"I'm a marriage counselor, not a theologian," said Mr. Powers calmly. "I'm not qualified to say which of you is right when it comes to questions of religion. However, I personally believe that wanting to be right is more important than being right. Valerie, do you believe Mel wants to be right, or do you think he deliberately wants to be wrong?"
"I…think he wants to be right," replied the duck woman without looking up at her husband.
"What do you think, Mel? Does Valerie want to be right, or does she want to be wrong?"
"Same answer," said Mr. Cooper gruffly.
"There you have it," said Mr. Powers with satisfaction. "You both want to be right, yet you disagree. Which means that somewhere between what you believe, Mel, and what you believe, Valerie, lies the truth." He glanced at the wall clock. "It's been a wonderful session. We made substantial progress today."
"Before we go," Mrs. Cooper spoke up, "I just want to tell you…I know how you and your wife must feel. When Odette was kidnapped it was so painful for us. It's painful just to remember."
"Thanks for the sentiments," said Mr. Powers. "I have confidence Alan will show up."
As Mrs. Cooper stepped out of the office, her husband leaned over and muttered to her, "He seems unusually unconcerned."
----
Arthur and D.W. returned after a day of schooling to find their parents hard at work. Mr. Read was busily adding a border of frosting to a 50th birthday cake, while Mrs. Read, she of the slightly protruding belly, was dusting the piano.
"How was school, kids?" she called out.
"Crazy," Arthur answered. "Sue Ellen disappeared during first period."
"Very strange," his mother remarked. "April disappeared at about the same time."
"Something really creepy's going on," said Arthur, removing his pack.
"Pretty soon all your friends will be gone," said D.W. "Then you'll have nobody to play with but me. We'll have so much fun together."
"What if I disappear too?"
"Don't even think about it."
"There is some good news," Mr. Read announced. "Mrs. Chanel approached me about a catering contract."
"Great!" Arthur gushed. "Now I'm student body president, and we're rich."
"Not exactly," said his father. "But the extra income means we may not have to move. And that's not all." He tickled D.W.'s chin. "We'll be able to afford the piano lessons you've always wanted."
D.W. became serious. "I've always wanted piano lessons?"
"Don't you want to learn to play the piano like your brother?" said her father with glee.
"No," answered D.W., shaking her head vigorously. "I'd rather play something that annoys Arthur. Like the accordion."
"How about singing lessons?" Arthur suggested. "You can become a great singer, like Justin Timberlake."
"No way," D.W. retorted. "I'd have to take singing lessons for fifty hundred years to be as good as Justin Timberlake."
"You'll take piano lessons, and you'll like piano lessons," said Mr. Read, although he left out the "you'll take piano lessons" part. "And you'll have the best piano teacher in the world—Dr. Frederick Fugue."
"Oh, you'll love Dr. Fugue," said Arthur facetiously. "He always has fresh cookies. Just watch out for his knitting needles."
"I hate Dr. Feud," D.W. grumbled.
As Arthur was about to sit down for a bout of TV watching, he noticed something peculiar. "Why are there two dogs in here?" he demanded to know.
"Buster's puppy is staying with us," his mother explained. A pair of yellow dogs, one very small, lay at his feet and stared lazily at his pants.
"I've got Pal," Arthur protested. "I don't need another dog."
"She's not your dog."
Unbeknownst to him, Pal and his baby sister Amazon Puppy were engaged in a conversation.
"I miss the kid with the big ears," Amazon Puppy whined.
"I hope they find him soon," said Pal, who was barely hiding his jealously over another dog being present in his house. (His motto was, "Thou shalt have no other dogs before me.")
"I like him," said Amazon wistfully. "But he's kinda clumsy. He broke me."
"What do you mean, he broke you?"
"I dunno. But he had to take me to the vet to get fixed."
On the TV screen, the members of the Bunny League were locked in grim combat with winged alien warriors. As they cleared a path through the invading hordes to the leader, they were shocked to discover that it was none other than their friend and teammate, Hawk Bunny.
"How could you betray us?" said Bionic Bunny mournfully. "How could you betray Earth?"
