Author's Note: This one is a little short, but I had to get something out before LibraHorse came home.

The Really Big Fortress of Love wasn't a terribly exciting thing to behold. It was just the Really Big Fortress of Evil with a shoddy white paint job and inspirational messages like 'Napoleon is Watching' and 'Believe. Obey. Fight!' scribbled on the walls. Taesup even claimed he saw Minimus' epic "Comrade Napoleon" on one wall. However, before anyone could prove or disprove this claim, they were jostled inside by some angry pigs, pushed down a flight of stairs, and shoved into a large dungeon cell. Before slamming the door shut, Squealer informed them that their education would begin in the morning.

A grim situation took a turn for the bizarre when our heroes looked at their inmates with bemused expressions. Pip, fifteen Royal Sentinels, Paris and the remainder of the partygoers from the Capulet's party all glared back at them. Before anyone could advise her otherwise, Juliet introduced her parents and Paris to their new son-in-law. Lady Capulet fainted and a brawl ensued. Tybalt was not sure who to help, so he beat up everyone in his comfort zone, which happened to have a ten-foot radius.

After everyone was beaten well beyond the point where they could have created a unified force against their piggy captors, they began to discuss intelligent, important matters.

"Pip, how is it that you lost a well-fortified castle with something less than three-hundred soldiers at your disposal… to a bunch of pigs?"

"Alas, I relied too heavily on Plan Delta to melt their minds and make them living vegetables. It was for this reason that I tore down the front doors to make a bigger throne to satisfy my ego. When someone shut down Plan Delta, I was completely unprotected. The pigs marched in and ate twelve of my soldiers and put me in here! I really don't understand it. All I did was order my guards to run around it circles."

After this speech, everyone decided to revert to mindless bickering, as they were most likely to retain their I.Q. level by not conversing in an intelligent manner.

For hours they debated the stupidity of dance-themed doomsday plans, the stupidity of Veronan soldiers, the stupidity of Montagues, the stupidity of Capulets, the complete impotency of students from a futuristic parallel universe, and pasta's role in creating World Peace™.

The squabbling continued into the night, and then the early hours of the morning. Finally, Tybalt ended all discussion with, "Peace. I hate the word as I hate Hell, all Montagues, and thee," he pointed at Mercutio, "and thee," he pointed at Chris, Taesup, Dan, Reece, Blake, Pat R., Stephanie, Tim, Dan R., Caitlin, Jim, Pat, and Ramya, "and thee!" he finished as he bit his thumb at everyone present.

"Don't you hate me as you hate hell and all Montagues?" asked Julie, a little hurt to be left out.

"No, anyone who yells as much as you must be as angry as me. That's a person to be respected; and above all, feared."

"Okay."

Presently, a pig in a full suit of armor entered and escorted each prisoner to their respective classrooms one by one until only Dan and Royal Sentinel of Fair Verona #290 were left. "Dan, it is time for your reeducation," the pig said impassively.

Panicked at the thought of being left alone in the dank cell, #290 cried out, "No, Dan, stay with me in here!"

Dan looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which. So he took a lucky guess and went with the pig.