Chapter 20

• Shapes of the Mind •

When dawn approached, Gwyl was at the entrance of the caves, waiting. He knew Kangon would return.

The rock that covered the entrance slid to the side, and Gwyl shivered as the caged feeling disappeared. He knew now that he was no longer trapped, so it was much easier to stay in the cave.

The sun was rising, cresting the jungle canopy and lighting up the pack of werewolves that were near the cave entrance. Most of them were sitting, looking dazed or tired. A few of the younger ones were asleep, or within moments of falling asleep. There was a small group of them near Kangon that didn't seem tired in any way. There eyes watched warily as Gwyl sprinted out of the cave, roaring in anger and then as he stood and growled a challenge to Kangon.

Kangon, who had been bent over one of the yearlings, ignoring Gwyl for the most part, stood and turned slowly. His eyes, still an amber color, blinked, but showed no surprise. Something edged along Gwyl, traces of magic that slowly began building. Gwyl sniffed the air as a burst of the magic flowed off Kangon and struck Gwyl full on.

Gwyl shuddered for a moment, feeling the magic fill something inside him, as if there was a hole for it to go, and then he growled again, angry that Kangon hadn't responded to his challenge yet. Kangon looked surprised, as if the magic should have caused Gwyl to back down. Finally, he blinked again, and his eyes were the color of the trees, a faded brown. He leaned forward and snarled, accepting the challenge.

Twenty minutes later, inside the largest cavern, the werewolf pack had reformed. Most of them were awake still, but they looked more tired, as if they were about to pass out. All of those who'd been asleep were either awakened or carried in. Since Gwyl had issued the challenge, it had been Kangon's choice as to where it was to be held. Kangon seemed to like the idea of fighting inside the cave even if it wasn't Gwyl's preference. The cave likely gave Kangon an edge, but Gwyl didn't care. He simply wanted to kill Kangon for insulting and caging him again.

Once the pack had assembled, Kangon moved forward with two others behind him, standing like guards. Gwyl sat at the other side of the cave, waiting for the moment. He stood in a fluid movement and Stray moved next to him. He turned to her, his senses flared and his eyes wide. She dropped her head and whimpered, dropping back to the ground with her Leopards. Silver growled slightly, but didn't move forward. Dog watched, a little uneasy, but not showing any signs of joining Gwyl. They'd known each other the longest and Dog knew exactly when he was needed; now was not one of those times.

Kangon turned his head slightly towards his two guards and both of them fell back to the ring that had formed as he stepped forward. Gwyl pulled himself upright, or as close as he would, he stayed crouched just slightly, his knees bent just enough to move as fast as was possible.

Once both of them had entered near the center of the cavern several wolves snarled from the edge. They were not snarls of challenge, but of anger that this new human would challenge the leadership so quickly. There was a process which had to be followed to challenge Kangon for the leadership, but Gwyl was not challenging him for leadership, he was challenging him for what had been done to him. None of the other wolves understood it; none of them knew what Kangon knew. So, Kangon snarled back at them and all of their protests fell silent.

When Kangon returned to focus on Gwyl, he was surprised to see the boy lunge forward at a speed that rivaled his own. He moved far too fast to dodge well, and Kangon slipped sideways, pulling away from the blade that had, almost as if by magic, appeared in Gwyl's hand. The knife caught him, just enough for a thin sliver of red to form on his arm.

Surprised at Gwyl's speed and tenacity, Kangon shrank back to the edge of the cavern near some of his wolves, rethinking his approach. He was no longer confident in winning easily, and he watched Gwyl move, wondering how he had become so strong. It was absurd, the boy was both human and a child, and yet was not truly either of them. He shook away the thought, trying to stay focused on what was happening, not how Gwyl had become what he was. He never once took his eyes from the wolf in front of him.

Kangon no longer harbored any doubt that Gwyl was a wolf. Gwyl had introduced himself as the Wolf-Demon, but Kangon had thought it only a title until a moment ago. Now it was difficult to think of the cub as anything other than a wolf - his posture, strength, aggression, all of it screamed wolf.

