BeetleJuice or BeetleGuese?
Pent up ... make-over PART III
The freak Show
Charles: Lydia its time to go to the show!
Delia came bursting into the living room wearing a very bright dress consisting of blues and whites, and she wore a big gardening hat with a scarf draped over the top and tied under her chin. Charles looked at her with a surprised blank face just as Lydia came downstairs. Lydia began to blush in horror.
Lydia: Don't you think the Townsie mom-look is a bit much?
Delia: This is a BRIGHT and wondrous day for us all. I just wanted to show it and celebrate!
As Charles headed out to pack the trunk with the picnic supplies he over heard Delia's comment.
Charles: Well that's a swell idea. I'll go change into a white shirt.
Lydia rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. Just then the door bell rang. Delia jumped in front of Lydia and opened the door proudly as if to want to show her outfit off to the guest.
Delia: HELL-Oh. Who might you be?
BettyGuese: It's ME BettyJuice!
Delia: OH! Hello Betty! I didn't recognize you! Come in!
Lydia heard the conversation and her curiosity brought her to lean over from behind Delia. What she saw made her eyes open wide with surprise.
BettyGuese: HI Lydia! Long time no see!
"BettyJuice" was wearing a gothic school-girl outfit and besides her hair being black, it didn't resemble BeetleJuice's hair style at all. She was wearing black lipstick, a skull necklace, and her face wasn't the usual ghoulish blue. It was more like a "Lydia" white. BettyJuice was shorter as well. In all fairness BettyJuice looked like a best friend from out of Lydia's fondest dreams!
Lydia: HI.
As BettyGuese came in the door the whole Deetz family stood back in amazement.
Delia: Well. You certainly have changed.
Lydia: You're like a different person!
BettyGuese: I felt like I needed a drastic change of personality. And I figured why not try and fit in with my best friend, Lydia!
Charles: Well that sure was a thoughtful thing to do for Lydia! (Although she could have fixed her screechy voice)
Lydia: Yes…it was.
Lydia couldn't help but feel a little suspicious.
Lydia: Betty, could I see you for a second? Dad we'll be in the car in a moment.
Charles ok pumpkin we're ready when you are, but time's a tickin!
Lydia pulled BettyGuese aside.
Lydia: Ok I give, what are you after?
BettyGuese: I felt like becoming less conspicuous while we hung out from now on?
Lydia: Sounds smart enough. What are you up too?
BeetleGuese began to feel nervous.
BG (thinking): Man now I understand how BJ got so tamed.
BettyGuese: I figured if there's going to be any fun tonight no-one will be accusing the dirty odd-ball girl.
Lydia: Hmm. All right but keep your "fun" on the down-low.
BettyGuese gave Lydia a salute. Lydia then headed for the car. BettyGuese let a mischievous smile cross her cheeks.
On the way to the "school picnic and art show" BettyGuese explained her new way of life to be all thanks to Lydia and her new school instructor. This wasn't far from the truth.
The school parking lot was full and music and food was already bustling with patrons in the playground area.
Announcer: The school art presentations will be in one hour.
The Deetzs' and BettyGuese got out of the car and headed for the festivities.
Delia: Well, your teacher sure went out of her way to show off your little presentations!
BettyGuese (In BeetleGuese tone): I'll say.
Lydia: me and Betty will meet you two in an hour.
Charles: Ok pumpkin, here's some food money.
Lydia and BettyGuese headed for the Gymnasium while her parents got the picnic blanket set up.
Meanwhile in the Gymnasium.
Ms. Shannon: OH Lydia! Perfect! We're all here. Ok grab your projects and set them up outside in your designated areas and keep the curtain closed until you are called upon. You may have fifteen minutes to go get yourself something to eat. We will also be giving prizes to those whose projects fit into the designated categories.
Ms. Shannon pointed to a chart with her yard stick.
The chart read:
Realism
Detail
Believability
Originality
Showmanship
Clare read the chart then looked over in Lydia's direction.
Clare: Well, looks like we all know who the loser is going to be!
Lydia: Other than the fact that you're pointing me out; what are you talking about?
Clare: YOUR project is sure to be nothing but sheer nonsense. You might as well ask Ms. Shannon to fail you now.
With out warning BettyGuese butted in between the two girls.
BettyGuese (In BeetleGuese voice): Listen missy. Lydia has more talent in her one little camera button pushing finger! Then you have in your entire plastic body! If I were a pink festering virus like YOU… (I would have fed myself to the sandworms being so PINK)… uh, I would watch your back! Because sooner or later mother-nature is going to find a cure for what keeps you crawling around and make sure you shrivel like a dried up roach!
Ms. Shannon: Is there a problem here girls?
BettyGuese: Just a little competitive talk before the show.
BettyGuese gave her most innocent smile she could muster.
Ms. Shannon, repulsed by Betty's teeth ignored them and walked off.
Clare: Well then, may the best imaginary animal win. And too the looser, lets just say, I hope she likes to serve others.
Lydia shook Clare's hand.
Lydia: Deal.
BeetleGuese (Thinking): This gives me an even dirtier idea
Delia was enjoying the festivities, while Charles had spotted a rare bird on his list.
Charles: OH! A blue jay… I gotta get a closer look!
