Chapter 19

When a knock at the front door startled both Grissom and Sara from the silence that had unknowingly crept upon them, both knew it was going to take more than just waiting for the other to start before anything was going to be resolved.

Sara sighed as she got to her feet and approached the front door. She checked the peephole before twisting the knob and pulling the door open. "Henry, sorry, Mr. Giles." She smiled forcefully. She wasn't in the mood for another administration talk about the science department.

"Sara," He chuckled. "You've been here how many months? Call me Henry for goodness sake."

"Right." Her smile widened. "How can I help you?"

Henry held up a file in his left hand while his right clutched his briefcase. "My top students asked me to convey a proposal to you. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to look it over?" The hot rays of the sun had broken a sweat over his brow and his brown tweed jacket that hung over his arm was lightly speckled in sand from the Vegas desert winds of the afternoon.

Sara took the offered file and chuckled. "Gee, I am popular with the students. I've already got three proposal's waiting for me to look over."

"Ah, well, that would be your teaching method's Sara. They all like you." He chuckled with a deep rumble. "You're a likable person my dear. I have many students in my class that are interested in extra credit."

Wincing at the unspoken suggestion, she sighed. "Mr Giles, I've already gone over this with the other professors. Until I get my PhD, I'm not going to stretch myself too thin. Besides," She leaned sideways against the door. "I've got to sort out some personal things before even thinking about extra classes and students. But, please, let them know that if they have questions, I'd be happy to answer them, after class. You know I give a twenty minute questioning period."

Henry nodded. "I do. And very practical it is too." He shook his jacket and swapped his briefcase to his other hand. "Well, I'll leave you to look this one over." Nodding, he turned and walked along the short path before turning and heading up to the administrators parking lot on the other side of the houses.

Pushing the door closed with a soft sigh, Sara looked back at Grissom, who was watching her with a small smile and a glint in his eye. "What?" She asked with an innocent smile as she made her way to her 'desk'.

Chuckling, glad to be given the opportunity to stray way off topic and away from what was now looking like a difficult subject to broach, from both ends. "I'm seeing you in a new light."

Scoffing quietly, she set the file on the table and pulled out her chair. "I'm seeing myself in a new light, Griss. I'm turning into one of those stuffy professors."

Barking a surprised laugh, he stood and walked over to the table to sit beside her. "Sara." He sounded offended. "Are you saying what I think you're 'hinting' at saying?"

Grinning with her head lowered as she read the first page of the proposal, she couldn't help like the sudden change. The emotional talk that was yet to come, was going to be hard on them both, but at least they could still talk, in some level of comfort.

"Sara." He demanded childishly. "I take offence to this line of thinking."

"Go ahead and take it how you like it." She looked up and chuckled. "Grissom, I was there, remember? I was one of these kids and I'd like to think that you taught me something back then on how to encourage smart kids like these."

Nodding slowly, he reached for his glasses and slipped them on. "May I?" He gestured to the similar files that were piled in a separate corner of the desk.

"Sure. Just don't expect me to get all excited about it. This is a lot more work than I can handle right now. I'm not even sure why I've been given so much when I've not even finished my teaching course, let alone my PhD." She grossed, sitting back to tie her hair up with an elastic that had been wrapped around the end of her pencil.

Clearing his throat softly, Grissom concentrated on the file he was holding.

Sara looked up and stared at him. After a minute, she dropped her pencil with a sigh. "I wanted to achieve the respect and praise from my peers and my students by myself Grissom. So please tell me you had nothing to do with any influence towards the faculty or the boss."

Flipping over the first page to read the second, he pointedly kept his nose buried. Not saying a thing.

"Grissom?" She stared at him with surprised shock. "Tell me you didn't?"

Flipping to the third page, he continued to read. Sensing her anger building, he closed his eyes and pulled his glasses off. Setting the page on the open file, he sighed.

She nodded, upset. "I see." She pushed her chair back and stood. "Great." She snapped, stiffly walking to the coffee table and collecting their glasses to wash in the sink. "And here's me thinking I actually had something as a teaching professor." She said depressingly.

Realising he'd stepped over the mark, Grissom sat back. "I didn't say, or imply you didn't, Sara." He said in a steady tone.

