Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.
Feedback is welcome, and thank you so much for the kind remarks thus far!
This is Chapter 5 more to come. Chapter 6 will explain the "R" rating….
Chinese translations:
lao tian, bu: oh god noTian sa de e mo: goddamned monsters, wicked demons
Ren ci de Fo zu: merciful Buddha
dong ma: understand
mei-mei: little sister
xin ai di xiong di: beloved brother
Consequences
Mal hung over Wash's shoulder as the pilot repeated the results of his search, for the last hour of being stuck at the helm: there were no ships in the vicinity which appeared to be interested in them. No signs of anyone tracking them either, although he couldn't say for sure that there wasn't someone out there who was just very good at not being detected.
Wash then excused himself to join the others, who were playing what appeared to be a very raucous game of cards in the dining hall, leaving Mal in helm control to chew over this information (or lack thereof). He was leaned up against the storage locker, thinking about their lack of a good plan when Selene appeared at the doorway, sauntered in, and plopped herself down in Wash's chair. Mal raised his brows, and folded his arms. Selene pretended not to notice his defensive stance, and picked up one of Wash's toy dinosaurs.
"I believe I might just have a plan, Captain Reynolds" she began, as the dinosaur "walked" across a control panel.
For all his brave words about believing and trusting Selene the other day, Mal still had his doubts about her, and her reasons for coming to Serenity to meet him, but he was curious to hear what she had to say. "I can hardly wait" he deadpanned.
Selene raised her eyes at the Captain's apparent diffidence, but looked down again to continue to fiddle with the dinosaur. She was a little nervous to lay out her plan to the Captain; it involved a great deal of risk to his crew, and from what little she knew of him, she understood he would be reluctant to put his crew in danger. "The way I see it, our problem is twofold", she began. Mal noted her use of the word "our". And the fact she was still playing with Wash's dinosaur.
"There are two sets of warrants: one set is Alliance, for Jayne … I mean Mr. Cobb, and Simon and River Tam; the others are Blue Sun and they are for the Tams only. Mr. Cobb's warrant information is in the Alliance system, which puts it on the standard notice boards, but his warrant wasn't labelled as a priority until recently. The Tams' warrants, however, are noted as high priority. That's why you've had both Alliance spies and bounty hunters coming after the Tams, but no one for Mr. Cobb, until me. While only a few people until now have been aware of the bounty on Mr. Cobb, there are many more aware of the bounty on the Tams." She was continuing to fiddle with the dinosaur (it was now doing a little dance), but when she looked up to see Mal regarding her a mite strangely, she put it back with its other friends. And continued, holding his gaze.
"Getting rid of those warrants won't be easy, but there is a way. I did it myself when I needed to disappear. We need to erase the idents of all three from the Alliance central system computers. That can be accomplished by hacking in on any Alliance mainframe and deleting the files. Someone then needs to initiate a cascading systems failure which will crash the entire Alliance network. I have developed a virus, a worm really, which can accomplish this. When the system reboots, the identities of the three and the warrants will be gone, and no-one will know they were even in there in the first place". She held eye contact with Mal, looking up at him, watching his reaction thus far.
Mal sighed. This did not sound to him like an easy plan. "Mainframes are hard to come by and well-guarded. How do we get to one, undetected, erase files and crash the system without getting all kinds of arrested, might I ask?"
Selene had considered this. "All the big military ships have a mainframe, connected to the entire network at any given time. I can tell you exactly how to get on one of those ships, with minimal risk to those on the mission". Mal raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing further.
Selene took Mal's silence as his assent (for the moment anyway) and continued. "As for problem of the Blue Sun warrants on the Tams, that is much more tricky. They have a separate system from the Alliance, very well protected. But if we don't get rid of the warrants there, they will simply re-post their information to the Alliance, and all the work of erasing River and Simon from the Alliance systems will have been for nothing. We would have to hijack or capture a handler ship, and hack into their system separately, either before or simultaneous to hacking into the Alliance system. Again, it is just a matter of erasing some key files, feeding in the virus, and watching their systems crash."