Delia ignoring his disappearance went on tasting things and looking at the crafts for sale in hopes to find something with "potential" and mangle it into her own creation.
Announcer: The Presentations are going to begin in a short while. Please take a seat and enjoy the show! There will be judging held at the end of the presentations. Thank you.
Delia: Oh I'm so excited! Charles you're going to miss the show! Charles?
Charles was no where in sight.
Delia: Must be in the men's room.
Without any more hesitation she found two empty seats and placed her purse on the other one for Charles.
Meanwhile, the girls had gone outside to their designated stands and closed their curtains.
Lydia: I'll be right back BJ I need to use the restroom. Just stay put and don't TOUCH anything.
BettyGuese: OK! Sheesh. I won't TOUCH anything heh heh.
BettyGuese watched Lydia go into the school. Then he looked over at Clare's Stand, to find no Clare.
BG: Hmm. This is perfect!
BettyGuese zapped Lydia's diorama. Then he poofed over to Clare's Project as a wasp, then, with his stinger zapped her project.
BG: Heh heh may the best animal win. I'm such a Snake, (Poofs into a snake)
in the grass.
BeetleGuese then slithered off into the back row of the chairs and sat down as BettyGuese, then poofed up a bag of Beetled-popped-corn.
Lydia walked up the grass hill to her stand. As she looked over to her parents spot she saw BettyGuese sitting in the back row.
BettyGuese then waved "hello" in an almost "goodbye" fashion un-noticeable to Lydia.
Lydia gave a short raise of hand to BettyGuese.
Lydia: What is he up too?
Lydia looked at her diorama. Nothing seemed wrong or changed. As she turned around to look at Betty, the Sand-worm toy (which she decided to add to the rest of the creatures) fell off of the poles which kept it propped up. But Lydia didn't notice.
Announcer: Ok let the presentations start! All students please stand in front of your curtains until you are called on. The first presentation is Bertha!
The crowd of 100 towns-folk clapped appropriately.
Bertha: My Imaginary animal that I documented is none other than the Computer Virus and its many species.
Clare, knowing she had adequate time fled into her curtain, and snuck over to Lydia's area. She then peeked over into the diorama she saw the one "sand-leech" toy on its side in the sand with no other toy creatures on their prop-sticks.
Clare (Whispering): What a shoddy diorama. She should have stuck with pictures.
She did not notice the holes that had been dug into the school-ground's grass below her feet.
Feeling there was nothing to ruin she snuck back to her own project and got in front of the curtain and smiled innocently. Meanwhile in Lydia's diorama, one of the sharp striped pointed rocks in the landscape (the sand-shark's fin) sunk into the sand, followed by the other camouflaged spikes belonging to the other creatures.
Announcer: Thank you Bertha! Next contestant will be Clare Brewster!
The crowd clapped
BettyGuese handed a note to the person in front of him. The person opened it and it read: "say theze wurdz! BeatleJoose BeatleJoose, BeatleJoose."
Person: BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice?
In a quick poof BG was gone unseen. The person, confused, turned around to ask what the note meant to find no one there.
Clare's dad: That's my girl! Pride of the town.
Clare: I, Clare Brewster, decided to mix two very beautiful fantasy creatures we all know and love together. But not in an ugly Frankenstein way like Lydia would have.
Crowd chuckles.
Clare: My animal is the Unicorn-Pegasus!
Lydia (Thinking): Real original name Clare, should have called it the Unisus or something.
Just as Clare opened her curtain a life-size Crystal blue Pegasus with a see-through golden horn on its forehead and lightly pink feathered wings reared up in a familiar horse-like pose and spread it's wings open to a full 17ft. The entire spectacle seemed like it was in slow motion to everyone around. Then the mighty creature whinnied and with its hind legs, leapt up and galloped into the air flapping its pink wings in magnificence. As it (still in slow motion) began to fly in front of the sun, with everyone still starring with mouths agape, a rumble from under the soil shook the entire school grounds. From under the grassy lawn a long worm-like creature leapt up towards the sun and snatched the Uni-Pegasus right out of the dawning sky.
Everyone began to panic. As they scurried for their vehicles, the sand worm looked down at the crowd drawn by their frantic noises. As he honed in on the crowd's movements the bloodied wings of the Uni-Pegusus began to grow limp in between the beasts lips. Before his mighty roar the Sand-worm swallowed its victim wanting more mortal blood.
Clare freaked out and began screaming. And then she was grabbed by one of her dad's bodyguards and taken into the limo.
Lydia, still standing at her curtain and looking into the sky confused at what was happening, suddenly remembered her diorama. She tore the curtain open and saw that the "toys" had all disappeared into the soil.
Lydia: BEETLEJUICE!
Lydia looked around for Betty and saw no one.
Lydia thought to herself.
Lydia: Well of course he wouldn't be sticking around here if there's a sand-worm!
So behind her curtain she said
Lydia: BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice!
Lydia was zapped into the neither world in front of BG's new place.
And with a face so angry it could freeze hell, she stormed right in.
Lydia: BEETLEJUICE!
BeetleGuese was sitting in his lazy-boy chair watching the Outterworld news covering the spectacle.
BG: You gotta get a look at this rampage Babes!
