A BROTHER'S CRY

By Grumpymagrat & Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Six – A Brother Watches

"Hey, Gordon," Alan calls to him. "Dad says that dinner is ready."

"I'll be right in." Gordon answered.

It had been three days since that rescue that went horribly wrong. The debriefing had been murder. His family tried to convince him that it wasn't his fault. He can still recall his dad's words. "You didn't have a choice. You did not have room in Thunderbird Four for everyone. You didn't know that an aftershock would bring the cave down. You do your best but sometimes things are out of our hands."

Gordon heard them, but he just couldn't believe them. The same thoughts kept running through his head. "My head knows that they are right, but my heart is having a hard time believing that. It was my decision to leave her behind. It was my decision to leave the cave without knowing the extent of her injuries. It was my job to get those divers out. I failed Jennifer. It was all me.

"Hey Gords, come on. I'm hungry and Dad won't let us start until everyone is at the table." This time it was Virgil that called to him.

"Ok, I'm coming." He yells as he gets up from the lounge chair by the pool. Slowly he makes his way to the kitchen.

As he sat at the table, he could feel his Dad giving him a once over. "Son, are you feeling ok?"

"Yeah Dad, I'm fine."

Jeff looked skeptical. He could sense that Gordon was still troubled by the rescue three days before. "You know, if you want to talk, my door is always open."

"That goes for me too." Said Scott.

"Me too." Was echoed by his other brothers.

"I know. This is just something that I need to work out on my own. I'll be fine. By the time Brains releases me for active duty, I'll be right as rain." Gordon told his family.

The matter was dropped for the time being. Alan though watched his brother. He was trying to put on a brave face, but Alan could tell that this was eating him up inside. He watched as Gordon spent most of the time pushing his food around his plate. He ate a few bites in hopes that no one would notice his lack of appetite. Alan noticed though, and Alan was worried as hell.

One Week Later

Brains was taking the stitches out of G-Gordon's arm. "Ok, Gordon, the arm looks g-g-good. H-H-How are the ribs f-feeling?"

"They are fine, Brains."

Brains eyed him. "How about your s-sleep?" I know that you were up at least t-two n-n-nights this week."

Gordon couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "I suppose I could ask you the same thing. If you're up to know when I am up, does that mean that you are unable to work?"

Gordon immediately felt sorry for snapping at Brains, but he just couldn't bring himself to talk about the nightmares he was having. He was only getting about three hours of sleep before he was jolted awake by them.

Brains was shocked. "I d-d-didn't say that you c-couldn't w-work. I am c-concerned. You have l-lost some weight in the last t-t-ten days. Is there something I m-missed?"

Gordon sighed. "I'm sorry, Brains. The antibiotic that you gave me has made me a little nauseous. I'm sure that my appetite will pick up now that I am off the meds. I'm fine really. Maybe a little tired of everyone watching me like I'm a china doll that is ready to break. I just need some time to work this out for myself. I just need a little space." He began to get angry the more he talked. Finally overcome with frustration, he punched the bed.

Brains listened as he heard the anger creeping into Gordon's voice. He jumped when Gordon punched the bed but tried to cover it. He was afraid that anything that he said would upset Gordon more so he remained quiet for the moment.

"Am I done, Brains? I would really like to leave now." Gordon asked.

"Ok, Gordon, we are d-done but I am going to r-r-recommend to your father that he keep you on inactive duty until I am sure that your r-ribs are 100."

"Fine Brains, I am just too tired to argue anymore." Gordon jumped off the bed and left the sick room.

Alan ran into Gordon in the lounge. He would not help but notice the anger on Gordon's face.

"Hey Gordon, How did it go?"

"Oh, shut up Alan." Gordon said as he stormed by.

Alan went to the sickroom to find Brains. "Hey Brains, did something happen with Gordon? He was really mad when he left here."

"You know b-b-better than to ask, A-Alan. I can't r-r-reveal anybody's m-m-medical records except to your f-f-father and then only if it affects I-I-International Rescue."

Alan sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'm just so worried about him. He thinks he's got us fooled, but I know the truth. I've been watching him. He doesn't sleep well. He spends most of the time tossing and turning, and sometimes I hear him down in the gym. He's also not eating. Well at least he isn't eating much. You know that all of us Tracy boys have always had healthy appetites, but now Gordon only eats a few bites then he just pushes around his food until he feels that he can leave without arousing suspicion. I just don't know how to help him."

"Maybe you c-could ask John to talk to him." Brains suggested. "He always s-s-seems to have a way to get you b-b-boys to open up to him."

Alan's face brightened. "That is a great idea Brains. I think that I will go talk to John now."

"Are you sure that you're not over-reacting?" John asked. "Maybe he just needs some more time."

Alan sighed. "John, I've been watching him for the last week and a half. He's not getting better. He's getting worse. He needs help."

"Ok Alan, the next time you see Gordon, tell him that I would like to speak to him." John said.

"Thanks John." Alan replied. "I really appreciate this."

TBC

Author's note – Hi, everyone. Here's the next chapter. We hope you enjoy it.

AngelMouse5 – We are glad you enjoyed it. We had our concerns about the rescue scene. We appreciate your encouraging comments.

numbah 14 – Thanks for all your encouragement. Poor Gordon. Wait until you see what is in store for him.

barb from utah – Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. Too bad the Tracy brothers aren't as quick.