"Don't sweat it," Hawk Bunny responded. "It's only until I find out that they really intend to blow up the planet, and then I'll switch sides again."
The phone rang. "Arthur, it's for you."
When he answered, he heard Francine's voice.
"Get over to Mrs. Krantz' house right away. Sue Ellen and April are back, and they say they know where Buster is."
----
"Yes, we know where he is," said April smugly, "but it's a secret."
Sue Ellen was equally tight-lipped. No one present was pleased with the girls' responses, except for Mrs. Krantz, who was so delighted at the return of her adopted daughters that she would have kept smiling through a tsunami.
"Come on, you can tell us," Arthur goaded them. "It's not like we won't believe you."
"Two weeks ago I turned into a rock," said Francine. "What could be weirder than that?"
"What about Alan?" Muffy inquired. "And Prunella? And the triplets? Do you know where they are?"
"Alan and Prunella are fine," Sue Ellen told them. "As for the triplets, I wouldn't count on seeing them again."
"We'll tell you everything once Buster comes back," said April. "With any luck, that'll be tomorrow."
"You're always keeping secrets from us," Fern chided her. "I don't like it."
"I don't either. But this one's a doozy."
----
Tuesday morning arrived. It would be an exciting, fateful day.
"Let's go, girls," said Mrs. Krantz, who was holding open the door to her convertible. "You'll be late for school, and I'll be late for teaching."
"Just a minute, Mom," said Sue Ellen, who stood motionlessly in the yard, a book bag slung over her shoulder.
"I wonder how much longer we'll have to call her Mom," April whispered to her.
"What are you trying to do, take root?" said the moose woman impatiently.
There was a brief flash of light, and the cat girls were gone.
Mrs. Krantz groaned. "Here we go again…"
In Bernie's living room, the bold adventurers Alan, Tegan, and Prunella assumed statue-like poses and waited for the rapture. Tegan wore slacks and a cotton sweater which helped to hide her female characteristics. The only feature that might identify her as a girl was the barette on her head. The others were casually dressed.
"Do you still remember what happened yesterday?" she asked Prunella.
"No, I forgot it all when I washed my hair," the rat girl joked. "Of course, duh."
"If the operation is a success," said Tegan, "you won't need me anymore. You'll be able to go home."
"I won't have to hang around these criminal types anymore," Prunella remarked. "Neither will Alan."
"Do these pants make my butt look big?" Tegan worried.
"That's something a girl would say," Alan quipped.
In an instant they were standing on the transporter pad, face to face with Sue Ellen, April, and the friendly alien T'l'p'g'r.
"The portal will open in one Earth hour," the sphere-head informed them. "It will lead to the transportation hub nearest the Belnap mansion. Luck is a concept foreign to us Thrags, but I wish you luck nonetheless."
"Thanks, T'l'p'g'r," said Tegan, priding herself on the correct pronunciation of the name. Lowering her pitch, she added, "What do you think? Will I pass as a boy?"
"If you're lucky."
Prunella stepped forward. "I'm ready for the operation."
"Follow me," said the alien.
The rat girl walked confidently and without fear, thanks to the anti-anxiety mind-merge sessions she had enjoyed with Tegan.
The brave quartet began to deliberate over the upcoming quest. "Sue Ellen and I are now fluent Yordilian speakers," said April, "though we should do our best to keep that fact hidden."
"This is the toughest thing I've ever done," Alan fretted. "I'm about to enter a totally different world. How should I act?"
"Like someone who just entered a totally different world," said Sue Ellen.
"The important thing is to make it look like you don't know what you're doing or where you're going," said Tegan.
An hour passed, and T'l'p'g'r returned. "The surgery has commenced," he told them. "Do not fear for your friend. Our medical technology is thousands of years beyond that of Earth."
"Is that thousands of years ahead, or thousands of years behind?" Sue Ellen asked.
The sphere-head seemed to glare at him.
"Just asking."
"As if saving Buster isn't hard enough," said Alan, "I have to think about Prunella on the operating table, with alien surgeons cutting into her brain."
"Maybe they'll make improvements," said April.
"Come with me," said T'l'p'g'r. "It is time to begin your mission."
----
to be continued