Desire
She ran through one last systems check on The Circe. Wash and Kaylee had already checked everything twice, but she had to run it through just once more. She couldn't sleep anyway, although she tried. She had taken the habit of wearing a thin and worn green linen shirt to bed, and not much else. After tossing and turning for an hour, she got up, pulled on her soft brown trousers, and put her hair up in a loose pony tail, rebellious curls still escaping. Might as well make herself useful, if sleep wasn't going to come. She tried to convince herself that this mission was not unlike her information recovery missions, like when she purged the Alliance systems on Ariel of her information, and substituted the identity of a companion in her name. Or when she had broken into the police records to get the info she got on Jayne, Simon, and River. But in her heart, she knew this was different. She was preparing to crawl into the belly of the beast, and to risk being swallowed whole. She was also aware of the danger to the others, that her plan put them in harm's way. She knew there was a reason she usually worked alone.
However, her restless mind countered, together she and River were stronger than either of them could possibly be alone. They were learning to work better as a team, honing their communication, synchronizing their attacks and defences. They would be ready when the fight started, as she had no doubt it would. But it wasn't so much for River that Selene was worried tonight. The reason sleep turned away from her, why she was tinkering with and checking a ship that had probably never been in better shape since it rolled off of the production line 20 years ago: she was thinking about Jayne. Thinking about how he looked at her from his perch on that catwalk this evening. Wondering if he had any idea that her knees had turned to jelly at that very moment.
She had spoken under a dozen words to him since she came on board Serenity, and he had possibly said less to her than that. She felt his absence like a bare foot in a heavy boot, hidden, blistered, hot. The analogy was silly, it might have been River's (sometimes her thoughts ran around in her mind, giggling, breathless, just like she was playing some chasing game with Kaylee). But it described what she felt. All of the people on this ship, they had bonded with one another; they were a family. It made her loneliness that much more difficult to bear. Jayne was the first person in ages to make her feel normal, a regular person, attractive, still a little strange, yet somehow comfortable in her own skin. She knew she had to say things to him before she left, in case she didn't make it back. She just didn't know if he still wanted to hear them. He might have if she had been able to say them that night in the bar. Or the next day, when he was so kind and gentle with her, and she mostly ignored him until he left her alone, but now? It just got more awkward with every hour of every day that passed.
Damn, for someone with companion training, she was sure acting like she didn't have the foggiest idea of what she was doing. That's because it wasn't real before, this isn't pretend. River again, whispering in her mind. River, she thought to her friend, please, I need to be alone in here right now. River retreated. Selene was starting to get used to River and her communicating without words, but after years of not sharing her thoughts out loud with anyone, it was still jarring sometimes, to have them laid bare in your mind for another to see. But overall, the relationship between her and River, their cerebral closeness, actually made her feel more comfortable, knowing that River understood her, in ways she wasn't sure any other person would. But if she wanted Jayne to understand, she would have to tell him. Face to face, using words. Right, she thought with sudden determination, I have to do this, and there's no time like the present.
Jayne was on his way down to his weights, to work off some of the excess energy he just couldn't seem to shake these last few days. Since the others had finally gone to bed, he figured he would have the cargo bay to himself. He knew Selene slept in her shuttle on board the Circe, but he figured it likely that even she would be asleep by now. He was still mad that he hadn't had the courage to talk to Selene, but hey, it wasn't like she was busting down his door to talk to him! She had the doctor for that. Probably didn't help that he was avoiding her neither. He likely would've hid if he heard her coming. So when she stepped out of The Circe as he passed by, he almost jumped out of his skin. Selene too was surprised; the merc's sudden presence (which she hadn't sensed, being too busy going over those words she wanted to say to him) suddenly erased everything she had practiced in her head. Gone, just like that. So, they stared at each other for a full five seconds before either of them made a sound. When Selene laughed, Jayne felt the corners of his mouth go up into a lop-sided grin. "I was just going to look for you" Selene exclaimed, buoyed by his smile. She just decided to forge on ahead, and get that which needed saying said. That didn't mean it came out according to plan. She met his eyes and began.
