Chapter 13
Extracting himself from her sheets, he sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her, his eyes still half closed in sleep. Lightly, so not to wake her, he ran his fingers from her neck down to her hand, burning what they had shared into his brain before moving and standing to collect his clothes.
Sara's eyes fluttered open when the dip in the mattress beside her was no more. She watched his back as he walked to the dresser to pull on his shirt and retrieve the rest of his clothing before moving to the adjoining door.
Turning when he reached the door, he saw her eyes on him. Just looking at her for a few silent moments, he could recall every sound, every smell and every touch. Blinking to break the spell, he let a small sad smile slowly pull at the corners of his lips before closing the door and cutting the connection.
Standing in the lecture hall, Sara was beginning to think that he wasn't going to turn up and when the last person took their seat, she knew he wasn't going to. Trying to stay calm, she busied herself with the projector for a few moments to buy herself some courage to stand up and do this alone.
Motioning for the light to dim, she turned to the students and took a deep breath. "Evidence." She announced as her opening and raised the remote in her hand to click the first slide to appear on the big screen over her shoulder.
"Crime scene collection and processing. These are not only the key to opening a case, but it's the key to closing it."
Walking through various simulated scenes and throwing out difficult questions, Sara was pleased to see everyone that she called upon to answer, was listening.
Leaning back against the desk, she clasped her bare hands over her stomach, twisting the projector remote with her thumbs and index fingers. "Processing isn't like you see it on the television. It's real, its vital and it's time consuming. You think it will take a few minutes for the Mass Spec to spit out a result, well, you'd be wasting a good few hours, even days, standing in the lab, twiddling your thumbs when there are other leads and other evidence to follow."
Taking a moment for them to scribble down notes, Sara pushed herself up and moved to the front of the stage, standing near the edge. She watched them a moment, casting her eyes over the group slowly. Once she was satisfied everyone was listening again, she held up her hand for silence as a few in the back started muttering.
"I'd listen carefully." She advised them like a teacher would. "Before I finish, I want to ask you all a question."
Sara placed the remote on the podium beside her and looked back up. "Most of you in this room are CSI's, some are techs, detectives, even college students. Let me ask you this question and I want you to think about it for a few minutes before answering. But don't tell me your answer." She told them, raising her eyebrows slightly. "Tell yourself the answer, when you have it."
Waiting a minute, she spoke. "Why are you in this job?" She looked around the room, watching their reactions. "Don't answer it right away. Whatever your answer may be, think about this…"
"… This job isn't easy. Working doubles, even triples can be bad for your health. Working on lack of sleep and food can be bad for your health too, and, it can alter your perception on things, including your patience. In this job you need to know your limits, your boundaries and your fears. Because if you don't, you'll have a problem with this job."
Feeling the air suddenly fill with questions, Sara smiled. "Confusion, I've been told, is the best place to be."
Answering a heap of questions as she packed away, Sara felt a sudden belonging. She didn't know if she was going to be able to complete a whole session by herself, but she had and it was very satisfying. The attention of her students was warming to her heart. They wanted to learn and they were going to her for the answers.
Once the room started to become empty, she looked up to see him sitting in the middle row. "Hey. I didn't see you there."
Grissom sat back and lifted his feet to the chair in front of him. "I was listening, in the back. I especially liked the last bit… Funny, I didn't know we'd added that to the seminar."
Sara closed her case and grabbed the box of slides, placing them in the large box. "Yeah. I know I missed some bits out, but I figured we could push them into the seminar tonight."
"Sure, it shouldn't be too difficult." He nodded to himself, mentally going through the nights seminar notes.
Walking towards the door, she hesitated, looking back at him. She knew there was probably a reason why he didn't turn up, but she didn't want to push and she didn't want to start an argument.
"Sara." He called out to her, his voice soft. He waited until she had stopped before going on. "I know this afternoon was mistake, but I don't regret it." He stated, a long pause, then a sigh. "It was wonderful, in more ways than one. I-"
She turned her head slightly to look at him. "It's ok Grissom, I understand. Wrong place and wrong time. I just want you to know, that I don't expect anything."
The eyes told all before she left the room. He had seen a sadness that was trying to work it's way into his heart, but he refused. What happened, happened. It may have been a big mistake, but it brought them both back to life and brought them both back to reality. They could now move on to a new future, one where they left the past behind.
Catching their flight back the next morning was an easy affair, except for the fact that there was a silence between them that put off the air hostesses from approaching them.
"This a protest silence?" Grissom asked as the plane journeyed into it's twenty minutes.
Sara let a small smile form as she turned her head away from the window to glance at him. "No."
Nodding, he clucked his tongue. "So?"
"I'm thinking." She told him in a hushed tone, casting her eyes back towards him.
He shrugged, looking at her. "About what?"
Smirking at him before turning serious, she leaned into the armrest that separated their seats. "Why did you stop teaching?"
"Hmm, well." He thought about it and in the end he didn't have an answer for her. "I just stopped."
Sara nodded, accepting his answer and turning back to the window. "Oh."
