Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Title: To Babysit the Weasleys
Rating: T (PG-13)
Genre: Humor/Angst
Summary: Due to a backfire when Harry attempts to put a charm on the "dying" Hedwig to make her younger, the Weasleys become children! With Molly and Arthur away on Order business, Harry and Hermione have to babysit three-year-old Ginny, four-year-old Ron and the six-year-old twins for the last week of the summer! The problem only increases when they return to Hogwarts and Madam Pomfrey can't do anything. How will they survive?
Notes: I know Harry and Ginny aren't seeing each other anymore, but I am in denial, so in this fic they are together (before Ginny turns into a three-year-old) because they're soul-mates. This is AU - it takes place before the sixth book came out, so anything can happen. I've thought long and hard about whether this should be canon sixth year, AU sixth year or seventh year, and decided on AU sixth year because it makes the most sense to me, especially at 10:45 at night.
"Hermione," said Harry seriously, sitting down on her bed, "I think something's wrong with Hedwig."
Hermione was in the room she shared with Ginny, the latter asleep on her own bed. The brunette looked up from Witch Weekly. "What makes you say that?"
"She's sort of wheezing and doesn't look very good, and I don't know what it could be," replied Harry. "I'm really worried. She's been like that since yesterday."
The two of them were staying at the Burrow. Molly and Arthur had left the previous day on a mission for the Order, and Bill and Fleur had left for their honeymoon in the morning. Ginny was quite glad to be rid of Phlegm. Ron and the twins were playing Quidditch outside, as the twins had taken the week Molly and Arthur were going to be away off so they could "babysit" Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione before they returned to Hogwarts.
"I'm sure it's nothing, Harry," said Hermione comfortingly. "She's not very old."
"Hermione, she's almost eight years old! Is that old for an owl?"
"I'm not sure," replied Hermione calmly. "But I'm pretty sure she's fine."
Harry nodded, unconvinced, and walked out of the room. Hedwig was indeed wheezing, and Pigwidgeon twittering madly. Harry was sharing a room with Ron again, not that he minded.
"Be quiet, Pig," he muttered, taking Hedwig from her cage. She hooted softly. "Hedwig, you'll be okay. I promise."
The back door banged open and then closed as Ron, Fred and George came back into the house, Ron and Fred arguing loudly about who won the match and George finishing Ron's sentences with crude words that didn't exactly flatter Ron.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU GREAT PRAT?" Ron finally yelled at George's grinning face. Both twins burst into laughter.
"Hey," Harry said, coming into the kitchen with Hedwig wearily sitting on one arm, "anyone fancy a trip to Diagon Alley? I need to get Hedwig checked."
"She doesn't look too good," commented Ron, angrily shoving George off his shoulder as the latter collapsed on it, still laughing.
"I know," said Harry, stroking her.
"All right," said Fred, taking deep breaths as he and his twin tried to stop laughing. "Okay. We'll go to Diagon Alley." He sucked in another deep breath. "OY!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Two shrill screams sounded from upstairs and ten seconds later, a startled Hermione and a bedraggled Ginny were in the kitchen.
"Heavens above, Fred, you might have walked up the stairs!" snapped Hermione. Fred grinned in response.
"We're going to Diagon Alley," he said, otherwise ignoring Hermione's reprimand.
"What - now?" asked Harry, slightly surprised.
"What's the point in waiting?" asked George, spreading his fingers, his palms facing up. "We've got nothing else to do."
"True..."
Harry quickly explained to the bleary-eyed Ginny about Hedwig before they left. And with the twins' logic being their only reason to go at that very moment, the six teenagers Floo powdered themselves to Diagon Alley.
"Okay, Eeylops?" asked George, cocking an eyebrow at Harry. The raven-haired boy nodded and the group headed for the Owl Emporium.
"Oh, hello, Ginny!" exclaimed the witch behind the counter.
"Hi, Mrs. Fields," replied the redhead, grinning. Ginny had a part-time summer job at Eeylops, and would continue working there after she graduated until she found a permanent job.
"What can I do for you?" Mrs. Fields asked. Harry held up his arm, on which sat the beautiful white owl.
"My owl - she's been wheezing and sort of feeble," said Harry worriedly.
The brown-haired witch tool Hedwig off Harry's arm and examined her. "How old is she?"
"Almost eight," replied Harry.
