In This World Chapter 4: If I Let You Go, a harry potter fanfic

It's been ages since I updated this! I'm sorry I've just been really busy and not really had much time for writing this particular story. I've written a few new ones but I don't know when or if I'll put them up! Hope you like this! Please review!

Chapter 4: If I Let You Go

Draco couldn't sit still any longer. He drank the last of his butterbeer and shuffled in his seat ready to stand. Pansy raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him, a little disappointed that she'd had to move.

"Drakey" She whined

"Sorry Pansy" he said not really meaning it, "I'm going for a walk" He stood up and stepped away from the table crowded with his Slytherin friends. Pansy leaped out of her seat and threw her coat around her shoulders "Drakey, wait for me" She said loudly

"No Pansy, I'm going alone" He shot her a sharp glare. She pouted but sat back down again and watched as he walked away.

Outside the air was icy cold and the wind blew strongly. The ground was covered with quite a thick layer of snow. The snow continued to fall as he walked aimlessly around the street. Draco pulled his thick, expensive cloak closer to his body. It wasn't as if the cold really bothered him. He'd lived most of his life in cold. The Malfoy Manor was not exactly the warmest place on the planet. Even when the fires were lit, coldness always seemed to linger around the place.

The show at Zonkos hadn't finished yet so the street was fairly empty. It seemed that everyone was either at the show or crowding into the Three Broomsticks out of the cold.

Draco had no idea where he was going or why. All he knew was that he needed to be alone for a moment. He needed to think.

He thought back to what had happened inside The Three Broomsticks. He remembered the slight smile he had given and, to his surprise, had been returned. Draco couldn't think of anything but that smile. He'd seen her smile so many times when she was with her fellow Gryffindors but this had been different. This smile had been for him and him only to see, or at least that's what he hoped. 'Maybe I imagined it' He thought to himself, 'Maybe I just want her to smile so I thought she did. Maybe she wasn't smiling at me or maybe she wasn't smiling at all' He kicked the snow beneath his feet. 'Why would she even look at me? I've been so horrible to her. I've made her life at Hogwarts hell. Why should she smile at me? Why should she suddenly forget all that and forgive me? I suppose she hasn't. I suppose that smile, if it was a smile, was meant for someone else. I suppose in her eyes I'm nothing but Slytherin scum' He decided. Draco found himself in a deserted ally. He sat down against the wall with his head in his hands trying to think about his feelings and what they meant.

'She's a Gryffindor and a muggle born too. How can I feel anything towards her? Father would kill me. I'd be classed as a disgrace to the Malfoy name. I know this but yet I still feel the same. How can that be? Why does it not bother me? Why do I feel like this?' Draco sighed. He just didn't understand why everything she did made him feel different. He couldn't describe the feeling inside himself when she was around. He wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to show her he'd changed and was not the Malfoy he had been for the past six years. He wanted to turn back time and take back everything he'd said and done to cause her pain. 'She'd never believe me if I told her' He thought sadly. 'So I guess I'll have to show her I have changed first'

Day after day, time pass away

And I just can't get you off my mind

Nobody knows, I hide it inside

I keep on searching but I can't find

The courage to show

To letting you know

That I've never felt so much love before

And once again I'm thinking about

Taking the easy way out

But if I let you go

Will I ever know?

What my life would be

Holding you close to me

Will I ever see

You smiling back at me

How will I know if I let you go?

"I can't believe you missed it Hermione!" Ron exclaimed as he sat down, excited to tell her what had happened at Zonkos. "It was brilliant I tell you. Bloody brilliant!" He emptied the contents of the bag he was carrying onto the table for the three girls to see.

"Look at the amount of stuff" Ginny said in amazement "Ron, this must have cost a fortune" Her voice became more serious with a hint worry. Hermione knew the Weasley's had never had much money.

"I imagine the prices would have been at their highest today with the show and all the extra custom" Luna said as she poked a rather funny looking rubber pineapple with the tip of her finger.

"Hey Luna, I wouldn't do that if I were you" Harry held back a laugh. I was too late.

BANG! The pineapple exploded spraying a foul smelling purple substance over the five of them and a few Hufflepuffs on the neighbouring table. The pub fell silent and all looked to the back where they were sitting, covered from head to foot in whatever had been in the pineapple.

"Oops" Luna giggled. Ginny, Harry and Ron began to laugh uncontrollably. Hermione apologised to the Hufflepuffs and to Madam Rosmerta, who by now had appeared next to them wearing a frown of disapproval. With a flick of her wand, Madam Rosmerta cleaned up the inky substance from the tables, floor and the unfortunate Hufflepuffs but left the others covered in it as a lesson for next time they feel like blowing up a pineapple in a public place. However she was nice enough to lend them a towel.

Once they were outside and they had stopped laughing, they began to tidy themselves up a little.

"What was that?" Ginny asked as she ran the towel through her hair.

"Puss Pineapple" Ron replied "Fred and George worked on those you know"

"It's not harmful though" Harry added at their worried expressions. "But it doesn't half smell bad" Harry wrinkled his nose.

"Snowball fight!" Ron announced suddenly as he pelted Harry with snow. Within a minute there was fully fledged snowball war. Ginny hit Harry with a huge one right in the face. Harry tried to retaliate but missed and hit the back of Luna. Luna aimed but Harry ducked and Ron got one right between the eyes.

"Good shot" Harry complimented as the snowball Ron aimed at Luna went completely off course and hit a surprised third year Ravenclaw right where he didn't want it! (A/N I'll let you guess where! Lol!)

"Ow that's gotta hurt" Ron ran over to apologised but received a slap from the guy's girlfriend instead. "Now that was uncalled for. I said sorry and it was an accident" He complained to his friends as the Ravenclaw's took shelter in the Three Broomsticks.

