The Golden Reviewer Star to Serpent's Mask for realizing that Kit's OOCness was completely intentional, a result of the information he has discovered and a cover for the utter turmult he is going through. I must admit I've felt like I've completely failed in Kit's role, as I read review after review telling me Kit took the news too easily. I'd hoped you'd see he was lying through his teeth—well, not lying, perhaps, but completely faking the calm, a facade that Nita should have seen through had she been focusing at all on Kit, had she not been too caught up in herself.Then after Mere saidKit had never talked like that, I wanted to weep. Of course he had never talked like that, and he was only talking like that now because he was processing an enormous amount of information and trying to confront his best friend without snapping or breaking down. I was trying to be subtle, but it obviously didn't work. If I rewrite this, I will try to be more explicit with Kit's reactions. But again, kudos to my perceptive readers.
Her confession sat between them like a poisonous viper, coiled innocently after a strike. The two words echoed throughout Kit's head, leaving him with only one clear, coherent thought:
It's time like this I wish I drank.
He'd never favored alcohol, looked with disdain at those who hid from their problems rather than face them, but this was one situation he would gladly drown in a fifth of whiskey. A drunken stupor to forget the symbol, to imagine those two words as the result of some drug-induced hallucination, because he could far more readily believe that he was in a drug-induced hallucination than believe the words that had just come spilling out of her mouth.
A full five minutes passed without a sound.
Nita lifted her tear-streaked face. "Say something. Please. Yell at me, rant and scream, throw insults—I don't care. But don't just stare at me like I'm some sort of—"
"Tell me you're lying," Kit cut in, clenching his hands into fists to keep them from shaking. "Tell me that this symbol allows you to lie without consequence to protect your lover's identity. Tell me—"
She shook her head slowly, and Kit's heart crashed through the floor. He turned away, unable to look at her as he formulated his thoughts.
"It's not as bad as it seems." Nita twisted her hands, not quite daring to look Kit in the face. "In Brandon, He's really quite a nice guy, after you get beyond the condescending sarcasm, and—"
Kit let out a strangled sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "Quite a nice guy? Damn it, Nita, He's the enemy."
"I know, Kit, but–but we've moved beyond our roles in the universe," Nita said, her voice unnaturally even. "We know we may face each other in battle someday and that we'll be opposite sides of the fight, but we're both okay with that. We've stopped trying to convince the other side of our side's merit. It's no longer an issue when we're together."
"That's because He knows He's already won," Kit spat, fighting the nausea that her rehearsed spiel was causing him.
"What?"she bristled, drawing back defensively.
"Oh, come on, Nita. We both know you'd never sacrifice someone you loved if you there was any way to avoid it. You would die trying to save someone else; you'd never destroy them yourself."
"I don't love Him," Nita insisted, relieved to finally say something completely honest, finally a phrase that did not involve lying to Kit or to herself. Kit merely raised his eyebrows. "Really, there's no love. It's not about love. Just sex."
"God, Nita," he winced, hitting his forehead with his hand.
"You don't understand. You've never been...intimately involved with anyone, especially someone like Brandon. He's so amazing; it's so amazing—"
"I can't listen to this," Kit shuddered, resuming his pacing."We've got to get you out of this. We've got to get you away from Him."
Nita reared up, furious. "What the hell do you mean by that?"
"We've got to get you away from Him," Kit repeated. "Somehow, He's got you infatuated with this Brandon character of His, and—"
"Haven't you heard what I've been saying?" They stood nose to nose. "I don't want to 'get away' from Him."
"But if you spend some time away, maybe we can overcome this power He has over you and—"
"'We' aren't doing anything. This isn't about 'we'—this is about me. He has no power over me; everything has been of my own free will."
"I know that's what you think, but—"
"I'm not a damsel in distress, Kit, and you sure as hell aren't my knight in shining armor. I don't need saving. I don't need rescuing." Kit took a step back as she advanced. "I need you to leave me damn well alone and keep your busybody sleuthing shit out of my life."
The barbs pierced his skin like the thorns of some angry briar. "Your life?" Kit drew in a shaky breath, then proceeded with more force. "Your life? When did you become such a self-centered bitch, Nita? This isn't about you—this isn't even about us. This is about the universe. This is about entropy. This is about protecting the world from the evils He has turned on it. Does the Oath mean nothing to you anymore? Just–just throw everything for some fleeting physical pleasure, with no thought to all the people He as made die, all the families He has destroyed, all the worlds He had ruined, all the pain and destruction He has wrought? Damn it, Nita, do you not even care?"
Nita rubbed her temples. How to make him understand? "He didn't cause entropy, Kit. It just is. Don't you see? All the evils in the world are not His fault. He invented death, yes, but as a release, as a relief. What would life be like without death, Kit? How would the universe maintain all that life without some sort of cycle of renewal? We aren't fighting Him, Kit; we're fighting to preserve the energy the world has left—something He tried to do by introducing death. We've only been getting a one-sided view of life's history. There could be no life without death."
"Yeah, He's just a great guy." Kit nearly wept as His words spilled from his best friend's mouth. "You're so wrapped up in Him, you don't even realize what you're doing, what He's done. How He's manipulated you."
"No, Kit. You don't see. You don't see that we're really on the same side. If the other Powers would stop stubbornly refusing Him, They could work together to—"
"Listen to yourself, Nita! Have you heard the arguments you're using? I don't know what backwoods, half-ass logic you've discovered, but—"
"Kit—"
"You can't simultaneously fight and fuck the Lone Powerཀ"
Her right hand rose, and for a moment he thought she was going to strike him. "I know what I'm doing, Kit," she said, voice shaking with intensity and unshed tears.
"I sure hope so, Nita. Powers, I hope so." He looked at her for one long moment, then turned and strode away.