Mal finally spoke, having guffawed ever so slightly at the suggestion of attacking a Handler ship. "Is that all?" he said. "A simple plan, maybe a mite ambitious, don't ya think?"
"I didn't say it would be easy, and I have to admit there's a good deal of risk involved. The way I see it, we'd need two teams, one for the Alliance ship, one for Blue Sun. I will be in charge of the Blue Sun team. And I believe I know who will be best suited for the Alliance team." Selene leaned forward in her chair, and looked intently into Mal's eyes.
Mal was amazed at her brazenness, and he leaned in towards her too, saying, "Excuse me, Ms. Nolan, but who's the captain here and who's the … guest?"
Selene smiled, and leaned back. She crossed her legs and picked up her small plastic dinosaur friend, studying it intently. "Captain Reynolds, of course you will have the final say on whatever you decide to do. You might keep in mind, though, that I have done this before, successfully, and my experience and skills might be of use to you in such a venture." At that point, she looked up, met Mal's eyes again, and smiled coldly. "Besides which, in the absence of any other bright ideas, you are going to have to dump your medic and his sister, plus your pet merc, on the next habitable rock, because the amount of heat on your ship and your business is going to be unbearable once the word spreads of that big fat bounty Jayne Cobb is carrying on his head".
Mal shook his head. He didn't like being backed into a corner, whether she was right or not. He wondered again if she was manipulating him for some purposes other than what she had told them. He retorted, "Whether or not you may have a point, I am still captain of this ship. As far as I'm concerned, any decisions made will be mine, taking your … suggestions under advisement".
Selene bristled. She put down the dinosaur a little forcefully, and although she remained seated, her anger seemed to crackle around her. "Captain Reynolds, this is my plan; I'm not making "suggestions" to you. I'm involved all the way, or not at all", she snarled in her most imperious companion tone.
Mal gritted his teeth; he hated when Inara spoke to him like that, and he didn't like it any better coming from this damned assassin bitch. It was arrogance, pure and simple, he thought.
"I'm a reader, Captain Reynolds, remember?" Selene spat. She looked furious, spoiling for a fight, Mal thought. And just as if she had heard him, she breathed sharply and deeply, visibly reining herself in, abandoning the companion's tone, but still full of her sense of rightness. "It's not arrogance, Captain. I just know what this mission will require of each and every person involved. I had to do this all on my own last time, and I almost died in the process. I don't want that to put anyone on this ship in unnecessary danger."
She looked down at her hands, still clenched in her lap. She willed them open, breathing deeply, her body relaxing. When she felt ready, she raised her eyes to Mal again. "Look, I know you don't have much reason to trust me. You barely know me, and I've been out in the 'verse on my own for so long, I forget how to talk to people. I'm sorry, for coming across like a royal pain in the ass". Mal smiled at that, taking his own irritation down a notch. She noted his reaction positively and continued. "I am very much aware of what I'm asking you to do, Captain Reynolds. I understand the risk that you and your people would be taking in order to carry out this plan. I hope you can believe me when I say that I'm trying to keep your people as safe as possible. I wouldn't ask you to put your faith behind me if I weren't sure it would work, that we could handle this." She faltered for a moment, then grinned wickedly. "Besides, if I wanted to hurt you, I could've killed you all several times over by now." Mal's smile froze on his face, before it was apparent to him that she was, indeed, joking. He grinned full out, and shook his head.
"Well, Ms. Nolan, you certainly have a way about you. You're quite right; I'm not all that certain I trust you." He looked at her intently as he continued. "But, it seems that River trusts you, and Jayne … well, I think Jayne most times doesn't trust his own momma, so when he tells me that he trusts you, that's not nothing." Mal saw Selene wince a little at hearing Jayne's name, but she recovered well. Hit a nerve there, Mal thought. He could see she wasn't cold-blooded, like Jubal Early, and although she was guarded about many things (the issue of Jayne seeming to be one of them), she probably had good reason to be. Couldn't hurt to hear her out. He regarded her for a moment longer. "All right. Let's hear some details. I'll bet this plan of yours is a doozy".
