Sorry for the delay in updates. I haven't been able to log onto this website. It wasn't letting me. I finally figured out why. My computer was at error. Stupid thing.

Chapter 20

Thinking about the parting kiss was distracting her from marking the last student assignment. At least it was the last one. A distraction while still having not started would have been daunting. Forcing herself to concentrate on the last couple of pages, she sipped her tea.

Even with her mind on her work, she still couldn't stop the sudden picture of him explaining his ideas about extra credit for some of her students. As she watched him talk, with moments of animated hand gestures and small enthusiastic smiles, she could see him back in her home, helping with more ideas and proposals she was bound to receive if she went ahead with either of the four student proposals she had in her possession.

Sighing with a flick of her pen tip, she closed the smart file and dropped it onto the pile beside her. If only she could teach and not have the 'extra' paperwork to go with it, but alas, it's all part of the job. Though she didn't usually mind, much, but recent events have crept into her mind and preoccupied her.

Knowing she wasn't going to be able to not look, she searched her desk for the proposals, but was struck with panic when she couldn't locate them.

"Shit." She cursed under her breath, pushing her chair back to stand and look more thoroughly.

A sudden flashback hit her and she stopped looking. Remembering the diner and remembering that Grissom had the files in his hand, and then seeing him put them on the back seat of his car.

Grabbing her keys, she checked the time. It was just approaching two in the morning, but she knew the nightshift timetable and knew Grissom would be at work. She hoped to catch him at the lab.

Walking down the hallways of CSI, talking to Sophia about pending cases, Grissom kept looking up from his clipboard, noting what people were doing in each room as they passed. Checking for updates on evidence as he talked with barely a stop in his words.

"It's going to have to wait until seven. The Judge won't appreciate being woken up this early in the morning." He advised, turning to Bobby's lab as the young man set up for a test fire.

"Two Shots!" He announced clearly, squeezing the trigger of the .34 Colt. Nick and Warrick both waited for the ballistics' tech to retrieve the bullet for comparison as they removed their ear protectors and glasses.

Grissom looked back at his clipboard and signed something below the forms on top. He glanced behind him before moving forward, still listening to Sophia sprout an argument about wasting time.

"The suspect could leave town or destroy evidence." She said hotly. "It's imperative-"

"Look," He stopped and turned to her, tucking the clipboard under his arm and capping his pen. "Like it or not, Judges sleep too. And Brass doesn't think your suspect is a flight risk. He's scared, yes, but he's got two teenagers and a sister-in-law that depend on him, he's unlikely to skip town."

She scowled at the floor. "We don't know that."

"No, we don't. That's why we process the evidence we have and wait until morning to request a warrant. Until then, we get on with the case or move onto something else in the mean time." He advised, looking up and away. "While you're here, could you take a break in half an hour?"

Sophia turned sideways to him and nodded.

"Good. Come to my office. I have something to discuss with you." Grissom broke away from her and was about to continue on to his office when he caught sight of Sara walking towards them.

"Hey." Sara smiled easily at him, but avoided looking at Sophia for a moment before remembering she hadn't anything against the woman nor did she want there to be. "Hello Miss. Curtis." She said professionally. Might as well stay that way in case the young woman really did have something out against her.

"Sara." Sophia walked away with a final nod towards Grissom.

Moving a step closer for some semblance of privacy, he mustered a shy smile. "Couldn't keep away?"

Sara couldn't help but laugh quietly at him. "No." She grinned and rolled her eyes, leaning away from him.

It was funny how one minute they could talk and the next it would be tense, only to be able to play banter into a simple greeting. Had things changed so much in a year? Obviously they had. It was only slightly shocking that he was acting casually with her in a place he had practically ignored her for five years. He was either a changed man or he was going through a midlife crisis, and though Sara had seen evidence of the latter, she didn't think that was what was going on.

"You have my student proposals." She turned with him to let some techs and a detective pass by.

Grissom looked up and down the hallway nodding his head. "I do." He looked back at her with a questioning look. "You've changed your mind?"

Sara raised an eyebrow. "I didn't say that."

"But you're thinking about it." He stated, catching a glimpse of several techs looking their way. Reaching up his hand to grasp her elbow, he guided her in the direction she had come. "Why don't you meet me by my car in ten minutes?"

"Okay." She looked at him oddly, wondering what had brought on the question and his sudden physical contact. "You ok?"

He nodded and released her elbow once they rounded the corner of reception. "I'll be no longer than ten minutes. Office, men's room…"

"Right."