"I wanted to tell you … to thank you … I haven't been myself these past few days, and you have been … well, you've been sweet. But that's not all I had to say. Um … I … you might've noticed that I … that is, we … oh for heaven's sake" Selene sputtered and stumbled and had no clue where her brain had gone. She needed to get her words out. Jayne's eyes were still amused, locked on hers. She tried again, more direct this time.
"Jayne, back on Bethany, and before that too, but on Bethany, when you asked me to dance, and we had wine … I felt something. I haven't felt that something for a very long time, not recently, for sure. And, I thought … you felt it too. I don't need to analyze it or explain it. I just need to tell you that I felt it, and it scared me. It scares me." Selene paused, and looked down. She hated feeling so vulnerable, and she didn't want to let Jayne see her like this; if he rejected her she was sure the pain would strike her dead. She had never gotten to be a girl, after all, the Academy interfered with that, and she had never put herself in this kind of situation before. Feeling vulnerable. Emotionally open. She continued, her eyes still downcast.
"Jayne, everything and everyone that I have ever cared about was ripped from me and destroyed. My home, my mother and father, friends. Blue Sun hunted them down and killed them, and the only reason was that they were precious to me, a way for them to continue to control me. A means to an end. I have protected myself from being … vulnerable by not letting anyone get close enough to me to be put in danger. I have only a handful of friends, scattered and hidden throughout the systems. My parents are dead. I have no home. There is nowhere that I can go to, a place like on Bethany, and call it home, because they will find me and destroy it. Any good that is in my life is dangerous to me and my continued freedom from Blue Sun. And I tend to be fatal to anything I care about. So, whatever I feel, whatever this is that's between us … I don't know where it can go, because … because I find that I care about you and if they were to find you and hurt you I don't know what I would do. And now I'm going away and before I go I had to tell you this but I'm not sure I'm saying any of this right, because …", Selene babbled.
She finally looked back up and saw that Jayne had a look in his eyes that she had last seen on Bethany. He didn't say a word to her, just somehow closed the few feet of distance between them and grabbed her arm, pulled her into him, and kissed her. His lips moved over hers, demanding and rough. His tongue touched hers, gently at first, then ferociously, exploring her mouth, stealing the oxygen from her lungs, until she was out of breath. His hands were everywhere, pulling her hair free from its ponytail, snaking down to pull her hips into his, back up to her shirt, feeling her firm breasts…. She moaned and broke the kiss, and he moved his mouth down to kiss her neck and shoulders, like a starving man tasting ripe fruit. Her hands seemed to have a life of their own, and it was Jayne's turn to moan as she lifted his t-shirt and ran her hands across his tight, muscled belly and chest, teasing his nipples and feeling his body arch at her touch. His mouth was on hers again, and they lost themselves in sensation: hot, hard, cool, soft, wet, gentle. Jayne had Selene pinned up against the hull of her ship, when he grabbed her hips and lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him, Jayne holding her steady. He kept her pinned, but broke their kiss to stare into her eyes, and was gratified to see the desire he felt for her reflected back in her gaze. "Feeling a little … exposed out here in the cargo bay. Permission to come aboard, captain?", he murmured. Selene let her smile develop slowly, seductively, her eyelids drowsy with desire, Jayne thought. Her smile now full and cat-like, she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, "Permission granted, with pleasure". With that, Jayne carried her into her ship, and closed the door behind them with a kick of his foot. The bedroom wasn't so far off.