Kangon shuddered at the though while Gwyl moved around the circle, learning his boundaries like an experienced fighter might. Kangon though about what a shame it would be to force the Wolf-Demon into the servitude that came with being a werewolf. He knew that Gwyl would eventually break the werewolf urges that would bind him. For a while, though, they would subjugate him, break him at least a little, likely much more.

When Kangon had first been bitten, he'd hated himself, hated being caged inside his body. It wasn't just on fool moons, it was whenever something sparked the wolf inside - blood, lust, power, magic... all of them brought the wolf out and it was the wolf that had the power, not himself. It had taken him years to become stronger than the wolf, to control himself in all things. He refused to place that curse on Gwyl, because it would damage him. Instead of being trapped inside a cave, he would be trapped inside himself and unable to do anything about it.

Gwyl slid forward again, crossing the distance in one smooth movement. Kangon was ready this time and dodged just as fluidly. Moving as quickly as possible and using Gwyl's momentum, he caught Gwyl's body and flung it as hard as he could across the cave into the upper wall.

Gwyl spun in mid air, but arched his body, shoving his hands and feet out behind him before crashing into the wall. It softened the blow considerably, but he tumbled down from the roof in a great deal of pain. He could hear his pack fighting against someone, trying to move forward to him, disobeying the orders he'd given them. Slowly he got to his feet, surprising Kangon a great deal. Gwyl didn't know that the blow should have defeated him, that it would have defeated all but three of the werewolf pack.

As Kangon reconsidered Gwyl again, Gwyl turned to his pack growling for them to stop. Dog, who had gotten to his feet finally, whimpered and sunk to the ground. Silver froze, and stared, teeth bared, waiting, but not backing down. It was Stray who was causing the most trouble; she was fighting two werewolves who were struggling to keep her still.

"Stray," Gwyl growled quietly, he had no need to be loud, his voice carried a threat that every wolf in the cave understood. All of them stopped what they were doing and stared. Stray turned to him, eyes wide with surprise. She seemed beaten back by the tone he'd used and she dropped her head, whimpering.

The wolves around her backed away slightly, letting the Gwyl's pack have room, but not going too far. They glanced to Gwyl again, surprise still evident, but he ignored them and turned back to the fight.

Kangon lunged forward the moment Gwyl had turned to him, trying to catch Gwyl unaware. It was quick, a blur of movement that few could see. However, Gwyl was just as fast, and he dodged nimbly out of the way.

At the side of the cavern, some of the cubs that were still awake giggled. While they were unable to follow the action well, the movements they did see seemed both fascinating and humorous. The yearlings on the other hand, watched in awe as Gwyl twisted away from a second attack and launched an attack as Kangon moved back.

Kangon's attack had unbalanced Gwyl a bit, making him slower than he should have been, but his blade flashed again and another lace of red appeared across Kangon's back, this one much thicker and deeper than the first mark. It wasn't much more than a flesh wound, but the whole back caught their breath at the same moment, unsure how to react. Kangon had risen to leadership of the pack easily, not even receiving a single wound from the challengers. Even those who hadn't seen it had heard the stories that were passed through the pack, so all of them knew of it.

Ignoring the spectators, Gwyl launched himself forward after the retreating Kangon. But, Kangon had used the moment of distraction to focus and evade Gwyl's attacks, jumping backwards with tremendous force. As Gwyl moved forward again, Kangon spun in mid-air, slashing at Gwyl with claws that seemed to have grown right out of his hands. Gwyl was more than just surprised, but he threw his weight to one side, spinning uncontrollably out of the way and losing hold of his knife.

He didn't land; he crashed and bounced against the ground with tremendous force, then rolled to a stop near the edge of the cave. He jerked, rolling back to his feet, but facing the wrong way. He looked up to Tala's awestruck face and then jerked to the side when he saw Kangon's attack reflected in her eyes. He didn't get away unscathed, something had caught his arm and torn his elbow up.