"Shall we continue the battle in a less populated area?" Luna suggested. They all agreed and hurried to the end of the street where it was quieter. It was also an advantage because of all the little back streets and alley's they could hide in.

"Hey Hermione!" Ron shouted as he held up his hand which was clasped around a large lump of snow. Hermione screamed playfully and began to run away from him. He followed her, laughing. She ran down a deserted alley and was corned. "I've got you now 'Mione" Ron said teasingly as he showed her his fist of snow. She half screamed, half laughed as he raised his snow. He stepped closer and cornered her fully.

Little did they know, they were being watched from the shadows. As luck would have it, they were in the same alley as Malfoy. He shrank back in the shadows as not to be seen. He felt a pang of jealousy as he saw how close Ron was to Hermione and how much she was laughing and having fun with him.

Ron, instead of lobbing the snow at his friend, sprinkled it all over her head as giggled and held up her hands to try and shield herself from the falling snow. Ron smiled. He liked seeing his friend this happy. He hated it when they fought and argued.

Malfoy never took his eyes from the happy, snow covered Gryffindor girl. 'She's so beautiful' he thought. 'Even more so with snow in her hair' Malfoy fought back the urge to pull Ron away from her but he didn't want to upset her, especially as she looked more beautiful when she was laughing. He smiled to himself. 'Maybe one day Hermione' He said to himself sadly.

Ron looked at his friend's pretty face. She looked up and straight into his eyes. He blushed causing Hermione to giggle slightly. She loved the way Ron was so nervous and shy when he was alone with her. It was cute. She looked into his shining blue eyes and he back into her chocolate eyes. She felt so guilty. She'd known for ages that he had feelings for her. She saw in his eyes that he was in love with her. She just didn't know how to tell him she had feelings for someone else. It would break his heart.

Malfoy felt sick with jealousy. He seized his chance, while neither was looking, to escape from seeing anymore. They were much too close to each other for his liking. He crept quietly along the wall and around the corner.

Hermione saw him over Ron's shoulder. She jerked her head to look. Ron shook himself from the daze he had been in as soon as the eye contact had been broken and stepped backwards, his ears turned a deep red as well as a pink tinge that appeared on his cheeks.

"Err...Maybe we should go find the others" He said quietly. He hadn't noticed that Hermione had been watching something else. He'd been too lost in her eyes.

Hermione and Ron hurried back to where Ginny, Harry and Luna were now sitting in the snow eating some of the chocolate they had bought. Ron and Hermione joined them. Nobody bothered to ask why they had been so long. All three of them just assumed that Ron had finally confessed his love and received his long awaited kiss. Hermione knew what they were thinking and didn't really care. She'd tell Ginny later that night what really happened and no doubt Ron would tell Harry too.

The topic of conversation suddenly turned to the Hogwarts Christmas Ball, which was going to be held in three weeks time.

"So Harry, any ideas on who you'll ask?" Ron teased him. He knew full well that Harry did indeed have a crush. Harry's cheeks turned a very slight shade of pink as Ron motion with his eyes to his sister and laughed.

"No, not yet" was Harry's reply. This only made Ron laugh harder and the girls' stare.

"What about you Ron? Any one special?" Harry retaliated. Ron stopped laughing immediatly and blushed. Everyone knew who he'd like to go with but Ron knew he was too shy to ask her.

"Why don't we ask the girls' who they want to go with instead" Ron said awkwardly.

"I'm not really sure I want to go" Luna admitted sadly as she looked towards the sky. "It's not really my kind of thing. As for a partner I don't think anyone would want to go with me. They think I'm rather strange" For once Luna seemed sad about being alone.

"Oh of course they'll be someone for you Luna" Ginny said happily. "Neville will take you, I'm sure. I bet that with me and Hermione's help you will be the most beautiful girl at the ball and all the guys will wish they'd asked you. The girls' will be so jealous" Luna smiled at her friend and agreed she would go, but alone.

"Hey guys I think it's time to go back to the castle" Hermione saw the mass of Hogwarts students making their way back to Hogwarts. They followed.

Hermione ate her dinner quickly, that evening. She didn't feel much like hanging around to talk to her friends so she decided to go for a walk around the castle. She hadn't seen Malfoy at dinner. She wondered if he'd lost track of time and was still hiding down an alley somewhere in Hogsmeade. She smiled at the thought.

Hermione walked aimlessly towards the North astronomy tower. It was one of her favourite places to be at night. It was the tallest tower and had the best view of the stars in her opinion. It was now unused. Most astronomy lessons took place in the East tower. The East tower was the second tallest tower and you could see right over the Hogwarts grounds as well as a few of the most studied constellations of stars in the night sky. Hermione however preferred the view from the North tower. There were still many stars and constellations but it overlooked the Forbidden Forest. That was one of the main reasons why it was now rarely used. People used to look in the forest for signs of beasts instead of in the sky for the stars.

When Hermione had finally reached the top she found herself in a large circular stone room. A door at the far side lead out on to a balcony. Hermione turned the handle and slowly opened the door. She gasped when she saw that she was not alone.

"What are you doing here Granger?" Malfoy drawled.

"I came here to be on my own and think but obviously my spots been taken so I'll leave" She began to turn back when Malfoy leaped up and grabbed the door.

"Wait" She looked at him in surprise. He suddenly felt warm inside and wanted her to stay.

His cold grey eyes had become a soft blue as they met Hermione's deep chocolate ones.

Night after night I hear myself say

Why can't this feeling just fade away?

There's no one like you, you speak to my heart

It's such a shame we're worlds apart

I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose

But sooner or later I gotta chose