Author's Note: I really don't have much to say, but here's a shameless advertisement for Libra Horse'snew story. If you like Harry Potter, it's rediculously funny and best of all, it's written by the real LibraHorse! The one, the only, and not an imposter like me! On the subject of LibraHorse, my good and kind benefactor, who I don't think I've ever thanked in the course of this tale, (which I'll do in a second) she's in this story! And you (yes, you, right there) could get a cookie if you can guesswho she is. Or who I am, as I'm in the story too. Anyway, thank you LibraHorse for letting me use your account.

Dan did not enjoy the class very much. The pig/teacher did not put on any music at the bell and all he talked about was how they should all love Napoleon, for he was good and benevolent and autocratic. Dan was thrilled when an excited chicken flew through the door crying, "Boxer! Boxer has returned to us!"

The pig and his class ran to the front door, where they saw the biggest horse any of them had ever seen. Sheep had surrounded it, and they were chanting, "Boxer! Boxer! Boxer! Boxer!"

The farm animals were so overcome with emotion to see their hero back from Sugarcandy Mountain that there was a simultaneous uprising of the proletariat and the pigs were out of power. In the following euphoria, the Really Big Fortress of Love was torn down brick by brick. This event ushered in the Golden Age of Animals, a happy time of frolicking and merriment which lasted until the end of the universe.

"So you see," said Jim, "As Marx predicted, the workers of the WORLD united and stuff happened."

Odysseus and Kyle hopped out of the wooden horse. "Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but it works," said a puzzled Odysseus.

While everyone was congratulating Kyle and Odysseus on their spectacular achievement, Pip was plotting. He needed revenge. He had forgotten why, but he needed revenge. It had to be dastardly, cunning, and completely unoriginal. He summoned Royal Sentinel of Fair Verona #5½ to his side. "Kidnap the almost-fourteen-year old over there."

"Yessir."

"Mister Sir."

"Yessir, Mister Sir."

Thirty minutes later, Romeo wanted to snog Juliet in the tradition of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. However, he couldn't find her anywhere in the crowd outside the ruins of the Really Big Fortress of Love. So he did what any young Veronan noble would do: He sat down and cried. While sobbing on the ground, he discovered a note. He stared at it for a while, and then called his uneducated page to read it out loud to him.

His page frowned. "This is a cruel joke, sire."

"Yes, but whenever I'm not making out with Juliet I'm a jerk, so deal with it," Romeo agreed.

After much difficulty, the page was able to read out:

Dear Victim,

I am EVIL! Fear me!

I have taken Juliet to the graveyard.

You will never find her!

For I am EVIL!

Signed anonymously,

Phillip 'Pip' Pirrup, Evil Overlord Esq.

While Romeo was quite angered by this mysterious letter, he was no so angsty that he felt he could find her on his own. So he turned to his friends for help. After they refused, he begged, and when that failed, he groveled. Finally, they agreed, as they had to go to the graveyard anyway. As they began to meander towards the graveyard, Benvolio, Romeo's cousin, stopped them. "Wait, I can help!"

Tybalt rolled his eyes. "No, you can't. I OWNED you in Act I, Scene I."

"Actually, if he drinks enough, Benvolio can be pretty tough. Like that one time where he pounded this dude for having too few hairs on his head," admonished Mercutio.

The boys showed signs of intense interest. Julie yelled at them, explaining (in a loud voice) that they had to help Juliet. "Shut up! I want to know what happens!"

Julie was so surprised that Kyle actually wanted something that, for the first time she could remember, she shut up.

"As I was saying, Benvolio was dead drunk. It was a hot summer's day, much like this one. Between the heat and the alcohol, he was something to see. So there comes this guy, and he's bald. And Benvolio's all like, 'Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you bald head!' And then there's a huge fight, and I'm like, 'Whoa,' and Benvolio just beats up everyone in the bar."

"But Mercutio, that was Tybalt," said Benvolio, "You were so drunk that you didn't see me cowering under the table."

"Mary, I had no idea."

Having wasted all that time, the group, minus Juliet and plus Benvolio (who, in truth had no reason to be there) set off for the graveyard.

The sun began to set on Verona. Twelve hours remained until the end of the universe, and the Second Coming of Mr. Hanna.

Author's Note: Last chapter coming soon, same bat-time, same bat-site.