Gwyl snarled when he landed on his feet, once again unbalanced, but not enough to be caught by an attack. He spun back to his opponent, nursing his elbow for a moment and watching Kangon. He saw the light reflect off what had cut him, his white knife. Gwyl snarled, but didn't move forward, his elbow screamed in pain and something filled him, a fury that he'd only felt once before.

Kangon didn't attack immediately, he was stretching, and Gwyl was sure he was testing his own wounds to see how well he could attack. Somehow he'd been struck more than Gwyl thought; he was touching his shoulders, as if they had been hurt.

While Kangon did this, Gwyl tested his arm, seeing how much he could use it. It screamed in pain, but he ignored it and tested it. The wound was deep, and had cut him bad enough that Gwyl determined his left hand was almost useless. He growled, angry that he had been wounded so deeply so quickly.

Kangon growled too and flashed his teeth. Both shot forward instantly, but Gwyl's posture was tighter, holding his wounded arm close to his body so that it was not exposed. Kangon was much closer to the wall, while Gwyl was in the center of the cavern. They met close to one wall and Kangon shoved the white knife forward at Gwyl's stomach. It was a move intended to cause a fatal wound; Kangon was fighting for real now.

Of course, Gwyl dodged sideways, but continued forward just as fast. He jumped into the air at an angle, twisting at the same time. His feet made contact with the wall and he absorbed the shock of striking the wall and shoved himself off as hard as he could.

Meanwhile Kangon slid to a stop, his movements too fast to stop on a dime. He knew that Gwyl would have the same problem, so he wasn't ready when he spun around and found Gwyl flying at him.

When Gwyl made contact he caught Kangon with his hands, grabbed the alpha's shoulders and used them to swing his knees in, making contact with Kangon's stomach first, then he folded in half over Kangon's shoulder. Both of them were thrown to the ground and the knife in Kangon's hand skittered across the floor. Gwyl only noted were it headed, but otherwise ignored it.

Immediately Kangon shifted his weight, throwing himself from the floor to his feet. Even with Gwyl's weight on him he made it seem effortless, which it likely was. Gwyl pulled his legs back and rolled over Kangon's back, landing on his hands and then twisting quickly, kicking at Kangon. The blow struck Kangon full on and he spun away, but turned back immediately.

When Gwyl jumped forward onto him he was ready. The two of them wrestled on the ground, growling and tearing at each other without remorse. Teeth and hands were the primary weapons, but anything that moved was used. Between the tight, sweaty skin and the lack of clothing, neither of them could hold on to anything. Blood and sweat splattered those who the two came close to on the sidelines.

Few could follow the action and even fewer could tell whose blood was being shed at any particular moment. At one point Kangon got a grip on Gwyl's arm and tried to use it to bash Gwyl into the floor, but Gwyl wrapped his arms around Kangon's back and buried his fingers into the solid muscles, holding him tight.

Kangon was able to throw Gwyl, but it didn't work as he'd planned. Gwyl got to his feet on the opposite side of the cavern and spit a bloody chunk of meat he'd torn from Kangon's shoulder. He grinned and growled, blood spattered face and eyes lit with something feral. His body was marred in every region, and bruises had already started to form on his stomach and chest where the beating had been focused. He groaned when he found that the left arm had even less movement.

For the most part, Gwyl ignored his wounds, knowing that to lick them now would only bring about his defeat. He bent over, snarling, remembering the feeling of burying his face into human flesh as he'd done once before. He remembered crushing them like twigs, and the feeling of superiority. It drove him, brought out something he didn't understand. He could feel magic welling up around him, and he knew it was from within himself. Gwyl knew he was doing something, even if he had no control over it.

Behind him, Tala, who had been watching with intense interest, suddenly found it hard to breathe. She had never seen anything like this challenge. Kangon had been in fights before while she lived with the pack. A few males were always foolish enough to test Kangon's strength, but none had ever come close to beating him. For that matter, she couldn't remember a single time when he'd been wounded. However there he was, covered in blood, some his own, some Gwyl's, but he was marked and eager. His eyes had turned amber again, and she supposed hers had too; it was the only way to even follow the fight. Very few of the pack had the ability to partially transform, and she could only do it with her eyes, but she'd tried to hide it until now because it simply made her more of an outcast than she already was.