They just didn't seem to be able to make it there. They would make some progress, then another kiss, the electricity seemed to course through their bodies, their limbs would tangle, and every time they tried to untangle and take a few steps in the right direction, one or the other would be overcome with the impulse to caress, which led to more kissing, more tangling of limbs, hands all over. When they finally got to Selene's shuttle quarters, they were both bubbling over with desire. Selene kicked off her boots, Jayne did the same. Selene grappled with Jayne's t-shirt, finally yanking it off over his head, but she managed to rip the seams, the thread stretching and snapping audibly. She was kissing him, her lips dancing across his, her tongue darting in and teasing, while her hands worked at his belt and pants' zipper. Jayne tried to help her, but she was efficient and all that he was left to do was kick the pants away from his ankles. He stood before her in only his underwear, and she took in the sight of him, and smiled. She still had her clothes on, and seemed completely in control. He was on fire. She beckoned him towards her, and when he came near, she put one hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as it thumped noisily, her other hand brushed his groin, and he breathed in sharply at the sensation. He thought he would explode then and there unless he regained some control, which she appeared unwilling to relinquish. Her hand grew more insistent, tracing the shape of him, pressing gently, now more aggressively. Jayne moaned, and pushed Selene away with one hand, snaking the other behind her back to pull her hips into his. It was her turn to be overwhelmed, as he held her fast at the small of her back, using his free hand to carefully undo the buttons of her shirt, one by one, letting his hand brush her breasts, then caressing her through the shirt, then underneath it. Their hips pressed together, she could feel him through the thin fabric of his underwear, hard, demanding. He moved his hips slightly and they both moaned. He moved her towards the bed, her bed, and lay her down on it. He remained hovering above her, looking at her face and body in awe. Her shirt was unbuttoned but hung at her shoulders, exposing her breasts. Her hair was tousled and messy, her eyes wide and now looked aquamarine, the colour of a stormy sea. His eyes drank her in, a little stunned that a woman so beautiful and smart and amazing was letting him touch her, that she was taking pleasure from him. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" he breathed. Selene smiled, and stretched, her hips rising a little in and said, "But I'm still wearing my pants, Mr. Cobb". He chuckled low in his throat, and said "Let's fix that then, shall we Ms. Nolan?" in a perfect imitation of her companion voice. Selene's eyes went even wider, and she chuckled too. She was delighted that he was playful with her, some men took sex much too seriously. She loved the sensation, the fun. Jayne reclined next to Selene, propped up on his left elbow, while he let his right hand meander over her body, caressing her breasts, teasing her taut pink nipples, over her tight belly, to the fasteners on her pants. He leaned in a kissed her neck, licked her earlobes, and consumed her mouth in another fantastic, oxygen-stealing kiss. By the time she realized her pants were undone, Jayne's hand was pulling them away from her body, leaving her in just her underwear. He played with her as she had with him, stroking her through her underwear, teasing, tickling. She arched her back and moaned, Jayne was grinning at her reactions. She very suddenly turned the tables, by pouncing on him then, pinning his shoulders down on the bed, and straddling him. The underwear between them was an increasingly frustrating barrier, as Selene bent over Jayne, her eyes mischievous, kissing him deeply and at the same time, shifting her hips deliberately to press into his very apparent erection. Jayne was about to come undone, he grabbed her hips and flipped her again, so she was underneath him, and tugged at her underwear. She lifted her hips so he could pull them off her, then sat up and put her hands on his hips, intending to return the favour, and relieve him of the last of his clothing. He complied and with both of them now completely naked, he lay her back down on the bed, supporting her head back onto her pillow. He was so gentle with her, Selene thought, even in the heat of his passion. She wanted him more than ever, and said his name softly.
"Jayne".
He smiled, and answered her, in that same soft and husky tone. "Yes, Selene".
"I thought you didn't kiss on the mouth".
"Who told you that?" He was a little surprised at the comment. And her timing.
"River. She heard you say it a couple of times." Selene wasn't sure where she was going with this, but she after sharing her vulnerability with him, she had a feeling that she needed to know the answer to this one.
"Oh." He considered for a moment. "I guess I never had anyone I wanted to kiss before. I … It's too … close, ya know, like personal. Like a promise."