Selene smiled, warming up to this Captain. He was a pragmatist, she thought, not unlike herself. Before she could begin outlining any of her plan, Mal motioned for her to wait a moment, while he turned and walked a couple of steps away, looking over to make sure the others were still well involved in their game far off in the kitchen, which they were. It appeared River had stolen Kaylee's cards, and was running around the table with Kaylee chasing after her. The others were laughing and cheering one or both of the girls on.
Mal, still watching the antics in the kitchen, he continued, "Besides which, we don't have any other plans, and I couldn't figure how to get rid of you when you latched onto Jayne in the first place…". Mal turned back towards her and smiled a little sheepishly at this confession.
Selene smiled, "My friend Ban-Wei tells me I'm like a fungus that way, Captain Reynolds, hard to get rid of once I grow on you".
Mal actually laughed out loud. "Just one thing", he said. "You have to stop calling me Captain Reynolds all the time. Call me Mal, or Captain, or Cap, 'cause seriously, Captain Reynolds sounds like he's got a stick up his pi-goo. Oh, and that whole "Mr. Cobb" thing? The man's name is Jayne, and we ain't never heard him called "Mr." anything." Mal watched her face when he said Jayne's name, but she didn't react. He leaned in a little closer to her, not willing to let this go. "You spent a lot of time with the man. What did you call him during those long weeks, alone together?" Now her discomfort was apparent. Time to cut to the chase, he thought. He leaned back a little, giving her some room to breathe. "It's obvious something's going on between the two of you; do you want to tell me what that is, exactly?"
Selene had tried to keep from showing a reaction. She knew she looked uncomfortable, and felt she had to regain control. She looked up at him, willed a charming smile to her lips, and replied, "Captain, I will surely try to call you by whatever title you prefer, and I may even get used to calling you Mal. I've never had cause to be close to people before, so first names can be a little awkward for me." She held his eyes, deliberately. "As for Mr. Cobb … Jayne … as I'm sure he has told you, I paid a tidy sum to get him away from some unsavoury slaver types, in order to get information on a bounty. I was clear at the time that our … relationship would be on a purely business level. And that's where it stands now, as far as I am aware. There is really nothing more to tell". Her smile did not extend to her eyes, as Mal studied her closely.
Mal knew there was more to tell, since the moment she came on board with Jayne, it was apparent to anyone with eyes that there was something there. He could hear it in her voice now; the way they looked at each other, the palpable tension between them when they were in the same room. But, he thought, she wasn't going to give him anything more. At least, not right now. Maybe he could talk Kaylee or Inara into finding out more from her, woman to woman. He already knew he wouldn't get much out of Jayne, more than he already got, without dangling him out an airlock, and he didn't want to use that trick again unless he really had to. So, once again, he was faced with the decision of whether or not to trust her.
Finally, he nodded, and smiled his own tight smile, which didn't make it to his eyes. "Alright then, Selene Nolan, let's talk teams".
Selene could see he didn't believe her lack of explanation, but she was relieved that he seemed to be letting it go, at least for the time being. After all, how could she explain to him what she herself did not understand? Any ability she had at reading Jayne seemed to have disappeared over the past few days, leaving her frustratingly unaware of his feelings on any subject, but especially of her. She didn't know exactly what she felt for him, and told herself it didn't matter anyway: she had a mission to plan. She just hoped Mal could trust her enough to see the logic of what she proposed.
"First", she began, "what I am about to tell you, all the details of this plan, I ask you please to divulge to no-one else, not the rest of the crew. The survival of all of us will depend on discretion. Is that going to be a problem for you?"
Selene and River met daily in the cargo bay, early, before the other stirred. Selene began by teaching River meditation to calm her mind, showing River how to harness her energy through yoga and Tai-Chi, and then demonstrated to her the various fighting styles she had been taught at the Academy all those years before, plus some she had picked up over the years. River's knowledge of fighting was limited; she had been recovered by Simon fairly early on, and the Academy probably wanted to make sure they had her on a tight leash before they began to teach her the art of killing. River had some natural talent though, having been a dancer, and, as Mal had warned Selene, the ability to kill three men with nothing but math and a gun.