When Gwyl launched himself forward with a fresh spurt of speed she gaped. He was hunched and his green eyes had gotten brighter, if it were possible. His hair was beginning to clump with blood and the dirt that was thrown up from the movements. His left arm, which she thought had been rendered useless, touched the ground and he used it to propel himself forward faster, running hand over foot until he struck Kangon and sent him flying into the back wall. He dropped to the ground, slightly dazed, but able to dodge the next attack. They didn't stop or slow, Gwyl simply threw himself forward over and over again, giving Kangon no chance to counter. It was all the alpha wolf could do just to dodge. He wasn't being injured, but he wasn't doing anything but moving out of the way either.

Gwyl finally cornered Kangon against a sharp point in the wall that was receded slightly. The wolves had moved away as Kangon approached, leaving the fighting to the two in the battle, but they didn't seem to like it one bit when Kangon found himself in a position where he could only launch an offensive or be beaten to a pulp. There was no where to retreat to, not that Kangon would think about retreating, because he was the alpha of the pack. They could also see that Gwyl would hurt him because of that. Some were beginning to think that Gwyl was trying to become the alpha of the pack.

Another werewolf, thinking to catch Gwyl off guard, moved in behind Gwyl. There was no response at first, but the moment he reached forward, Gwyl shifted and in an instant he found himself airborne. Gwyl flipped him in mid air, slammed him into the wall then dropped him like a doll.

None of the others moved forward to help the battered wolf, but another tried to attack Gwyl. The wolf was smart about it, moving forward in Gwyl's blind spot, but he moved too fast, and when Gwyl caught his arms he simply spun a full 180, violently throwing the wolf 30 feet into the far wall of the cave. That wolf also collapsed as he struck the ground.

Returning to his original prey, Kangon, he found that there was no one there. Kangon was fast, and Gwyl turned, barely catching his movement. He was ready for Kangon's attack the moment it came. He slashed out with his hands, coming millimeters from touching Kangon, but it didn't matter, blood spurted from a series of slash marks that appeared.

Kangon snarled and moved backwards, away from Gwyl's reach. It was then a voice spoke. It wasn't loud; in fact it was very quite, barely perceptible above the whispers and breathing of the crowd. "Gwyl," the voice chided.

Something deep inside Gwyl recognized it, and he faltered, not moving forward to attack Kangon. The fury that coursed through Gwyl's veins calmed to a simmer and the will to fight was gone.

Gwyl blinked, Kangon moved. Somehow Kangon had found the white knife, and in a flash it was pressed up against Gwyl's throat, just hard enough that blood trickled from the wound. Unfazed by the threat of death, Gwyl did nothing. Kangon did not strike. Instead, he withdrew, staring at Gwyl with his amber eyes and dropping the knife between them.

"The fight is over," Kangon said, then repeated himself in the native language. Gwyl understood it for the most part, but it only made sense because he'd heard it first in English.

He didn't care that the fight was over, when Firenze had called him something had gone away, and with it his will to fight. Still, he was angry for being trapped, and as Kangon moved with a limp to the healer waiting for him Gwyl had to suppress a growl. Dog, who had been relatively calm until that moment, rushed forward. But Gwyl continued to watch Kangon. He could see the healer wiping away the blood and revealing claw marks all over Kangon's body. Gwyl didn't look at his own hand, because he knew they were nothing more than hands, and it confused him that the marks on Kangon's body had come from fingers and not claws.

Silver nudged him and he whipped around to look at her, still breathing heavily. Some of the nearby werewolves stepped back, afraid to even be near him. He heard Stray approach but didn't say anything to her. Lancelot was with Stray, Guinevere and Galahad pushed through the werewolves who'd been holding them back and approached. When they got close enough all of them sniffed and then licked his wounds. It hurt, but Gwyl didn't show any signs of pain.

