All of these characters belong to ITV. All of the contents of this is purely fictional. I would appreciate it if no one sues me.
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Smithy walked through into the station's reception and ignored JT as he tried to catch his attention. He didn't want to think about her, but he couldn't help it, and so he shut everything out. Sitting down at his desk he finally allowed Louise to enter his mind fully. She was just so beautiful. He knew it was wrong, but his heart called out for her, not anyone else. He didn't want anyone else. She was just a woman, he told himself, but he knew that wasn't completely true and he couldn't deny it to himself. She wasn't just a woman; she was Louise. She made him feel things he had never felt before. Another lie. He had felt it before, with Kerry. But thinking of Kerry meant pain. Pain was something he couldn't deal with right now, he had enough on his mind with Louise and their affair.
That's what it was, plain and simple. An affair. Sure, it wasn't the brightest thing he'd ever done, but he was instantly attracted to her and he hadn't been able to stop himself. And yes, now things were far from simple, but he knew she felt it too. Wasn't it true that every time she saw him her eyes became a little brighter? Or her heart raced each time they kissed? Or was that just his imagination, or his wishful thinking that perhaps she might just feel the same way he did. The thing that scared him was that he thought he'd fallen in love with her. He hadn't intended on it happening, but it had and he couldn't undo it now. He couldn't take back and erase his feelings. Maybe if he had that option, he might just have done it, but he didn't and he had to deal with that, whatever the consequences. So, yes, she was married, but wasn't it worth the risk if he did love her? There was always that small chance that she loved him back and that was enough to push him forwards.
Twenty minutes later he found himself outside her house, knocking on the door. Not once did he stop to consider the fact that her husband might be home. She opened the door with a neutral look and for a second he saw a smile flash across her face, but she concealed it.
"Smithy," she started, stepping aside to let him in.
"I wanted to see you; I was just sitting there thinking about you. I had to come by," he confessed without even realising what he was saying. He looked at her nervously, which was rare, before he stared at the floor. He never felt nervous, not even around her, but he did now. He felt nervous right until the moment she tipped his head up with the tips of her fingers and he stared into her eyes. At that moment clarity washed over him and he found her lips with his own, hungrily tasting her. Gently he caressed the back of her neck, hoping beyond hope that what he felt from her was more than just lust, but love. At that moment he didn't care though, she was in his arms and that was all that mattered. She was his, if only for the moment, and he was glad to make the most of it. She pushed him roughly against the wall and continued kissing him passionately, her hands running up and down the small of his back.
It was over quicker than it had begun; she pulled away from him and walked into the kitchen, leaving a trail of longing behind her. Smithy followed her out and slipped his arms around her waist, her slender figure comfortable in his embrace. He could smell her familiar perfume mixed with the same shampoo she had used for as long as he had known her. She twisted around in his arms to face him and looked up at him, her eyes quizzical with that constant hint of mischief. He loved her eyes; there was always something exciting and interesting dancing around inside of them. They filled him with life and love whenever he looked into them.
"I don't know what it is you're looking for Sergeant Smith, but I haven't got it."
"Come on Louise. I want you," he told her, putting his arm behind her and playing with her hair.
"You didn't come here just to be with me. There's something else."
For a few moments he said nothing, he just closed his eyes, hoping he could melt into the background. When he opened them again she was still there in front of him, her eyes now free of any niceties. It was amazing how quickly she could change. It was impossible to tell with her what mood she would be in the next second, it was both something he loved and loathed about her. Her impenetrable stare continued until he decided against keeping quiet completely.
"I just heard something, that's all," he admitted, walking over to the other side of the kitchen.
"Oh, really?" she asked, smirking slightly, "you'll have to do better than that. It's not like you to keep anything quiet Smithy."
"And you pretend like you don't know. You know full well what I'm talking about."
"Do I?" She questioned, still staring at him.
"You know far more about what Pete gets up to than you let on."
"How dare you!" She whispered, her voice laced with bitter undertones.
"But it all makes sense now, doesn't it?" He asked, stepping toward her. She went to question him but he continued before she had the chance, "You only slept with me to get me on your side. I'm hardly going to suspect you if you're sleeping with me am I? Was that the whole plan? To sleep with as many officers as possible, or was it just me?" He stared at her, as she shook with anger. "You're nothing but a dirty slut."
Instantly her arms were flying at him at an alarming rate, hitting him randomly in pure unfettered emotion as the tears brimmed in her eyes. He could neither tell whether they were tears of anger or of upset, but he didn't have the opportunity to consider it. He managed to grab both of her hands and he held them down in his strong grip. They stared at each other for a few minutes; a few tears rolling down her cheeks, having escaped the entrapment of her eyes.
The sexual tension between them became too much for either of them to bear and they were together again, kissing ferociously. This time it was he who pulled away, turned his back and left the house, barely muttering a final goodbye.
It was fairly cold outside and so he hurried back to the station and gratefully accepted a tea when he got there. Still, he had so much on his mind, but it was something fairly different now- how had he allowed himself to be used? He was ashamed even to admit it to himself but that's what had happened, she had used him for her own personal gain. Never were they truly doing wrong to her husband and his dealings, but they were actually aiding it.
Gina walked up beside him, as he approached his desk, and held him back.
"Are you alright Smithy?" She questioned, seeing the pain all over his face, from his saddened green eyes to his slightly down-turned lips.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he told her, barely looking at her. All the signs of hurting were instantly erased from his face. She considered pursuing it but she knew it would be unfair to; he had never forced her to pursue everything with the cancer and the chemotherapy. Now that she had gotten over the cancer she felt the need to revert back to her usual strong self, and Smithy looked hurt. At the same time as wanting to help him she knew he was probably just the same as her.
"Can I go now?" he asked, pulling away from her and going to sit down. She nodded and left him alone, thinking it was probably best that way.
Being alone, however, meant that he had to think about things. It was pretty quiet at the station and he had little to do, and so all he could think of was Louise. Their romance had been so short, so meaningless, and yet he had liked it. He had loved it, or was it just that he had loved her, despite who she was or what she could possibly be involved in?