Mostly, they didn't speak, at least out loud. They found it easier to communicate directly, wandering in and out of each other's minds, seeing the ideas, copying, understanding. River learned very quickly. Their shared mental abilities seemed to get even stronger the longer they spent together. It was difficult for each of them to disengage when training time was over, and sometimes found themselves wandering into the other's thoughts before they even realized it was happening. Selene found increasingly that the thoughts of the others on board seemed to become louder, more insistent, but River had been learning to block them out some, and she taught Selene how to manage the deluge of information that seemed to leap into her brain, unbidden. Selene was amazed by River's talents and strength. Selene had always had to concentrate and reach her mind out to hear others, but River's gift was much stronger, and intrusive.
Having someone with whom to share her thoughts was helping River's recovery, Selene observed. She was increasingly able to articulate to Simon and the others what she was feeling and thinking, without it coming out all garbled or strange. River told Simon that Selene's mind was like an anchor, their contact stopped her from drifting away into nightmares and madness.
River and Selene shared their Academy memories with each other too, gently, and in small pieces, not like that first day when the combination of River's memories and her own had sent Selene into a mental overload, seizure or panic attack, whatever it was.
Selene discovered the Academy training had probably changed little since her time. They started with the experiments and operations on the brain, to heighten the senses, and lessen the individual's will and control. Between surgeries, the subjects were trained by a former top-level companion. Blue Sun knew that a companion's identity opened doors to almost anywhere in the known 'verse, and was therefore a perfect cover for an assassin. Companion training was also valuable in teaching the separation of emotion from logic. River had been able to access some of this training, when she was lucid, before Selene came. She showed Selene her experiences with Badger, and Jubal Early. She had read them, used the information from their heads together with a gesture, an accent, a hidden memory, to throw them off, make them sloppy, gain an advantage. Of course, River giggled, everyone had been too shocked when she wandered around talking like Badger to take advantage of her grand distraction.
When the brain surgeries were complete, then began the most intensive fighting programs and training, the weapons, killing techniques, and so on. Troubling to Selene though, was that while she had been one of perhaps three or four, when she went through "the program", River said there were dozens of "students" in her class. Dozens of Blue Sun assassins! How many of them natural readers? Selene asked in her thoughts. Not many, River replied. Maybe four or five. Bad enough, thought Selene. Could be worse, River retorted. There were more, but they went mad. They would be fine, then the next day the madness would come, take hold of them, and sink forever into them. Men came, and took the afflicted ones away, and we never saw them again. Don't know what happened to them. Selene shivered. She knew. She hid it from River.
And so the days passed, as they practised, planned their mission, and shared their company, in near silence. They were aware as the others began to wake, went to the mess, did their work, or just watched them curiously. Inara and Zoe sometimes joined them in their yoga stretches or Tai-Chi, in the afternoons or evenings. And then there was Jayne. He watched from up on a high catwalk, where he thought he wouldn't be detected. But Selene felt him up there, saw herself and River through his eyes. River prodded at her in her mind, told her to go to him, talk to him. Selene wouldn't, and River sighed audibly at the stubbornness of the two of them. Jayne watched Selene all the time, it seemed, but avoided direct contact with her, even hid from her once when she did come looking. At least, he thought she was looking. And Selene was continually frustrated that her lack of ability to read Jayne, despite the heightening of her reading abilities when River was around, wasn't improving. Ever since they first met, he seemed to have the ability to close off parts of his mind, like doors and windows shutting her out. And without the knowledge he felt something for her, she told herself, she couldn't allow herself to be emotionally vulnerable to him.