"Wow." Selene actually was impressed by the simple eloquence and honesty of his answer. "Have you ever… um, kissed someone like that before?"
Jayne looked right in her eyes, and shook his head. "Only once. She … well, she figured out that I was no good. It was a bunch of years ago. I swore after she left that I wouldn't let … that I wouldn't be weak about a woman again. And until I met you, I never thought…". Jayne paused, and took a deep breath, as if he were about to dive into a pool and he didn't know if he could swim.
"I don't know why I feel like this, like I want to… I dunno, devote myself to you or somethin', but I do, and it kinda scares me too, 'cause I haven't felt this way about a girl, not since all those years ago, and you're so pretty, and fancy, and smart, I keep thinking why would she want anything to do with me, and when is she gonna figure out that I'm no good and…" Jayne realized he had been babbling. But Selene's eyes still held his, and they were still full of desire and something else, acceptance, and respect. She put her finger to his lips, stroked his cheek, and pulled his head down for a kiss that left them both breathless.
"I think I know what kind of man you are, Jayne Cobb. And I like him, he's a good man." She smiled up at him. "Mostly. I think I like him even more when he's a little bad…."
Jayne grinned back at her, and traced invisible tracks on Selene's body with his hands, lips, tongue…. And there was no more talking.
She slept only a little, like swimming in shallow water. She would dip beneath the surface of consciousness for what felt like a moment or two, then float back to break the surface of the water. Jayne was her life preserver, she thought. Not letting her drown… actually not letting her sleep was more like it. Every time she drifted off, his hands started moving again, and so it was that neither of them slept much that night. Now, she floated up again, feeling his arms around her, he was snoring lightly. She just lay there in the warming comfort of his embrace for a few moments, she knew they didn't have many left and she wanted to get all she could out of the experience before…. Jayne stirred, nuzzling her hair, tightening his grip on her, kissing her neck. "Good morning, darlin'" he murmured into her ear. Selene tipped her head back and turned to look at him. He looked like a gentle bear, all sleepy and sweet. He smiled and kissed her gently on the lips. Selene knew they had to get moving, but she hadn't counted on the way she was feeling right now.
"I don't want it to be morning yet" she said softly, smoothing his hair. "For one thing, I haven't slept any" she quipped, smiling at him.
"Just wait until you get back, you may never sleep again" Jayne teased. He attempted a leer, but he was as sleep-deprived as her, and not in top leering form. He managed a lop-sided smile instead.
Selene smiled back, then dropped her eyes. "Jayne, I … "
"Shhh. Nothing you need to say"
"But you need to know, I might not have another chance …"
"Shush, woman. I know you have to go, but you will come back, and I already know what's in your heart. In mine too, but I was too dumb or too cowardly to admit to it 'till last night. We're good". Jayne didn't speak of love very easily, and he didn't now use the word itself, but there was no mistaking it, his blue eyes shone as they met hers again.
"We will have a talk when I get back, Jayne Cobb. You may be a man of few words, but there are a few important ones I need to say. But you're right, we can have that conversation when I get back." Selene breathed deeply. "But there is one thing I must say to you before I go. Jayne, I'm not taking River to another doctor. We're going to attack the two handlers that have been tracking us, steal their ship, and use their onboard computer to erase the files on the Tams, and crash their system." Jayne gaped at her; although he had suspected something was up, he had no idea Selene was going to do something so impossibly dangerous, with only River at her side.
"You can't be serious! Isn't that, like, suicide, attacking those guys? They killed eight federal troops in a few seconds, what makes you think that you two girls are gonna stop them? Or do you wanna get captured, River too?" Jayne was angry; he hadn't just put his heart on the line only to have the promise of love snatched away from him like this.
