it. His mind had gone numb, he knew nothing. He let Ron for what he was and walked back to the room with the dais. He sat down on the threshold of the door leading towards the Death Chamber and looked down.
Dumbledore was still there. He quickly put an Anti-Disapparating Jinx on the remaining Death Eaters and checked on Kingsley, Moody and Tonks. When he concluded that they were still alive and not in serious harm, he left them were they were and quickly ran up the stairs. He said nothing to Remus when he passed him, and Remus said nothing to him. He felt too tired to speak.
He was sitting there, alone, with five wounded children behind him and three Aurors and a group of Death Eaters before him, and he could do nothing. He knew he ought to help the children, that he should help Kingsley, who was still groaning with pain after Bellatrix had cursed him, but he remained where he was. He was watching the veil in the archway flutter softly, though there was no wind to move it. The sight of it was peaceful, soothing, like watching the sea. He told himself that he had to get up, to help the others. That the peaceful veil down there had swallowed Sirius, that his friend was dead, would never come back…
He remained seated, and he had the feeling that he could sit here for the rest of his life, if only the rest of the world would just stay away…
The rest of the world never does what you want when you absolutely, desperately want it. About half an hour after Dumbledore had left the Death Chamber, three Aurors walked into the room behind Remus. They were quickly followed by a squad of Healers from St Mungo's, who began taking care of the children and the three Aurors.
They were far too noisy and busy for Remus' taste. They kept bustling around, carrying stretches down the stairs, arguing loudly over what could have happened, while all he wanted was peace and quiet.
He fled when they began bothering him. Surely he wouldn't just sit there on the threshold doing nothing if there was nothing wrong with him? A Healer practically began interrogating him, trying to pull answers out of him, but he didn't want to talk. He eventually stammered that there was nothing wrong with him, nothing had happened – and he felt an almost physical pain when he realised what a lie that was. The pain increased when he realised that from now on, there would be nobody to get people off his back in situations like this. He would always have to fend for himself. He was completely alone.
The Healer eventually let him go, and he walked quickly to the elevators to the Atrium, avoiding to look at the mess around him. The children had already been taken away to St Mungo's, the doors in the circular room that led from the Brain Room to the corridor stood wide open, and the Department of Mysteries looked completely harmless. The thought of what happened just an hour before was surreal. He had told the Healers that he would go home, and he did – he went to the house that he now considered home: number twelve Grimmauld Place.
He screwed up his face when he shut the door behind him, seemingly locking the rest of the world out. Here, there was nobody to try and get him to talk, nobody to bother him. He could be completely himself here.
He had to hide.
He quickly walked up the stairs, rushing to his room. He felt like he could collapse any minute now, and he had to be safely hidden somewhere. It was simply impossible for him to get his feelings out if there was even the slightest chance somebody else could see it. When distressed, he didn't lash out, but he withdrew inside himself, crawled into a corner of his mind and coped with it there. When it was something huge that happened, the only thing that helped was to literally hide in a small confined place. In this case, the small space between his bed and the wall. He sat down on the floor and drew his knees to his chest. There was a painful burning feeling in both his eyes and his chest, and his head did not seem to be working properly. His thoughts, normally so organized and intelligent, now spun around one thing which he continuously, expressly told himself not to think about.
Sirius taking that jet of red light on the chest.
Don't think about that, he told himself. Don't think about it.
His eyes widened in shock – he had believed he was invincible, he always had.
Don't cry, just don't. Keep yourself together.
He fell down in a graceful arc, seemingly slowly, although in reality it must not have been five seconds.
Don't be weak, don't cry.
He fell.
Don't cry, just don't.
Sirius.
Don't cry.