There was one thing that Gwyl looked for, the voice which had called to him. As the coarse tongues cleaned Gwyl's wounds, his eyes scanned the werewolves, all of them still speechless. Among them he saw Firenze staring at him, looking almost disappointed. Gwyl shook back the feeling that filled him. He hated the look and he tore his eyes away from it looking at the other wolves who'd been watching.

A few of the children squirmed out of the hold of their mothers and moved over to Gwyl to look at him. One of them even scrambled out into the middle of the ring before being stopped by his mother.

Tala moved through the crowed of werewolves fluidly. She stooped and picked up the white knife near one side of the cave wall. She brought the knife to Gwyl and handed it to him slowly, almost reverently. There was a look in her eye, a spark of something that Gwyl had never seen before. She didn't move forward, and he was sure that she wasn't in heat, it didn't seem like that. It did call to something inside him, made him shiver with power. The feeling was nowhere near as intense as the fight; it was almost like a dessert. He growled and she growled back, but not angrily. Then, when Gwyl understood it was the wolf inside him he raised his head and howled into the cave.

A moment later, Tala joined the howl, then Silver, Stray and Dog followed suite. Some of the little cubs howled as best as possible, but their howl was weak. Still, it was the call of the wolf and Gwyl knew that Tala had accepted him for what he was.

The crowd around Gwyl parted. Kangon moved through them like a giant wave of power, something that they revered. There was salve covering his wounds that smelled horrible. Gwyl barely noticed it; he was staring at Kangon's golden eyes. They were the eyes of a wolf, and chilling.

"I am sorry for allowing you to be trapped here," Kangon said, pushing aside the woman who was still tending to his wounds. "I need to make something clear. If you are bitten, you will be trapped by the wolf. Even when you somehow gain control over your wolf it will not be full control. If you hold of the beast for too long it takes over. Being a werewolf changes you. Look at the others."

Gwyl turned again to the wolves, looking at them with experienced eyes. Most were exhausted and some had even fallen asleep on the sides of the cave. They had a hungry look, Gwyl suspected because they smelled blood. There was something that almost every single one of them had hiding in their eyes. It was a caged look, as if they were wolves caged as Silver had once been.

"Want be wolf." Gwyl said, angry that Kangon was trying to dissuade him from it.

"There are other ways, ways you can better control yourself. Magic can help you if you let it."

Magic. Gwyl growled involuntarily. He didn't like magic even if it was all around him. All of the humans he could ever remember meeting had magic, so did the centaurs, the werewolves, even the trees all of them had magic, and it was always different. Still, magic was frightening, more frightening than fighting Kangon. If he lost he would die, he would not be trapped, he would not be forced to do things he did not want to do. Magic did that; magic stole his choices and forced him to slavery. He detested magic.

When Gwyl growled Kangon blinked, looking a little sour. "You do not like magic," he observed. "Yet you are filled with it." Making a gesture toward the wounds covering him he smiled. "Your magic is strong. You can transform without being a wolf."

"Not understand," Gwyl said, narrowing his eyes.

There was a moment of silence between the two. The leopards still licked Gwyl's wounds while Stray crouched next to him, watching Kangon carefully. Gwyl could tell she was still poised to attack, her weapons were within reach on her belt, but she hadn't actually reached for them.

Holding up his hand between the two, Kangon shivered. It was as if part of a wolf broke free through Kangon's hand. Long sharp claws formed, claws that Gwyl had seen in the fight. "You did something similar," Kangon said. He shuddered and the claws melted away to normal fingers. "I could not help but use them when I fought you, I had no idea that freedom was worth dying for to you."

The healer did something on his back and his nose crinkled. Gwyl could tell from his eyes that he was in pain. There was no anger coming from Gwyl though, now that he had found control again and he wasn't going to exploit the weakness. He had made his point without killing Kangon, and it had been enough. It was good to do it though; anger had been building in him since his last real fight and it had been quite a while.

• Edited 2004.11.23 •