Selene held his gaze. She saw the hurt there, and flinched. But she still held. "I know, it sounds crazy, but we are the only ones who can do this. When River and I work together, we have a very powerful connection; our minds somehow work together, we can hear each other's thoughts, and our abilities, our senses are sharpened. I've taken down handlers by myself before. River and I can do this. I have every intention of surviving this and coming back. Coming back to you, Jayne." His expression softened a bit then, but he wasn't altogether appeased.
"Well then I guess I better suit up, because you're sure as hell not doing this alone, just the two of you" he growled. "You'll need some back-up".
Selene touched his cheek, knowing the frustration he would feel when she told him, "You're not coming with us, Jayne. River and I have to do this, we have the ability to withstand the handlers' weapons. But you don't. If you get near them, they can use a device that will essentially melt out part of your brain. They probably used the same device on those Federals you heard screaming on Ariel. It is a very painful and gruesome death. And I will not allow you to put yourself at risk like that. Besides which, I need you here", Selene finished.
"What for?" he asked, still not liking her plan one little bit.
Selene sighed, and dropped her hand. "If River and I succeed, even if we don't …". When Jayne started to protest, she said, "No, just listen. I told you how River and I have this connection. Not only can we hear each other's thoughts, we can read others much more easily, and sometimes, depending on the person, we can send thoughts to them directly. Whatever happens, good or bad, we are going to try to send a message back to the ship, to Serenity. River's closest to Simon, but she's not sure if Simon will hear her, I guess he's pretty closed up and not … receptive to the experience, at least, not yet. She told me that you were … well, that she had sent words and images to you before, and you have heard her, at least a couple of times. Since we first met, I have read things from you and … you're the person closest to me on this ship, or anywhere for that matter…"
As Selene paused, she held Jayne's eyes with her own. Jayne knew what she was getting at, he was more sensitive and attuned to her after spending three weeks planet-hopping with her than he thought he ever could be to another person. He had developed such strong feelings for her so quick. "I heard you last night, River was in my head, and you told her to quit it, or something".
"You heard that?"
Jayne nodded. As he was appreciating the strangeness of it, he heard her say, "I want you to be the one Jayne. Will you hear me?" and realized that she hadn't actually spoken, but her eyes were still locked on his. She was there, inside his head, soothing and cool, and he could've sworn he tasted apples. Selene smiled at Jayne's stunned expression, and spoke out loud this time.
"I didn't mean to scare you none, it's just that, I've only tried that a couple of times on others, and it's never been so comfortable, moving into another mind before. It's like you opened up to me, welcomed me in."
Jayne didn't know what life would be like, with a woman being able to run in and out of his mind like it had a revolving door or something. He began "So, do you hear everything I'm thinking, or what?"
Selene considered for a moment. "No, I can't hear everything. Before I came here, before I met River, when I really concentrated on a person, I would get more of an image, or like a scent, a smell of an intention. I don't know how exactly to explain it, except that mostly it was imprecise, like seeing the pages of a book flutter by on a breeze, and only being able to make out one or two words. My other senses and my training filled in the gaps."
"With you, it was like you could block me somehow, and although I tried to see what was going on in your head, I only saw blurs. It may have been partially because I had an idea that I would find bad things there, but when I looked I couldn't find them. And you kept surprising me, saying and doing things that I didn't expect".
"Since I've met River, looking into someone's mind is like approaching an entrance that's covered by either a curtain or a door; some things are behind a curtain, and I can move the curtain aside with almost no effort. A door is more work, and sometimes the door is locked. I could force the door open, I think, if I needed to get information out of someone. But I would never open a door or try to get in where you didn't want me peeking. When I'm in there, I can wander around and thoughts are like paintings in a gallery, lined up against the walls".
Jayne grinned, and dropped his voice low. "So, what am I thinking right now?"
Selene grinned back. "I don't need to go into your head to know that, Jayne Cobb!"
They both laughed, then Jayne suddenly grabbed Selene in his arms again and squeezed her close to him. He breathed into her ear, "I wanna hear that you're coming back to me, got that?" Selene clutched at Jayne as desperately as he clung to her, and whispered back, "Got it."