"No?" She questioned as she filled the sink. "Guess I've really started to slip, huh Griss? I'm obviously doing something wrong or you wouldn't have felt the need to step on my toes and basically build a reputation for me, instead of allowing me to learn from my mistakes and building it myself. Great. Thanks Grissom. Thanks a lot."

Frowning at her snapping words, he stood and entered the kitchen, careful not to get in her way or startle her. "Sara," He said softly, almost too quiet for her to hear. "I didn't do anything like that. I swear."

"Really? Because I'm now starting to question my work all of a sudden. Guess I've really lost what it was to be a CSI, because you managed to pull the wool over my eyes and I had no clue."

"Sara." He said strongly. "I would never get in your way. I swear to that. You have to believe me when I say it wasn't my intention to discredit you, in any way."

Setting the second glass and the plate from breakfast on the draining board, she sighed. Her shoulders slumped low and her hands hung over the edge, sitting in the dirty water.

"All I did was put in a few good words. That's all." He continued, pleading with her to believe him.

"Really?" She asked quietly.

"Yes." He said empathically, stepping towards her, but stopped and held himself back. He silently cursed at and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Believe me when I say, we still have a lot of things to work out, but Sara, I'd never want to see you out of work or unhappy with what you strive for. I'd never let that happen." He continued, softer still. "I'm your friend, and I'd do anything to help. And as your former boss, I wanted to give you more than a written recommendation. I wanted to express how much I was saddened that you were leaving, and going off on your own. Doctor Henry Giles is a long-time colleague and he was happy to learn that the university was acquiring such talent and drive."

"He's an entomologist Grissom. Of course he's going to think your word is gospel." Sara turned to him, wiping her hands dry on the towel that hung from the oven door.

Grissom grinned. "I doubt that. But he was the person to talk to. Henry does like to talk." He tilted his head sideways.

Smiling at the truth behind the words, she nodded. "Yeah, he does like to talk. And so do you. That was a lot of praise coming from someone like you." The smile faded. "I appreciate it."

He nodded, as serious as her. "I'm glad.

Looking down at her hands before checking the time, Sara cleared the nervousness from her throat. "It's almost dinnertime. Would you like something to eat?" She watched his confusion, then he struggle to answer, but she had been on the receiving end to that look a mass of times. This time was no different and she wasn't going to let him struggle. "No. I guess it is going to start getting late. Um…"

"Actually," He spoke up, retreating to find his jacket.

Strange as it seemed, she was saddened by the sudden feeling that gripped her stomach. She may want him to come to terms with his loss, but she couldn't help feel the gaping hole that was still present in her soul and her heart. She knew they'd have to get the whole thing out the way soon, so they could both, or at least, he could get back to his life.

"I was wondering if I could help you with you student proposals?" He asked as he lifted his jacket and shrugged it on. He looked back at her and pulled a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "And I have that complaint form."

"Right." Sara breathed out a heavy breath. For some reason, that hole was filling with bits of hope. Though she knew it wasn't going to come from anything but his kindness. Perhaps friendship was the one thing they could rebuild.

"So?" He asked, looking at her strangely.

"So?" She furrowed her brows in confusion.

Pointing at the front door as he picked up the four proposal files, he gave her a small smile. "Want to go out to eat? Talk about these? Like old times. We can go to the diner across from the lab if you'd like?"

Sara's eyebrows shot up. "Oh." She spun around looking for her jacket. "Of course. Um… Let's go." She said, grabbing her purse and stuffing it into her jacket pocket.

Forty-five minutes into one burger, one salad and two servings of coffee, the conversation about the proposals was well underway and getting into more depth, though Sara wasn't sure about accepting any of them, she was willing to listen to Grissom's ideas.

Strange as it sounded, 'listen to Grissom's ideas', it was a welcome change. A long time ago, so it felt, Sara remembered bouncing ideas and theories about cases off her former boss and was always eager to await his opinions. Mostly, while he spoke about extending her assignment criteria's and adding a few field trips, she was listening to his voice.