River thought they were both terrible cowards. She was having some trouble, trying to understand the interactions between men and women. She watched the others, looking for clues. Many guarded their hearts, like Selene, and Jayne: Mal, Inara and Simon too. Kaylee, on the other hand, was very open when it came to matters of the heart; she wore her admiration for Simon like a shiny necklace. Zoe and Wash also, they shone in the presence of one another, their comfort was like a warm sweater, whether they were working together, arguing, or making love. River sometimes heard them in her head and felt their connection like waves tumbling onto the beach. She blushed furiously when it happened during training with Selene one day. She swooned a little, and Selene caught her and held onto her, reaching into her mind to balance her again. Selene saw and felt what River had seen, and she chuckled a little in her head. She admonished her silently, there were some things that should be private, they shouldn't snoop in. I couldn't help it, thought River back, they jump into my head sometimes. It's better than it used to be.
River ventured a little further, silently asking Selene about her past lovers (she knew Selene had some), but Selene was very guarded. There were still places in her mind she kept secret from River. She said River was too young yet, and although River pouted a little (How else am I to learn about things, she asked silently), she let it drop.
As the days passed, and preparations were made, Selene thought over each aspect of her plan. She and River were to take The Circe to Boros, where Selene had traced the handlers who had been following them from Persephone. Mal had been none to happy with her plan to attack the handlers with only River by her side. Any notion he had of trusting her seemed to evaporate when she suggested it: River was too young, too fragile; Simon wouldn't allow it; Selene was going to sell River out; and so forth. Selene quieted him simply, telling him to ask River if she wanted to do it, and if she did, they would handle Simon, and she would ensure River was physically and mentally up to the challenge. River had chosen that moment to enter helm control, her hair all mussed from running around the table with Kaylee's cards, before Kaylee had managed to wrassle them back from her.
"She's right, we are the only ones who can go", River said, a little out of breath. "The only ones who can stop them from coming after us. Anyone else will die trying".
Selene looked at the dishevelled girl, and nodded. She turned to Mal. "Look Captain, the Academy put me through hell. Many times over. There is no way, in this lifetime or the next, that I would allow them to take this girl and put her through that again. I would kill her myself before I would let that happen. That is, obviously, not an outcome that I would like to see, but if it came down to it, I would ensure both our deaths, rather than to be used again like that". River had nodded. Mal had found himself appeased. Spooked, but appeased.
But Simon was another matter. When Mal told him what Selene had planned, and that River had already agreed to along with it, he was panicked. He hadn't risked everything to save his sister, just to have her die in a foolish attempt to storm a handler ship. He was the only other person on the crew, outside of Mal, who knew what Selene and River had planned. He had begged River not to go, he begged Selene to leave River behind, but in the end, River insisted it was her choice and hers alone, that she knew he was worried, but that Selene would look after them both. "That's why she came, Simon. She came to find me and help me. With her help, I can defeat them, I can get them out of my head and start to learn how to be a real girl". Simon felt helpless, he couldn't change River's mind, and he didn't want to deny her the chance to have a normal life. But that didn't stop him from resenting Selene's influence over his baby sister. River looked up to Selene, and they shared some sort of wordless communication with each other, he knew. River somehow told Selene things that she couldn't, or wouldn't share with him. River tried to explain it to him, but he couldn't hear her. He only felt his unhappiness that this stranger was taking his sister away from him. He knew it was irrational, yet he didn't seem to be able to stop feeling it.
Although Selene seemed genuinely protective of River, and, if he admitted it, of him too, he still resented her. She came to him a day after the plan was hatched, to give him more information about her own implant, and how one like it could help River. Simon, still angry, turned away, and growled, "If she survives".
"Simon, there's something else". He refused to look at her, refused to turn around, despite Selene's pleading tone. Finally, she grabbed his shoulders and turned him forcefully to face her. Simon was shocked by her strength, and startled as he stared into her eyes, the colour of a storm at sea, filled with pain. "Simon", she began, "I will take care of her. I won't take her away from you." She faltered, and looked away, and Simon knew there was more. She dropped her hands from his shoulders, and looked into his eyes again. He saw pity there. He didn't much like it. "I … I've looked into River's mind, and she … she doesn't know anything about what I'm about to tell you. Any knowledge I have about it, I've hidden from her. She'll find out soon enough, but I didn't want … ." Selene didn't seem to know how to continue and looked away again.
