A BROTHER'S CRY

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter 3 – The Brothers Argue

When John returned, Virgil went with their dad to help get him settled.

"I don't think I can rest. I keep seeing them lying in those beds. How did it get so out of hand? I knew that Gordon was blaming himself. I should have stepped in sooner."

"Hey Dad, you can't blame yourself. That is what Gordon has done and it has eaten him alive. Don't let that happen to you. Let me get Kyrano. He will make you some tea. That always seems to help relax you."

After Virgil got Kyrano to take care of Jeff, he headed back to the sickroom. He could tell that his brothers were arguing in quiet but angry tones.

"I am not talking about Alan. I am talking about Gordon. How could you not see how bad he was getting? Look at him Scott. Take a good hard look."

Gordon was wrapped up in his blanket because of his earlier nightmare. The dark circles under his eyes stood out predominately on his pale face indicating the deep torment within him. Just how deep is now becoming glaringly apparent to his brothers.

John continued. "Brains told me he has lost just over twenty pounds. Twenty pounds Scott, in just three weeks. How did you not notice? Alan noticed. He called me and told me that he was worried. Since I couldn't get Gordon to talk to me, I told Alan to get you involved. Did he? Did you try to help him?"

Scott exploded. "So now this is my fault. That's rich coming from you. You sit up on Thunderbird 5 all safe and secure while we do all the work. Then when there is a problem, you come down here and start making accusations."

John broke in. "Scott, I am just trying to . . . "

"Shut up, John. I don't need your lectures." Scott started but Virgil broke him off.

"Guys, stop this. Fighting between ourselves is not helping the problem."

Scott abruptly stood up. "I don't need a lecture from you either, Virgil." Then he left the room.

Virgil turned to John. He tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but John heard it anyways. "We tried John. We really did. I will admit that he had me fooled the first couple of weeks, but eventually I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the weight loss. Although I didn't realize how much weight he had lost. I figured between five and ten pounds but not twenty. He was real good at hiding it under baggy t-shirts. He also tried to avoid us as much as possible. He went to the lagoon during the day and then spent the evenings in his room. Both Scott and I tried to talk to him at different times, but he just got mad and told us to leave him alone. Yesterday morning we talked to Dad about it. When Dad tried to talk to Gordon they ended up in a huge fight. Gordon said that he was going to quit International Rescue." Virgil paused a moment. He blinked a couple of times as he fought back the emotions that were raging in him.

"John, we have all had rescues that went bad. We deal with them in different ways, but Gordon has refused to talk about it at all. He only gave us a brief account of what happened in that cave. He has been purposely shutting us out, John. Part of Scott's anger is really at himself because he didn't notice the problem earlier. I feel the same way. We don't need you to tell us how we screwed up because we already know.

John could tell that Virgil was struggling with his emotion. He wanted to help him but his own emotions were keeping him from thinking straight. He put his arm around Virgil's shoulder. "I know Virg. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing anyone. I am just trying to figure out what has been happening to Gordon. Just so you know, I am feeling pretty guilty about it too. I should have known how bad he was when he refused to talk to me. I should have talked to you and Scott about it, but I didn't. Gordon has always come to me with his problems before. I just figured He would again."

"Why wouldn't he talk to us? We are his family for God's sake. Why did he feel like he had to hide his pain from us?"

I don't know Virgil. Only Gordon can answer those questions." After a brief pause, John asked. "So what do we do about it now?"

"We let the boys rest awhile. Then we find out what really happened, including what happened on that rescue. We need to know why Gordon is so guilt-ridden over that young woman's condition."

John and Virgil turned to see their dad standing inside the door with Scott next to him.

"Dad, I thought you were resting." Said John.

"I did get some rest, but now I need to be with my sons."

"Well, I don't care what Gordon's problem is." Scott said hotly. "He brought this on himself. We have all tried to help him but he just pushed us away. Alan especially tried to reach out to him and look what he got for his trouble."

"Scott . . ." Both John and Virgil started.

Jeff stopped them. "No boys, if we are going to deal with this we have to be honest about our feelings. Scott has a right to be angry. I am angry." Turning to Scott he said, "The thing we have to remember is that anger can tear us up inside just like guilt. We need to work this out before that happens. Right?"

Scott saw the concern in his father's eyes and pulled him into an embrace. "Right, Dad."

When Scott let go of his father, he found himself being pulled into John's embrace. "Scott, I'm sorry about earlier. I should have let you explain but I was in full rant mode. I know none of this is your fault."

Scott pulled back. "That's ok John. Full rant mode is a Tracy family trait."

"Well, you should have heard me go off on Dad." John said with a sheepish look on his face.

Scott gave John a small smirk. "You went off on Dad? And lived? You are a lucky man."

TBC

Author's note: Grumpy has stuck her head out from under her rock. She is asking, "They like it? They really like it?" We are glad that most people seemed to like the story so far.

fellowriverrat – we're not telling. You will just have to keep reading.

AngelMouse5, Vorserkein, Barb from utah, numbuh 14 – Thank you for your kind reviews. It is a good feeling to know that all our hard work is appreciated.

Gordon Fan – (response to chp. 1) Ingenious idea to check the character/stories link. I hadn't thought about that when I set it up.