"When did you notice this?"
"Yesterday?"
"Any signs of sickness before then?"
"No."
As Fields continued to interrogate Harry, the rest of them fanned out around the store. Ginny asked if she could watch as she examined Hedwig in the back room. Mrs. Fields agreeably... well, agreed, and the two walked into the back room. Determined to find out what was wrong with Hedwig, Harry decided a little eavesdropping was in store. Being discreet, so the others wouldn't notice, he pretended to be interested in the Crups outside the door to the back room and managed to catch Ginny and the staff witch in mid-conversation.
"She's really old - is she going to be okay?" asked Ginny's voice.
"No, not this one. I give her a week, poor thing."
Harry's stomach clenched. A week?
"He's going to be devastated," said Ginny's voice sadly. "Look how much he loves her."
"Yes, it is a pity. But he'll understand that all creatures have their time. And it's this poor old owl's time."
Not Hedwig's time, Harry swore to himself. I'll fix her even if that witch won't! He stalked away, fists clenched, and forced himself to pet a small cat with enormous ears.
"Here," said Mrs. Fields to Ginny, handing her the ancient, tawny owl. "Put her back with her mate, they'll want to enjoy their last week together. He knows it's coming, Sulfur does. Now, your friend's owl has a cold. Tell him to give her this-" she handed Ginny a box of Owl-B-Better "-every morning and night, nine o'clock sharp both times, for a week."
"Thanks!" said Ginny cheerfully, handing over two Sickles and pocketing the box. "I'll ask him to pay me back later. Boy is Harry going to be relieved when he realizes Hedwig is okay!"
Ginny all but skipped out of the room with the owl on her shoulder, glad that Hedwig would be all right.
"So is Hedwig okay?" asked Hermione. Ginny nodded.
"All Harry has to is give her Owl-B-Better at nine in the morning and at night every day for a week," she said. "I bought it for him, he can pay me back later."
Hermione smiled. "I told him it was nothing."
"This one poor owl though," began Ginny. "She's ancient. She's only got about a week to live, and her mate can sense it, poor things."
"That's horrible," agreed Hermione. She poked her finger into the Crups' cage.
Ginny smiled as Hermione turned around to play with the Crups. The former was about to walk over to Harry and give him the box of Owl-B-Better, when a large cage hanging from the ceiling chose to fall at that moment - right on Ginny's head. She fell to the floor, the cage rolling aside.
"GINNY!" everyone screamed, rushing to the redhead's side. She sat up blearily, rubbing her head, with no memory of the box of Owl-B-Better in her back pocket.
"Are you okay?" asked Fred and George together.
"Yeah... my head hurts... but I'm okay," she said, standing up. "C'mon... let's go home..."
Hedwig feebly flew onto Harry's shoulder as their companions Floo-ed back to the Burrow, Harry going before the twins, who went last. As soon as he and Hedwig were in the kitchen, he hurried upstairs to Ron's room, where his new Charms textbook was.
"Y... Y... come on... Y... young? Youth? Here we go!"
The incantation to make someone younger was fontani hina. Several pairs of feet were heading up the stairs, so Harry quickly uttered, "Fountani hina!", all the while pointing his wand at his beloved owl. A shriek from Hermione sounded from the second landing, a few levels below Ron's room. Harry jumped and quickly recovered, stroking Hedwig. She wheezed.
"No!" moaned Harry. "No! It didn't work!"
Now the feet were coming to a stop outside Ron's attic bedroom. A wild-eyed Hermione flung open the door and ran in, a tiny red-haired girl on her hip. Three more little redheads - boys - were staring into the room, confused. All four had on very baggy clothing that looked about ninety sizes too big.
"HARRY! OH MY GOD! WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM!"
"Cool it, Hermione!" he exclaimed, shaking her shoulders. "We've got several, apparently."
"I - RON - GINNY - GRED - FORGE-"
"I think you mean Fred and George," corrected Harry.
"That's us," grinned two of the red haired boys from the doorway at the same time. They were both on the stocky side, only a couple or so inches taller than the other red haired boy.
"I don't know what happened!" moaned Hermione. "We were heading upstairs to talk to you and... they started shrinking!"
All four little redheads were confused by this.
"Great, this on top of Hedwig dying," muttered Harry. Hermione blinked.