Lydia: I don't need to look, I saw it! I thought I said don't touch anything?
BG: I didn't touch a thing. But I zapped a couple of dioramas. Heh heh.
Lydia: BeetleJuice! There are people's lives being attacked out there!
BG: Yeah, just like old times.
Lydia stared at him for a moment in amazement, then over at the T.V.
The scene showed people running for the parking-lot. Then the Sand-snake twice the worms size, coiled most of the cars up crushing them.
Lydia: DAD! AND DELIA! BeetleJuice you are coming with me to fix this!
BG was already starring back at the news cast.
BG: AAAAAHH HA HA HA! Whoa! I should be taping this!
Lydia grabbed his wrist and said the words.
Lydia: BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BEETLEJUICE!
Suddenly they found themselves in the middle of the street. A giant fin came ripping towards them tearing the road down the middle.
BG: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
BeetleGuese poofed into a helpless baby and sucked his thumb.
Lydia picked him up and darted towards the grass.
Lydia: BeetleJuice, what caused you to do this!
BG: Honestly?
Just then the Sand-worm slithered from behind them casting a long shadow over the huddled duo.
The Sand-worm gave a green grin and lunged for them.
Lydia pulled BeetleGuese out of the way and rolled under a picnic table.
Lydia: you haven't quite been yourself since that day with Poopsie. What's goin on BJ?
BG: It's the best prank the Neitherworld has seen since my rampage at the Maitland's.
Lydia: This is all about the Neitherworld Ghost with the most contests? Have you gone insane? Look at this mess!
They both watched as the Sand-leech sucked the life from a tree.
Meanwhile, Charles was following the blue jay unaware of the rampage.
Charles: Hello little Jay jay, don't worry I just want to get a picture of your beautiful wing-span. Charles pulled out his camera. When he took his aim he saw the Sand-worm chewing on the branch that the bird had been resting on.
Charles began to convulse and twitch with nervousness. But his fear of being spotted kept him from making any sudden movements. As the monster chewed its meal it looked over at Charles, Charles instantly fainted. The Sandworm leaned over and licked his face. Then hesitated to eat him thinking he was dead, and since the beasts were addicted to the new mortal blood, it was not interested in Charles. Instead it slithered over him and chased a station wagon. Meanwhile, Delia was on the back of the rampaging Sand-shark screaming her lungs out, she was latched onto its large striped dorsal fin for fear she would fall off and be crushed upon the uprooted gravel on the sides of its body as it tore down the highway of Peaceful Pines.
Lydia: We have to get these things back into the Neitherworld.
BG: They aren't from the Neitherworld…
Lydia: Oh, true, well you brought them to life. So think of something.
BG: Um, how about I leave, and YOU stay here and figure something out.
Lydia was not amused.
Lydia: You can't go anywhere unless I say your name.
Lydia gave a smirk.
BG: On the contrary, I am merely here for the fun, BeetleJuice is the one bound by your words.
Lydia became confused. Then the sky darkened and BeetleGuese returned to his BeetleJuice state.
BJ: Hey Babes.
Lydia: So, let me guess, you have no idea what's going on!
BJ: Um.
BeetleJuice looked around at the surroundings.
BJ: Um, you wanted me to come watch a holocaust?
Lydia: Something's going on and before we figure it out we are going to put these creatures into the Neitherworld.
BeetleJuice let a look of fear and confusion cross his gaze at Lydia.
Lydia: Well, for lack of a better plan.
BJ: Ok well I'm deathly afraid of all of them and you have no powers, we're doomed. Well that was an easy plan let's go.
Lydia: can you shrink them back to toys?
BeetleJuice thought as he gawked at the Sand snake swallowing a school bus.
Lydia: BEETLEJUICE!
Out of instinct Lydia pushed BeetleJuice out from under the bench.
He rolled right into a standing position catching the glare of the Sand snake.
Sand-snake: HIIIiiiisssth!
BeetleJuice's legs froze up, he tried to run but his frozen legs snapped in half causing him to fall to the ground. The Sand snake lowered its face next to BeetleJuice's and used its tongue to smell him a few times. Just as BeetleJuice was about to turn himself into a turkey dinner to make it easier for the Sand snake, it slithered right over him to Lydia completely uninterested in BJ.
BeetleJuice: Hey!
BeetleJuice stomped on its tail.
Sand-snake: SSSSrrroooaaarrrrsssstthh!
The ugly striped serpent reared its head back to BeetleJuice.
BeetleJuice: what? am I not good enough for you anymore?
The serpent ignored him and turned back to sniff out Lydia again.
BeetleJuice: Oh I see! Goin all Atkins on me now huh?
The Sand snake snatched the bench and threw it over the school building.
But, before the beast could lunge for Lydia.
BeetleJuice: HEY!
The snake looked over at BeetleJuice finally annoyed. But when it looked down to sneer at BJ it noticed a large pink and purple striped figure. It reared its head up following the slender shape of this beautiful snaky pattern.
FemaleBJ-snake: Get a load of these maracas big boy!
BeetleJuice lifted his tail equipped with two large maracas and slammed it against the Sand snakes jaw knocking the beast out cold. BeetleJuice then poofed back into himself and helped Lydia up.