Simon, his anger ebbing away, being replaced by a mixture of curiosity and dread, touched her arm, and guided her back to lean against the examination table. Selene took his hand in hers. "Simon" she started, looking him in the eyes again. "I'm so sorry. Your parents … they're dead Simon. Blue Sun had them murdered, and framed you and River. I … I think they wanted to make your crime seem so horrible, that no-one would question why the Alliance was hunting down a young surgeon and a teenaged girl." Selene could see all the emotions playing out on Simon's face: shock, disbelief, anger, grief.
"No", he said, shaking his head, pulling his hand from Selene's, "it's not possible. I just saw … why would anyone … lao tian, bu!" he gasped, his eyes wide as he backed away from her. Selene let him go, watched him move away, all with the sorrow she felt reflecting back from her eyes. Simon was shaking, he felt he couldn't trust his legs to hold him up. "What if it's another lie, to get us to go back?"
It was Selene's turn to shake her head. "I don't think it's a lie. When I told Jayne to bring me to Serenity to meet with the Captain, to find out about you and River, I used our travel time to do some more research, dig a little deeper. Their deaths were on your warrants. The police reports … they appear genuine. I cross-referenced every allegation, every piece of evidence I could access. It all adds up. There … there were pictures too." Selene looked down. "The Handlers, they're tian sa de e mo, Simon. There's nothing they won't do". She was remembering the carnage they left behind on her home world. Wondered how she could have seen those pictures of the Tam house and not seen the similarities….
Simon looked as if he might be sick. "How long ago?" he asked, his voice soft.
Selene looked up. "The police reports indicate they found your parents' bodies on a Saturday; you and your sister were reported missing on Monday. You had taken the weekend off from the hospital, so when you didn't show up…. It must've been when you got River out of The Academy. That day, or the next."
Simon, still looking ill, and now haunted, met her eyes. "To save her, I sacrificed them? I … I had no idea anyone could do this. What kind of sick …". He didn't need to answer that. They had tortured his sister. Cut into her brain. Done god knows what to countless others. He had been naïve to think there wouldn't be repercussions for what he had done, stealing River from them. "Who else knows?"
"Jayne. I told him when I was trying to persuade him to help me get to you. I doubt he's said anything, or that he would. Ever. River doesn't know, but I don't know how long I can keep it from her."
Simon considered the bounty hunter, saw in her eyes how much it took for her to tell him about the death of his parents. He believed her, that she had been through as bad as this and then some. He supposed he should be grateful that he didn't have many friends, not close ones anyway, and that he had told no-one that he was going to get River out of the Academy. He couldn't get anyone else killed, then. Except for himself, River, the entire crew of Serenity…. Ren ci de Fo zu, what had he done?
Selene saw his pain, she knew what he was thinking, without having to look inside his head. "Simon, you mustn't blame yourself; it's them, they'll do anything to keep their control of her, and they would've turned her into a monster had you left her there. You couldn't have known what they would do. But now you know what they are capable of, if you had any doubts."
Simon looked down, nodding slowly. "I want to see the records. Everything. I need to … understand the reality of what you're saying. And I need to speak to River."
Selene nodded, and pulled an envelope from her back pocket. "Files are on the disk. Also there's printouts of some information I got off the Cortex." She held the envelope out to him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Simon, I really am very sorry. The only thing I can tell you is this: I will do everything in my power to keep River from harm. But I need her for this mission, and you both need this mission to succeed in order to have any hope at a normal future."
Simon looked at her then, taking the envelope and its contents from her. "I'll tell River. Before you go. And Selene…?" Her eyes were locked with his, as she saw the determination and resolve take root there. "Kill them all. Obliterate them."
Selene had seen what grief could do to some, and didn't doubt the doctor's sincerity in what he asked of her. She took his hand in both of hers, and brought it to her lips, kissing his hand in a gesture of comfort and sorrow all at once. She met his eyes again.
"Dr. Tam… Simon… they will pay for this. As much as I can make them pay…, dong ma?" Her eyes were full of tears again, and Simon didn't trust himself not to completely lose control himself, should she set her emotions loose again. The pain was too fresh. He squeezed her hands, and let go, turning away.
