6 months after previous installment, for added suspense
NEW SEASON OF DEGRASSI!
A/N: Warning: Pretty much each chapter highlights an aspect of Mary Sue fandom that drives me crazy. This one starts to deal with impossible people falling for the character. You've been warned.
"Oh my God," Paige shrieked. "Marco…look at that!"
Normally, Matt wouldn't make out with a high school student in broad daylight in front of everyone with class about to start, but Maryanne Sue was just too cute to resist. This did not make Paige very happy. Paige slammed her locker door so hard that a ceiling tile fell and landed on her head.
"Paige?" Maryanne asked. "Paige? Are you okay?"
A few perverted Degrassi students took Maryanne leaning over Paige in an extremely short, pink skirt to their advantage. But, you see, J.T. loved her, so he heroically jumped in front of her to save her ass. Literally.
As Paige slowly regained consciousness, she found herself looking into the eyes of an angel. Suddenly, she realized, that even if Maryanne had stolen her boyfriend and made her question her sexuality, there was no possible way she could hate the beautiful girl who reached out to help her up. Looking into Maryanne's crystalline blue eyes made it impossible for Paige to feel anything but overwhelming adoration for the most beautiful girl she had ever…
"Paige!" Hazel shouted. "Paige! Are you okay?"
Maryanne tried to hide her irritation in allowing Paige to shift her gaze from her oceanic eyes. As soon as Paige took her eyes off of the beautiful Maryanne Sue, her sanity began to return, and her hatred redeveloped in a matter of seconds. "Hon, let go of me," Paige pleaded. "You're really starting to creep me out."
Maryanne laughed. "Well, I just really like your hair, and I'd hate to see it get ruined by a ceiling tile."
Paige rushed away, with pieces of the ceiling still stuck in her golden hair, and followed her best friend down the hall. "Why does she get to do whatever she wants whenever she wants with whoever she wants any time she…"
"I get the picture," Hazel said.
Paige rolled her eyes. "Whatever Hazel."
Hazel thought for a moment. "Marco told me that she has an official I'm a Mary Sue So I Can Do Whatever I Want card."
Paige's mind filled with one of her many bright ideas. "Hazel? We are so going to forge those and we are SO going to become Mary Sues!"
Hazel started screaming with girly excitement. "B…but before we can do that, we have to get close enough to Maryanne to steal her card."
"That won't be a problem, because even if you're totally straight you'll fall in love with her just because she's a Mary Sue," Paige giggled.
Hazel's jaw dropped. "Um…Paige. That's really creepy. Maybe you should go home and lie down. Take a few breaths."
"Or maybe I should lend myself to the Mary Sue Saves Paige Plotline where I whine about how this doesn't happen to popular girls and then fall madly in love with her, make out with her, whine about what a mistake it was, and then get beat up but go back to her in three chapters because that's what the people want," Paige suggested.
Hazel grabbed a large piece of the ceiling tile and hit Paige with it, in hopes that Paige would lose her most recent memories.
"Oh, you killed Paige," Emma said nonchalantly. "Well, if Paige doesn't want Maryanne, can I have her?"
Hazel noticed a dreary, distant look in Emma's eyes. A look she had seen in Paige a matter of seconds ago. "Oh my God," Hazel shrieked. "I've got to get out of here!"
……………………………………Thirty Minutes Later…………………………………
Jimmy was asleep. Until Hazel showed up.
"JIMMY! JIMMYJIMMYJIMMYJIMMYJIMMYJIMMY! WAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUPWAKEUP!" Hazel screamed at the top of her lungs.
"What?" Jimmy asked.
"There's this girl named Maryanne Sue at our school who's making everyone fall in love with her and I wanted to save you while I still could," Hazel cried. "Your eyes are still brown!" Hazel dramatically threw her arms around her boyfriend. "Oh, Jimmy. I'm so glad you're still mine!"
Jimmy pretended to pass out to make Hazel shut up.
……………………………………………Meanwhile…………………………………
Maryanne Sue threw herself onto her bed, and giggled maliciously. "Now all I have to do is make everyone love and unconditionally worship me, and start transforming all the people in this fic into horrible OOCs," Maryanne sighed. "Hmm. I think I'll turn Marco straight, and make Jay romantic. Liberty really has potential to be the next prom queen, too. This'll be so much fun!"
Rick's ghost appeared before Maryanne. "Have you been making progress?"
Maryanne nodded maliciously like the sexy evil half-fae-vamp/elven hottie that she was. "Mhmm."
Rick sat down next to her. "I'm worried about Hazel. She doesn't seem convinced that you are all powerful."
"Yeah," Maryanne laughed. "But I'm a sexy evil half-fae-vamp/elven hottie, so it shouldn't be a problem."
………………………………………..Meanwhile……………………………………….
Since Emma hadn't been exposed to Maryanne's insane cuteness for too long, she had managed to stay in character up to chapter three. Congratulations, Emma. "MANNY!" Emma shouted. "MANNY!"
Manny turned around. "Have you seen Maryanne?" Manny asked. "Because I want to tell her that I want to be her best friend and spend every waking minute absorbing her perfectness."
Emma burst into tears. "But I thought you were my best friend!" she protested feebly. "Manny, come on! We've got to hold up signs and protest Mary Sues."
"The last time you pulled something like that, Rick fell in love with you," Manny reminded her.
"I don't care!" Emma screamed. "Say no to Mary Sues! If you want to stay in character, don't let Mary Sues go to Degrassi."
"That's catchy," Manny said sarcastically.
"So, will you help me?" Emma pleaded. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"
Spinner popped out of nowhere. "Hey, knowing the success of your previous protests, if I do this, Maryanne will fall in love with me. I'm in."
Emma cried a cry of distress. "OH NO! Spinner thought! Come on! Before Maryanne devours your soul!"
By fifth period, the next day, Emma managed to form a small group, consisting of Spinner, Hazel, Emma, and a guy who thought that they were giving away free doughnuts. Then some creepy music started, and Jay walked by with his thug friends.
"I'm trying to be mean, but Degrassi is censored so I can't say anything that would actually offend anyone but Casper or Emma," Jay said.
Emma didn't cry, though. Because Emma's mother taught her not to ever let a man make her feel bad for being female. That's a good thing to learn, and I'm a total feminist, but still, that's not the point. "Excuse me, Jay," Emma snapped. "But I am not going to sit by and watch everyone I know fall in love with Maryanne."
"Oh, I see," Alex sneered. "You want her all to yourself."
"NO!" Emma argued. "I don't!"
"That's really selfish," Jay said. "Because there are only about fifteen people on this show to begin with, so chances are anyone of any significance who wants her will get to date her at least once, and kids on will pass out avatars with pictures of you guys together, and then you'll break up and she'll give the next person a chance. So you really shouldn't get so uptight about it."
"I'm not interested in Maryanne!" Emma argued. "I want her out of Degrassi. And I'm going to do something about it."
"Like what?" Hazel asked.
"Hold up signs and get expelled for what I believe in," Emma said.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Hazel said.
Commercial.
Time for a lipgloss break.
What do you see? Just a corner store? I see a past no one lets me forget. But you see, no one really cares what happens to this guy, because he's just a file, but these are MIRACLE'S BOYS! They'll be fine!