Lydia: WOW! BeetleJuice! How'd you over come your fear?
BJ: Fear? That was just a big snake! I like Snakes. I wasn't afraid for a second. Pffft!
Lydia: uh huh. Well then I guess he's next.
Lydia pointed to the Sandworm slowly coming their way.
BeetleJuice's eyes sunk into his skull and then popped out as he screamed.
BeetleJuice: SANDWORM!
Lydia: Oh please the snake was twice the size!
Lydia took a few steps back.
BeetleJuice put up his fists all brave like.
BJ: All right, you bait gone bad! Put up your dukes!
The Sand worm looked away from Lydia and roared at BeetleJuice. Just then, BeetleJuice's Fists deflated and turned to dust.
BJ: Heh heh heh. I uh, been meaning to fix those.
The Overgrown worm pushed BJ aside with its tail.
Lydia: BeetleJuice!
Lydia picked up a rock and threw it at the worm.
Clunk.
The Sandworm focused on where the rock hit his head and bounced off.
Sand-worm: RRuurr?
Uncrossing its eyes it snarled back at Lydia.
Lydia: Nice wormy worm.
Suddenly, a large shadow loomed over the worm from behind.
The monster twisted its coils to see a large striped seagull glaring down at it.
BJ-Gull: Um, Sorry shark-bait, but no-one messes with my Lydz! Sqwak.
Sand-worm: Gulp.
And with one swift peck the Sand worm was out for the count.
BJ poofed back to him self.
Delia: aaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!
The Sand shark had made its way back towards the school with Delia still roosted to its fin.
Lydia covered her mouth in amazement as she watched her step mother get paraded around town on the back of a sixty foot monstrosity like a cheap decoration.
BJ: Hmm this one's a little tricky.
Lydia: Turn into a big hook or something!
BJ: Lydz I can't turn into and eighty foot hook. The se-gull bit stretched out my pants.
BeetleJuice looked around for some inspiration. And then noticed a school book that had been tossed with the rubble that was once the library titled "Moby Dick"
BJ: HMMmm.
BeetleJuice then poofed into a Captain Ahab look-a-like, and rode on top of a crushed convertible which drug behind the shark in the rubble like a boat on the waves.
BJ: Um a vast! Ye stupid fish! (What? Not like I had time to actually READ the book!)
BeetleJuice then harpooned the giant flesh-starved creation.
Just then the shark stopped in its tracks.
BJ: Wow that was easy.
Delia finally stopped screaming.
Then the shark let out a horrible shrieky roar and turned around to face BeetleJuice. Just then a news helicopter came zooming by to investigate.
The Sand shark leapt up into the sky and crunched the propelling vehicle like an empty pop can. And with a few chomps it devoured the helicopter then looked back down at BeetleJuice. BeetleJuice started sprinting for Lydia in a desperate attempt to run away. He grabbed Lydia, put her over his shoulders, and ran as fast as one can in high heeled boots. The shark hesitated for a second giving them some running room. Then Lydia lifted her head up to see what was going on.
Sand-shark- BBBrrrooooOOAAAAARRRRGGGHH!
The leviathan leapt forward and began tearing through the streets again but aiming for BJ.
Delia: aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!
BJ: How close his he babes?
Lydia looked up to see five-foot teeth chomping down about ten feet behind them and closing in.
Lydia: Objects in mirror are NOT closer than they appear!
BJ (thinking): Come on stupid brain you got me into this now get US out!
(Cut-scene to BJ's brain sitting in a lazy boy watching the shark chase BeetleJuice.)
BJ's Brain: Awe man this is the part where the miracle happens and everyone is saved….BORING! (flips channels)
BJ: What a head-ache. (snort)
BeetleJuice Poofed into a large atomic lizard.
BeetleZilla: OK you sour sardine!
Delia looked up at BeetleZilla.
Delia: AAAAHHHHHHHH!
BeetleZilla: If I had that woman riding on my back I'd be cranky to. (snort)
The Sand Shark reared up to its full height Towering into the sky and ending up to be twice as tall as BeetleZilla.
BeetleZilla: COME ON LYDZ! THIS thing has to have SOME weakness! Give a ghoul a break!
The two titans began to exchange blows.
Lydia: I made all the weaknesses pretty logical.
BeetleZilla: He's sixty feet tall and full of teeth! I can't become BeetleZilla M.D.D.!
Lydia: he's like a shark! But normal sharks can't survive on land!
BeetleZilla: In that case go get me 13 million glasses of water!
Lydia: drag him too the Lake!
The shark then bit right into BeetleZilla's tail.
BeetleZilla: YOUCH!
BJ tried to pull him off but the shark would not budge.
BeetleZilla: Fine! You just made dragging your scaly butt to the lake easier for me!
Meanwhile Charles, finally awake from passing out, got up and looked around at the destruction that took place while he napped like a ninny. Every thing was quiet and there was barely any sunlight left gleaming off of the horizon.
Charles: Lydia?
Then he glanced over to where the school picnic was.
Charles: Delia?
He could hear something rummaging in the garbage cans nearby. As he glared into the darkness he squinted his eyes at an attempt to separate the moving figure from the dark shadows that concealed it.
Charles walked closer hoping to find out what happened earlier to cause such havoc.