Neither wanted to let go, but a little alarm in the shuttle went off, indicating it was time for Selene to get up, and make the final preparations for herself and River.
Selene pulled away, kissed Jayne lightly on the mouth, and crawled out of bed. She could feel his eyes still on her, but knew their time was up, and she had to go. She went to her washstand, splashed some water on her face, and threw a washcloth in to soak for a quick spongebath. She wouldn't have time for a shower this morning. She heard Jayne behind her, rising from the bed, and approaching her. She didn't turn, instead she grabbed her hairbrush to try to tame her unruly curls into something more practical. Jayne reached around her and took the washcloth, squeezed out the excess water, and said softly "let me do this for you". And with that, he ran the wet washcloth down her neck and back. Selene's body was once again alive with sensation, aching for his touch.
"Dammit Jayne, I don't think this is going to speed things up for me" she said through gritted teeth, trying not to moan. He pressed his naked torso up against her back, while he reached around to wipe the washcloth lazily over her collarbones, dipping down to swirl it over her breasts, and belly. Her hands were in her hair, the brush seemed to be stuck or at least she didn't have the will to try to move it. Jayne's other hand, the one not holding the demon washcloth, was doing its best to ensure that neither of them would ever leave this shuttle.
"I'm trying to be helpful", Jayne rumbled in her ear. Selene was lost, she leaned back into him and moaned low in her throat.
"We so don't have time for this, Jayne". He caressed her breasts with the washcloth again, teasing her nipples, and kissing her neck.
"I know", he whispered. And then he stopped, put his hands on her shoulders to steady her, and stepped away. She whirled around, looking like she wanted to eat him alive. Out of lust or anger, though, he wasn't sure. "I wanted to make sure you remembered what was waiting for you, back here", he teased.
Selene's eyes softened, but only a bit. "I guess we'll both have to keep that remembrance, won't we?" indicating the evidence that he, too, was very glad to see her. She closed the distance between them and kissed him fiercely, possessively. "I will come back, Jayne Cobb. We have something here that I am not willing to walk away from…" and she smiled seductively at him again. And pulled away. "But right now we had better get moving, because a bunch of people are going to be expecting a last briefing before the mission. And our absence is likely to be noticed". Jayne nodded, smiling a little sadly, and turned to find his clothes. She watched him find his underwear and his stretched out t-shirt. She herself pulled out a tank top, clean underwear, and her favourite cream linen shirt. Jayne handed her the brown pants. She took them from him, their hands touching for a moment, and their eyes locking again. "Thanks", she whispered. He was fully dressed and paused, waiting for her. She found her hair brush again, pulled it through her hair, and bound it in a loose pony tail, softer than usual, Jayne thought. She sat on the bed to pull on her boots, and looked up at him. "Jayne, the Captain and Simon know about River's and my mission. But we haven't told the others. If they know, and they are read, it would put us and them in terrible danger."
Jayne nodded, and took her hand in his to help her up. "I'll not say anything, until I hear from you. And I expect you not to leave me waiting, girl". Selene put her arms around him and hugged him close. He smelled her hair and willed himself to remember every curve of her face and body, every muscle, the softness of her skin, and the scent of apples. She felt his concern, she shared it. She memorized his strength, the corded muscles, his large, calloused but surprising gentle hands, the blue of his eyes, the smell of cinnamon on his skin, the sounds he made deep in her chest…. And she had to pull away before they became unable to leave the shuttle. Jayne understood completely, being close to her was like being on fire, and he was liking the feeling of burning up from the inside.
"Let's get on with it then, shall we? Get this mission over with so we can continue this … conversation". She smiled, and so did Jayne. He nodded, and they went to the mess hall together.
The others could see the change in both Jayne and Selene, it was fairly obvious that whatever was between them these past few days was now acknowledged by both of them. River looked questioningly at Selene, but didn't try to go into her mind. Selene smiled at her, and without words whispered that she would explain more later. River could feel the joy in Selene, and she grinned at both of them.
