Author's Notes: Crack pairing generator again. To say what it was would be spoil-y, so I'll reveal at the end of the fic. Betaed by Fated.
Disclaimer: I disclaim.
Taki bent his head down as he got off the bus, wondering how the hell he had talked himself into this. Sure, the school in front of him was nice, but it definitely wasn't as nice as Hyoutei, so why was he even bothering to get off the bus? He might be off the Regulars, but even if he was off the team for good, the thought of a transfer getting on the team of another school in his third year, after the year had already started, was nearly as ridiculous as the prospect of following Shishido's footsteps and getting through Kantoku's zero-tolerance policy. Hell, the thought of transferring at all in the middle of third year was ridiculous in itself. So why was he here?
Nevermind that transferring was ridiculous, why this school? He might've been invited, but…the lady with the huge boobs had been scary. He didn't want her as a coach, even if she had implied she'd get him on the regulars. If that was what "masterpiece" meant, anyways. Even her phrasing was freaky, if not as freaky as her abnormally bloated bosom. Not, like…the-noises-coming-from-the-showers-when-Oshitari-and-Mukahi-went-in-at-the-same-time-level freaky, but still. Freaky. Maybe Shishido-making-eyes-at-Taki's-damn-doubles-partner-level freaky. Well, not his doubles partner anymore, but—
Oh. Right. That was why he was thinking of transferring to Jyousei Shounan. Because there was no way it could possibly be as full of weirdos as Hyoutei. Holding this firmly in mind, he started towards the outdoor courts where the boob-lady had said to drop by.
His first impression was that Jyousei's team had very… diverse hair. He'd thought Mukahi's was weird, but… the only Jyousei players who had relatively normal hair were some really hot guy with a piercing (At 14? Or younger?) who looked like he was practicing the limbo, and this dude he would have thought was a coach if he hadn't been wearing the uniform. Honestly though, he could've beat up Kabaji. And those looked like the two most normal-looking players. OK then…maybe Jyousei could be as full of freaks as Hyoutei.
There was some tall guy who looked like his razor had broken halfway through shaving his head…and were his ears naturally that pointy? A bunch of girls were squealing at a boy with orange hair who was jumping around the court with his legs together, across from a couple players who had to be twins.
"Hey, Wakato!" yelled the pink-haired one. "We know you're trying to find a new way of playing, but I don't think mermaid-style is working."
"MerMAN! MAN!" screamed the flopping freak.
"Whatever, Ariel," replied the blue-haired twin. "Anyways, I think you concentrate better with your legs spread."
"Yeah, prob—HEY!"
"Hanamura-sensei invite you over?" came a voice from near Taki's belly. He jumped, head snapping down. The shortest Jr. High student he'd ever seen was standing on the other side of the fence. With purple hair. And weird green goggles. "I should let you know…at Jyousei, there's…special training with the coach." He looked Taki up and down slowly, making a weird buzzing noise as he did so. Getting checked out by someone whose eyes were less than a foot from your groin was… very disconcerting. He looked back up at Taki's face, smirking oddly. "That is…unless you have it with the other players."
Taki stepped back nervously. "Ah…I think I'll pass, if it's all the same to you. Send my regrets to your coach?"
Then he ran all the way back to Hyoutei. Screaming.
"HIYOSHI! IT WAS HORRIBLE! HOLD ME!"
"Taki-senpai? Have I…ever talked to you before?"
Notes: The generator gave me Oota/Taki, mermaid. I couldn't resist because I love Oota and his weird little noises. The mermaid was sorta a side thing, but oh well! The Ariel thing…I normally HATE references to American movies in fanfiction that takes place in Japan, but I couldn't think of any other name for Kouhei to call him. And it's not talking about them watching the movie, which is the thing that bugs me. (Why do people need to insert the name of a movie that the Tenipuri characters would never have heard of when just saying that they were watching a movie would be exactly the same?) Anyways, I didn't feel like thinking of another name, and it fit so well I couldn't resist.