Charles: Hello?
The dark figure backed out from behind the garbage cans and began moving towards Charles. As it came into the light, Charles' face grew pale.
Charles: What the?
As the Sand leech approached it opened its narrow mouth ready to suck the life from Charles Deetz.
Charles: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
The Leech reared up in confusion and turned its head in curiosity. Charles continued to laugh.
Charles: I finally snapped! All my stress has gotten the best of me! All of those hours I spent watching birds was all in vain! For all I know you're Delia trying to calm me down because I disrupted the school picnic when I finally went off the deep end. All this destruction is a mental metaphor of how I view my life!
Charles then looked at the big striped slug and opened his arms out as if to engage in a hug.
Charles: Delia, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you coming into my life and helping me raise Lydia.
Sand-leech: BBlurrble?
The sand leech began to back up as Charles approached with his arms opened wide.
Charles: I know I haven't always supported your art, but I love that you have something to express yourself with.
The leech then tripped over an overturned car.
Charles: I know I may sound crazy, and what I seem to say is probably coming out as lunatic ranting. But I will always love you.
Charles grabbed the big bug and gave it a smooch right on its big slimy lips.
The leech dug into the ground yelping like a dog with its tail on fire.
Charles: Oh, now she has left me. I'm all alone and crazy.
Lydia: Dad?
Charles: Lydia? You're not a bug!
Lydia gave Charles a confused look.
Lydia: Are you feeling ok?
Charles: Oh yes. I've never felt better now that I'm crazy. I just envisioned Delia as a fat slug monster and she ran away.
An awkward silence fell between Lydia and Charles.
Lydia: Dad, Delia is with BettyJuice.
Charles: What?
Lydia: You single handedly chased that leech away.
Charles: I did? I'm not crazy?
Lydia gave her dad a warm smile. And then Charles fainted again.
A little while later Lydia had finally went back to where BJ was last seen wrestling the Shark, Dragging her dad behind her.
BJ: Find yer pops?
Lydia: Yeah but he fainted after I told him he wasn't crazy.
Lydia looked over at the sand shark which was slumped on the parking-lot pavement fast asleep with his mouth open.
Lydia: what happened here?
BJ: I guess I wore him out.
Lydia: Good lets get him into the Nietherworld dessert.
BJ: Sorry toots, but I'm too pooped to poop. I need to charge my juice.
Lydia: What if it gets up again?
BJ: Then you say the magic words and we go back to the Nietherworld and never come back.
Suddenly a black ominous cloud came from the sharks gaping mouth.
BJ: You gave him poisonous gas breath too? Geez Lydz, one would think you secretly want to destroy the world creating a creature like that.
Lydia: I didn't give him Poison gas anything.
Lydia looked closer at the cloud. It seemed to move like a school of fish.
Lydia: That must be his cleaners!
BeetleJuice stared blankly at Lydia.
Lydia: It's these little bat guys that live inside him. They come out when the shark is drained of energy since it never sleeps, to feed on the stuff between his teeth and his scaly hide. And any other source of food nearby. This gives them a sort of radiant energy, and then they kind of glow. So they go back inside when they are done feeding, and they plant their fangs into the shark's insides and they pump him full of that access energy to give him life.
BeetleJuice continued to stare blankly.
Lydia: he's so big and uses up so much energy that he becomes immobile when he's tired. So, these bat things actually refuel him so he can stay alive. I designed the shark to eat garbage and decaying things in the Nietherworld desserts or garbage dumps. And since garbage isn't very nutritional to a living thing, I designed these bat-like things to give him life sustaining nutrients so he can continue to clean garbage from the Nietherworld.
BJ: You, have WAY to much time on your hands Lydz. Besides, I LIKE the garbage. It makes my morning so much more meaningful.
Lydia: Well I didn't intend for him to actually exist! I needed to give my creatures an ecological purpose for my project. YOU'RE the one who gave these things life.
BJ: About that. Technically it was me but actually it wasn't.
Lydia: how does a ghost like you get possessed?
BJ: I wasn't possessed! Remember way back in the day when I tried to kill your parents and marry you?
Lydia: I try to forget.
BJ: Ouch. Anyway, that part of me had been pushed back into my brain and has developed some pent up anger. Now the old "me" is trying to take over. "He" even spells his name differently. But I can't spell or say that name either since it's still my name. Maybe the Maitlands still have my old flyer.
Just then a little bat creature dropped out of the night sky, and landed in front of BeetleJuice.
Bat: (Bat-ish sounds) squeak?
BJ: What do you want? Food? Forget it.
The bat thing gave BJ a curious look as if it was trying to understand.
BJ: Look! I'm empty I got Nothin for you!
BeetleJuice opened his jacket showing the bat he had nothing.
Lydia: Awwwe he's so cute!
The little bat thing looked at Lydia with its big shiny eyes like a lost puppy.
BJ: All the more reason we shouldn't trust it.
Lydia: Here you go.
Lydia handed the creature a cookie she got at the picnic and watched him munch down on it.
BJ: LYDZ? You just helped "Moby Dick" over there get more stamina!
Lydia: Oops.
BJ: Great I'll have to become BeetleKong soon since BeetleZilla is tired.
