"My mind is like a children's playground!"

Shigeru Miyamato

Chapter Two

"Say, Sergeant," Remi asked curiously, "Where have all the privates gone?"
"What? Oh, yes," The Sergeant, who shall henceforth be known as Sergeant Spatootie, answered, "The ladies in Kakariko Village dry their underwear today – The troops like to take popcorn and make a day of it."
"Ah. How do we get into the castle again?"

The scene switches to the courtyard outside Hyrule Castle, filled with barrels. One by one, the barrels begin to move towards the door. A guard, who is currently guarding the drawbridge, looks up.

"Who's there?" The guard, who we shall now know as Terry, demanded.

"Er…" A voice said, coming from one of the larger barrels. "There's nobody here but us barrels!"

"Uh.." Terry began. "Right.."

"So what's the deal with this job anyways. Are you always on the nightshift?"
"More or less." He answered.

"Don't you get ti'ed by mo'ning?" Another barrel asked.

"Not really," Terry replied, wondering where this was going. "Say, do you have business with the king?"

"Yep," The original barrel spoke this time. "We have to go.. Uh… Be.. barrels, for him."
"Yeah!" Chorused the rest. "That's it!"

"Ah!" Terry exclaimed, opening the drawbridge. "A most noble aspiration! Go right in, sirs and miss!"

Terry watched the barrels go in, gave a little wave, shouted a farewell, and shut the drawbridge over.

Remi and the dekus took of their barrels.

"What an idiot." Remi said.

"Yes!" A deku agreed. "Uh.. Miss.. What do we do now we're he'e?"
There was a long pause, then she replied, "I'm not paying you to ask silly questions, Lawrence."

"You're not paying me at all, Miss." Lawrence said slowly.

"Ah.. well…" Remi said. "What ARE we gonna do now, Sergeant?"
"Uh.. well…" The Sergeant stuttered unsurely. "We.. This wasn't a planned bugwawy."
"But Sa'ge, you just said to me this mo'ning that this was your bestest plan yet. In fact, you.."

"Be quite, Jonathon."

"Sergeant?" Remi said.

"Yes?"

"Permission to tell you this plan is the most awful plan ever?"
"Pe'mission denied."
"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" One of the privates said, leaping about.

"What is it?"

"We should kidnap the pwincess and hold her to wansom for a hundwed-thousand wuppees!"
"That is a tewwible plan!" The Sergeant started. "I have a bette' one. We shall… Whisper whisper whisper."
The dekus and Remi burst into applause.

"That's a much better plan!" One shouted.

"Yay!"
"Shh… You'll wake up the king!"

Link rode to Lon Lon Ranch on his horse, Dobbin.

"Hey!" Link shouted. "It's Epona!"

Ah, okay.. So… Link rode to Lon Lon ranch on his horse, Epona. The sun had just risen, and he was about to deliver to Malon the news that would change her life forever. Upon reaching the gate, he was greeted by the sight that would start the actual storyline: A trail of bright yellow feathers, leading of in the direction of the Kokiri Forest and Lost Woods.

"Link!" Link looked up, and was delighted as he saw Malon running towards him, followed by a squawk of cuccos.

"Hey Malon." He answered.
"Is it true Link? Are all the horrible, horrible rumours true?"

"Everything you hear is true," Link said, in a grim and angry voice. "Some thieves have stolen the kings pirzed canary, and they are holding it for ransom in the favour a hundred thousand blue smarties."

"Oh! I must tell my dad and Ingo of this, straight away!" Malon gasped, turning and heading for the house and stables.
Link looked down at the cuccos.
"So, uh.. How's life treating you?"
"…" The cucco said nothing.

"That bad, huh?"
"…"
"No! It was not your fault she left you! It takes two to argue!"

"…"

"Yeah, life can be hard, but ya gotta get over it. Meet new people, see new things!"

"…"

"Link? Who were you talking to?" Malon asked, coming out of the stables.

"No one."

An: Bah, I need to write longer chapters.. Hope you liked that one! I think it's better than the last one, but I wouldn't know. I'm going to Banburgh in England from Tuesday to Thursday, so no updates then. I have it all pretty much planned out, though. Again, I ask for reviews, especially constructive criticism. Thankyou!

Reviewers

Thankyou to WindSage1790, the first and only reviewer. Your review was very much appreciated!

(If I miss anyone out, it is because I submit this chapter before you had the the chance to leave a comment.)