Leaning back against the wall outside the reception door that led into the CSI building, Sara had her arms crossed over her chest, her right leg pulled back to rest on the wall and her head was pointed down, her chin lowered to her chest.

This was how he found her when he stepped through the door. His professional attitude and friendly demeanour from only a few minutes ago, was gone, vanished, and in it's place was a sudden softness with an urge to just take off and go some place to talk.

Shifting to stand on both feet, Sara looked up and smiled at him. They shared a brief moment with their eyes before walking together down the three steps to the pavement and the parking lot.

Being the Head of Nightshift, Grissom headed for his designated parking spot close to the wall that cordoned off the employees and visitors parking spaces. With keys in hand and a gentle hand on her elbow, he guided Sara around the front of his car. Pressing the button on the keypad, the door locks popped up.

Taking a moment to clear his throat as he opened the rear drivers side door, Grissom glanced up at her every now and then as he reached in and down to grab the files.

Sara flinched at the sound of his voice. She was watching his hand through the drivers window and hadn't realised that everything around her had suddenly filtered away.

He shuffled back and stood up straight, the files in his hand, but oddly untidy. It was obvious that Grissom's driving hadn't been as steady as it usually was. The files had intermingled and spread across the back seats. Sara's eyes widened, and panic set in. "Oh my God." Her voice was barely there as her lungs froze. This wasn't what she needed. Her nerves were already shaken by the turn of events concerning herself and Grissom.

Swallowing and averting his eyes from her to his hand, Grissom closed the door with his elbow and moved past her to the hood of his car. Calmly laying the mess of papers on the metal, he bent and pushed the files back into some sort of order. "It's not as bad as it looks." He assured, looking up at her quickly over his glasses.

Sara rubbed her eyes and looked up at the sky. Unable to stop it, a small chuckle emanated from within him and she couldn't stop herself from sighing in frustration. The sound making her look at him, only to look up at the very dark cloudless sky once again. "Grissom." She said his name sternly.

"Sorry." He chuckled, lifting the files as one and tapping the bottom against the hood. "All fixed."

"You sure know how to get my heart racing." She grumbled, walking towards him and snatching the files. A small blush creeping across her cheeks. She resolutely checked over the files herself just so he wouldn't see her blushing like a school girl. Even after all that's happened and all that's about to happen, she couldn't deny that he was still close to her heart and that he made her smile.

Pushing his glasses back up his nose where gravity had tried to slip them off, his eyes were watching the shadows formed by the parking lot lights, flicker across her face. "Ditto." He murmured deeply.

Sara raised her eyes from her inspection of the files. Nothing seemed to happen for what seemed like an eternity. It wasn't the first time either of them had been caught in a moment. Sharing the silence and sharing a quiet gaze that could mean so many things. The spell was broken with Grissom's watch chiming the half hour. He blinked but didn't move. With his feet planted, he waited. For what? He didn't really know.

Confusion, a tirade of feelings and thoughts racing through his mind, making him dizzy with even the simplest moment alone with her. With anger still lingering, he knew things were going to get messy before either of them found some type of peace with each other and everything around them. Even though he still felt something for Sara, he was struck at the pull he felt when near her.

Knowing Catherine a lot longer hadn't dispelled the fact that he did in fact fall under the charms of the college student of so long ago. The mentor he was to her was just another excuse to be close to her. Someone to lean on and talk to. He hadn't factored in falling for her so hard and telling himself he hadn't panicked, but was going through a midlife crisis, he moved on and looked for a fresh start. Not realising he could love two, but also use both as a shield to protect his feelings from one and hide with another.

With time to think about such things over the last year, Grissom had come to the conclusion that he did still love Sara and even sleeping with her in Colorado didn't shake those feelings. They only made them become alive. It wasn't that he didn't love Catherine. He did. He had loved her. Pursued her and planned a life with her. Taking in Lindsey was a little difficult as he wasn't one for knowing what to do with a child, but they grew on each other. He knew he would never abandon her and he had promised not to move away so he could visit.

But the truth of the moment was, he loved Sara and he didn't know how to go about it. She was going through stuff he wanted to make go away. She still blamed herself for what happened and deep down, perhaps not so deep, he blamed and was angry with her.

True confusion. To be in love with someone and blame them for something was a confusion that had kept him awake many nights.

With nothing but a shouting match in the midst of their new found friendship, he wasn't really surprised or unwilling, when he stared into her brown eyes, darkened by the time of the night and the lack of parking lot lamps, of the struggle she was battling. He could see a war he was still plagued by, but she was braver than he.

Stepping forward, Sara placed her left hand on his chest, applying slight pressure as she leaned closer. In the darkness, brown and blue eyes locked and closed almost at the same time as lips met.

