Trying to go back and realise you can't
Rachel woke up dazed on the floor, again with a scrunched up picture in her hand on herself and Ross.
"Move on" she said as she welled up with yet more tears
Rachel got ready and left for work.
"Hi Rachel. I'm sharing your office with you from now on, Gavin is sharing with April on the bottom floor" A woman with blonde hair and green eyes said.
"Oh…so…what's your name?" Rachel said feeling ill at even the mention of his name
"Laura." She smiled "are you ok? You look a little pale," Laura said with concern
"Yes I'm fine nice to meet you, I'm not sure I've seen you before you know" Rachel said
"Yeah; I'm new here" Laura replied, as she took Rachel's coat and hung it up.
Rachel sat down at her desk and sifted through a pile of paperwork, there was a post-it note on one piece, and it read:
-Rachel, please take this to office 18 on the 3rd floor, tell them it needs to be ordered. And a copy is needed for me as well so could you go to the copy room before hand? Thanks
Rachel picked it up, grabbed her key card and headed to the copy room. She looked round the door and Gavin was in there talking to some woman, Rachel stepped back behind the doorframe
"But your so hot" Gavin said to the woman as he tried to kiss her
Rachel's eyes filled with tears, she dropped the paperwork and walked back to her office wiping her tears away on her sleeve.
"Are you okay?" Laura said with her Colgate smile
"Yes" Rachel replied in shock, still wiping her tears away. Rachel went to her desk and sat down with her head in her hands
"Are you sure your okay? It looks as if you've been crying" Laura piped up again
"Yeah…I'm good, just fine," Rachel said holding a picture of her and Ross
"Are you really really sure? Cos you really look unwell" Laura Added
"I'm FINE" Rachel yelled. Laura stood in shock "ok. I'm just gonna…I'm gonna go" Laura said staring at Rachel, Laura walked out of the office.
Rachel looked over to her phone; she had one message, she put in her pin number and played it;
Hey Rach',
It's Ross, sorry I got mad earlier, and it's not your fault you have to work late some days of the week. Just wanted to let you know that I love you…and I'll see you later on if I'm still awake when you come back.
Rachel burst into another blast of tears, sniveling she packed up her desk and went to her boss' office,
"I'm leaving" Rachel sniffed, Her boss looked up,
"You have to give notice Rachel, you can't just quit," He said looking confused
"Well what am I supposed to do? I can't stay here anymore, I can't Rob, I can't do it " Rachel sobbed
"Rachel you're supposed to leave personal matters outside work" Rob said frowning at Rachel, he stood up and walked up to her "leave now and I'll fire you," He said staring at Rachel.
"Then Fire me" Rachel turned around and walked out of the building.
Rachel put the key in her door and walked into the apartment, she dropped her keys on the floor and walked over to the balcony, a drop of rain fell on her cold cheek, Rachel sat down on the concrete
"Drop me in the middle" she sang crying "So I can make a ripple effect" she looked up into the rain "this is what my life has come to" she wiped away a tear "I can't move on"
"What is this?" Ross said picking up a sock. Rachel walked into their bedroom took a glimpse at the sock and looked away she thought to herself for just a split second and looked back sharply at the sock, she felt numb.
"It's a sock hunny" Rachel said with a shaky smile,
"I don't have any socks like this" Ross said looking confused
"I know, I bought some new ones, for you" she sat down on the end of the bed and began to curl her golden brown hair.
"sweetie they've been worn" Ross said leaning over her
"I know, I wore them… I like the red band around them, sorry" Rachel replied giving Ross a kiss
Ross dropped the sock and walked over to Rachel, he bent down to his knees, stroking her knees he said "Rachel, I love you" he got up and turned to walk out the room
"Ross?" Rachel yelped, Ross turned smiling "I have this friend, who's happily married and she's fallen for this guy at work and it's became an affair…if you were her what would you do? Would you risk telling your husband, or carry on with the affair and hope no one finds out?" Rachel looked at Ross
"Well, I'd have to say I'd tell the husband, he has a right to know. Then she'll know where she stands, tell her to tell her husband Rachel" he smiled "oh, who is the friend? If you don't mind me asking"
Rachel paused
"It's me" Rachel said helplessly
Ross stood staring at Rachel; there was no expression on his face
"Do you love him?" Ross whispered with a dry throat
Rachel sat there looking at her shaking hands
"Do you?" Ross continued
"No" Rachel replied looking up at Ross smiling "I love you" Rachel stood up and went to hug Ross, Ross stepped back, "If you love me then why did you do it? If you don't love him then why did you have sex with him? Is it because you're bored with me?" Ross said looking hurt
"No, he kissed me first" Rachel exclaimed
"Yeah and you let it happen" Ross said with pain, Ross went to the closet.
"What are you doing?" Rachel said with a worried look on her face
"I'm leaving" Ross said as he pulled down 2 suitcases and started to pack his clothes
"You can't! You had an affair, I forgave you, why can't you forgive me?" Rachel said with tears, shaking her head in disbelief
"I can't because if we both cheat on each other…what's the point?" Ross replied
"The fact that we love each other?" Rachel stuttered
"I know I love you…but do you love me?" Ross said angrily
"Yes!" Rachel cried
"Then why did you cheat?" Ross sighed, "Why did you have to throw it all away?"
Ross continued to pack up, when he was finished he came out into the living area where Rachel was sat on the sofa looking at the floor, with a used tissue in her hand, She looked up.
"Don't go…" She trembled, Ross was in tears.
"I never thought I'd ever leave you, you should have let me go when I was unfaithful to you" Ross said as he went to open the door
"Wait" Rachel yelled, "Don't go! Please, I'm nothing without you. Please don't ruin everything" She continued
"ME! I haven't ruined anything, you're the one who had the affair, I'm doing this for both of us, goodbye Rachel" Ross shouted, Rachel burst into tears
"DON'T!" Rachel cried, the door shut, he was gone…
Rachel woke with a stir, she was soaking; she ran a bath. Rachel got in, she thought about Ross as she did Prior, now and always. She looked across to the picture of her and Ross at the park feeding each other the food of love; the rich strawberry colour appeared to her as delicious and not at all evil or to be associated with the devil, she indulged herself in the colour for a few moments and slipped into her world, breathing in her aromatherapy air she thought that her life was nothing but wasted, she slipped underneath the water. Was it a sleep in which she would wake with a start, spluttering, or would it be a deep sleep where maybe she would be happy and thinking of Ross prior, now and always…
Hey, Hope y'all like this one as much as the last, was ages since I updated, but I've been much to busy with all my other stuff! & it's well hard writing this! I have to get all depressed before I can even start to think of writing! lol please please leave a review , Thnx xxx