Lydia: Maybe we can use these guys to our advantage.
Just then a larger bat-thing chomped on BeetleJuice's hair thinking he was a decaying corpse and started dragging him off.
BJ: AAAHHH! Whys he attacking me?
Lydia: He thinks you're a rotting corpse!
BJ: WOW these guys have good taste.
Lydia grabbed a piece of broken side-walk and chucked it at the bat-creature, knocking it out cold. BeetleJuice then dropped to the ground.
BJ: OUCH!
Lydia: Eeww, looks like the majority of these guys aren't all so cuddly looking as the last one. Come to think of it I didn't even come up with a design for these guys. So how did the other BeetleGuese know what they looked like?
BJ: He doesn't. See, I can give inanimate things life. And I guess some strange power brought about the rules and talents of your creatures into reality.
Lydia: Can't you just re-take the life you gave them?
BJ: If every irresponsible ghoul could take life, then there wouldn't be much of a job for Ole Grim Reaper now would there?
Lydia: Good point. Well made. So how do we stop thousands of bats from feeding a sixty-foot fish?
BJ: I can hold them off if you can go get the other two creatures knocked out.
Lydia: Let's see we got the worm and the snake. So now we need the leech and the piranha. I haven't even seen the piranha at all yet! How am I going to find these guys BJ?
BJ: Follow the screams. (Snort)
BeetleJuice turned into a giant piece of duct-tape and covered the shark's mouth.
BJ: Hurry babes!
Lydia tried to think of all the things she had written about the monsters, looking for some way to lure them back to BJ.
Lydia: OK let's see, the leech will be drawn to anything alive or any large amount of unnatural liquid. The piranha will be drawn to humid swampy areas teaming with viruses, and nuclear waste dumps. So either I go to the Soda-Cola factory to find the sand leech, or the vast sewers of Peaceful Pines for the sand piranha.
Lydia looked down the street and could see the soda factory and then looked down at a man-hole lid.
Lydia: Hmm ok which creature possesses the most threat? The sand leech is slow and will be sucking soda for hours or the sand piranha which eats any flesh or germ infested thing it can find and then multiplies?
Lydia ran to the abandoned gas station nearby and took a crow bar from the shelf. With out hesitation she ran to the nearest sewer lid and opened it up.
Lydia listened for any unusual sounds as she crept down the ladder. As she reached the bottom she looked at the sewer surroundings.
Lydia: This is going to take forever. If only Percy was a dog and not a cat…or a coward. I bet Poopsie could fi...POOPSIE!
Meanwhile.
BJ: And you just never know when to expect it. First I'm enjoying life and then I'm in line to get my death certificate. You of course are an exception being a big dumb animal.
Lydia: Pant-pant. BeetleJuice! We have to go to the Nietherworld!
BJ: But if I let go then this guy will get his Three thousand course meal!
Lydia: I need Poopsie to track the sand beasts for me!
BJ: Can't you get Percy to do it?
Lydia: Percy couldn't catch a dead mouse. He's afraid of everything that casts a shadow.
BeetleJuice glanced behind himself and looked at the sand shark's shadow that loomed across the entire parking-lot.
BJ: You make a persuasive argument.
Just then a shadow crept up behind Lydia.
BJ: Uh Lydz. I think we can cancel Poopsie.
Lydia turned around to see the sand piranha floating towards her flipping its little light-bulbed antenna in her direction as if to lure her to his mouth.
After she realized it wasn't going to directly attack her, she grabbed a nearby picnic blanket and covered the beasts head.
BJ: Now bash in its skull!
Lydia: With what?
The fanged fish chomped up the blanket and puffed up as big as it could get. (About 4 feet high)
It then opened is razor filled mouth and backed Lydia up against a tree.
Lydia: BeetleJuice!
Bat: Squeeeeeeeeek! Screeech!
The cute little bat-creature Lydia fed earlier attached itself to the freakish fish and began draining its stamina and life force nearly reducing it to a colorless carcass.
Sand-piranha: RRrreeaarrrgggle.
The fish dropped to the ground barley moving.
Bat: Squeek!
Lydia: Thank you! He's cute and courageous.
BeetleJuice: Sounds like a description of what could be my "evil twin"
Lydia gave a little giggle.
Lydia: You are the evil twin.
Bat Horde: screech screech!
Lydia: Here they come.
The little bat began to glow along with the others but he stayed standing on the ground next to Lydia.
BJ: AAAAAHHHHHH! They're in my HAIR, they're in my HAIR!
The bat things began to claw at BeetleJuice and some tried ramming into him. BJ: we'll just tire them out and then go get that leech.
Then the bats flew off into the sky and made a U-turn as if to do one giant charge for BeetleJuice.
BJ: Uh oh.
Instead of beating into him they all latched onto his outstretched body.
After a brief silence they all lifted their heads and began making a soft squeak as if to sing.
BJ: Something you haven't told me Lydz?
Lydia: This is new to me.
A loud rumble came from inside the shark. And then a loud muffled roar also from inside. After a moment a large bat-like head filled with fangs pushed up against BeetleJuice's tape-ish shaped body and tried to reach out to the other bats.
BJ: I can't hold on much longer Lydia!
The littler bats began to pull on BeetleJuice while the large bat inside pushed.
