A BROTHER'S CRY
By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert
Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.
Chapter Seventeen – The Brothers Seek Advice"What do you mean, Scott?" Jeff asked.
"Well, after the way I've treated Gordon since the incident, he believes that I hate him. What's more is that Alan caught him trying to leave. He told Alan that he was quitting because of me." Scott explained.
"Quitting? I had hoped that he had said that in the heat of the moment." Jeff said.
"He may have when he first said it. But then when I treated him like I did, he probable figured that it was better to go ahead and quit." Scott said.
"You said that Alan caught him trying to leave. Wasn't he going to say goodbye? How did he get out of the sickroom without Brains noticing? What about the rest of you boys?" Jeff asked.
"We were called out on a rescue. The original intel indicated a huge rescue. We took Brains with us and I had Alan man the desk. The rescue turned out to be a fake call, so Alan caught him before he had a chance to leave. Long story, short, when we found them in Pod 4, I lost my temper and yelled at Gordon. I sent him back to the sickroom. Then Alan and I got in a huge fight. He pointed out what a jerk I had been. He even threatened to quit if Gordon quit. I decided to talk to Gordon, but he was already asleep when I got to the sickroom. I found this letter addressed to you in Thunderbird 4." Scott held out the letter to his father. "Since you were getting back this morning, I decided to get your advise before apologizing to Gordon."
Jeff opened the letter and read it to himself.
Dear Dad,
By the time you read this, I will be gone. I am taking Tracy Three to the states. I will leave it at the Tracy Hanger in San Diego.
I know that it will be hard for you to understand why I left, but I do have my reasons. Please consider this my official letter of resignation from International Rescue. I have always enjoyed my job until now. I know that the last rescue was a no-win situation and that Jennifer's paralysis was not my fault, but I also know that I could face a no-win situation each time we go out. I can't face that anymore. The feeling of helplessness is too much for me to handle.
I have also decided to move from the island. I know that this will be the hardest part for you to understand, but it really is for the best. I have ruined the close relationship that I have had with my brothers. Don't blame them Dad. I don't. I have no one to blame but myself. I did the one thing that cannot be forgiven: I hurt one of my brothers. There is no excuse for what I did. It wasn't an accident. I was drunk. I was angry. I got physical and hurt Alan. I understand why my brothers feel the way that they do. I would feel the same way if the situation were reversed. I am hoping that after being separated for a while that we can repair our relationship.
I intend to check into some standing job offers that I've had. Maybe I will go back to WASP. I know that you would gladly give me a permanent posting at Tracy Enterprises, but I just feel like I need to stand on my own. I need to prove to myself that I can.
I don't know if any of this letter is making sense to you. I hope so. Please tell everyone that I love them, and that I am sorry for everything.
Good-bye, Dad. I love you.
Your son,
Gordon
Jeff sighed as he returned the letter to its envelope. He looked at Scott who had been watching him expectantly. "Well, he definitely was intending to leave. I…uhm…you and Gordon really need to talk. The best advice that I can give you is: Be honest about how you feel. I know how deeply that you feel about all your brothers, but a lot of the time, you hide those feelings from them."
"I know Dad." Scott said softly. "I've never been very good talking about my emotions. I just assumed that all my brothers knew that I loved them just because they are my brothers, no matter what I said or did."
"Go talk to him. Be open and honest. I can't guarantee how he will react. You will just have to deal with it as it comes. "Jeff advised Scott. "I will tell you though, in his letter, Gordon wanted me to tell you boys that he loves you. I'm sure that he wants to resolve this rift as much as you do."
Scott nodded his head. "Thanks, Dad. I appreciate your advice. I think that I will head to the sickroom to talk to Gordon."
"Do you know what you will say?" Jeff asked.
"Well, the first thing that I am going to do is apologize." Scott answered. "After that, I don't know. It will depend on how Gordon reacts to me."
"Ok Scott," Jeff said. "Let Gordon know that I will be down to talk to him in a while."
Scott nodded his head as he left the plane.
Meanwhile Virgil was giving Dr. Shipman the tour of the villa. Since they were down in the hanger, Virgil decided to show him the Thunderbirds first. Standing in the cockpit of Thunderbird 1, Virgil was explaining. "Thunderbird 1 is our reconnaissance craft. It was built for speed. Normally Scott flies her. He is the first to reach the rescue site and determines a course of action. He lets us know what equipment to bring and sets up the mobile control. Most people think that Thunderbird 1 is the 'coolest' Thunderbird but in reality, International Rescue could not operate without all the Thunderbirds."
When they moved on to Thunderbird 2, Virgil could not keep the pride out of his voice. "Thunderbird 2 is the backbone of International Rescue. She has six pods that we use to transport the various equipment like the mole or the firefly. Gordon would say that the most important thing that Thunderbird 2 carries is Thunderbird 4." Mentioning Gordon's name, Virgil's voice dropped to a whisper.
Dr. Shipman noticed the change in Virgil immediately. "Virgil, do you want to talk about it?"
Virgil ran his hand through his hair. "I wasn't intending to make you work so soon after you arrived."
"That is perfectly all right." Dr. Shipman said. "It's what I'm here for."
"Ok," Virgil said. "I've never done this before. Do I start at my earliest memories or what?"
"Well," Dr. Shipman said with a small laugh. "Usually during the first visit, I have a list of background questions that I ask. But since I know most of your background, I'd say let's start with what is bothering you right now. If I have any questions, I'll ask. Does that sound ok?"
"Yeah, that sounds ok.' Virgil said. "Although I'm still not sure how to explain what I am feeling."
"That's ok. Take your time." Dr. Shipman replied. "If I may be bold, your demeanor changed when you mentioned Gordon's name. Maybe that would be a good start. How do you feel about the situation with Gordon?"
"Uh…yeah…Gordon…um…confused. I think definitely confused." Virgil stammered.
"How so?" Asked Dr. Shipman.
"Well," Virgil started explaining. "First off, at times I feel sorry for Gordon. He was in a no-win situation with that last rescue. I can understand why it was eating him up, but then I find myself getting angry with him. We have all had rescues that went bad and we've had to deal with them. He isolated himself from us. Even when we tried to help him, he just pushed us away. That's why he and Alan ended up in that fight. He was trying to push Alan away, but Alan pushed back. Then I start feeling guilty. Why was Alan the only one trying to get through to Gordon? Why didn't I notice the problem earlier? Why didn't I push more with him? Maybe if I had stepped in, Alan would not have gotten hurt. So now I feel like I let down both of my younger brothers."
"Believe it or not Virgil." Dr. Shipman said. "What you are feeling is perfectly normal."
It was an hour and a half later before Virgil and Dr. Shipman left Thunderbird 2. "Thanks Doc, I do feel better." Virgil said.
"I'm glad that I could help." Dr. Shipman replied. "I'm willing to talk anytime that you feel the need to."
TBCAuthor's note – OK guys, I decided that since you were so patient while I was away that I would post two chapters for you. I hope you enjoyed it. Next chapter will be up soon.