Disclaimer: I'm not J.K Rowling, my name happens to be Erin, so I obviously don't own anything!
Hello, this is Harry. I've been mourning for a while now about the letter that was written back to me from Herbal Essences. I happened to have a "Sorry for You Harry" ceremony in which I invited every Hogwarts student to come say "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you sir Harry Potter" to me. Hermione, Ron, and Dobby came before Severus Snape burst in and said "enough of this nonsense" (he's so ungrateful to me that Severus he is) and forced me to leave. Otherwise I'm sure the ceremony would've had quite a fine turn out, yes, I'm positively sure everybody from Hogwarts would've come and everyone else in the world too, but, sadly, I would have to say no to them coming because, although it would be very nice of them, I would lose sleep and end up looking tired which would not be good for my photo opportunities! Anyway, I figured I should let everybody see what caused me, the chosen one, (much better than "the boy who lived" don't you think?) to have such sadness and rage. Here it is.
Harry Potter,
We regret to inform you that we cannot have you model for our shampoo bottles. It is not that we do not appreciate the offer, but we don't use models for our products and we highly doubt that it would increase sales. You, Mr. Potter, are no exception. The pictures on our products are of flowers because they illustrate the name "Herbal Essences." You do not illustrate the name because you are neither "Herbal" or an "Essence." If we ever have models for our products you are welcome to come for the try-outs. However, the chances are very unlikely that that will occur.
Regretfully,
Herbal Essences
Wasn't that just crude? I'm going to go to the spa now.