Selene turned to leave, almost running into Jayne on her way out of the infirmary, neither she nor Simon having noticed him standing there during the last moments of their exchange. Jayne's expression was unreadable, but he saw Selene's eyes full of tears, and the anger came easily. What in the name of the mother goddess and all her wacky nephews was going on between them two? Selene looked up at him, her eyes reflecting her deep pain, before she rushed away. Jayne looked at the doctor, but his body language reflected something Jayne didn't want to mess with. More grief, pain. He thought better of a confrontation, and went back to his bunk. Seems he was spending most of his time there these days….
River's face was blank. Simon wondered if she had understood him. "Mei-mei? I know this is a shock, I'm sorry, the information Selene had was … genuine, I think." Simon still held her small hands in his. He looked at her eyes, but she didn't seem to be in there. He almost jumped out of his skin when she spoke.
"I knew Simon. I … knew when I woke up in that box. I had nightmares, I saw it … I kept it hidden in a back room in my mind. I didn't know how to tell you. So I left the memories in that room, and closed the door, locked it, and barricaded it. That's why Selene couldn't see that I knew." She finally seemed to come back to him, meeting his eyes with comprehension and sorrow. "I'm sorry xin ai di xiong di. I wish I had your courage". Simon was amazed, and a little disturbed, as he drew in his sister for a hug. They clutched each other and rocked for a while, but neither cried. All their tears had been shed, and there was a mission to complete.
River looked at Simon as they drew apart. "Simon, you know Selene is helping me, right? Helping me get better?" Simon nodded. "My words are getting better, I can speak my thoughts to you and they make sense. I know you don't understand how it is that she and I are able to communicate without speaking, just in our heads. I can't really explain it very well just yet. I don't have the right words. But I think you and I could do that too. Someday. When I have more skill, and maybe you can relax a little." She smiled at Simon's look of defensive surprise. "You can't deny it; you're wound so tight I'm surprised you don't snap like an elastic band sometimes. Kaylee tells you all the time. You should listen to her!" She pressed on. "You're my brother, and I think … no, I sense that you have skills to do what Selene and I do. So don't feel jealous of Selene; she can never be what you are to me, dong ma?"
Simon shook his head. She really was the smart one in the family. Even if they were all that was left… no, those thoughts need to stop. What he said instead was, "River, I don't have to tell you how worried I am for you to be out there. Be careful; be safe. Come back to me, okay?" They held each other close for a long while.
The rest of the crew knew that Selene and River were leaving, but Mal told them it was to visit a specialist to get River's brain looked at. Simon wouldn't discuss it with anyone, not even Kaylee. He pushed her away, her concern and her worried eyes, every time she tried to find out what was bugging him. It was vital, Selene had explained to Mal and Simon, that the others had no idea what she and River were up to. If the handlers were alerted to their purpose, the odds that she and River would be captured climbed out of their favour. They needed to catch their prey by surprise.
The other team, the one going on to the Alliance Destroyer, MacArthur, were to be Book, Zoe and Kaylee. Mal had been confused by Selene's insistence on these particular three, and Selene explained: Kaylee had mechanical and computer expertise she would be able to hack into the system, find and erase the files, and feed in the virus; Zoe was the muscle, and the only one who could likely pass as Book's niece. "As for Book", Selene said, "I suppose you already know there is more to the preacher than meets the eye. He will be … welcomed, for the most part, and his presence with Zoe and Kaylee should give them clear passage to the Cortex mainframe."
Mal had asked her directly, "What do you know about Shepard Book?" His curiosity would remain unsated, however.
Selene considered her answer carefully. She did not give this recommendation lightly; she and River went for a long walk through the preacher's mind before making their plan for this team. "I have encountered Shepard Book before, Captain. It was a lifetime ago, for both of us. It seems to both River and I that he is sincere in his … present vocation. I have no doubt that he will carry out his mission and protect the others. As for what I know about him, and the life he used to have, it is not for me to say. I would suggest you ask him."