BJ: How long do we have to get the leech before Jaws here refuels completely?
Lydia: Um I don't know.
BJ: YOU"RE THE CREATOR! MAKE SOMETHING UP! AND IT WILL BECOME REAL (hopefully)!
Lydia: Um, judging the amount of bats and how much they can inject into him. Oh, about an hour?
BJ: That's it? You could have said something more like until day break!
Lydia: Sorry! I was being logical!
BeetleJuice let go of the shark's lip and nose and darted for Lydia while the bat creatures piled in the cave-like mouth.
Lydia: OK take me to the Soda-Cola factory.
BeetleJuice transformed into a big stripped bat.
Lydia: A bat?
BJ: It seems to be the theme for tonight.
BeetleJuice looked down at the little bat creature who did not join his colony.
BJ: What're you lookin at?
The bat creature stared longingly at BeetleJuice.
BJ: Whatever.
BeetleJuice lifted off and took Lydia to the factory.
Looking around a bit confused the bat thing decided to follow Lydia instead of flying back into the mouth. He then looked around and injected the access nutrients, which was meant to feed the shark, into a damaged teddy bear. He stopped glowing and lifted himself off the ground and made his way towards BeetleJuice.
As Lydia rode on BeetleJuice's back, she looked behind her at the sand sharks limp body. After a few glances she noticed parts of its body beginning to glow the same white-ish green as the bats were.
Lydia: That must be the injection. It's kind of a romantic glow in the darkness. If only that glow didn't mean our doom, I'd like to stop and watch it light up the night sky.
Just then her area of focus was changed after the little bat ascended in front of her view of the shark.
Lydia: OH! Hello little guy. You want to follow us?
Bat: squeak!
Lydia: Hahaha! Ok common you can sit on my lap.
The little bat glided over to her and rested his little wings.
Bat: Squee!
BJ: Stupid cute animal. (Look at me I'm a cute little bat who feeds a giant shark whose going to eat us all but that's ok! Cause Lydia likes me!)
Lydia: Are you talking to yourself?
BJ: It just so happens, I am! (Not like I get a choice. You and your dirty pet ride on my back while I do all the work around here.)
Lydia: Ok we're here! Land by the main entrance! We'll sneak around to the back by the Soda tanks.
Meanwhile Delia and Charles Deetz walked down a crumbles road towards their house.
Charles: Do you think we caused this?
Delia: What on earth do you mean?
Charles: Just like we conjured those ghosts up in our previous house. Do you think we opened some gate to hell and now the whole town is haunted and filled with demons?
Delia: Well, I suppose it's a possibility. But Lydia was "friends" with the gho- the Maitlands. I think she would know of something like that.
Charles: Unless they're evil and don't plan on telling Lydia and then engulfing Peaceful Pines for their own sick zombie habits.
Delia: I think you're concentrating too deeply on this Charles. How bout some hot cocoa and your favorite movie?
Charles: Yeah that sounds nice. What about Lydia!
Delia: from what I saw Lydia can handle herself.
Delia continued to comfort and walk Charles home like a nurse to a mental patient.
BJ: He's so gelatinous looking then from before.
Lydia: Shh! It's all that soda pop.
Bat: sqwee!
BJ&Lydia: Shhhhhh!
The little bat tucked his ears back knowing his error.
Sand-leech: Blurbsss?
Lydia: I think he heard us.
Lydia: got any Ideas Beej?
Lydia looked over at BeetleJuice who was in the shape of manual juicer for oranges.
Lydia: Gross.
BJ: How about this?
BeetleJuice changed into a syringe.
Lydia: Hmm I don't know.
BJ: Ok then why don't we just send in Bitey here. He took care of the last beast.
Lydia: Ok. That might work.
Lydia kneeled down to the bat creature.
Lydia: Will you go bite that leech for us?
The bat cocked his head curiously.
Lydia motioned biting and then pointed to the Leech.
The little bat thing lifted himself into the air and flew right towards the leech.
Bat: Sqweek!
Sand-leech: BBlllraabbbgg!
The leech was too slow for the little bat. The bat creature darted around the leech until it finally grew dizzy then he sunk his big fangs into it and began draining. After a few moments the bat became filled with liquid and his body expanded into a sphere. He fell to the ground and rolled around until he hit a wall. He tried to get up but all he could do was wiggle his tiny hands and legs.
Bat: Sqwee!
The little bat began to glow again.
This caught the attention of the leech that was back to its normal size.
The bat thing tried to waddle away as fast as it could.
Lydia: Hey!
The leech turned its attention to Lydia.
Lydia: Whoa, Um, Heh heh.
The leech began to crawler towards her.
Lydia: Beetle-
BJ: Hey blood sucker! Over here!
The leech again, averted its attention.
BJ: Hope you were thinking of STICKING around!
BeetleJuice transformed into a spider and ensnared the leech in a web.
BeetleJuice: Hop on Lydz!
Lydia: Good thing I like spiders. Come on little guy!
The little bat waddled over to Lydia who picked him up.
With a self-induced "Hee Ya!" BeetleJuice was out the door on all eight of his candy cane-stripped legs.
Upon arriving to where the other beasts were lying unconscious, BeetleJuice transformed into a fork-lift and piled the other monsters next to the regenerating shark.