Casually she would glance up when his eyes were on the request forms. The little changes about him were slowly sinking into her mind. The unkept beard, that looked like it was trimmed a few days ago. Or his curling hair that needed a cut itself. Most of all, his skin was pale compared to what it once was. A slight golden tinge from the Nevada sun had been avoided and the dark rings around his eyes gave away the sleepless nights.

Anyone who knew his history, the recent events, they'd probably not notice the changes, but Sara noticed and not only because she had seen him act differently, in more ways than one, she felt it.

"… I'd think about it Sara." He pulled her attention back sharply, his eyes still on the student request. "It would be a great opportunity and it wouldn't hurt to build that reputation." His eyes lifted as hers flickered to his.

A lengthy silence surrounded them and for some reason, maybe fate, a waitress wasn't around when you needed an excuse to break the eye contact or the thick air that was making it difficult to breath.

Moving her fork that was paused over her plate, she swallowed. "I guess." She said with a slight croak. Reaching for her coffee, she took a hesitant sip. All this while her eyes were still fixed to his. Something was happening, but she couldn't read it. His eyes were a dark blue and something in them spoke to her, but she couldn't begin to grasp what that was.

Blinking, he stuttered. "I could help, if you wanted?" His right hand moved and knocked over the salt pot, only to quickly right it and grasp the corner of the file. He blinked rapidly and looked down as he straightened the papers and closed the file.

The quivering in her belly made her smile. It was suddenly too amusing to not smile. "I think I should fill in that form."

Grissom saw her smile and chuckled lightly. "Yeah." He picked up his jacket from beside him and rifled through a pocket. "I'm sorry you've been pushed to do this Sara," He apologised as he draped his jacket over the seat again and unfolded the form.

Shifting to sit up as she pushed her plate aside, Sara shook her head. "I don't have to Griss. I could just avoid a confrontation."

"That's going to be difficult if Sophia is bent out of shape trying to find something to pin on you." He looked at her as he searched for the pen he was writing notes with earlier. "I won't have one of my CSI's going on a vendetta. And I won't have her treating you like that." He looked down as he started filling out the basics. "I don't like it."

The diner door swept shut behind them as they made their way to Grissom's car. "I'll give you a ride home and then I better check on my experiments."

Sara was about to reach for the passenger door handle. "I can get a cab if it's easier?"

Grissom unlocked his door and pulled it open. "It's not."

Settling and clipping herself in, Sara glanced at Grissom as he twisted and tossed the files onto the back seat. She looked out the windscreen before looking back at him as he clipped in and turned the ignition.

"I'm glad I could talk to you about this stuff." She looked away then down at her hands, pulling at the cuffs of her jacket. "Sometimes I get this feeling that maybe I'm doing stuff wrong."

Grissom was looking at her.

She laughed and turned her head towards him. "But I guess it's just nerves of a new job and new things. I'll get used to it. It's a lot of fun really." She looked down again and smiled. "I'm enjoying myself. I didn't think I'd feel that way again about my work. About life. Not after, you know?…"

Reaching out to place his hand over hers, he gave them a light squeeze before returning it to the steering wheel. "You can talk to me about anything Sara." He released the handbrake and pulled out of the parking space.

Turning her head to look out the window, she sighed. A moment or two later, she nodded and turned back to him. "You can talk to me too Griss. About anything, anytime, ok?" She watched his eyes glance her way.

Ten minutes later, Grissom indicated and turned onto Sara's street. Indicating again he turned into her housing parking lot. He rolled to a stop in front of her house and pulled up the parking brake. His hands resting on the steering wheel were the only thing keeping him from reaching out to her.

He really needed to get a grip on his raging emotions before he said or did anything. He still wasn't sure what he wanted to say or do… well, the 'do' part was pretty obvious.

"Thanks," Sara said quietly before leaning over the console and pecking his cheek. She pulled back as his head snapped in her direction. "I'll probably see you at the lab." She shrugged, referring to Sophia's obvious obsession.

Grissom watched as she opened the door. "Sara?" Waiting until she had turned back towards him, he leaned forward and placed a light kiss against her lips. His eyes had closed at contact and he felt her breath on his chin as he moved back.

Climbing out of the car, she smiled at him and walked towards her door, fishing out her front door keys. From the open door, Sara watched the Mercedes drive away with an accelerated beating heart.

TBC