If he had answered, the real reason he stopped teaching was that his hearing had decreased over the years and another reason was that he had met Sara at one seminar in her first year at San Francisco. If he allowed himself, he would have taken a trip down memory lane, but chose not to. There was no place for it now.
Absently, he let his fingers run over hers of her right hand, which lay resting on her knee. When he realised what he was doing, he snatched his hand back and excused himself to the bathroom.
Sara hadn't moved her hand, because she didn't want to give the little hope she held, a chance to fade away. Before the explosion there was always a small piece of hope that he would see her as something more than a friend or co-worker, but now, she didn't want to think about it anymore. Things changed and it was definitely time to just let go.
The first night back at work was slow and while cases were pending, Sara did some personal research. She had been thinking about her job, even more so after hearing many others at the seminar telling her their answers to her unplanned question.
Somehow the question gave her the out she was looking for. A place to start. With almost two dozen answers, she knew she had her own answer to her question.
Why was she in this job? Forensics? A CSI? It was easy for her to answer now. She went to college intending on becoming a Physicist and turned into a Forensic Pathologist instead. She travelled a road she hadn't expected and it ended where it was now beginning. After coming out of hospital, she had told herself that she needed to start fresh, that the job she was in was holding nothing for her anymore.
With all that in mind, Sara started scouting for job positions in various locations. She didn't have to look far before one popped up. A local position at LVU's Forensic and Physic's Department was looking for a professor. The qualifications weren't specified, but Sara guessed that she'd have to have a teaching degree of sorts, though that didn't shun her a bit. She was willing to take the classes and earn the qualifications so she could move on with her life and start afresh.
Even if she got the job, she'd still be in Vegas, which would mean she'd be close to her friends and still in a good couple of hours driving distance from her parents. It would be perfect. She didn't need a new place to live, which saved on money and all she needed was to apply and wait. There were probably many others with better and more experience, so she wasn't going to hold her breath.
After applying to more than four applications, Sara continued working along side her friends, though she was still a little unnerved about working without her gloves or polo necks. She had shopped a week after getting back from Colorado, buying new blouses and shirts with buttons in case she had an anxiety attack at a crime scene where spectators and news reporters were hanging around. Her injuries sustained in the fire were still evident and with good reason, she just didn't feel comfortable being alone with anyone unless it was Grissom.
When time came to give in her notice, everyone was surprised, though they were more surprised she was staying in Vegas to teach. Nick and Warrick were pleased, Greg was ecstatic and Brass was happy too. Grissom on the other hand just signed the papers and handed them back to her without much of good luck or a congratulations. Though she tried not to think too much of it as she was trying to push her jumbled feelings for her, soon to be ex-supervisor, to the far reaches of her heart where she was hoping they would stay and not torment her.
Her last night at the lab finished quickly, her mind already on her new job. Nick and Greg organised a small leaving party at a small casino a short distance from the lab. Warrick and Brass chipped in and all that was left was for Grissom to show up, which, in the end, he did.
"Here's to new beginnings!" Nick grinned, holding up his drink and clashing it with Greg's, Warrick's and so on until he turned to Sara and pecked her cheek in a brotherly way. "I'm sure I speak for everyone here," He looked around the large table quickly. "We're glad you're staying in Vegas. It wouldn't be the same without you."
"Thanks guys." Sara blushed and sipped her white wine.
After more talking and drinking, Warrick led Sara to the dance floor. Being an early Friday morning, soft music filtered from the speakers. During the second dance Warrick stepped back from her and smiled.
"Mind if I cut in Warrick?" Grissom's deep voice rumbled behind her.
"Sure Griss." Warrick sauntered off the dance floor and joined Nick and Greg chatting up the waitresses.
Sara slowly slipped back into her dance partners arms, though a different man completely. She let herself feel just a bit as she absorbed the warmth of his hand as he took hers and the warmth of his body as he pulled her gently against him. Though, as soon as they started dancing, she tried to push the feelings away to save herself embarrassment.
Still dancing, quietly and timely, they moved around the small wooden floor effortlessly. It seemed like an eternity before anything happened and when it did, she felt his fingers splay over the small of her back so lightly it made her shiver against him.
"When is your first lecture?" He asked her, his voice still neutral as ever.
"Monday." She sighed, though you couldn't tell. She was staring at his hand grasping hers the entire time they danced, telling herself not to enjoy the simple touch.
"I'm going to miss you." His voice dropped to an almost whisper. When she looked up into his eyes, he spoke as though he hadn't spoken such soft words. "I talked to the dean, he assured me that your studies wouldn't interfere with your teaching." He shrugged causally at her startled look. "I know how much you like to learn."
"Thank you, but you didn't have to do that." She told him gently, trying to hide the confusion.
He shrugged again and turned them. "If you need anything, you know where I am."
Taking his offer kindly, she nodded, unconsciously leaning more against him. "I'll miss you too." She whispered after a single heartbeat.
Grissom's eyes gazed into hers as they came to a standstill in the middle of the floor. A soft and tender look was there, showing her the tinniest bit of the self he'd shared with her that night alone. As soon as the music stopped, the trance that had bestowed upon them, broke, and he slowly released her and escorted her back to the table where their friends were still teasing waitresses.
TBC