"Hedwig isn't dying, Harry," she said.
"Yes she is," moaned Harry. "The youth spell didn't work and that Fields woman said she's only got about a week and she and Ginny said Hedwig was ancient and that I would be heartbroken and-"
"They were talking about an old, old owl and her mate, Harry," said Hermione perfectly calmly. "Now tell me... what youth spell?"
"I..." Harry reddened. "I thought Hedwig was dying of old age... so I cast a spell on her to make her younger... and it didn't work."
"Was the spell fontani hina?" asked Hermione.
"Yes," replied the boy who lived.
"And did you say it the way I just did?"
"No, I mispronounced it, I guess. I said the 'fon' like the beginning of 'fountain.'"
Hermione nodded, still unnervingly calm. "I see. Go get your Charms book, please."
Miffed, Harry did so. It was still open to the page he had found fontani hina on.
"Right, listen here... 'To use fontani hina, state the age you wish your intended victim to be, and then flick your wand upwards in the general direction of your intended victim. If mispronounced in any way, fontani hina will cause all persons within a one-mile radius to become exactly twelve years younger than they currently should be. Someone whose name begins with an 'H' will not be turned younger, for reasons still unknown. If this happens, there is no counter curse to restore the victims to their normal ages. Therefore, fontani hina is not used in school curriculum. This charm will not work on animals - see page 864 for animal youth charms." Hermione calmly closed the book. She set Ginny on Ron's bed. And then she started screaming bloody murder. "HARRY JAMES POTTER! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WE CAN'T TAKE CARE OF FOUR KIDS! WE CAN'T WRITE TO MR. AND MRS. WEASLEY FOR HELP! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? WE START HOGWARTS AGAIN IN A WEEK! A WEEK, HARRY! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"
At hearing her shrill cries, Ginny burst into tears. George ran into the room and crossed his arms, closely followed by his twin.
"You made our sister cry," Fred said angrily.
George kicked her solidly into the shin, adding to Hermione's hysteria. Ron giggled. Harry grabbed Hermione's shoulders and forced her onto Ron's bed, holding her there until her breathing became normal again.
"I'm sorry for blowing up," she said, calm again.
"Who are you?" asked Fred suspiciously. "And why are you in our house?"
"Fred, I think they're burglars!"
"BURGLARS? YOU GET OUT RIGHT NOW!"
"AAAH! HERMIONE, HELP ME! STOP BITTING ME! GET OFF! AAAAAAH!"
At this, Ginny clapped her hands and giggled.
"Stop! Stop right now!" exclaimed Hermione. "I'm Hermione, and this is Harry. Your parents, er, hired us to babysit for you."
"Oh, all right then." Fred took his teeth out of Harry's arm. "I'm sorry."
"Now, what are all of your names, and how old are you?" asked Hermione kindly, trying not to bite Harry herself.
"But we already-" Harry was cut off but a less-than-gentle elbow in his ribs.
"My name is Fred, and I'm six!"
"I'm George, we're twins!"
"I'm Ron, and I'm four," said the younger boy from his place with his sister. He had very good speech for a four-year-old
"I'n Ginny! I'n free!" exclaimed the baby girl. Harry was sure she meant "I'm" instead of "I'n" and "three" instead of "free." (Think Michelle Tanner from Full House and you've got Ginny.)
"Right, hello," said Hermione. "Now, your mummy and daddy are going to be gone for awhile, so you - oh god. Harry, they have to come to Hogwarts with us."
"HOGWARTS!" screamed all four little Weasleys/
"Mummy says we have to wait till we're eleven," said George, trying to show eleven with his fingers and failing.
"Well, Harry and I are going, and since mummy and daddy are going to be away, you're coming with us," Hermione said.
"Oh," said Fred.
"So why are our clothes too big?" asked George. Indeed, his red sweater was hanging off his shoulders, his pants around his ankles.
"Oh, I can fix that," said Hermione. She hesitated. "In a week."
"I don't like my big clothes," said Ron in a small voice.
Hermione hesitated. "Er, I'm sure there are clothes for you... Harry, stay with them, I'll be right back."
She ran out of the room and down the stairs.
"Er... hello," said Harry uncomfortably.
"Hi," said the twins, Ron and Ginny. Fred and George glanced at each other and grinned. This could be fun. If the played their cards right, this could be a lot of fun.