Chaste, but soft and firm, lips barely moved against the other. Little motions that allowed one set of lips to brush over the other, was returned in much the same way, both hesitate and both restraining an urge to rush in and vandalise this precious moment, or milestone, depending on how you looked at it.

A short circuit someplace made it difficult to speak in a coherent sentence, but somehow he managed. "Can… can we do this again… sometime?" His breath warmed her lips. Anguish of arguments and emotional wars gave way to something tender and sweet.

"Which?" She questioned, their proximity warming her soul. "Standing by your car or-"

"The kissing." He huskily finished her sentence, his eyes now open and wild. The mere thought of seeing her got his heart pumping, whereas the thought of touching her was close to proving human combustion. All of which still confused him greatly. A warring of emotions was strong within and was also bound to be the destroyer eventually. But neither had stopped part him from enjoying the moment a while longer.

Milking the moment for all it's worth, Sara's eyes were bright, oblivious to what the future held or what his part in it would be. "I was going to say, talking. Standing by your car or talking." She shrugged at his slow blink.

He breathed out shakily. "Funny." Leaning forward at her tug on his shirt, he immediately realised her fingers had formed a fist, and enclosed in her fist was a wad of his button shirt. No matter what had happened before this moment, it was all forgotten in the whirlwind of a kiss.

This kiss was different. Not your full on passion wielding kiss, but something innocent and clearly heart stopping. With lips barely parted, lip gloss from her lips melded gently against the moist lips of his in a silent meeting of souls, where a number of consequences or paths, were divided, waiting for them to take a step on one of those paths and create a future. Good or Bad? Long or Short? It was now completely up to them.

Taking a moment to breathe, Grissom pressed his forehead against Sara's. "I have to go back to work." He regretted breaking the incredible moment they were sharing, but he just remembered he had asked to speak with Sophia. Hating to even break away from the comfort of her body resting lightly against his, he sighed pitifully. "I should go."

Sara rolled her forehead from side to side against his, her eyes closed with her hand still clutched to his shirt. Both not noticing the meaning of the controlled grip she had. "We still need to talk. A serious talk we're both not going to like." She reminded him, her eyes opening to look into his, watching the shadow of evasion pass over them. "Gil, we need to talk."

He closed his eyes in defeat and nodded. "I know. And we will."

"Today?" She relaxed her hand and smoothed the fabric beneath. Sara noticed just how much she had controlled the moment. The hold she had on him prevented him from moving in or away. "I've been marking all night, but after my morning class?"

Swallowing hard, he shook his head, the held back emotions now falling back into place. "No. I Can't. I have a meeting with Ecklie and the Sheriff."

Seeing only evasion and possibly a lie, she didn't stop. "What time do you think-"

"I can't be sure on when we'll be finished." He talked over her, instantly putting some distance between them, having forgotten that only a few minutes ago he was willing to talk to her about everything.

"Before work?" She frowned when he only shook his head and looked down at his feet. "After work maybe?" Still getting no response, Sara grew angry, but knowing she didn't really have the right to. She knew she shouldn't push him, but reason gave way to hurt. "What about never?" She nodded stiffly. "Never sounds about right. Goodnight Grissom."

"Sara." He called out to her when she walked away.

Trying to calm down, she stopped. "I can't do this without you Grissom." She turned to find him closing the distance she had made between them. They were now standing at the rear of Grissom's car, stood in the lamplight. "As much as I want to believe I'm not responsible… I can't do this alone…" She took heavy breathes, trying to hold back the emotions and the tears.

Not stopping until he had her in his arms, Grissom held her as he spoke. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." He took a shaky breath before speaking again. "With everything still so close to the surface… the feelings and the hurt, I just want to hide. If I hide it'll go away, but it's not. I'm scared too Sara. And I know that when we do talk, things are going to be said and it feels that when it happens, I'm going to lose you before I have you."

"I'm sorry." She whispered against his shoulder. "God, I wish I could make it like none of this happened. I really wish I hadn't shown up for work that night." Her voice broke.

Running his hands over her back, he pressed his cheek against hers. "We'll talk. I promise."

"When?" She hiccupped.

"Soon."

Sighing in acceptance of his answer, Sara wiped her face with her hand before pulling away. Blinking back more tears, she brushed the pad of her thumb against Grissom's cheek where a tear had escaped. His fingers closed around hers and his lips pressed against her palm.

A path had been taken, but not the easy one. With still much to talk about and emotions to overcome, both Grissom and Sara still had a long road to recovery.