Mal guffawed. He hadn't pried too deeply into Book's past, but it seemed obvious he had some sort of Alliance connections, after that incident where he was shot. Book hadn't exactly been eager to share that information with him, and Mal had respected the man's privacy. But now, entrusting the man with his best lieutenant and his little mechanic, meant that he did want some more information, some reassurances, and he planned on getting them, and he decided to take Selene's advice and go straight to the source.
Book listened to Mal's questions, and the little that Selene had told the Captain about him. He nodded. "Of course, Captain, under the circumstances, where I am to be the lynchpin in a dangerous mission involving two of your crew, I would want more information on me too. I am grateful to the assassin, Selene, for not saying what she knows about my past, because that is, firmly, where my former life is: the past. I… I am not proud of that man, Captain, and have tried to make amends for his sins by devoting my life to God. She … Selene, she's changed too. I recognized her when Zoë brought her on board, but the thing she used to be, the creature I once met, that's gone."
"I guess I am asking you to trust me, Captain, for a little while longer. We have been flying together for a number of months now, and I think we trust each other fairly well. I won't let you down, and when I return, you may find some of your questions are already answered. And I'll do my best to fill in the rest then."
Mal raised his eyebrows again. For the captain of this boat, he sure felt left out of the information loop. Yet, he thought, Book had proven himself in a fight, he was loyal to the others on the ship, and had done his share in a number of business ventures. If he were there to spy on them, they would've been arrested by now, he figured.
"Fine" Mal had said, curtly. "I expect some answers when you return, Shepard. I don't like secrets on my ship. And there are a few too many at the time for my liking".
The preparations were made for the second shuttle, piloted by Zoë, to be flown into the Alliance territory and request boarding on the MacArthur. Kaylee had the chip containing the computer virus and instructions from Selene on how to use it. She also had clues from Selene about the locations of the files she needed to delete. She had further, secret instructions from Mal about a file he wanted her to retrieve….
Mal, Wash, Simon, Jayne and Inara were to remain on board Serenity, following the shuttle under the radar, so to speak, should they need to make a quick getaway. Jayne wished that he could do more than sit around, but as Mal pointed out to him, his ident was on the Alliance system, and if they caught on to his presence, he could put the whole mission in danger.
Jayne suspected there was more going on with Selene and River than Mal would tell him. He tried asking Simon, since it seemed he and Selene had something going on, but the doc refused to talk to him about it at all. He tried being nice and everything. Gorramit. He could always ask Selene, he thought, but that would require him to grow a spine and do it. Once again, he cursed his cowardice at not being able to face her. Probably getting things going with the doctor when he interrupted that time. She was just so fine, and he was just a big, dumb merc, and she would more than likely be horrified of his interest in her. At least, that's what he told himself. He was beginning to believe it too, that he had just imagined the look in her eyes in the bar on Bethany, the way her body felt pressed up to his, and her trembling hand, touching his chest, and … okay, that line of thinking had to stop right now. Only so much time a man can spend in his bunk, relieving tension, so to speak.
So he watched her instead, from far away. He kept his thoughts and desires to himself, he was careful not to show any emotion at all when she was around. Little did he know he was fooling no-one else on board, except for maybe Selene herself, because she was scared as well. At that moment, Zoë and Inara had joined River and Selene for their evening Tai-Chi. Kaylee didn't have the patience for it, but she loved watching the slow and studied movements. She was sitting on a crate in the cargo bay, right next to Selene's ship. Heck, that ship took up most of the cargo bay, weren't room to do much of anything down there anymore. And their workouts were blocking his access to his weights; he would have to walk right past the women to get at them. He sighed, guess he had no choice but to just watch.
He watched as they moved, slowly, in perfect unison. He relaxed as he observed them, and suddenly he felt a little tickle in his brain, like a question. He heard River giggle, and Selene telling her to stop. He was staring right at Selene the entire time, and it dawned on him that neither River nor Selene had said anything out loud. They were still practising their Tai-Chi in perfect unison, but both of them were looking up at him. Selene's eyes were locked with his; neither of them looked away for several seconds, until he broke the contact, spooked more than just a little.