Selene was all business then, instructing Book, Zoe and Kaylee on the location of the Cortex mainframe, and how they were going to get there.
"You're getting the grand tour from Commander Elliott Wong of the MacArthur".
Zoe snorted. "You must be kidding? Won't it be a little difficult to breach the Cortex security system while on the official guided tour?"
"Actually, no. Shepherd Book has made a special request on behalf of his niece, that would be you, Zoe, to view the Cortex mainframe to study its design for implementation of a parallel system on some of the outer worlds, that don't yet have full Cortex access. Your cover will be an engineer. Kaylee here will be your assistant, and any poking around that you do will be completely authorized by the Commander. Before the virus gets fed in, though, Shepherd Book will have to fall ill, create a diversion, and Kaylee, I'll show you a sequence to feed in the Cortex that should show up as a power surge on the internal grid. They'll then think that the crash, when it happens, was as a result of an unrelated power surge, and not to anything you or Zoe were up to -— and they won't suspect my virus. That should also mean little or no trouble for Book and the rest of you when you're ready to leave the Magellan. Any questions?"
Zoe and Book shook their heads, Kaylee said "Nope" in her usual cheery fashion.
Selene turned her attention to Mal. "Captain, River and I should be underway. I have made arrangements with the doctor to meet in sixteen hours on a moon outside the Sweetwater system".
Mal knew that Selene was telling him the approximate location of the handlers' vessel that she and River were planning to attack, to stay away from it but to watch for them after six hours. They had discussed how long it should take Book, Kaylee and Zoe to carry out their mission, and Selene told him she and River would make some calculations, adding ten hours for the benefit of the others. He nodded, looking concerned, and had a look over at Jayne. The big man looked positively miserable with the thought of Selene going. Mal realized that she must have told him the real nature of her and River's mission, and Mal was ready to take the merc out and confine him to quarters to keep him from spilling the information to the rest of the crew. But Selene also caught Jayne's expression, raised an eyebrow at him, and as Mal watched, Jayne recovered, his expression went all neutral again, and he kept his mouth shut. The others in the room were saying their goodbyes now, and Selene smiled at Jayne warmly. He surprised the entire room, Selene included, by picking her up and grabbing her in a bear hug, squeezing her tight for a moment before releasing her to the deck.
Then he grabbed River in the same way and hugged her too. Simon looked apoplectic, Mal saw, and the rest of the crew was baffled by the demonstrative Jayne. But he tried to cover it by saying "You girls be careful out there. I want ya staying outta trouble and getting River here fixed up good." Jayne met Simon's startled expression and nodded slightly, that smallest expression letting Simon know that he knew too, that they both were being left behind while their two most precious girls went gallivanting off to do battle with their biggest demons. Then Jayne threw his arm around the doctor's shoulders, saying "We'll be waiting for ya, so hurry back!" cheerfully. Simon's mouth was agape and he actually winced a little from the force of Jayne's affectionate squeeze.
Mal just shook his head. Time to break up the party and get going. "Alright everyone, lovefest is over, let's get some work done." And with that, Selene and River, both a little shaken by Jayne's goodbye, left the mess to board the Circe. Selene gave one last look at Jayne, and whispered as she passed, "Listen", and then she was gone, the soft smell of fresh apples following her.
Book and Kaylee left next; with one last hug, Wash let Zoe follow them.
Mal and Wash returned to helm control, Inara to her shuttle, and it was just Jayne and Simon left. Simon muttered something about getting back to the lab, when Jayne stopped him, touching him on the shoulder. Simon turned back, as Jayne said, "Doc, they'll take care of each other. Don't you worry…". It sounded a little like he was trying to reassure himself as well as Simon.
The doctor sighed, resigned. "I hope so". And with that, Simon returned to medical, and Jayne was left alone, with his thoughts.