BJ: Let's get this train a movin!
BeetleJuice transformed into a demonic zoo train and loaded the beasts up.
BJ: Next stop, the Nietherworld!
Lydia and the bat boarded BeetleJuice's passenger car which was decorated in beetle pattern on the inside with black and red stripes on the carpet.
BJ: Please be sure to double check your seat-belts and make sure they are broken and or installed incorrectly to maximize your riding experience. Thanks for choosing Beetle Engine 13. In case of emergency please stand in an upright position and flail your arms and legs outside the window as you panic. Enjoy your trip.
Bat: Squeak?
Lydia: Don't worry he's just joking. BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BEETLEJUICE!
As the Beetle train slowly began to move forward on its striped train tracks, a menacing black and purple portal opened up like a gate to a forsaken realm.
The little bloated bat covered his eyes and tucked his ears back.
Charles looked out the window as he watched his movie and drank his cocoa to see a horrible portal opening up on the horizon.
Charles: I was right.
With that he fainted again.
The Beetle train began to gain speed down the hill right into the portal. As soon as they were inside the downhill ride became a vertical drop on some narrow train tracks.
BJ: AAHHH HA HA HAAA!
Lydia clinched onto her stomach while the bat got stuck between the cushions.
Suddenly the drop went up diagonally then back down. Then twisted in several crooked loops. Finally they hit another portal bringing them into the Nietherworld outskirts.
BJ: We hope you have enjoyed your blood curdling experience. Thank you for choosing Beetle engine 13.
Lydia: You make "nightmare" Doomy seem like a joy-ride.
BJ: I aim to please.
The bat rolled out of the passenger car.
Bat: BBBUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!
The bat burped up all the soda and caused the narrow snaky road to shake.
BJ: Hey, that was pretty good. Maybe that little bat isn't so bad after all.
Bat: Squee!
Lydia: Ok let's dump these guys out here. And be rid of them. I designed them for the Nietherworld so they should do fine here.
BeetleJuice tipped his cargo hold over. They all watched as the beasts fell into the vast dessert.
Lydia: Let's go before that shark wakes up.
BJ: Over and outta here!
BeetleJuice transported them to his apartment.
BJ: Guess I should take you home.
Lydia: What are we going to do about Peaceful Pines? It's nearly in ruins!
BJ: I'll call a couple of ghoul friends. And let you know tomorrow.
Lydia nodded and said the magic words.
Lydia, BeetleJuice and the bat thing stood in front of her house. Then looked behind them at Peaceful Pines below. Several Buildings were on fie and the sound of sirens filled the valley. Several helicopters flew overhead.
Lydia: Oh boy.
BeetleJuice
let out a tear as he gazed over the landscape.
BJ: It's
so…beautiful.
Lydia rolled her eyes.
Lydia turned around and headed for the door.
BJ: What about this bitey thing?
Lydia turned again and looked at the bat thing. The bat gave her its best sad puppy dog look.
Lydia: Well I can't keep him here. Delia might turn him into a monstrosity of art and dad would faint every time he saw it. Take him home with you. You could use a roommate.
BJ: Bunk with this fuzzy bundle of joy? I have a reputation to uphold!
Just then the bat hiccupped and bit into the garbage can injecting all of the glowing substance he had into the garbage container. The garbage can began to shake and sprouted four curly wiry legs and some teeth in the top lid and walked off spewing garbage everywhere.
Bat: Urp, Hiccup!
BJ: On second thought maybe I could use a little beast around the house.
Lydia: Well you'll have to name him.
BJ: Hmmmm. hadn't thought of that yet.
Lydia: I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow Beej.
BJ: Night Lydz.
Lydia: YAAWwwnn. BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice.
BeetleJuice Disappeared with a cloud of smoke.
Lydia dragged herself up to bed.
Lydia closed her door and got into her spider web night gown.
Lydia: What a day. I wonder if I'll get an A.
Meanwhile in a big white mansion.
Clare was strapped to her bed in a straight jacket and her hair was all frizzy. She stayed calm and alone in her room.
She had officially freaked out at the school picnic and would not calm down so she had been tied down to her bed for lack of a better way to make sure she didn't hurt herself.
She calmly thought to herself.
Clare: Lydia had to have something to do with this. That thing looked like it came right out of her diorama. I'll expose her as the devil worshiper she SO is! She ruined my exhibit! She ruined my perfect day! She ruined my perfect life! She ruined MY HAIR!
Suddenly a nurse busted in and gave Clare some morphine.
Back at the picnic.
Bertha: Prudence. Did you see all of that?
Prudence: I witnessed the collision of the supernatural with the logical world of man.
Bertha: We could have been killed.
Prudence: We are so small and insignificant in this life that we were not noticed among the masses.
Bertha: Lydia was in the middle of every aspect. Those monsters looked like the worm things she always makes at school.
Prudence: Perhaps her creative pictures have been of real living creatures this entire time.
Bertha: Coool.
The two friends stood and watched the morning sun bathe the nightmare-ish destruction with a new light as they took in and accepted what had happened to their once peaceful town.
Bertha: I really feel like having a bagel.
Next… Ruxpin runaway.