A BROTHER'S CRY

By: GrumpyMagrat & Magratconvert

Disclaimer: We don't own the Thunderbirds. Not now, not ever.

Chapter Twenty – A Brother's Decision

John entered the sickroom with Gordon's dinner tray. "Hi ya Gords, how are you feeling? Ready for dinner?"

"Hi John," Gordon said quietly. "Do I dare ask what totally boring fare Brains has order for me tonight?"

"Never fear Gordon." John said with a smile. "Your big brother has come to your rescue. I've talked to Brains and got the ok for a special dinner."

"And what would that be?" Gordon asked John suspiciously.

"Think back to when we were kids." John said. "When you were sick, what did you always ask me to make for you?"

A small smile came to Gordon's face. "Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. Brains actually agreed to this?"

"Sure, I can be very persuasive." John said. "Besides he figured that after the ice cream earlier that you would need an incentive to eat your dinner."

"How'd he know about the ice cream?" Gordon asked. "Virgil thought that he was being so careful sneaking it in."

"You should know that not much escapes Brains' attention." John replied. "Now eat up while the food is still hot." Gordon began eating while John continued. "So, how are things between you and our brothers?"

"Well," Gordon said around a mouthful of food. "Scott was in this morning and apologized, but his apology just made me angry. For the last few days he has treated me like a plague to be avoided. Then he comes and apologizes, and I'm just supposed to forgive everything. Well, I can't. He didn't want to accept my apology for what I did to Alan and that was an accident. I swear to God, John, it was an accident, but his treatment of me was intentional."

John placed his hand on Gordon's shoulder. "Calm down. It's ok. Let's not talk about Scott anymore. What about Virgil? You said that he brought you ice cream earlier?"

"There is not much to say." Gordon said pushing away his now empty dinner tray. "He came in after lunch and brought me some ice cream."

"Let me guess." John interrupted. "Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk?"

"You know me too well." Gordon said. "Anyways, Virgil also apologized for how he acted that first day, after they had found Alan, but then he got emotional and left before I had a chance to say anything to him."

"Well, you can always talk to him later." John said trying to comfort his brother.

Gordon sighed. "I don't know John. I'm leaving."

"Are you serious?" John asked.

"Yes, I've already told Dad of my intentions. He wants to talk before I go. I'm sure that he will try to talk me out of leaving, but my mind is made up." Gordon explained.

"Well, I will admit that I had hoped that you would change your mind." John said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "But if it the way you really feel. I will support you. You just better keep in touch."

"NO! YOU CAN'T GO!" Alan yelled.

Startled John and Gordon looked toward the sound of Alan's voice. They saw him standing in the doorway of the sickroom.

Alan continued. "Gordon, you can't leave. We are a team. You're like a part of me. I wouldn't know what to do if you left."

"Alan," Gordon said. "It is just something that I feel that I have to do. Please understand.

Alan was getting angry. "Scott said that he would apologize. He promised to make things right so that you wouldn't leave."

Now Gordon was getting angry. Who did Scott think he was to make such a promise? He tried to keep his voice calm. "It's not Scott's choice, Alan. He doesn't have a say in my decision."

"But you want to leave because of how he has treated you, right?" Alan countered.

"Yes, it is one of the reasons, but it is not the only reason. I've been thinking about it a lot over the past few weeks." Gordon said trying to explain his decision to Alan.

"Please Gordon, reconsider." Alan begged. "You haven't been yourself these last few weeks. It's not the time to be making life-altering decisions. Please say you'll stay, Gordon, please."

Gordon could hear the pain in Alan's voice and it almost broke him. Almost. "Look, Alan, I can't promise to stay, but I will promise to re-think my decision. That's the most that I can do at this point."

Alan sighed. "Thanks, Gordon. I have faith in you. I know that you will make the right decision."

Two days later, Brains finally released Gordon from the sickroom. It had been a busy couple of days for both Gordon and International Rescue. The three older brothers had been called to two rescues in less the twenty-four hours. Alan had spent most of that time running back and forth from the sickroom to the lounge to get updates on the rescue, which he then shared with Gordon. Gordon could tell by the way that Alan talked that he assumed that Gordon had changed his mind about leaving and Gordon couldn't bring himself to tell him otherwise.

Scott and Virgil had been in to visit a couple of times when they were on the island. Gordon felt that things were getting better between himself and Virgil, but he was frustrated with Scott. Scott acted like everything had been resolved after his apology, but Gordon couldn't let go of the hurt Scott had caused. He also resented how Scott just assumed that his apology had been accepted and that things were back to normal.

John and Alan kept him occupied most of the time. Alan rambled most of the time. He wanted to make a bunch of plans for the two of them to do together after Gordon got out sickroom. John though listened quietly while Gordon explained his reasons for leaving. He seemed to understand and even sympathized with the difficult decision that Gordon had made.

Gordon had meet with Dr. Shipman three times. He was surprised when Dr. Shipman did not try to convince him to stay. After Gordon had explained his reasons, Dr. Shipman actually helped Gordon explain it to his father. His father had argued that if he wanted to leave International Rescue that he should take a posting at Tracy Enterprises so that he could remain on the Island.

Begin Flashback

"I don't understand, Gordon." Jeff said. "Why do you want to leave the Island, your family?"

"Dad," Gordon explained. "I need to prove to myself that I can stand on my own two feet, be my own man. I need to step out of my famous father's shadow or my brothers' for that matter."

"But you did that when you were in WASP." Jeff said in exasperation.

"Then I had the hydrofoil accident." Gordon said. "After I left rehab, I came here. You organized International Rescue so that there was a position for everyone."

"And you have done an amazing job." Jeff argued.

"Until the last rescue." Gordon said quietly.

"Gordon…" Jeff began but Gordon interrupted him.

"I know, Dad, I know." Gordon said, trying to keep his voice calm. "It wasn't my fault. I had to make a split-second decision and act. We do it all the time on rescues. We need to be able to do that. Unfortunately, since that rescue, I find myself second-guessing all my decisions. I've lost my self-confidence. I can't work like that. It makes me an ineffective member of the team. And face it Dad, an ineffective member is a dangerous member. I don't want to place my brothers in danger. I couldn't live with myself if any of them got hurt again because of me."

"You know that we don't blame you for what happened to Alan." Jeff said. "Alan is your strongest supporter. Even Scott feels sorry for how he treated you. I know that they trust you."

"But I don't trust myself." Gordon said quietly. "And that is what matters."

Realizing that he was not going to change Gordon's mind, he asked. "Any preference on who should pilot Thunderbird 4 in your place?"

"Gee, Dad, the Thunderbirds are such amazing machines that almost anyone could operate them." Gordon said with a smirk. Then getting serious again, he said. "Please understand Dad, I just need to know that I can make my own way without your input."

"Ok, Gordon," Jeff sighed. "But remember that you always have a job and more importantly you have a family waiting here for you. Do you want to tell your brothers or do you want me to?"

"Uhm…could you do me a favor? Wait until after I am gone before you tell them what is going on." Gordon asked.

"That's a little unfair to your brothers isn't it?" Jeff asked. "They will want a chance to say goodbye."

"John already knows." Gordon told him. "Scott will try to intimidate me into staying. Virgil will just withdraw, and Alan will freak out big time. I don't want to deal with the range of emotions that this news will bring up. Please, Dad, I know that it is a lot to ask, but could you do it?"

"I understand." Jeff said. "Sure, if that's what you want, I'll do it."

End Flashback

Gordon was now in his room packing his bags. Even though he was confident that he had made the right decision, he still was saddened at the idea of leaving home. He planned on leaving that evening. His dad was going to fly him to San Diego, where he had already reserved a hotel suite. Once he had decided on a job, he would look for an apartment of his own.

Gordon heard a knock on his door. Assuming it was his dad to confirm their travel plans, he said. "Come in."

When the door opened though, it was Alan who stood there. Gordon knew that his quiet getaway was lost.

"Hey Gordon," Alan began. "Do you want to…" His voice dropped off as he noticed the half-packed suitcases on the bed. "Is Dad sending you away on business?" He asked

Gordon looked at Alan and calmly said. "No, he's not. I'm leaving Alan."

"Leaving! You can't! You…Scott said…" Alan stumbled for the words.

"I said that I would re-think my decision." Gordon said. "I did, and I came to the same conclusion. Scott has nothing to say about my decision."

"Well, then I'll come with you." Alan said.

"No Alan, I have to do this alone." Gordon told him. "You are my brother and I love you, but I need to find myself. I need to discover what I can be outside the Tracy forum. I can't do that if you are with me."

Gordon could see the fire that flashed in Alan's eyes and expected a major tantrum from him. Instead Alan turned and left the room without saying a word.

John sat at his father's desk, studying the incoming weather reports. Scott and Virgil stood on either side of him.

"How bad is the storm supposed to get?" Virgil asked.

"Well, it could get pretty nasty." John answered. "I don't think that it should interfere with the Thunderbirds, but the high winds and rain that is predicted could cause some downed trees and maybe break some windows."

"Well," Scott said taking charge. "We should try to do as much weatherproofing as we can. How long before the storm hits the Island, John?"

"I would say probably a couple of hours." John said. "We need to let Dad know."

"Go ahead and call…" Whatever else Scott was going to say was lost when Alan came barging into the room.

He stormed over to Scott, yelling at him. "You son of a…" Before anyone could react, Alan punched Scott in the nose, sending Scott to the floor. "You lied to me!" Alan shouted and then left the room.

Virgil reached down to help his brother up. Scott took Virgil's hand with one hand and with the other tried to stem the flow of blood from his nose.

John moved from the chair. "Here Scott, sit down." He ordered.

"What was that all about? What lie?" Virgil asked.

As Scott sat down in the chair, he said quietly. "I have no idea."

TBC

Author's note - Ok, I'll admit it. I'm anxious to get back to the action, so I went ahead and posted this chapter right after the last. Boy, is Alan mad at Scott. Now that Alan knows about Gordon's plans, how is he going to handle it? Will he still try to talk Gordon out of leaving? Will Scott find out why he just got decked? Next chapter should be up tomorrow.